The “O” goes with the “B”

The “O” goes with the “B”

By 鳥一哥

 

Montreal 公幹.

 

喜歡自己開車,把自己的生命放在素不相識的人手裏,那是多大的信任.

可是這次不同.這是冰天雪地的新的一年,嚴寒多雪的一月.還是把車禍留給他人吧.

出了大廳,鑽進出租車.從說話的嘟啦聲可以斷定開車的是東歐人.

車子動了起來,望著車窗外冬季淒涼的景色.一股B.O.氣味迎麵撲來.趕緊打開車窗.暈暈呼呼的想到的是很顯然出租車的regulation 有一巨大漏洞. 就象有傳染病的人不能從事餐飲業一樣,有B.O.的人不能開出租車. 隨即便是Jerry Seinfeld 片段的playback.

Jerry: Boy, do you smell something?

Elaine: Do I smell something? What am I, hard of smelling? Of course I smell something.

Jerry: What is it?

Elaine: I think it’s B.O.!

Jerry: What?

Elaine: It’s B.O. The valet must have had B.O.

Jerry: It can’t be. Nobody has B.O. like this.

Elaiine: Jerry. It’s B-O!

Jerry: But the whole car smells.

Elaine: So?

Jerry: So when somebody has B.O., the “O” usually stays with the “B”. Once the “B” leaves, the “O” goes with it.

Elaine had her hair professionally washed at least twice but still stinky.

 

Jerry had his car professionally washed, but still smelly. He left his car to a homeless.

 

接著想起了多年前報上講的一個故事.

 

一黑哥們哼著小調走在鄉間的小路上去上班不幸被skunk給自衛了.正好趕上這黑哥們嗅覺有毛病,一路上人們掩鼻躲避,丫愣不知不覺.到了辦公室好心人告之這才意識到先前他人目光的異樣神情的跪異.滿澡盆的tomato sauce 洗不去身上的異味,幹洗店的老板不論價拒受皮夾可.

 

該不該給小費? 給吧,BO人也要養家糊口.

 

到了旅館,放下行李.洗澡換衣服.聞一聞,嗅一嗅,還好The “O” goes with the “B”.

 

說起來大老遠的在特定的時刻飛來鑽到這輛特定的出租車是一種巧遇或緣分.猿糞smells.