滿眼風光
古今中外事，都付笑談中。
(第十笑) You know, it's been a whirlwind of activity these first hundred days. We've enacted a major economic recovery package, we passed a budget, we forged a new path in Iraq, and no President in history has ever named three Commerce Secretaries this quickly. (Laughter.) Which reminds me, if Judd Gregg is here, your business cards are ready now. (Laughter.)
自己的百日壯舉著實不易啊! 經濟複蘇計劃、天文數字的政府預算、伊拉克戰爭等等，美國曆史上還沒有哪位總統要在這麽短的時間內任命三位商務部長的(第一位是新墨西哥州州長Bill Richardson，但這胖子有廉政問題遭大陪審團調查；第二位是共黨參議員Judd Gregg，奧想通過Gregg大搞民共兩黨統一戰線。計劃精妙，無奈Gregg堅定共黨立場，不為所動；這第三位就是現在的華人領袖Gary Locke -- 中國人的驕傲)。
(這裏還提到幹細胞研究、孩童健康保險、以及因聯邦拯救汽車工業，奧被提名為auto executive of the year--略過)
(十一笑) We've also begun to change the culture in Washington. We've even made the White House a place where people can learn and can grow. Just recently, Larry Summers asked if he could chair the White House Council on Women and Girls. (Laughter.) And I do appreciate that Larry is here tonight because it is seven hours past his bedtime. (Laughter.) Gibbs liked that one. (Laughter.)
奧說白宮是人們學習和成長的地方，連Larry Summers都要來主持白宮的婦女丫頭協會。這Larry Summers是誰? 還記得那位散布性別歧視言論、說在科技領域"女子就是不如男"的哈佛校長嗎? 正是此人。為這番言論，他丟了哈大校長職位，也正因此，奧總統不考慮他作為財政部長的人選，而隻讓他領導總統經濟顧問團。據說Larry還有一個愛好，就是會議時間睡覺，所以他能參加晚宴實屬不易，因為時間已經過了他上床時間整整七個鍾頭了(Gibbs是奧的新聞書記)。
(十二笑) In the last hundred days, we've also grown the Democratic Party by infusing it with new energy and bringing in fresh, young faces like Arlen Specter. (Laughter.) Now, Joe Biden rightly deserves a lot of credit for convincing Arlen to make the switch, but Secretary Clinton actually had a lot to do with it too. One day she just pulled him aside and she said, Arlen, you know what I always say -- "if you can't beat them, join them." (Laughter.)
在頭一個百日裏，民主黨也進一步成長，有了新的力量，吸收了年輕新鮮血液，比如Arlen Specter(都七十九了)。策反Arlen，副總統Joe Biden立了頭功，但國務卿Clinton也是功不可沒。一天她對Arlen說: 如果你不能擊倒他們(民主黨)，那就加入他們。
(十三笑) Which brings me to another thing that's changed in this new, warmer, fuzzier White House, and that's my relationship with Hillary. You know, we had been rivals during the campaign, but these days we could not be closer. In fact, the second she got back from Mexico she pulled into a hug and gave me a big kiss. (Laughter.) Told me I'd better get down there myself. (Laughter.) Which I really appreciated. I mean, it was -- it was nice. (Laughter.)
奧和國務卿Hillary Clinton的關係，兩人曾是競選對手。但奧說: "現在我們的關係已經親近的不能再親近了。她從墨西哥回來，立馬和我擁抱親吻(暗指要把豬感冒傳染給奧)，還要我親自去那兒......"。
(十四笑) And of course we've also begun to change America's image in the world. We talked about this during this campaign and we're starting to execute. We've renewed alliances with important partners and friends. If you look on the screen there, there I am with Japanese Prime Minister Taro Aso. There I am with Gordon Brown.
But as I said during the campaign, we can't just talk to our friends. As hard as it is, we also have to talk to our enemies, and I've begun to do exactly that. Take a look at the monitor there. (Laughter.) Now, let me be clear, just because he handed me a copy of Peter Pan does not mean that I'm going to read it -- (laughter) -- but it's good diplomatic practice to just accept these gifts.
