硬漢的柔軟內心 - 讀布考斯基詩《藍鳥》

 

查爾斯·布考斯基（Charles Bukowski 1920-1994）是當代美國最著名的“下層社會”詩人，他長相醜陋，隻上過兩年大學就輟學，終其一生生活於美國下層社會，大半生的職業是個郵局職員， 無妻無後，是個酒鬼煙鬼嫖客。他中年成名後，詩歌、小說在書店裏非常暢銷，所以他並不是個“窮人”。 若論金錢，他後來倒是個“富人”，但他有錢以後並沒有改變自己的生活方式與環境，他明白“上層”與“下層”之間的鴻溝不是金錢可以消除的，知道自己絕對改變不了自己“下層人”的命運，不曾幻想能“脫胎換骨”成為一個“上層人士”。 一方麵，布考斯基對下層社會的醜陋 - 粗俗、暴力、赤裸的性、醉酒 - 等缺點看得一清二楚，不曾想要美化；可以說他鄙視“下層社會。但另一反麵，他明白那就是命運給予他的生活，他別無選擇，隻有“擁抱”那樣的生活。 布考斯基對“命運”有深切的體會和理解。

 

 

《藍鳥》（Bluebird）一詩，使用一個美麗、嬌小、柔弱的“藍鳥”為象征，通過一個男人用“威士忌和香煙”把那隻“藍鳥”壓在心裏這樣的暗喻，表現了一個外表粗獷、剛硬的男人其實敏感、柔弱的內心 （“藍鳥”是美國一種鳥的名稱，不是泛指所有藍色的鳥）。 詩中先是三次重複“我的心裏有隻藍鳥，它想要跑出來”，但是詩人都想盡了方法不讓它跑出來； 他不想讓人看見他心裏那樣柔弱的東西。 所以他周圍的人從來不曾察覺到他心裏有這麽一隻“藍鳥”，隻看見他是條硬漢。詩人第四次重複“我的心裏有隻藍鳥，它想要跑出來”時，他說他隻會在深夜別人都睡熟以後，把那被關得緊緊的、可憐的“藍鳥”放出來一小會兒，對它說： 我知道你被關在那裏，我沒有忘記你；不要傷心。然後就把它關回去了。 “我沒有讓它完全死去，它在那裏麵還是會唱出點聲音。我們帶著我們的秘密協議一起睡著了。啊，這樣真是太好了。好得會讓一個男人掉淚。但是我不會掉淚，你呢？”

 

 

【原詩全文】

 

Bluebird

 

 

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say, stay in there, I'm not going

to let anybody see

you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I pour whiskey on him and inhale

cigarette smoke

and the whores and the bartenders

and the grocery clerks

never know that

he's

in there.

 

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say,

stay down, do you want to mess

me up?

you want to screw up the

works?

you want to blow my book sales in

Europe?

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too clever, I only let him out

at night sometimes

when everybody's asleep.

I say, I know that you're there,

so don't be

sad.

then I put him back,

but he's singing a little

in there, I haven't quite let him

die

and we sleep together like

that

with our

secret pact

and it's nice enough to

make a man

weep, but I don't

weep, do

you?

 

 

 

 

 

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say, stay in there, I'm not going

to let anybody see

you.

【理解】

詩人說他心裏有一隻“藍鳥”， 它想跑出來。 但是他對它很凶，他對它說“呆在裏麵，我不想讓人看見你”。

 

 

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I pour whiskey on him and inhale

cigarette smoke

and the whores and the bartenders

and the grocery clerks

never know that

he's

in there.

【理解】

詩人說他心裏有一隻“藍鳥”， 它想跑出來。 但是他用威士忌和香煙把它壓回了心裏。跟他打交道的妓女、酒巴侍者、雜貨店營業員都不知道他心裏有那麽隻“藍鳥”。

 

 

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say,

stay down, do you want to mess

me up?

you want to screw up the

works?

you want to blow my book sales in

Europe?

【理解】

詩人說他心裏有一隻“藍鳥”， 它想跑出來。 但是他對它很凶，他對它說“呆在裏麵，你想毀了我嗎？你想壞我的事嗎？ 你想讓我的書在歐洲賣不出去嗎？”。

 

 

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too clever, I only let him out

at night sometimes

when everybody's asleep.

I say, I know that you're there,

so don't be

sad.

then I put him back,

but he's singing a little

in there, I haven't quite let him

die

and we sleep together like

that

with our

secret pact

and it's nice enough to

make a man

weep, but I don't

weep, do

you?

【理解】

詩人隻會在夜深人靜時，悄悄地讓他的“藍鳥”出來，對他的“藍鳥”說些溫和的話。他們之間有著默契。然後他把“藍鳥”藏回心中進入夢鄉。詩人說他對這狀況非常滿意了，滿意得要掉下淚來。