十年前的一個風雪天, 我去墓地探望一位陌生的守靈者, 後來在博克中寫下這樣一篇文章>
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/myblog/32546/200801/13546.html
今天這位老人終於走到了盡頭. 他的事跡多家媒報道, 感人至深.
他走了,與她的心愛的人永遠在一起. 這個美麗的故事劃上了一個句號: Rocky 走好!
雪地裏的老人
今年的雪花格外早戀大地。距感恩節還有兩周，波城內外銀裝素裹，寒冬的幃幕迫不及待地拉開。清晨起來，望著窗外一夜雪觸景生情：“隨風潛入夜，潤物細無聲”。瞬間，漂流的思緒突然凝固在空間的視野裏。此時此刻，我多麽想拜訪一位令我不解、難以置信的高齡老人。我驅車向離家隻有五分鍾遠的墓地園駛去。是他！在那無數座連綿起伏的白色丘堆之中，我再一次目睹了這位老人的異彩：他像一顆青鬆，蒼翠挺拔，迎風傲霜；他像一塊頑石，剛硬堅實，不畏嚴寒。他的名字叫ROQUE，人們叫他“ROKEY”，今年88歲。十一年前，ROCKY的老伴JULITA因患心髒病，手術治療無效，不幸去世，終年75歲，葬於WEST ROXBORY ST. JOSEPH’S CEMETERY。葬禮後的第七天，ROCKY望著風雨交加的黑夜，悲傷至極。一聲雷鳴，喚醒了ROCKY的思維。“我不能把JULITA 獨自一人 留在荒外. .她是孤獨的.。一個人真正的死亡是世上沒有人再會想到他（她），JULIETA沒有死，她在我的心裏。” 從第二天起，ROCKY每日乘坐清晨MBTA Bus 39路轉37路，然後步行8個BLOCKS來到ST. JOSEPH墓地。“JULIA，I AM HERE。YOU ARE PART OF ME，SO HERE I AM WHOLE。”ROCKY習慣性的問候後，便靜靜地坐在墓穴邊，直到下午太陽落山。“JULIA 明天見”ROCKY懷著難舍難分的心情回到自己的公寓。日複一日，整整十一年。ROCKY現在居住的公寓裏仍然保持著JULITA生前所有的一切。冰箱裏放著十一年前JULIA做的PIZZA，桌上有JULITA日用的餐具，窗台上擺著JULITA生前的照片——她藍色的眼睛，黑色的卷發披肩而下。”SHE WAS PURE LOVE。HER BEAUTY WAS A GIFT APART，A REWARD”。ROCKY說JULITA時格外動情。ROCKY和JULITA結婚55周年。青年時，他們相遇在一家咖啡館內。充滿青春活力的ROCKY對美麗的少女JULITA一見鍾情。直到今天ROCKY仍然清楚地記得他們FIRST KISS的日子是SEPT.16，1937年。婚後他們相親相愛，育有一兒一女。兒子ROCQUEJR現住在麻州，女兒ANGELA住在夏威夷，共有五個孫兒和孫女。ROCKY雖已年邁，卻從不依靠兒女，至今仍獨立生活。兒女們對ROCKY的守墓，從不理解到深深地敬佩。在JULITA的墓穴邊，ROCKY不斷地記錄著往事的回憶，一頁頁的手稿裏傾訴著ROCKY對妻子深深的愛：“這是我的家”。ROCKY沒有悲傷，充滿著幸福。他的言談有說有笑，在荒涼的墓穴園裏讓你感受著這個“家”的概念。我留意著這個小小的“家”：一把風吹日曬的折疊椅子，一把退了色的雨傘，一頂草帽。一塊淡紅色的石碑，上半部刻著JULITA的名字和出生到死亡的日期，下半部刻著ROCKY的名字和生日期，留下半行空缺填寫一個將來。顯然這是一個夫妻合穴，有情人生死相依，永不分離。總有一天，ROCKY也會安息在此，與他的JULITA共度天上人間！ JULITA的墓地與眾不同。盛開著的美麗的鮮花、萬聖節的南瓜、迎風飄揚的彩旗、精巧的彩燈裝飾著這個不尋常的“家”。遠處的一棵楓樹上掛著一串風鈴，悅耳動聽，在寧靜的萬物中敲響這生命的讚歌。在墓地裏， ROCKY不飲不食，他謝絕了我特意帶給他的一杯熱水，將一塊中國月餅和兩個桔子放在口袋裏帶回家。他告訴我：一是出於對JULITA的尊重；二來減少不必要的上廁所。 ROCKY的故事引起了許多過路人的關注。巡邏的警察，墓地的工作人員，來來往往的行人，許多成了ROCKY的朋友。“他是一位良師益友，是世界上最有感情、最忠實的愛情俠者。”人們給予ROCKY許多的讚美。ROCKY是一位幽默的老人，他講述了一位月下老人穿針引線的事情：LINDA是NEEDHAM SCHOOL的數學老師，常來這裏和ROCKY聊天，並向ROCKY學習西班牙語。當LINDA表示感謝時，ROCKY總是笑著說：“TWO DOLLAR CHARGE。 ”JOHN TOBIN是墓地工作人員，寒冷的冬天為老人送來了毯子護腿。