IM SICK AND MY LIFE SUCKS

In case you didn't read the title, I'm ill. I'm ailed! Possibly even sickened. And my life also sucks because I'm sick. I have laryngitis, a sinus infection, and an ear infection. It's also because I have the immune system of a pistachio. I have been coughing up gross goopy stuff all day and my lungs are set to collapse if I have to cough one more time. My cats are also not helping because they are fat and need me to feed them, and my mom LEFT ME ABANDONED AT HOME (WHILE SICK I MAY ADD) without feeding the cats. I know, I know. The audacity is astonishing. Anyways my nostrils aren't working great either because of the sinus infection, and my ears are pressurized because of the ear infection. My ears also get pressurized every time I get sick because of some unknown force tasked with distributing divine retribution upon me. It sucks. I tried to go to school but I sounded like an old hag when I attempted to speak and all my friends advised me to go home. I missed a bio chapter test, a math test, and an english test. AND NEXT WEEK (when I have to make the tests up), IS THE WEEK BEFORE FINALS! FREAK MY FREAKING CHUNGUS LIFE!! My grades are about as cooked as I am. Future colleges are not going to care that I had laryngitis because the universe hates me. I am however getting better, because I thought I was getting better but then I got sick and had to go to urgent care and couldn't talk and waited like a bajilllion years for the doctor to come out. I have been sick for more than a full week. Someone needs to save me. AND MY MOM IS JUST OVER THERE SLEEPING LIKE HER DAUGHTER ISN'T SUFFERING FROM 3 DISEASES FROM HELL. AND SO ARE MY CATS. Oh nevermind I woke her up :D. SHE WENT BACK TO SLEEP. Anyways my life sucks, so don't get sick. Also, H, if you're reading this, I want you to know that I told my best friend of 8 years that she wasn't my best friend anymore because you are. Peace out.