關於意義的追憶（5）

想到了美國詩人Robert Frost 那首The Road Not Taken:

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

and sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

and looked down one as far as I could

to where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

and having perhaps the better claim

because it was grassy and wanted wear;

though as for that, the passing there

had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

in leaves no feet had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less travelled by,

and that has made all the difference

 

這首詩在Frost的作品中最著名，該是由於大家在他們的每個十字路口麵前都有過的那種複雜感情。至少在我這裏是如此：現在明白了在從前的每個十字路口前的幼稚，我便與這詩有了共鳴。人的一生說短也短，說長也長，有數不清的大大小小的岔路和難關 – 往後看是這樣，往前看也是這樣。但是，知道了”way leads on to way” 的道理，就從現在做起，做好每一個選擇吧。

時間在我這裏再次展現她的大力。我知道了我是個看重和解的人。我反對社會中的暴力革命、也反對自己內心的暴力革命。所以，我的決定是做了個十五度的轉彎 - 不是一百八十度。職業跟很多東西一樣，相處的時間長了，也就有了感情，盡管還不是感動。但我的職業不再完全遮蔽我的視野。我把職業看成我在這個世界上生存該納的稅。交了稅，我就實現了與世界的和解，我就可以無憂無慮地享受我的自由、做我熱愛的事。

虎媽說：”多數人做他們熱愛的事都做得很臭  (most people stink at the things they love).”虎媽的觀察至少部分準確。我對此的解釋是：在現實生活中沒有多少人能以他熱愛的、感動他的事為職業。他們無法投入他們的全部生命，當然會做得很臭。我就覺得我總把自己熱愛的事做得很臭。但是，如果是臭味相投、樂此不疲、偶有會意便欣然忘食，我就實現了我的意義。這對我也就夠了吧。