雙方人到中年卻都沒有結婚。ROCKY巧妙地安排倆人在JULITA墓前相會。一年後， 當他們走向婚姻的大殿時，送給ROCKY一封深情的感謝信，裏麵夾著“$2”。一位禁煙屢屢失敗的青年在與ROCKY交談中，領悟到生命的價值，將最後一包煙搗毀在JULITA的墓前。 ROCKY像一根燃燒的蠟燭，溫暖著JULITA，溫暖著許許多多陌生的朋友，也贏得了人間的愛。每次聖誕節前， ROCKY總會收到素不相識的朋友送來的禮物，最多的是防寒服、圍巾、手套、帽子。2000年10月，BOSTON SUNDAY GLOBE和NEW YORK TIMES分別報道了這個動人的真實故事。2001年4月23日是ROCKY 85歲生日，當時屆任總統克林頓夫婦和波士頓市長THOMAS MENINO親自書信祝賀ROCKY 85周歲生日壽辰。這一天美國白宮特地送來一份美國國旗升旗榮譽證書：“THIS FLAG WAS FLOWN FOR ROQUE J. J ABULSOM ON THE OCCATION OF HIS 85TH BIRTHDAY。”ROCKY笑了，久經風霜的臉額露著玩童般的可愛。 認識ROCKY老人是我人生感情又一大收獲。當鄰居楊明勸我去寫這個故事時，我還在懷疑它的真實性，甚至猜測這是一位精神憂鬱症的症狀表現。走近ROCKY，才知道ROCKY是真實的，才相信人世間有這樣恒久的愛。十一年悠悠歲月，漫長的路，人生有一知己足矣！ JULIA，你是幸福的。有ROCKY與你相伴，一起看日出，一起賞日落；在朦朧的晨霧裏陶醉往日相愛的餘溫，在沉默的大地裏彌漫心語和真誠；在陽光的日子裏描繪心情的五彩，在白雪嵦皚的冬眠中期待春天的來臨。天堂與人間，千裏共嬋娟！ 
2004年 11月
今年的雪花格外早戀大地。距感恩節還有兩周，波城內外銀裝素裹，寒冬的幃幕迫不及待地拉開。清晨起來，望著窗外一夜雪觸景生情：“隨風潛入夜，潤物細無聲”。瞬間，漂流的思緒突然凝固在空間的視野裏。此時此刻，我多麽想拜訪一位令我不解、難以置信的高齡老人。我驅車向離家隻有五分鍾遠的墓地園駛去。是他！在那無數座連綿起伏的白色丘堆之中，我再一次目睹了這位老人的異彩：他像一顆青鬆，蒼翠挺拔，迎風傲霜；他像一塊頑石，剛硬堅實，不畏嚴寒。他的名字叫ROQUE，人們叫他“ROKEY”，今年88歲。十一年前，ROCKY的老伴JULITA因患心髒病，手術治療無效，不幸去世，終年75歲，葬於WEST ROXBORY ST. JOSEPH’S CEMETERY。葬禮後的第七天，ROCKY望著風雨交加的黑夜，悲傷至極。一聲雷鳴，喚醒了ROCKY的思維。“我不能把JULITA 獨自一人 留在荒外. .她是孤獨的.。一個人真正的死亡是世上沒有人再會想到他（她），JULIETA沒有死，她在我的心裏。” 從第二天起，ROCKY每日乘坐清晨MBTA Bus 39路轉37路，然後步行8個BLOCKS來到ST. JOSEPH墓地。“JULIA，I AM HERE。YOU ARE PART OF ME，SO HERE I AM WHOLE。”ROCKY習慣性的問候後，便靜靜地坐在墓穴邊，直到下午太陽落山。“JULIA 明天見”ROCKY懷著難舍難分的心情回到自己的公寓。日複一日，整整十一年。ROCKY現在居住的公寓裏仍然保持著JULITA生前所有的一切。冰箱裏放著十一年前JULIA做的PIZZA，桌上有JULITA日用的餐具，窗台上擺著JULITA生前的照片——她藍色的眼睛，黑色的卷發披肩而下。”SHE WAS PURE LOVE。HER BEAUTY WAS A GIFT APART，A REWARD”。ROCKY說JULITA時格外動情。ROCKY和JULITA結婚55周年。青年時，他們相遇在一家咖啡館內。充滿青春活力的ROCKY對美麗的少女JULITA一見鍾情。直到今天ROCKY仍然清楚地記得他們FIRST KISS的日子是SEPT.16，1937年。婚後他們相親相愛，育有一兒一女。兒子ROCQUEJR現住在麻州，女兒ANGELA住在夏威夷，共有五個孫兒和孫女。ROCKY雖已年邁，卻從不依靠兒女，至今仍獨立生活。兒女們對ROCKY的守墓，從不理解到深深地敬佩。在JULITA的墓穴邊，ROCKY不斷地記錄著往事的回憶，一頁頁的手稿裏傾訴著ROCKY對妻子深深的愛：“這是我的家”。ROCKY沒有悲傷，充滿著幸福。他的言談有說有笑，在荒涼的墓穴園裏讓你感受著這個“家”的概念。我留意著這個小小的“家”：一把風吹日曬的折疊椅子，一把退了色的雨傘，一頂草帽。