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“If I were in heaven, Nelly, I should be extremely miserable.” “Because you are not fit to go there,” I answered. “All sinners would be miserable in heaven.” “But it is not for that. I dreamt once that I was there.” “I tell you I won’t hearken to your dreams, Miss Catherine! I’ll go to bed,” I interrupted again. She laughed, and held me down; for I made a motion to leave my chair. “This is nothing,” cried she: “I was only going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy. That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other. I’ve no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn’t have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he’s handsome, Nelly, but because he’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton’s is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.” |
“要是我到了天堂，耐莉，我一定會極其痛苦。” “因為你不適合去那個地方，”我答道，“所有的罪人在天堂都會很痛苦。” “可是並非為了這個。有一次我夢見我到了那兒了。” “你給我聽著，我不想聽你的夢，闞思睿小姐！我要上床睡覺啦。”我又打斷了她。 她笑了起來，我要起身離開椅子時，她把我按在椅子上。 “這並沒什麽，”她大聲叫道，“我隻是想說天堂看起來似乎並不是我的家。於是我就哭了起來，哭得心都碎了，我要回到塵世。天使們因此惱羞成怒，他們把我扔到呼嘯山莊上的石楠叢中。隨後我就醒過來了，高興得哭了起來。這下就可以解釋我內心的秘密了，以及另外一個秘密。和去天堂相比，我並不熱衷於要嫁給愛德嘉•林騰。如果那邊那個惡人不把黑思克裏夫貶得這麽低，我還不會想到這個。現在，嫁給黑思克裏夫就會降低我的身分，所以他永遠也不會知道我多麽愛他；那並不是因為他有多帥，耐莉，而是因為和我相比，他更像是我自己。無論是什麽原料造就了我倆的靈魂，我倆的靈魂一模一樣；而林騰的靈魂好像月光不同於閃電，或者冰霜不同於烈火那樣。” |
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Ere this speech ended I became sensible of Heathcliff’s presence. Having noticed a slight movement, I turned my head, and saw him rise from the bench, and steal out noiselessly. He had listened till he heard Catherine say it would degrade her to marry him, and then he stayed to hear no further. My companion, sitting on the ground, was prevented by the back of the settle from remarking his presence or departure; but I started, and bade her hush! “Why?” she asked, gazing nervously round. “Joseph is here,” I answered, catching opportunely the roll of his cartwheels up the road; “and Heathcliff will come in with him. I’m not sure whether he were not at the door this moment.” “Oh, he couldn’t overhear me at the door!” said she. “Give me Hareton, while you get the supper, and when it is ready ask me to sup with you. I want to cheat my uncomfortable conscience, and be convinced that Heathcliff has no notion of these things. He has not, has he? He does not know what being in love is!” “I see no reason that he should not know, as well as you,” I returned; “and if you are his choice, he’ll be the most unfortunate creature that ever was born! As soon as you become Mrs. Linton, he loses friend, and love, and all! Have you considered how you’ll bear the separation, and how he’ll bear to be quite deserted in the world? Because, Miss Catherine—” |
她的這段話還沒說完，我發覺黑思克裏夫在場。我注意到了一個細微動作，回過頭，看見他從凳子上站了身來，悄默聲響地偷偷溜了出去。他一直聽到闞思睿說嫁給他就會降低她的身分，就沒再留下來繼續聽她講。闞思睿坐在地上，視線被高背長靠椅的椅背擋著，她既沒看到他剛才在這兒，也沒看見他離開。可是我吃了一驚，叫她別說話。 “為啥？”她問道，緊張地向四周張望。 “周思福來了，”我答道，恰好聽到周思福的車輪在路上隆隆的聲音，“黑思克裏夫會跟他進來。我不能擔保他這會兒在不在門口。” “啊，他不會在門口偷聽我的！”她說，“把海瑞騰給我，你去準備晚飯，弄好了叫上我一塊吃。我情願昧著良心，盡管這並不好受，而且也深信黑思克裏夫不會想到這些事。他不會，對吧？他不知道愛情到底是什麽吧？” “我看不出你有何理由說他不跟你一樣了解愛情是什麽。”我答道，“如果他選了你，他就會成為世上命最苦的人。你一旦成了林騰太太，他就失去了朋友、失去了愛情，失去了一切！你考慮過嗎？你將怎樣承受這場分離，他又將怎樣承受被人拋棄在這個世上？因為，闞思睿小姐——”
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“He quite deserted! we separated!” she exclaimed, with an accent of indignation. “Who is to separate us, pray? They’ll meet the fate of Milo! Not as long as I live, Ellen: for no mortal creature. Every Linton on the face of the earth might melt into nothing before I could consent to forsake Heathcliff. Oh, that’s not what I intend—that’s not what I mean! I shouldn’t be Mrs. Linton were such a price demanded! He’ll be as much to me as he has been all his lifetime. Edgar must shake off his antipathy, and tolerate him, at least. He will, when he learns my true feelings towards him. Nelly, I see now you think me a selfish wretch; but did it never strike you that if Heathcliff and I married, we should be beggars? whereas, if I marry Linton I can aid Heathcliff to rise, and place him out of my brother’s power.” “With your husband’s money, Miss Catherine?” I asked. “You’ll find him not so pliable as you calculate upon: and, though I’m hardly a judge, I think that’s the worst motive you’ve given yet for being the wife of young Linton.” |
“他被人拋棄！我們分開！”她喊道，聲音充滿了憤慨。“敢問，誰能把我們分開？他們要遭到米羅的命運！隻要我還活著，愛蕾——我看哪個活人敢把我們分開？即使世上林騰家的每個人都化為烏有，我也不會答應拋棄黑思克裏夫。啊，我可不想要這樣——這不是我的意思！如果要付出這樣的代價，我寧願不作林騰太太！他這後半生對於我，就和他現在對於我一樣地珍貴。愛德嘉必須得消除對黑思克裏夫的反感，而且至少要包容他。愛德嘉知道了我對黑思克裏夫的真情實感後就會包容他。耐莉，現在我明白了，你以為我是個隻顧自己的自輕自賤之人。可是你難道從來沒想到，如果黑思克裏夫和我結婚了，我們就得去討飯嗎？而我要是嫁給了林騰，我就能幫助黑思克裏夫發跡，並且把他安排到我哥哥管不著的位置。” “用你丈夫的錢，闞思睿小姐？”我問道，“你會發現他可不是你算計的那樣聽你的話。而且雖然我這個斷言本不當講，但我認為你要是出於這樣的動機去給林騰少爺當媳婦，這簡直是糟糕透頂。” |
