情緒（感情）虐待的行為模式

來源： 由 禦樹林楓 轉載 來源：Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

情緒虐待總是跟身體被毆打連在一起，大多數情況毆打在先。蓄意的重覆的情緒虐待能嚴重地影響受害者對自我和現實的感覺。下列是虐待者使用在伴侶身上的情緒虐待行為：

• 虐待者常常針對婦女的習慣和毛病有敵意地開玩笑
• 不顧受害者的感受
• 以不表示同意作為一種懲罰
• 大聲呼喝受害者
• 用很侮辱性的字句給受害者標簽：發瘋、賤人、笨蛋
• 重覆地針對受害者講一連串的侮辱說話，為要造成對受害者最大的心理損害
• 在家庭成員和其他人麵前重覆地羞辱受害者
• 在社交上甚至地理上孤立受害者（比如，把受害者遷移到偏遠的地點）
• 虐待者把自己所有的麻煩和失敗都歸咎受害者
• 恐嚇要對受害者、孩子或其他家人報複和使用暴力
• 踐踏受害者作為母親、情人、工人、等等的能力
• 要求受害者隨時候命並對孩子常表現忿恨不滿
• 把他自己的婚外性生活告訴受害者
• 經常控訴她有婚外情，即使她根本沒有意慾或自由去作那些事
• 給受害者 “敵意的靜默”
• 威脅要虐待孩子和/或領取他們的監管權
• 告訴受害者跟隨他，因為她需要他，並且她無法自己生活
• 指責受害者使用暴力，如果她以任何方式保護自己
• 質疑她的感覺是否真實
• 強迫她在經濟上依靠他：他妨礙她取得工作，禁止她找工作或使她的生活非常混亂以致被開除，和/或 把她的錢拿走
• 踐踏或否定受害者的曆史、傳統遺產、信念、價值
• 撞打牆壁（不是打她）去展示力量
• 毀壞對她有情感價值的個人物品去表示他也能毀壞她
• 恐嚇要折磨或殺害她的/他們的愛畜
• 威脅要自殺如果受害者不跟他一起或從他心願
• 花很多時間在受害者麵前清潔槍械或刀子
• 恐嚇要殺她或她的孩子
• 破壞受害者的自尊

Emotional abuse always accompanies, and in most cases precedes, physical battering. Targeted, repeated emotional abuse can severely affect the victim's sense of self and of reality. Here is a list of emotionally abusive behaviors abusers use against their partners:

• Abuser makes hostile jokes about the habits and faults of women
  
• Ignores the victim's feelings
  
• Withholds approval as a form of punishment
  
• Yells at the victim
  
• Labels the victim with generally insulting terms: crazy, bitch, stupid
  
• Repeatedly delivers a series of insults specific to the victim and designed to inflict maximum psychological damage

• Repeatedly humiliates the victim in front of family members and others
  
• Isolates the victim socially, perhaps geographically as well (for example, by moving the family to a remote location)
  
• Blames the victim for all the abuser's troubles and failures
  
• Threatens physical violence and retaliation against the victim, children or other family members
  
• Puts down the victim's abilities as a mother, lover, worker, etc
  
• Demands all the victim's attention and resents the children

• Tells the victim about his sexual affairs
  
• Constantly accuses her of having affairs, even when she does not have the desire or freedom to have affairs
  
• Gives the victim the "silent treatment"
  
• Threatens to abuse the children and/or get custody of them
  
• Tells the victim she must stay with him because she needs him and she couldn't make it without him
  
• Accuses the victim of being violent if she acts in any way to protect herself

• Questions her sense of reality
  
• Forces economic dependency: He prevents the victim from working - either by forbidding her to get a job or by making her life so chaotic that she gets fired - and/or he takes her money
  
• Puts down or denies the victim's history, heritage, faith, values
  
• Hits the wall, not her, to display his power
  
• Breaks personal items that have sentimental value to her as a message that he can break her too

• Threatens, tortures or kills her/their pets
  
• Threatens suicide if the victim doesn't stay with him or do what he wants
  
• Spends hours cleaning guns or knives in front of the victim
  
• Threatens to kill her or her children
  
• Destroys victim's self esteem
  
  
  
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