金龜婿 3.6.2.10 Golden Turtle Son in Law

三皇五帝的目錄

一天塵香在和三個政府施工監理喝酒的時候，說要賣這裏的地產，搬家去縣裏。一個監理問：“你要賣多少錢？”

塵香回答：“如果你買，我要三千兩銀子。”

另一個監理問：“如果我要買呢？”

塵香回答：“兩千兩銀子。”

建築公司的經理聽見後，也過來說要買。塵香回答：“不賣給你！”經理紅著臉走了。幾個監理哈哈大笑。

One day, Dust-Scent was drinking with three government construction supervisors and said that he wanted to sell the property here and move to the county.

One supervisor asked, "How much do you want to sell it for?"

Dust-Scent replied, "If you buy it, I want three thousand taels of silver."

Another supervisor asked, "What if I want to buy it?"

Dust-Scent replied, "Two thousand taels of silver."

After hearing this, the manager of the construction company also came over and said he wanted to buy it. Dust-Scent replied, "I won't sell it to you!" The manager left with a red face. Several supervisors laughed.

事後，塵凡不高興地來找塵香：“你怎麽對我師傅這麽沒禮貌？”

塵香回答：“你師傅早就發現咱倆打算離開這裏了。這個工程是那個女人（舜帝）在給咱倆錢。咱倆走了，她肯定派人來查賬。這座房子和家具都是咱爹牛郎自己設計製作的，那個女人肯定會要回去。我給你師傅長兩倍的工資，現在生效。”

塵凡去告訴公司經理說：“我哥說給你長兩倍的工資，今天生效。”

建築公司的經理聽後，沒說話。

Afterwards, Dust-Mortal came to Dust-Scent unhappily and said, "Why are you so rude to my teacher?"

Dust-Scent replied, "Your teacher has long known that we are planning to leave here. The woman (Emperor Shun) is paying us for this project. If we leave, she will send someone to check the accounts. This house and furniture were designed and made by our father Cowboy himself, and the woman will want it back. I will triple your teacher's salary, effective now."

Dust-Mortal went to tell the company manager, "My brother said he will triple your salary, effective today."

The manager of the construction company didn't say anything after hearing this.

3.6.2.10-2女人理想的性交次數 the ideal number of sexual intercourses for women.

一天塵香去到縣城裏的一家妓院，對老板娘說：“我願意花費十兩銀子請你回答一個問題。我可以先付錢，你七天之後給我答案。”

老板娘回答：“當然可以！什麽問題？”

塵香說：“女人每晚的理想性交次數？”

老板娘思考了一會兒後，回答：“你要我給你一個對得起良心的答案。你看我這麽辦怎麽樣？我自己找30位我信任的妓女，鄭重地問她們這個問題。然後我讓賬房先生記下來她們說的話，整理成一段文字，結尾再給你個匯總表。你看怎麽樣？”

塵香回答：“我覺著你的主意挺好。七天後，我來你這裏取答案。”

七天後，塵香再次來到了這個妓院。老板娘交給他兩頁紙。塵香看後，要來了毛筆，塗抹掉了全部的名字，沒說話。

One day Dust-Scent went to a brothel in the county town and said to the proprietress: "I am willing to spend ten taels of silver to ask you to answer a question. I can pay first, and you can give me the answer in seven days."

The proprietress replied: "Of course! What question?"

Dust-Scent said: "What is the ideal number of sexual intercourses per night for a woman?"

The proprietress thought for a while and replied, "You want me to give you an answer that is true to my conscience. How about this? I will find 30 prostitutes I trust and ask them this question seriously. Then I will ask the accountant to write down what they say, organize it into a text, and give you a summary table at the end. What do you think?"

Dust-Scent replied: "I think your idea is good. I will come to you in seven days to get the answer."

Seven days later, Dust-Scent came to the brothel again. The proprietress handed him two pages of paper. After reading them, proprietress asked for a brush and erased all the names without saying anything.

