湖邊小雷-lakeshore
Readings & Translations
漢詩英譯,徐誌摩詩 一首試譯 ( 續 )
A Chinese modern poem, 《我等候你》 by Xu, Zhi-Muo, (try to match the verse, …. )
徐誌摩的情詩是他愛情生活的留痕 , 《我等候你》是他對陸小曼癡情的見證。 Love poetry mirrors poet's love in life. " I will wait for you, or I want you so" sang evidently his deepest love to the Lady -Lu Xiao Man.
這首詩不僅體現了徐誌摩的愛情觀、生活觀 , 即追求愛、自由與美 ; 也體現了他的藝術觀 , 即詩歌的目的不是表現政治理想 , 而是抒發內心情感。 The poem reflects not only the love he held, his belief, his dreaming for love, freedom and beauty but also his artistic view: poetry expresses no ideals of ideologies, but the emotions and feelings from the deepened-inside.
這首詩按情感的自然流動分行 , 不講究壓韻和格式的整齊 , 具有濃厚的散文風格 , 同時兼具繪畫美與音樂美 , 被認為是他最好的一首抒情詩之一 . Readers see the beauty of his poem from its aesthetic value depicted with unique style that flow so naturally, elegantly, and smoothly with his innate passion, which leads him obeying no formalities and rules in general. The essay-like style amazed numerous readers and many alike. This particular romantic poem, among his admirers home and abroad, was considered his best.
( 續 譯自上文: 北美文學城 麗人博客 璐娜 )
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=200801&postID=41538
我等候你 , by 徐誌摩
( 一語習譯）
我等候你
Waiting, with my soul ( I wait for you?)
我望著窗外的昏黃
Looking, out of window, sunset, yellow
如同望著將來
Longing, was I, as if for the fate to be told
我的心震盲了我的聽
Yet, I could feel, only from my heart,
the vibrancy, it's echo
你怎還不來
Or was that your voice, (steps?) quite n slow
希望在每一秒鍾上允許開花
In mere seconds, let all (it?) bloom, bold
我守候著你的步履
Waiting, was me n my soul
你的笑語你的臉
I vision thy face tender as spring's rose
(fresh?) (in springtime?)
你的柔軟的發絲
Smiles in thy eyes, your hair in my fingers,
I hold (smell rose?)
Curly n' softly, O le' amour
守候著你的一切
You and me, Soul to soul, (two, in soul?)
in whole ( a world )
希望在每一秒鍾上
枯死 ── 你在哪裏？
The time's hands hang my dreams n hope
aimlessly in sadness n dry
Round and round points nowhere.
I will wait for you,
我要你，要得我心裏生痛，
我要你火焰似的笑，
要你靈活的腰身，
你的發上眼角的飛星；
我陷落在迷醉的氛圍中，
像一座島，
在蟒綠的海濤間，不自主的在浮沉 ……
It's burning, it's the fire,
In my heart, there is hole, I want you so
In your eye, there is smile, I want you so
Like the stars in the night n fly
Your figures and voice, that I adore,
in dances and singing, n in all
A lone island, in the deepest green, waves flow
my heart, locked by, and in the lakes I hide
喔，我迫切的想望
你的來臨，想望
那一朵神奇的優曇
開上時間的頂尖！
你為什麽不來，忍心的！
你明知道，我知道你知道，
你這不來於我是致命的一擊，
打死我生命中乍放的陽春，
教堅實如礦裏的鐵的黑暗，
壓迫我的思想與呼吸；
Oh, I will wait for you, I want you so,
It's urgent, and it's my only hope
It's not a cloud, normal, No,
It's beyond the time or mortal,
but an unknown, like a miracle
You knew, I want you so
I know you knew, I want you so
You will come, in dream,
Like sunrises to be covered by a joke
If not so, my heart and soul, as though
to be canned, shipped, and sold
打死可憐的希冀的嫩芽，
把我，囚犯似的，交付給
妒與愁苦，生的羞慚與絕望的慘酷。
這也許是癡。
竟許是癡。
我信我確然是癡；
Fresh as the new life on leaves of the tree,
Please, don't put my heart and soul in jail
locked into darkness, a lonely soul behind the iron face
