家裏的第三個成員終於按照預定的計劃一天不早一天不晚地降臨了。 2007 年十月某日淩晨女兒在太太預產期的那天順利地出生在美國芝加哥的西北大學醫院。一家人自是歡喜的不得了,雖然女兒即沒有口含藍田美玉,也沒有身帶麒麟金鎖,但全家人都一準兒肯定她會長的和媽媽一樣漂亮,和爸爸一樣聰明。
第一次笨拙地把女兒抱在懷裏的時候,我全身都有些發抖,感到一種少有的神聖和莊嚴。上帝把這個小生命送給我們相依為命必定是有原因的。出院的時候,我抬頭看了看天,我終於將成一個拖家帶口、婆婆媽媽的中年男人了。。。
嶽父嶽母早就等不及在一個月前就來到美國等著孩子的降生,我父母也在孩子出生後幾天趕到。女兒在兩邊家庭都是下一代的第一個,所以一大家人都很激動,幾個老人搶著抱孩子,我和太太隻能在一旁看著。
王朔說過,一個男人對一個女人毫無私心的愛隻存在於父親和女兒之間。女兒的出生對我更多的是心理上的:從此結束了不負責任的生活,餘下的生命將用來毫無怨言地撫養這個孩子。 不知道我會不會是個好父親,但我會努力工作以給她富足寬鬆的生活,不離不棄,一家人永遠幸福地生活在一起。
一家人還在為孩子中文名字的事爭吵不休。正式的英文名字是早就定了的,叫 Norah, 因為我和太太都喜歡 Norah Jones 的恬淡和疏懶。其實這也寄寓了我們對女兒的期望,不指望女兒出人頭地、大紅大紫,倒是希望她能安靜而幸福地生活,比如在學校裏教書或在圖書館工作,遠離商業,遠離政治,遠離急功近利和勾心鬥角。
本想貼張女兒的醜小鴨照片,但想想也不知道她同意不同意,還是作罷。要不我用電子郵件發給你們吧,說不定我把太太的照片也搭上,嗬嗬
以前看見別人寫給初生女兒的信,很感人,但我想了半天也寫不出。抄兩首歌吧,因為說的永遠沒有唱的好聽:
希望
養幾個孩子是我人生的願望
我喜歡他們圍繞在我身旁
如果這紛亂的世界讓我沮喪
我就去看看他們眼中的光芒
總有一天我會越來越忙
還好孩子總是給我 希望
看著他們一天一天成長
我真的忍不住要把夢想對他講
總在他們的身上
看到自己過去的模樣
對自己、對人生、對未來的渴望
他們是我的希望
讓我有繼續的力量
他們是未來的希望
所有的孩子都一樣
他們是未來的希望
但願我能給他一個最像天堂的地方
依稀記得他們出生時的模樣
我和太太眼裏泛著淚光
雖然他長得和我不是很像
但是朋友都說他比我漂亮
毫無意外我真的越來越忙
還好孩子總是給我希望
如果能夠陪著他們一起成長
生命裏就算失去一些別的又怎麽樣
雖然我難免還是會想
這樣的歌很少人會欣賞
這一首歌無關兒女情長
隻獻給我家那兩個可愛的姑娘
他們在我心裏最柔軟的地方
雖然我總是身在遠方
我生命裏美好的一切願留與他們分享
Butterfly Kiss
There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.
Sweet 16 today
She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."
With all that I've done wrong I must have done
something right to deserve her love every morning
and butterfly kisses at night.
All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.
She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"
Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have
done something right.
To deserve your love every morning and butterfly
kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.
I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.