塵香拿著這兩頁紙，來到了縣城另一端的一個妓院。他對老板娘述說了前文的事，並給她看那兩頁紙。

老板娘回答：“我會去你說的那個妓院詢問。如果這是事實，你給我10兩銀子，我親自找幾個我信任的人，調查60位妓女。您看怎麽樣？”

塵香給了這位老板娘十兩銀子後說：“15天後，我來取您的調查報告。”

十五天後，塵香拿著前兩份調查報告和十兩銀子來找一個距離前兩家妓院遠的妓院，向老板娘給出了招標的請求。老板娘看了前兩份調查報告後說：“我會去核實。如果你說的都是事實。你給我十兩銀子，我去旁邊黑山縣的南門附近，詢問90位妓女。我和那裏的三個妓院老板是朋友。”

塵香回答：“這十兩銀子是你的了。一個月後，我來取回這兩份和你的調查報告。”

Dust-Scent took the two pages of paper and went to a brothel at the other end of the county. He told the proprietress what happened above and showed her the two pages of paper.

The proprietress replied: "I will go to the brothel you mentioned to ask. If this is true, you give me 10 taels of silver, and I will personally find a few people I trust to investigate 60 prostitutes. What do you think?"

Dust-Scent gave the proprietress 10 taels of silver and said: "I will come to get your investigation report in 15 days."

Fifteen days later, Dust-Scent took the first two investigation reports and ten taels of silver to a brothel far from the first two brothels and asked the proprietress for a bid. After reading the first two investigation reports, the proprietress said, "I will verify it. If what you said is true, you give me ten taels of silver and I will go to the South Gate of Heishan County nearby and ask 90 prostitutes. I am friends with the three brothel owners there."

Dust-Scent replied, "The ten taels of silver are yours. I will come back to take back the two reports and your investigation reports in a month."

一個月後，塵香來取調查報告，看見報告的最後一頁有個總結，“女人每晚的理想性交次數？很少；7天3次；1天3次；7；20；50；100；200；300；500；700。”塵香問這位老板娘：“這個總結是什麽意思？”

老板娘回答：“我去到黑山縣南城門後，就把這個調查任務分包給了我的三個妓院老板朋友。調查結果匯總上來後，我們幾位老朋友討論了很長時間。這個答案是我一位朋友的朋友，XXX，給出的。她說，‘以前有人研究過這個問題，得出了這樣的答案。’我們討論的結果是這個答案最好。答案是把女人分成了三類：性欲弱的女人，多數的女人，和性欲強的女人。性欲弱的女人認為理想性交次數可能是7天1次，30天2次，甚至更少。大多數女人的理想性交次數是7天3次，至於1天3次。一夜七次郎，隻是個說法，隻有少數女人希望嚐試那種感覺。性欲強的女人有願意每夜與20至50人性交的，但是這種就很少了。以至於有女人的性欲很強烈，願意與700人性交。這種女人很罕見，但是確實有這種女人。”

A month later, Dust-Scent came to pick up the survey report and saw a summary on the last page of the report: "What is the ideal number of sexual intercourses for women per night? Very few; 3 times in 7 days; 3 times in 1 day; 7; 20; 50; 100; 200; 300; 500; 700." Dust-Scent asked the proprietress: "What does this summary mean?"

The proprietress replied: "After I arrived at the South Gate of Heishan County, I subcontracted this survey task to my three brothel owner friends. After summarizing the survey results, we old friends discussed for a long time. This answer was given by a friend of my friend, XXX. She said, 'Someone has studied this issue before and got this answer.' The result of our discussion is that this answer is the best. The answer is to divide women into three categories: women with weak sexual desire, most women, and women with strong sexual desire. Women with weak sexual desire think that the ideal number of sexual intercourses may be once every 7 days, twice every 30 days, or even less. The ideal number of sexual intercourses for most women is 3 times in 7 days, as for 3 times in 1 day. Seven times a night is just a saying, and only a few women want to try that feeling. Women with strong sexual desire are willing to have sex with 20 to 50 people every night, but this is rare. There are even women with strong sexual desire who are willing to have sex with 700 people. Such women are rare, but they do exist."

