沒什麽大毛病，以下都是我個人覺得可以商榷的地方，
1. In order to make the point that the new generation that was born into the digital age and grows up with computer, internet and social media is very different from those of us who have “learned” or “adapted to” the new technology, the article humorously calls the two generations “Digital Natives” and “Digital Immigrants” respectively.
>> This clause (with “,” inside) is a bit too long in the middle of the sentence, prone to incurring misunderstanding.
My version:
In order to make the point that how big the difference is between the new digital generation (people who were born into the digital age and grow up with the computer and social media) and those who have “learned” or “adapted to” the new technology, the article humorously calls the two generations “Digital Natives” and “Digital Immigrants” respectively.
2. calling someone on the phone to ask:
>> calling someone to ask: (more concise)
3. I start thinking that maybe we have way more “American Immigrant accent” than we think we do if we expand the definition of “accent” to include the blunders related to the content of our speech, grammatical errors and logical flaws.
>> to include content blunders, grammatical errors, and logical flaws. – this may achieve better parallel structure
4. I couldn’t help but wonder whether we are running the risk of appearing funny or even ridiculous by working meticulously on pronouncing “mountain” in the so-called “美味” (american accent) way and losing sight of a whole “mountain” of English knowledge and American culture.
>> meticulous -極仔細的; 一絲不苟的. It is not a derogative word. But here you are trying to to express your disapproval.
Maybe you can use:
by overworking on how to pronounce “mountain” in the so-called “美味”…
or by going overboard on how to pronounce in …
or overkill
5. Is our avidness in pursuing the much coveted “美味” in pronunciation overshadowing our efforts in reducing our other “accent” in the content?
>> Coveted - sounds weird here. It seems you like this word very much. This is the second time I saw this word in your articles. Hehe..
Is our avidness in pursuing the ultimate “美味” in pronunciation overshadowing our efforts in reducing our other “accent” in the content?
6. I laughed whole-heartedly at a scene from Ha Jin’s book A Free Life, when the protagonist, Nan Wu said to a potential employer in a job interview, “We got laid all together” leaving out the “off” after “laid”.
>> whole heartedly – unconditional commitment, unstinting devotion, or unreserved enthusiasm
I split my sides at the scene…
when -> “in which” to modify a “scene”;
need a “,” before “leaving out….”
7. What I am trying to do here is rehash what selfselfself said three months ago when I, like i999 now, ecstatic about the progress I had made in a short period of time.
>> was ecstatic
8. Another instance in the book that cracked me up is about the use of the idiom “play hooky”.
>> Instance means something real. 實例. I’d like to use “example” or “story” instead
9. Anyway, maybe I am just trying to justify my slacking off on the reading of 900 sentences;
>> reading – 看
read aloud. the read aloud 朗讀