改變美國在全世界的形象需要花大力氣，這項工作正在進行。你瞧，奧忙著會見日本首相Taro Aso，英國首相Gorden Brown等(大屏幕打出照片)。但奧的雄心是朋友要見，敵手也要會。再看屏幕，這時是一幅奧會見Captain Hook的照片。奧還強調說: 他給我一本Peter Pan並不表明我會讀它。收下隻是外交禮節。這其中有兩個包袱，一，Peter Pan是一本在美國家喻戶曉的童話書，講的是仙子Peter戰海盜Captain Hook。現在索馬裏猖獗的海盜正是美國麵臨的主要敵人之一，奧要按承諾會敵手，於是就有了這照片。二，在美洲首腦峰會上(Summit of Americas)，委內瑞拉總統Chaves贈奧總統一本書，它曆數美國和歐洲在拉丁美洲幹下的滔滔劣跡，為此奧受到國內人士的批評，當時奧的回應就是"收下書並不等於我會讀它"，現在用Peter Pan童話書，借禿驢罵和尚，暗示美國依舊認為Chaves是Captain Hook一樣的懷人。
(十五笑) All this change hasn't been easy. Change never is. So I've cut the tension by bringing a new friend to the White House. He's warm, he's cuddly, loyal, enthusiastic. You just have to keep him on a tight leash. Every once in a while he goes charging off in the wrong direction and gets himself into trouble. But enough about Joe Biden. (Laughter.)
"可愛的想要擁抱它(cuddly)、忠誠(loyal)、熱情(enthusiastic)": 這些詞都是老美用來描述愛犬的。既然是犬，就得拴鏈子，不然它就亂衝亂跑，到處生事惹麻煩。第一家庭新近的確給白宮帶來一位新朋友，那就是美國第一犬Bo，所以這時你定然認為奧是在講他的愛犬Bo，萬沒想到他是在說副總統Joe Biden。這上麵的一串形容詞也完全合適Biden，他還是個出了名的大嘴巴(跟錢尼一樣)，到處亂說話惹事生非。前幾天聯邦政府全力控製豬感冒引起的慌亂時，他卻公開發言，讓民眾不要搭飛機坐火車。這類不當言論使Biden臭名昭著，也給奧總統帶來不少麻煩。在這場景嘲笑他一番，實屬應該。
(十六笑) All in all, we're proud of the change we've brought to Washington in these first hundred days but we've got a lot of work left to do, as all of you know. So I'd like to talk a little bit about what my administration plans to achieve in the next hundred days.
During the second hundred days, we will design, build and open a library dedicated to my first hundred days. (Laughter.) It's going to be big, folks. (Laughter.) In the next hundred days, I will learn to go off the prompter and Joe Biden will learn to stay on the prompter. (Laughter.)
第一個百日執政圓滿完成，那就該談談第二個百日執政計劃了。首先要建立一個圖書館來紀念第一個百日的功德(這是借喻每一位退位總統都建一個總統圖書館的慣例)。然後，奧要學會講話不用提示器，而Biden要學會如何使用提示器(以能夠限製他口無遮攔)。
(十七笑) In the next hundred days, our bipartisan outreach will be so successful that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat. After all, we have a lot in common. He is a person of color. (Laughter.) Although not a color that appears in the natural world. (Laughter.) What's up, John? (Laughter.)
奧這時開始嘲弄國會眾議院共黨領袖John Boehner，說他也要考慮反水，脫黨變節成為民主黨。因為奧和Boehner有不少共同點，說他也是黑人(person of color)，隻是他那黑色似乎不像是與生俱來的。這包袱可抖大了: Boehner實際是白人共黨，還是眾議院共方領袖。他的皮膚是tanned，也就是海灘太陽曬黑的那種。
(十八笑) In the next hundred days, I will meet with a leader who rules over millions with an iron fist, who owns the airwaves and uses his power to crush all who would challenge his authority at the ballot box. It's good to see you, Mayor Bloomberg. (Laughter.)
In the next hundred days, we will housetrain our dog, Bo, because the last thing Tim Geithner needs is someone else treating him like a fire hydrant. (Laughter.) In the next hundred days, I will strongly consider losing my cool. (Laughter.)
Finally, I believe that my next hundred days will be so successful I will be able to complete them in 72 days. (Laughter.) And on the 73rd day, I will rest. (Laughter.)