3.6.2.10-3

經過一年的緊張施工，舜禹行宮的整修工程終於竣工了。在逐步接受竣工驗收的過程中，塵香和塵凡故意先驗收通風係統的進氣口，雷峰塔的抽氣能力，和天花板工程項目，以便於這哥倆在夜間改裝爬進行宮的閥門等裝置。竣工驗收完畢後，塵香和塵凡還推遲了兩天交鑰匙，對他們倆安裝的更改過的閥門進行最後的測試。

不久後，舜帝就再一次來這個行宮了。和以前一樣。塵香和塵凡跟著舜帝走親戚，過斷橋。沒事時，這哥倆站在自家房子旁邊的樹上向行宮院子裏麵看。他倆幾次看見一隊重騎兵穿著全身的鎧甲和防護麵罩，跑進和跑出行宮東部的房間（注）。

After a year of intense construction, the renovation of Shun Yu Migration Palace was finally completed. In the process of gradually accepting the final inspection, Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal deliberately inspected the air intake of the ventilation system, the air extraction capacity of Leifeng Pagoda, and the ceiling projects first, so that the two brothers could modify the valves and other devices to climb into the palace at night. After the final inspection, the brothers postponed the handover of keys for two days to conduct the final test of the modified valves they installed.

Soon after, Emperor Shun came to the palace again. Just like before. Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal followed Emperor Shun to visit relatives and cross the Broken Bridge. When they were free, the two brothers stood on the tree next to their house and investigated the palace yard. Several times they saw a group of heavy cavalries wearing full body armor and protective masks running in and out of the rooms in the east of the palace (note).

注3.6.2.10，讀者當知，這本《中華法典》已經被整編過十幾次了。編者的名單曾被列在2.2.8 《媽祖家宴》。文中以媽祖和玉皇大帝對話的形式，以媽祖要給二郎神介紹女朋友為由列出了6000年來，十幾代《法典》的編輯人員。現代的研究人員發現，由於編者的水平有高有低，使中華文化的防盜牆遭到了破壞。原因之一就是對《法典》中的重騎兵，即對神話傳說中刀槍不入的天兵天將，解釋得過多。所以本書為了恢複文化防盜牆，不再解釋國家安全局的警察。那些出入行宮的重騎兵是國家安全局的警察，包括女英，大禹，和其他幾對兒金童和玉女。如15.5.3《序言》中所說的，女媧造人時，造出了多對兒金童和玉女。

Note 3.6.2.10, readers should know that this Chinese Codex has been reorganized more than a dozen times. The list of editors was listed in 2.2.8 "Mazu Family Feast". In the text, in the form of a dialogue between Mazu and the Turquoise Emperor, the editors of the Codex for more than a dozen generations over the past 6,000 years are listed on the grounds that Mazu wants to introduce a girlfriend to Second Wolf God. Modern researchers have found that due to the high and low levels of the editors, the anti-theft wall of Chinese culture has been damaged. One of the reasons is that the heavy cavalry in the Codex, that is, the invulnerable heavenly soldiers and generals in myths and legends, have been explained too much. Therefore, to restore the cultural anti-theft wall, this book no longer explains the police of the National Security Bureau. Those heavy cavalries who enter and leave the palace are police of the National Security Bureau, including Heroine, Big Yu, and several other pairs of golden boys and jade girls. As mentioned in 15.5.3 "Preface", when Nuwa created humans, she created many pairs of golden boys and jade girls.

3.6.2.10-4 金龜婿 Golden Turtle Son in Law

一天晚上，這兄弟倆就爬到了舜帝寢宮的天花板上麵，看見從全國各地來的將軍向她匯報。還有監視大禹的人向舜帝述說各種各樣詆毀大禹的消息。隨後，一個漢進來告訴舜帝：“漢來伺候你了！”寢宮裏就進來了各種各樣的漢和軍官。在前麵的人和舜帝性交的同時，後麵的人排著隊地脫衣服。他們的性交像似表演一樣。性交一段時間後，還有個中間休息，去洗澡。舜帝再次回來時就不出聲了，全場靜音。然後就是一場接著一場的性交表演。

這哥倆來到了接待室的天花板上，看見排隊的漢在討論問題，有的在討論象形文字。他們也嘮嗑，說大禹又被軟禁在了YYY；這次他再也別想被放出來了。一個漢對新來的漢說：“大禹是個書呆子，什麽都不懂，連做愛都不會。以前有一段時間，舜帝讓他每晚坐在旁邊看著，我們就排著隊地去和舜帝做愛。有時舜帝還問他看見了多少種做愛的姿勢。”

