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Finally it occurred to me that I would call as though nothing had happened, and send a message in by the maid asking Mrs. Strickland if it was convenient for her to see me. This would give her the opportunity to send me away. But I was overwhelmed with embarrassment when I said to the maid the phrase I had prepared, and while I waited for the answer in a dark passage I had to call up all my strength of mind not to bolt. The maid came back. Her manner suggested to my excited fancy a complete knowledge of the domestic calamity. "Will you come this way, sir?" she said. I followed her into the drawing-room. The blinds were partly drawn to darken the room, and Mrs. Strickland was sitting with her back to the light. Her brother-in-law, Colonel MacAndrew, stood in front of the fireplace, warming his back at an unlit fire. To myself my entrance seemed excessively awkward. I imagined that my arrival had taken them by surprise, and Mrs. Strickland had let me come in only because she had forgotten to put me off. I fancied that the Colonel resented the interruption. |
最後我想了個辦法，我就裝作若無其事去拜訪她，先叫女仆通報一聲，詢問司太太是否方便見我一麵。這樣可以給她個機會把我打發走了事。但在我給女仆說完提前備好的套詞時，我感到相當局促不安。黑暗過道中等候回話時，我隻得鼓起全身勇氣才沒有打退堂鼓。女仆從屋裏走了出來。可能是我神情激動，胡思亂想的緣故，她的舉止分明表示她已經完全知道這家人所遭的禍事了。 “先生，請這邊來，好嗎？”她說道。 我尾隨其後來到客廳。窗簾沒有完全拉開，室內光線顯得暗淡。司太太正背對著光坐在那裏。司太太的姐夫麥上校站在壁爐前，烤著自己的後背，壁爐中已經看不到火苗。對我而言，就這樣走進來似乎過於尷尬。我猜想我的到來一定令他們大吃一驚，司太太之所以讓我進來，隻是因為她已經忘記通知我推遲見麵的日子。我想象著上校一定對我的突然闖入非常生氣。 |
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"I wasn't quite sure if you expected me," I said, trying to seem unconcerned. "Of course I did. Anne will bring the tea in a minute." Even in the darkened room, I could not help seeing that Mrs. Strickland's face was all swollen with tears. Her skin, never very good, was earthy. "You remember my brother-in-law, don't you? You met at dinner, just before the holidays." We shook hands. I felt so shy that I could think of nothing to say, but Mrs. Strickland came to my rescue. She asked me what I had been doing with myself during the summer, and with this help I managed to make some conversation till tea was brought in. The Colonel asked for a whisky-and-soda. "You'd better have one too, Amy," he said. "No; I prefer tea." |
“我不太確定，你是否等著我今天來，”我說道，試圖讓人看上去好像漫不經心的樣子。 “我當然在等你今天來。安妮稍後會把茶端上來。” 盡管房間光線暗淡，我禁不住看到司太太已是淚流滿麵，兩眼腫脹。她的膚色本來一直不是很好，如今變得麵如土色了。 “你還記得我姐夫吧？度假之前我們一起共進晚餐時，你和他見過麵。” 我和她姐夫握了握手。我感覺臊得慌，想不出該和他說點啥。但司太太過來替我解了圍。她問我這個夏天自己都幹了些什麽營生。有了她的這個提示幫助，我終於設法找出了一些聊天話題，一直聊到女仆把茶端了上來。上校要了一杯威士忌加汽水。 “你最好也來一杯，愛媚，”他說道。 “不了，我喜歡喝茶。” |
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This was the first suggestion that anything untoward had happened. I took no notice, and did my best to engage Mrs. Strickland in talk. The Colonel, still standing in front of the fireplace, uttered no word. I wondered how soon I could decently take my leave, and I asked myself why on earth Mrs. Strickland had allowed me to come. There were no flowers, and various knick-knacks, put away during the summer, had not been replaced; there was something cheerless and stiff about the room which had always seemed so friendly; it gave you an odd feeling, as though someone were lying dead on the other side of the wall. I finished tea. "Will you have a cigarette?" asked Mrs. Strickland. She looked about for the box, but it was not to be seen. "I'm afraid there are none." Suddenly she burst into tears, and hurried from the room. |