一塊淡紅色的石碑，上半部刻著JULITA的名字和出生到死亡的日期，下半部刻著ROCKY的名字和生日期，留下半行空缺填寫一個將來。顯然這是一個夫妻合穴，有情人生死相依，永不分離。總有一天，ROCKY也會安息在此，與他的JULITA共度天上人間！ JULITA的墓地與眾不同。盛開著的美麗的鮮花、萬聖節的南瓜、迎風飄揚的彩旗、精巧的彩燈裝飾著這個不尋常的“家”。遠處的一棵楓樹上掛著一串風鈴，悅耳動聽，在寧靜的萬物中敲響這生命的讚歌。在墓地裏， ROCKY不飲不食，他謝絕了我特意帶給他的一杯熱水，將一塊中國月餅和兩個桔子放在口袋裏帶回家。他告訴我：一是出於對JULITA的尊重；二來減少不必要的上廁所。 ROCKY的故事引起了許多過路人的關注。巡邏的警察，墓地的工作人員，來來往往的行人，許多成了ROCKY的朋友。“他是一位良師益友，是世界上最有感情、最忠實的愛情俠者。”人們給予ROCKY許多的讚美。ROCKY是一位幽默的老人，他講述了一位月下老人穿針引線的事情：LINDA是NEEDHAM SCHOOL的數學老師，常來這裏和ROCKY聊天，並向ROCKY學習西班牙語。當LINDA表示感謝時，ROCKY總是笑著說：“TWO DOLLAR CHARGE。 ”JOHN TOBIN是墓地工作人員，寒冷的冬天為老人送來了毯子護腿。雙方人到中年卻都沒有結婚。ROCKY巧妙地安排倆人在JULITA墓前相會。一年後， 當他們走向婚姻的大殿時，送給ROCKY一封深情的感謝信，裏麵夾著“$2”。一位禁煙屢屢失敗的青年在與ROCKY交談中，領悟到生命的價值，將最後一包煙搗毀在JULITA的墓前。 ROCKY像一根燃燒的蠟燭，溫暖著JULITA，溫暖著許許多多陌生的朋友，也贏得了人間的愛。每次聖誕節前， ROCKY總會收到素不相識的朋友送來的禮物，最多的是防寒服、圍巾、手套、帽子。2000年10月，BOSTON SUNDAY GLOBE和NEW YORK TIMES分別報道了這個動人的真實故事。2001年4月23日是ROCKY 85歲生日，當時屆任總統克林頓夫婦和波士頓市長THOMAS MENINO親自書信祝賀ROCKY 85周歲生日壽辰。這一天美國白宮特地送來一份美國國旗升旗榮譽證書：“THIS FLAG WAS FLOWN FOR ROQUE J. J ABULSOM ON THE OCCATION OF HIS 85TH BIRTHDAY。”ROCKY笑了，久經風霜的臉額露著玩童般的可愛。 認識ROCKY老人是我人生感情又一大收獲。當鄰居楊明勸我去寫這個故事時，我還在懷疑它的真實性，甚至猜測這是一位精神憂鬱症的症狀表現。走近ROCKY，才知道ROCKY是真實的，才相信人世間有這樣恒久的愛。十一年悠悠歲月，漫長的路，人生有一知己足矣！ JULIA，你是幸福的。有ROCKY與你相伴，一起看日出，一起賞日落；在朦朧的晨霧裏陶醉往日相愛的餘溫，在沉默的大地裏彌漫心語和真誠；在陽光的日子裏描繪心情的五彩，在白雪嵦皚的冬眠中期待春天的來臨。天堂與人間，千裏共嬋娟！
2004年 11月
SUZANNE KREITER/GLOBE STAFF/FILE
Rocky Abalsamo — shown at the grave of his wife, Julia, on Nov. 26, 2000 — died on Jan. 22 at age 97. For many years after his wife of 55 years died in 1993, he spent every day by her side at St. Joseph Cemetery in West Roxbury.
Rocky Abalsamo will never have to leave his wife again.
In December 2000, the Globe told the story of Roque “Rocky” Abalsamo, who spent nearly every day, all day, at the West Roxbury gravesite of his beloved wife, Julia “Julita” Echeverria Abalsamo. Rocky, who was then 84, had kept vigil during the seven years since his wife’s death, in rain and snow, heat and cold, arriving when St. Joseph Cemetery opened and trudging home to his Jamaica Plain apartment when it closed.
