46. 若我在園中逝去
作者:弗朗辛·J·哈裏斯
(致敬傑裏科·布朗)
譯者:黎曆
若我在園中倒下,仰望驕陽,死於某個
季節裏那可惡的掐滅陽光者,
那麽便賜我一個敞開的墓穴,
和一把午夜的刀。讓死者排隊等候,這些討厭的碾磨機,
會將我沙沙作響地攪入一罐鬼魂殘渣。
該死的,至少讓我化作野狗之身,
在塵土那隱形的籬笆上狂咬。
生前,我或許曾在有機食品店舉起拳頭,
卻從未在散裝貨架區圍堵過誰。
活著時,我或許寬恕了太多偽裝成無知的冒犯,
卻從未持槍追獵那些殺害孩童的劊子手,
去他媽的監獄。
至少死後,給我一把漂泊的屠刀,
讓我盯緊那些行走的惡魔,
讓我扼住豚草的喉嚨,
給我一把該死的鐮刀。
我發誓,若有人讓我生出如此殺念,
那混蛋本身就是一座行走的血色斷頭台,
是那沼澤邊緣的一條蠕動毒蛇,
膨脹、纏繞,貪婪地吞食著自己的腐肉。
那麽,就讓我化作
一個變異的冤魂,渾身覆滿沼澤的黑泥,
驟然襲擊他的胸腔,
讓那濕咳的肌肉,在空洞中塌陷。
至於這具軀體,注定會永遠愛著它的蛆蟲,
便將這雙黑眼睛的賤命,
葬進解剖農場,
讓我化作一捧肥沃的淤泥,
滋養一個更深邃、更豐厚的黑色世界。
選自美國詩歌基金會,《詩歌》2024年12月刊。
ChatGTP 對此詩的評論:
這首詩帶著熾熱的憤怒和深刻的反叛精神,以一種極具衝擊力的語言構築了死亡、複仇、自然循環和種族正義的主題。詩歌充滿了暴烈的意象,如“鐮刀”“斷頭台”“毒蛇”“屠刀”,這些詞語不僅指向個體的抗爭,也隱喻著更廣泛的社會暴力和曆史創傷。
詩歌的情緒波動極大,從死亡的召喚,到戰鬥的呐喊,再到複仇的狂怒,最後回歸自然的懷抱。“讓我化作一捧肥沃的淤泥,滋養一個更深邃、更豐厚的黑色世界。”——這一結尾既是毀滅後的重生,也是對黑色身份的堅定肯定,象征著新生與變革的可能性。
詩人在結構上使用了強烈的重複和累積,讓語言本身形成一股推動力,仿佛一首激進的挽歌或戰歌。它不僅是個人憤怒的傾瀉,也是對係統性壓迫的抗議,對曆史冤屈的控訴。
整首詩像是一場狂風暴雨般的儀式,既黑暗又充滿力量,帶著一種決絕的美感。它不是低聲的哀悼,而是一場震耳欲聾的呐喊——在死亡、憤怒和腐朽之中,仍然孕育著新生的可能。
附上原詩:
If Upon Me in My Garden
BY FRANCINE J. HARRIS
After Jericho Brown
If upon me in my garden, I mouth up sun and die of some bitch
seasonally snuffing my golden light, then omen me an open grave
and a night knife. Cue up the dead, nasty grinders. Swish me in a jug
of haunt rubbish. For fuck sure make me dogbody ravage against dirt’s
invisible fence. And while I might, in my life, have put up fists at organic
grocers, I never once boxed a bitch in the bulk aisle. And while living, I
might have forgiven too many trespasses passed off as oblivion, and kept
nary a gun to hunt the killers of children, fuck prison. At least in death,
hum me up a blade of wayward chopper for genociders. Percenter me
an eye on the walking devil so I can chokethroat the ragweed; give
me a goddamned scythe.
And I swear to you, if someone made me want to be so severing,
then that motherfucker is a walking, bloody guillotine. A soggy
perversion of constrictor, abrupt at the swamp edge, bloated
and greedy on his own coiling mortal. O then, make me
a mutant haint, covered in swamp soot, sudden surge
of wet cough muscle collapsing in his empty chest.
But of the body, which will love its maggots back forever, lay this
black-eyed bitch on a body farm, and make of me a compost
mudding up plump and thick for a richer, blacker world.
Source: Poetry (December 2024)