One night, the two brothers climbed onto the ceiling of Emperor Shun's bedroom and saw generals from all over the country reporting to him. There were also people who were monitoring Big Yu telling Emperor Shun all kinds of slanderous news about Big Yu. Then, a Han came in and told Emperor Shun: "Han is here to serve you!" Various Han and military officers came into the bedroom. While the person in front was having sex with Emperor Shun, the people behind were lining up to take off their clothes. Their sex was like a performance. After having sex for a while, there was a break to take a shower. When Emperor Shun came back again, she was silent, and the whole place was silent. Then there was one sex show after another.

The two brothers came to the ceiling of the reception room and saw the men in line discussing issues, some of them discussing hieroglyphics. They also chatted, saying that Big Yu is under house arrest in YYY again; this time he would never be released again. One Han said to the new Han: "Big Yu is a nerd, he knows nothing, not even how to make love. There was a time before when Emperor Shun asked him to sit by and watch every night, and we lined up to make love with Emperor Shun. Sometimes Emperor Shun even asked him how many kinds of sex positions he had seen."

注3.6.2.10-4，中華文化和墨西哥文化中，妻子和別人發生性行為被認為是讓丈夫當烏龜，給丈夫帶綠帽子。烏龜和大茶壺（如圖3.6.2.10-6）是妓院男傭的別名。前文舜帝在禹皇的麵前和背後與許多男人做愛，所以人們稱呼大禹為烏龜和大茶壺。大禹和本書的墨西哥（如圖3）類似，在想著如何寫他神父玉皇大帝的墓誌銘。圖1中的無字墓碑就是玉皇大帝的墓碑。金龜婿義為禹皇（即黃帝）是玉皇大帝的女婿。

本書《中華法典》，又名《女媧造人》，就是順皇（即舜帝）和禹皇聯手為玉皇大帝寫的墓誌銘。插圖4是大禹或墨西哥的肖像，義為魃，幹旱。圖5是舜帝或翠玉女的肖像，義為法雨，水。插圖6是大茶壺墨西哥在造生命之樹的樹幹。

Note 3.6.2.10-4, In Chinese and Mexican cultures, a wife who has sex with another person is making her husband a turtle and capping him with green hat. The turtle and the large teapot (as in Figure 3.6.2.10-6) are aliases for male servants in brothels. In the previous section, Emperor Shun had sex with many men in front of and behind White-King Yu, so people called Big Yu a Turtle, a Big Teapot. Big Yu, like Mexico in this book (e.g., Fig. 3), was thinking about how to write the epitaph of Godfather, Emperor Turquoise. The wordless tombstone in Figure 1 is the tombstone of Turquoise Emperor. Golden Turtle Son-in-law means that White-King Yu (i.e. Yellow Emperor) is the son-in-law of Emperor Turquoise.

This book, the “Chinese Codex”, also known as “Nuwa Made Men”, is the epitaph that Emperor Shun (i.e., White-King Shun) and White-King Yu teamed up to write for the Turquoise Emperor. Illustration 4 is a portrait of White-King Yu or Mexico, meaning Ba, drought. Illustration 5 is a portrait of Emperor Shun or Jade Girl, meaning Juristic Rain, water. Illustration 6 is the great teapot Mexico making the trunk of the tree of life.

3.6.2.10-5

這哥兒倆回到家後，哭到了天亮：大禹叔叔就是個普通農民出身，這個世界上如果咱哥倆不幫他，沒有別人會幫他。

幾天後，這哥倆想出了個營救大禹的辦法。我們倆要成為將軍，去剿匪。成功之後，我倆進行一次有限度的叛亂，要求舜帝派大禹來和我們談判。這樣，大禹就被釋放出來了。如果成功了，我們倆有兵權，可以製約舜帝，使她對大禹友好些，多些親情。

於是，這哥兒倆就開始為實施他們倆的叛亂計劃做準備了。白天，他們倆用心和軍營裏的將軍們研究武藝，晚上輪班去行宮偷窺，收集情報。

After returning home, the two brothers cried until dawn: Uncle Big Yu was born an ordinary farmer. If we brothers don't help him, no one else in the world will help him.

