對家暴說不
普及關於家暴的心理以及法律知識，澄清家暴的心理與法律誤區，幫助受家暴荼毒的姐妹，推動國內關於家暴的立法。
正文
翻譯：禦樹林楓
作為證據，你應當把能幫助你呈示家庭暴力發生過的任何東西和任何人帶到法庭上。也許是聽見你呼叫求助，看見你在流血或是你有青腫的鄰居，朋友或親戚。如果你有醫生或醫院治傷的醫療證明，你應當帶上。 警方報告也是重要證據。
能顯示青腫或其他可視傷痕的相片（傷處可以特寫， 但至少一張要有你的臉—譯者注）也是最有力證據之一。有些地區，警察會帶著一個相機；或急診室工作人員也能照相。在身體傷害幾天後再照相片也是好主意，因為青腫要過幾天顯示。如有可能，相片上最好有日期。
證人對於你的案子很重要，但是最重要的是你對法官說什麽。事先準備你要說的內容；把這些內容寫下來是個好方法。要做一個關於你希望法庭為你做什麽和保護令上要包括什麽的清單。這個清單應該包括你所需要的能幫助你停止暴力和使你安全的事項。同時法官可以幫你做的事情有：
• 通告施暴者離開和遠離你的家、你的工作、你的朋友或親戚。
• 指示施暴者不能通過電話、信件或通過其他人傳話來接觸你。
• 命令施暴者遠離孩子和照看孩子的人、幼兒園或學校。
• 要求警察陪你回家拿個人用品。
• 決定有關撫養權、探訪和子女撫養費的議項。
• 命令施暴者支付有關虐待的費用如醫護、財產損失等等。
• 決定有關特定財產的分割的議項。
法官也可以命令施暴者去進行打人者介入調停計劃（Batterers Intervention Program）和/或酒精或毒品治療。然而，即使他停止喝酒或用毒品，這不意味著施虐就會停止。即使他同意去得到有關幫助，你仍應要求擁有保護令。
準備解釋為什麽你需要各種你想得到的支援。如果你要求施暴者支付你的費用，帶著賬單、收據或其他顯示這些費用的證明。
聽證會當天你一定要出庭。你到場，法官才能發給你保護令。如果你沒出現，法官會撤消案子，你就要重新開始。如果你有原因以至你在聽證會當天不能出庭，馬上給法院文員打電話並且作出解釋。要求案例持續（CONTINUANCE）並且解釋為什麽你需要案例持續。聽證會將會定在另一天。
Getting The Evidence Together
http://www.domesticviolence.com/evidence.html
As evidence, you should bring to court whatever and whomever can help you show that the violence took place. Maybe a neighbor, a friend or relative heard you call for help or saw that you were bleeding or bruised. If you have medical records from a doctor or hospital that treated your injuries, you should bring them. A police report can also be important evidence.
One of the strongest pieces of evidence you can have is a photo of yourself that shows bruises or other visible injuries. In some areas, the police carry instant cameras and will take a picture of your injuries, or someone working in an emergency room can take a picture. It's a good idea to have pictures taken again a few days after a physical assault as it sometimes takes a while for bruises to show up. If possible, it is best to get film that has a date on it.
While witnesses strengthen your case, the most important evidence is what you tell the judge. Going over what you plan to say ahead of time and writing it down is a good way to prepare. Make a list of things you would like the court to do for you and specifically ask the judge to include those things in the Order of Protection. The list should include things you need to help stop the violence and make you safe. Among other things the judge can:
• Tell the abuser to leave and stay away from your home, your job, your family or friends;
• Direct the abuser to have no contact with you meaning no phone calls, letters or messages through other people;
• Order the abuser to stay away from the children, their baby-sitter, day care or schools;
• Require the police to accompany you into your home to retrieve personal belongings;
• Decide issues related to custody, visitation and child support;
• Order your abuser to pay for expenses related to the abuse such as medical care, property damage, etc;
• Decide issues related to dividing up certain kinds of personal property.
The judge can also order your partner to go to a Batterers Intervention Program and/or to alcohol or drug treatment, However, even if he stops drinking or using drugs or goes to a batterers program, it doesn't necessarily mean that the abuse will stop. Even if he agrees to get help, you may still want to have an Order of Protection.
Be prepared to explain why you need each type of relief you want. If you are asking that your abuser pay for your expenses, bring bills, receipts or other proof to show what these expenses were.
YOU MUST APPEAR IN COURT ON THE DATE SET FOR THE HEARING. The judge cannot issue an Order of Protection unless you are there. It you don't show up, he or she may dismiss the case and you would have to start all over again. If there is a reason that you can't come to court on the hearing date, call the clerk right away and explain. Ask for a CONTINUANCE and explain why you need it. The hearing will be set for another date.
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相關文章鏈接
尊嚴這東西 怎能因為環境的改變而喪失？
“對家暴說不”群組鏈接【遭遇家暴的姐妹們，以及反家暴自願人士，例如社會工作者（SOCIAL WORKERS），律師，婦聯幹部、人大代表或者你們認識這樣的人，請自薦或者向她們推薦我們的群組和博客，期待你們加入此組，與我們一起並肩工作。請點擊此處申請入組。】請認準原創防偽圖標（如下圖紅色底板黑色字體的“對家暴說不”題圖），以及查對核實此群組管理員名單（漢代蜜瓜，尋ME，老姐，花雨101，Youshijie，隨意了，piao11，小泥山......等）。謝謝！
點擊圖標即可申請！
你問了個好問題，真的。
冷暴力是一種感情虐待：不同於肢體暴力，取證難，界定難，定性更難。我查閱了些資料，還沒有很滿意的答案。很感謝你提示了一個努力方向。
從我目前掌握的資料來說，可以有以下方案：
首先，建議去看醫生，把感受告訴他/她。如果醫生做了記錄，並且推薦去谘詢（counseling）等，這可以作為證據。如果給National Domestic Violence Helpline （1-800-799-SAVE）打了電話, 並且允許電話錄音，錄音包含如何被配偶的行為所影響，這也能稱作證據。可以通過給熱線經理（helpline manager）寫信來獲取這些記錄---但是電話記錄隻保存一年。我的博客裏有全美加Local家暴熱線（避難所）的匯總網頁。
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201107&postID=24490
開始把所經曆的感情虐待記錄下來也許有用。記下時間和日期，說了什麽，他/她傷害了你什麽，是否有其他人在場。保留帶虐待性質的文字短信（abusive text messages），電子郵件或語音短信（voicemail messages）；因為當和律師討論時，這些信息會真正有幫助。
如果其他人看見任何感情虐待，那麽他們的證詞也會被用到。
另外一些資料表明錄音、錄像證據已被法院認可—這還需根據當地法律進一步確認。
我一般要找到8篇以上“合格”資料，才敢寫些東西貼到群組來，或者選一篇轉載或翻譯。以上信息根據我現有的有限相關資料翻譯、整理而來。不做權威發言，僅供參考。希望有用。
也希望有相關知識和資料的網友通過悄悄話或留言的方式，對我們給予支持。 謝謝。
youli，再次感謝你的評論。
飄姐姐過獎了。能為深受家暴荼毒的受害者提供一些信息，為反家暴盡一份綿力，實屬榮幸；這也是我的社會責任和義務。
法庭不是去講理的地方，是去擺證據的地方。拿證據說話，這是司法公正性的體現。
既然去法庭了，那就得為自己和孩子爭取多一些利益，證據是法官依法執法的依據，這些平常不在意的“人、物證”等，一旦呈上法庭，很大程度上就是贏得官司的關鍵。
再謝林妹妹。