這是第一個暗示，說明不幸之事已經發生。我不予理睬，使出渾身解數同司太太聊天。上校仍在壁爐前站著，一語不發。我琢磨著何時告辭才算是不失禮數，我撫心自問，司太太究竟為何讓我進屋。屋內沒有擺放花卉，夏季期間已經收起來的各種裝飾品還沒有重新擺上。過去這裏的氣氛一直溫馨舒適，而如今卻顯得有些了無生趣，呆滯冷清；它給人一種異樣的感覺，仿佛隔牆有個死人正躺在那兒。此刻我剛把茶喝完。 “要來支煙嗎？”司太太問道。 她四下裏張望著找煙盒，卻沒看到。 “我恐怕沒有煙了。” 突然，她淚水奪眶而出，匆忙跑出客廳。 |
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I was startled. I suppose now that the lack of cigarettes, brought as a rule by her husband, forced him back upon her recollection, and the new feeling that the small comforts she was used to were missing gave her a sudden pang. She realised that the old life was gone and done with. It was impossible to keep up our social pretences any longer. "I dare say you'd like me to go," I said to the Colonel, getting up. "I suppose you've heard that blackguard has deserted her," he cried explosively. I hesitated. |
我大吃一驚。我在想現在她突然發現家裏香煙短缺，過去這本來通常是由她丈夫準備，這下把她丈夫強行拽回到她的記憶中，她習慣於觸手可得的生活用品現在不見了，這種新的感覺猛然使她感到一陣劇痛。她意識到往日的生活已經一去不複返。不可能再繼續保持我們那種社交來往的場麵了。 “我敢說你並希望我呆在這兒，”我站起身來對上校說道。 “我想你已聽說了，那個二流子拋棄了她，”他大聲吼道，像是吃了槍藥一樣。 我遲疑片刻。 |
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"You know how people gossip," I answered. "I was vaguely told that something was wrong." "He's bolted. He's gone off to Paris with a woman. He's left Amy without a penny." "I'm awfully sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say. The Colonel gulped down his whisky. He was a tall, lean man of fifty, with a drooping moustache and grey hair. He had pale blue eyes and a weak mouth. I remembered from my previous meeting with him that he had a foolish face, and was proud of the fact that for the ten years before he left the army he had played polo three days a week. "I don't suppose Mrs. Strickland wants to be bothered with me just now," I said. "Will you tell her how sorry I am? If there's anything I can do. I shall be delighted to do it." He took no notice of me. |
“你知道流言蜚語是如何傳開的，”我答道，“有人支支吾吾對我說，出事了。” “他竄逃了。和個女人一起去了巴黎。他把愛媚丟下，一個子也沒給她留。” “我感到很難過，”我說道，不知道還能說些什麽為好。 上校一口吞下杯中的威士忌。他身材修長，骨瘦如柴，正值天命，八字胡須，向下垂著，頭發灰白。他的那雙眼睛呈灰藍色，嘴巴看上去鬆鬆垮垮。上次見到他時我就記得他一臉傻樣，他自己吹噓說他退伍之前每周打三次馬球，十年從未間斷過。 “我想現在我不必再打攪司太太了，”我說道，“你能告訴她，就說我很為她感到難過？如果有我力所能及的事，我很高興為她效勞。” 對我所說的話，他不加理睬。 |
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"I don't know what's to become of her. And then there are the children. Are they going to live on air? Seventeen years." "What about seventeen years?" "They've been married," he snapped. "I never liked him. Of course he was my brother-in-law, and I made the best of it. Did you think him a gentleman? She ought never to have married him." "Is it absolutely final?" "There's only one thing for her to do, and that's to divorce him. That's what I was telling her when you came in. 'Fire in with your petition, my dear Amy,' I said. 