Rocky died Jan. 22 at Stonehedge Health Care Center in West Roxbury after several months of declining health, said his daughter, Angela Arai of Hanover. He was 97.
The Globe story propelled Rocky to minor celebrity. It appeared in various forms in The New York Times Magazine, on NPR, in newspapers as far away as China and Poland, and on readers’ bulletin boards and refrigerators. The attention amused Rocky, but all he wanted was to remain close to his wife.
et as teenagers in a cafe in their native Buenos Aires. Rocky was sitting with his back to Julita when he overheard her talking with friends “about the soul, about life, goodness,” Rocky recalled in a November 2000 interview. Even before seeing her face, he decided, “This is for me. I must know her.”
‘We know that he had a wonderful relationship with his wife, and like him, we put the other person first.’
“People no listen, people only see,” he said. “They need to listen, to see what is inside, to be happy.”
He said he fell in love with her “not because she was” – he made the symbol for an hourglass figure with his hands – “but she was,” he added, making the gesture again. “She was pure love. Her beauty was a gift apart, a reward.”
Rocky and Julita Abalsamo in an undated photo. The Buenos Aires natives followed their children to the United States in 1971 and settled in Boston a year later.
They shared a first kiss on Sept. 16, 1937, a date he celebrated annually. They married the following April. After their daughter Angela, they had a son, Roque Jr.
Rocky worked for three decades as a civil engineer while Julita tended their family. They followed their children to the United States in 1971 and settled in Boston a year later.
Rocky and Julita had been married for 55 years when she died in 1993 of complications after heart surgery. Distraught, he began spending his days at St. Joseph Cemetery.