Craziness, insanity, Oh, as if not,
I believe so
但我不能轉撥一支已然定向的舵，
萬方的風息都不容許我猶豫 ──
我不能回頭，運命驅策著我！
我也知道這多半是走向毀滅的路，
但為了你，為了你，我什麽都甘願；
When the ship out for sail, n an arrow
fly away from the bow
Driven by the fate, sad n sorrow
towards end of the road, though
I know, it's death and hell
I will wait for you, still
I 'm waiting for you n want you so
I will wait for you, with my soul
這不僅我的熱情，
我的僅有理性亦如此說。
癡！想磔碎一個生命的纖維
為要感動一個女人的心！
想博得的，能博得的，至多是
她的一滴淚，她的一聲漠然的冷笑；
但我也甘願，即使
我粉身的消息傳給
一塊頑石，她把我看作
一隻地穴裏的鼠，一條蟲，
A voice in side, not the lust says so
with all my wit and will, no
I am nothing, just search my soul
( for her ) a drop of tear n a smile pretty, n cold
I will, I want you so
Let the rock smash my mail
Let my feeling crow, like warm in earth hole
我還是甘願！
癡到了真，是無條件的，
上帝也無法調回一個癡定了的心
如同一個將軍有時調回已上死線的士兵。
I will wait you, ( Cz' ) I want you still
Mad, I am, it's unconditional
A heart dies away, speed, n God says NO!
Can they return from death to home, a soldier or a general
枉然，一切都是枉然，
你的不來是不容否認的實在，
雖則我心裏燒著潑旺的火，
饑渴著你的一切，
你的發，你的笑，你的手腳；
任何的癡想與祈禱
不能縮短一小寸 你我間的距離！
Waste, all, impossible
Still, in my sight, you didn't show, down the road
It's burning, it's the fire
Thirst, to you, all, I will wait you
I want you so
your hair-do, smiles, your toe
I squeeze all my words of praying
I cut the distance between me and you
戶外的昏黃已然
凝聚成夜的烏黑，
樹枝上掛著冰雪，
鳥雀們典去了它們的啁啾，
沉默是這一致穿孝的宇宙。
鍾上的針不斷的比著
玄妙的手勢，像是指點，
像是同情，像的嘲諷，
每一次到點的打動，我聽來是
我自己的心的
活埋的喪鍾。
Already, sunset, smoky yellow
Look, the dark night, that glow
Waiting for you, till the ice turned from snow
Waiting for you, till the birds singing weakened and low
Universe, covered by the silence, like a black coat
Hands of times change, not my poem
as if pity, or to signal like a joke
When it strikes the time,
yet, on my soul, it stroke
so heavily, n so deadly, a blow
Completed
新年一語: I posted a part of this poem earlier this year, but now,
when the Lunar Chinese New Year is just around corner, i would post it to share with all:
Sunday, February 03, 2008 - 約翰,雷Shaw
You can reach him at:
lakeshore_viewer_2008@yahoo.cn (China)
john.canjourno.2008@gmail.com ( International )
I did not know him and his poem much. I read somewhere he was born in southern China, educated in British. Among few earlier learners in Europe, He, as i read later, enjoyed great reputation in Chinese Love Poem. The translation of his poem, i have not read many, but recently by listening some of the music from Luna's post gave me a lot of inspiration. As to the Translation quality, to be honest, i am really not sure, but if you say so, i feel greatly at ease, and i will be happy if you could advise any good one that we may both enjoy. I read your posts quite often, and look forward to hear you more.
Lakeshore, in early morning. -Burlington Ca.
我還是第一次讀徐誌摩的《我等候你》, 譯的精彩，也喜歡你配的圖片，很詩意，謝謝分享。
周末快樂，
Rebecca
I am glad that you like the way i did it, Take good care, and Happy New Year 2008! I lookward to coperate more with you, in 2008.
Ciao!...lakeshore.
Great job, lakeshore!