'You owe it to yourself and you owe it to the children.' He'd better not let me catch sight of him. I'd thrash him within an inch of his life." I could not help thinking that Colonel MacAndrew might have some difficulty in doing this, since Strickland had struck me as a hefty fellow, but I did not say anything. It is always distressing when outraged morality does not possess the strength of arm to administer direct chastisement on the sinner. I was making up my mind to another attempt at going when Mrs. Strickland came back. She had dried her eyes and powdered her nose. |
“我不知道她今後的日子將會是什麽樣子。還有兩個孩子。他們去喝西北風生活嗎？十七年啊！” “什麽十七年？” “他們結婚已經有十七年了，”他怒氣衝衝地說道。“我從未喜歡過他。當然，我和他是挑擔，我盡量容忍著。你覺著他算是個君子嗎？她根本就不該嫁給他。” “這事絕對無法挽回了嗎？” “她現在隻有一件事需要做，就是和他離婚。你剛才進來時，我正在給她說的就是這件事。‘親愛的愛媚，請提出離婚申請，’我說，‘你這是虧欠了你自己，也虧欠了兩個孩子。’最好別讓我看見那個家夥，否則我非得把他打得隻剩半口氣不可。”我禁不住想，麥上校做這件事有些難度，因為司查爾身強體壯，這是他給我的印象，但我並沒有接麥上校的話茬。一個道德品性端正的人遭到暴行淩辱，卻無力對施暴的罪人施行直接懲罰，這實在是令人痛苦不堪。我正下定決心試圖再次向他告辭，這時司太太回到了客廳。她已經把眼淚擦幹，並補了補妝。 |
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"I'm sorry I broke down," she said. "I'm glad you didn't go away." She sat down. I did not at all know what to say. I felt a certain shyness at referring to matters which were no concern of mine. I did not then know the besetting sin of woman, the passion to discuss her private affairs with anyone who is willing to listen. Mrs. Strickland seemed to make an effort over herself. "Are people talking about it?" she asked. I was taken aback by her assumption that I knew all about her domestic misfortune. "I've only just come back. The only person I've seen is Rose Waterford." Mrs. Strickland clasped her hands. "Tell me exactly what she said." And when I hesitated, she insisted. "I particularly want to know." "You know the way people talk. She's not very reliable, is she? She said your husband had left you." "Is that all?" I did not choose to repeat Rose Waterford's parting reference to a girl from a tea-shop. I lied. "She didn't say anything about his going with anyone?" "No." "That's all I wanted to know." I was a little puzzled, but at all events I understood that I might now take my leave. When I shook hands with Mrs. Strickland I told her that if I could be of any use to her I should be very glad. She smiled wanly. "Thank you so much. I don't know that anybody can do anything for me." Too shy to express my sympathy, I turned to say good-bye to the Colonel. He did not take my hand. "I'm just coming. If you're walking up Victoria Street, I'll come along with you." "All right," I said. "Come on." |
“對不起，我剛上失態了，”她說道，“我很高興你並沒離開。” 她坐了下來。我壓根不知道該說些什麽才好。談論同自己毫不相幹的事，在某種程度上我有些害羞。那時我還不懂女人積重難返的劣習——隻要有人原意傾聽，她就迫不及待地和人家談論起自己的私事。司太太似乎在努力克製著自己。 “大家都在議論這件事嗎？”她問道。 我非常吃驚，她竟想當然地認為，我對她的家庭禍事了如指掌。 “我隻是剛剛回來。在此之前我見過的隻有沃玫瑰一個人。” 司太太雙手緊扣在一起。 “你告訴我，她原話究竟是怎麽說的。”我正遲疑著，她卻堅持要我說。“我特別想知道。” “你知道大家背後怎麽議論人。她這人說話不是很靠譜，對不對？她說你丈夫已經離開了你。” “就這些？” 沃玫瑰剛才離開時提到茶館年輕姑娘的那句話，我決定不複述給她聽。於是我對她扯了個謊。 “她就沒說他是跟什麽人一塊走的？” “沒有。” “我想知道的就是這些。” 我有些迷惑不解，但無論如何我明白現在我該告辭了。 當我同司太太握手告別時我對她說，如果有任何事需要我幫忙，我一定樂意效勞。她麵色蒼白，淡淡地笑了一笑。 “非常感謝。我不知道有誰能為我做什麽事。” 我太過靦腆，無法表達惻隱之心，便轉身去同上校告別。上校並沒與我握手。 “我也要走。如果你走維多利亞路，我跟你同路。” “好吧，”我說道，“咱們一起走。” |