這兒奧先拿紐約市長說事，說他是鐵拳統治，掌控媒體(airwaves--暗示花錢作廣告)，以至無人能夠在投票上挑戰他。這位市長大人Bloomberg，是"婊子類"的政治人物，為求勝選，不惜連續反水，從前是鐵杆民主黨，2001年為贏得紐約市長，投靠共黨，2007也曾為競選總統蠢蠢欲動，為此還脫離公黨變成獨立人士，現在為了今秋的市長連任，又要求共黨方麵同意他重新回歸共黨。他靠著自己有錢如此不講黨性，活該被奧"修理"。
然後奧允諾他會好好調教第一狗Bo，因為奧財政部長Geithner不想再有誰把他當消防栓用了。這意思是美國經濟麻煩層出不窮，奧把Geithner當消防栓，用他到處滅火。如果不調教Bo，那它也像美國經濟一樣，麻煩層出不窮，興許還得把Geithner當成消防栓用。
最後，奧說信誓旦旦，說第二個百日也會非常成功，以至於所有計劃能夠在72天之內完成，第73天奧就可以休息了。這是忽悠另一類人: 自奧成為強勢政治人物以來，反對他的人諷刺他有Messiah Complex。我們可以把Messiah Complex叫做救世主綜合症，它的意思是: 政治人物都當仁不讓地認為自己是民族和國家的領袖，這本生也沒錯，但有些政客會把自己進一步上升到耶穌救世主的地位，認為拯救世界舍我其誰! 這就有點妄自托大。奧對這種批評了然在胸，並針對於此，故意調侃 -- 我就是那真龍天子，你們又能咋的? Messiah就是猶太話的耶穌，他老人家幹完活以後是要休息的。奧也要如此，72天完成計劃，第73天休息。我們但不太清楚為什麽是72天，有人說是因為奧的支持率是72%，也有人說是奧隨意取的數)。
......
這篇奧氏幽默整整三頁半英文，加上譯文和解釋就更長了(後麵還有幾小段，但多屬於正經官文，大家都看得懂，我們就此略過)。對美國政治幽默不感興趣的，這篇恐怕很難成為"可持續閱讀"。
但縱觀奧氏幽默大片，透著美式政治家的徹底幽默。政治，不論是民主的也好獨裁的也罷，不能隻是你死我活，更應該有歡聲笑語。
這讓人想起改革開放後的中國政壇，幽默元素也逐步見多，但還不夠，尤其在幽默的層次上急待改善。中國的幽默不能總是東北老漢斜戴破帽耍貧嘴，要不就是女褲男穿走偏襠裝兔爺，再有就是飯前酒後茶餘的黃段子。"高粱地裏十八摸"勞動人民喜聞樂見這也沒錯，但吃多了膩沒檔次不能持續發展。如果領袖人物在接受歌功頌德的同時，也能把自己開放給幽默、呈獻出中國的政壇十八笑，定能造就中國幽默市場的新一輪紅火。
奧氏十八笑，一笑傾城、二笑傾國、三笑秋香妹傾心...... 這位黑人俊才媚力無窮，政治才能卓越，演講技能語言智慧都遠勝白種同類。這真應了中國那句老話: 人不可貌相，海水有點鹹還涼......。
建議去看看. 隻是有些上海地方的幽默元素. 有點文化背景. 可能有些
北方人看有點兒困難.
難為老罷了。確是太長，我看著都累。對老美的良好自我感覺和不輕易看扁別人的高尚行為，有同感。
駱家輝曾是華州人民的好州長，比起另外兩位他是商業部長的更好人選。奧陰錯陽差地選對了，說明奧運氣不錯。
a point well taken!
thx
八卦
幽默這東西靠的是兩把刷子：雙關與形象誇張。雙關這東西需要知識與學問，要用得奧妙與恰如其分不是一件容易的事情。把握誇張的尺度就更難了，不但要形象、要鮮活，還要帶點諷刺，但又不能太過，否則就成了人生攻擊，有失風度與水準。
做總統的都自我感覺良好，其實不單單是總統，是美國文化。我在這裏讀研究生院時，個個老美同學都自我感覺良好，即使學習成績很差也不影響他們的自信，但成績好的倒也沒有看不起人。中國同學則有些不一樣，當麵比較謙虛，背地裏相互不服氣，這也許隻是我的一管之見，有失偏頗之處請看客們多多包涵。
Gary Locke曾是我們州的前任州長，希望他這次上台會對美國與中國都有所幫助。
再次感謝分享！