“She is part of me, so here I am whole,” he said. “Being here makes me feel better. Not good, but better. I do it for Julita, and for myself.”
Among the belongings he carried daily to the cemetery was a photograph of a lovely woman with green eyes and dark hair. On the back, she had written: “Today the sky smiles to me. I see you. You look at me. Today I believe in God. With all my love, Julita.”
The Globe’s 2000 story, headlined “Endless Love,” described Rocky’s ritual:
“On cold days Rocky wears a patched and faded green parka. He owns other coats, but Julita knew this one best, so he will not change. He greets Julita — ‘I am here!’ Then he unfolds a blue beach chair — he leaves it every night against her headstone — placing it on a piece of plywood to keep it from sinking into the soft earth. Then Rocky relaxes, reading, writing, and reflecting. For exercise and to keep warm, he walks around nearby headstones engraved Cicciu, St. Clair, Doyle, Galvin, and Daley.
“He rarely eats or drinks, in part out of respect but also so he does not need a bathroom. On special occasions he toasts Julita with sparkling cider; he will do so Dec. 20, her birthday. Some days he brings a cassette player. On one tape they sing together, a Spanish lullaby. Rocky’s strong tenor is answered by Julita’s sweet soprano. Hearing Julita’s voice brings a smile to his face, a mist to his clear blue eyes.
“When dark comes, Rocky prays. He sprinkles crumbs on the grave, so chipmunks will keep Julita company after he has gone. Sadness returning, he says goodbye. He rubs her name on the red granite stone. The ritual has left an indelible mark.”
Over time, what began as a personal act of mourning touched dozens of others who came to the cemetery. Former strangers brought him meals, boots, hats, and scarves, and they decorated Julita’s grave with plants, ceramic angels, flags, and stuffed animals. He told them stories and shared his wisdom about life and love.
One of Rocky’s most regular visitors was Linda Handley, a math teacher in the Needham schools who lived across the street from St. Joseph Cemetery and walked the grounds for exercise. Handley noticed that a groundskeeper named John Tobin also took special care of Rocky. One day while Handley and Rocky were talking, Tobin brought Rocky a pair of sweat pants to wear as an extra layer on cold days. When Tobin left, Handley remarked, “What beautiful blue eyes he has.”
Rocky knew Tobin and Handley were middle-aged and had never married. Rocky arranged to have them visit him at the same time on the 61st anniversary of his first kiss with Julita. Handley and Tobin married a year later, and Rocky took a few hours away from his vigil to attend.
In their wedding program, they wrote: “We are convinced that the miracle of this day is the work of a very special person, Julita Echeverria. . . . We are grateful for the lessons of Dona Julita and her beloved husband and messenger, Don Roque Abalsamo. They have taught us that love is a true blessing and that the virtue of knowing how to give is the staircase to heaven.”
The couple remained close to Rocky in the ensuing years, even after retiring to Cape Cod. “Our marriage was a marriage made in heaven,” Linda said Thursday, “and Rocky is the one who watched over us all these years. He was like our spiritual mentor.”
“We try to model ourselves after Rocky,” she added. “We know that he had a wonderful relationship with his wife, and like him, we put the other person first.”
Rocky continued his daily pilgrimage until 2005, when his son was killed in a car crash in California. Although he still visited Julita’s grave regularly, Rocky spent more time with his surviving family members. “I think he had a realization at that point that we need to let go and we need to continue to live,” his daughter said.
His last visit was in July, before he fell ill.
Angela said her father’s vigil was often difficult for the family. “We always had a fear that something was going to happen to him, that we would find him frozen in the winter,” she said. “We had to let go from our fear so he could live the life he wanted to live.”
“The most special thing about my father was that he lived his life his way,” she added. “He lived one day at a time and enjoyed that day without preoccupations for tomorrow.”
The family planned a graveside service for Rocky, who leaves his daughter, five grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren.
When the Globe story ran in 2000, Rocky’s name and year of birth were already engraved on Julita’s gravestone. Near the end of his life, he told his daughter he wanted to be buried to Julita’s left, just as they had walked together in life. And so Rocky will be buried in the plot next to Julita’s, and they will rest side by side, forever.
