殺生防身

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Well, do ya, punk?


偵探卡拉漢 - “Dirty Harry” 和他那威力無比的 .44 口徑左輪手槍
插圖選自 http://en.wikipedia.org/

朋友甲，職業科學，能文善武。朋友乙，職業買辦，能言善吹。

朋友甲供職美八軍五師，Platoon leader，雙手使槍百步穿楊；朋友乙供職滬上洋行，買辦頭領，雙手使筆妙筆生花。

朋友甲習武愛槍，持短槍兩杆。一曰 Beretta 92， 另曰 Smith & Wesson 4513 TSW；並循規蹈矩每二十一天必對著紙片靶心，Full metal jacket，霹嚦啪啦彈殼橫飛硝煙彌漫地至少五十下的環境汙染一下。美其名曰：曲不離口，槍不離手。行曲不離口之效，得槍不離手之益；促進資本主義消費還他媽的創造就業機會。

一日，朋友乙買辦的幹活飛來美利堅。事畢，經共同朋友竄掇，尋之朋友甲，要來喝幾盅。完畢，朋友甲拾掇客房留宿朋友乙。順便，將藏於客房衣櫥的短槍按慣例退下彈匝檢查槍膛。朋友乙見 Beretta 92，鎢黑猙獰；4513 TSW，銀灰嚇然，便市民文化言不由衷：

“這是真的假的？”

朋友甲眯眼查看槍管來複線，不語。朋友乙商場買辦兵不厭詐，市民文化欲擒故縱：

“持槍有啥用？”

朋友甲咬牙切齒，如 Dirty Harry，終於惡狠狠地從牙縫蹦出四字：

殺生防身！

*****

“Dirty” Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood):

I know what you're thinking.

"Did he fire six shots or only five?"

Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky?

Well, do ya, punk?