A few days later, the two brothers came up with a way to rescue Big Yu. We will become generals and go to suppress the bandits. After success, we will launch a limited rebellion and ask Emperor Shun to send Big Yu to negotiate with us. In this way, uncle Big Yu will be released. If successful, we will have military power and can restrain Emperor Shun, making her more friendly and affectionate to uncle Big Yu.

So, the two brothers began to prepare for the implementation of their rebellion plan. During the day, they studied martial arts with the generals in the barracks and took turns to spy on the palace at night to collect intelligence.

3.6.2.10-6 逗你玩兒呢！Just kidding you!

這天這哥倆送走舜帝後，塵香對塵凡叨咕：“折騰了一年多了，我也沒搞明白咱倆一年前觀察到的那組進入那女人寢宮的數據是怎麽回事！我懷疑那些性交演出是那個女人身邊的那些蒙著青黃赤白黑麵紗的女漢殃子幹的，但我不明白她幹這事幹嘛！？”說著，他把前文他委托三個妓院老板調查的報告交給塵凡看。

塵凡看後說：“哎！最後一頁有幾個人名你沒有抹掉！？”

塵香驚訝地回答：“啊！這幾個月忙，把這事忘了。我想去黑山縣城問問，這個結論是來自傳說，還是近些年真的有人研究過？”

塵凡回答：“我跟你一起去，我早就懷疑那些大的數字是那個女人在逗咱倆玩呢！”

After the two brothers sent Emperor Shun away that day, Dust-Scent muttered to Dust-Mortal, "After more than a year of tossing and turning, I still don't understand what's going on with the data of entering that woman's bedroom that we observed a year ago! I suspect that those sexual performances were done by those “female Han misfortune seedlings” with green, yellow, red, white and black veils around that woman, but I don't understand why she did this!?" As he said that, he handed the report that he had commissioned the three brothel owners to investigate to Dust-Mortal.

After reading it, Dust-Mortal said, "Hey! There's a name on the last page that you didn't erase!?"

Dust-Scent replied in surprise, "Ah! I've been busy these past few months and forgot about it. I want to go to Heishan County to ask, is this conclusion from a legend, or has anyone really studied it in recent years?"

Dust-Mortal replied, "I'll go with you. I've long suspected that those big numbers are just a joke from that woman!"

塵香和塵凡剛進黑山縣城的南門，就發現了三家妓院。他倆看見有幾個老女人正坐在一家妓院的二樓的陽台上嘮嗑呢，就過去詢問。三個妓院的老板核實了塵香和塵凡的身份後，說：“那個說這個結論的人和我們認識不是很久。XXX回家了。她家就在夾一溝鄉，水長流村。從縣城的東門出去，沿著驛道一直向東。你們騎馬去，兩個小時就到了。”

塵香迷惑地問：“這個世界上有你們說的那個地方嗎？”

一個老板娘回答：“你去了就知道了；我們怎麽可能這麽騙官差呢！”

這哥倆確實很快就找到了“夾一溝鄉，水常流村”，但村裏人告訴他倆，那個女人，XXX，三年前就死了。

As soon as Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal entered the south gate of Heishan County, they found three brothels. They saw a few old women sitting on the balcony on the second floor of a brothel chatting, so they went over to ask. After verifying the identities of Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal, the owners of the three brothels said: "The person who made this conclusion has not known us for a long time. She went home. Her home is in Jiayigou Township, Shuichangliu Village. Go out from the east gate of the county town and go east along the post road, you can arrive there on horseback in two hours."

Dust-Scent asked in confusion: "Is there such a place as you mentioned in this world?"

A proprietress replied: "You will know when you go there; how could we cheat the officials like this!"

The two brothers did quickly find the village of “Jieyigou Township, Shuichangliu Village”, but the village people told them that the woman, XXX, had died three years ago.

塵香和塵凡失望地向回家的方向走，來到一片樹林邊。忽然，路引騎著馬過來了。他們三人相互問候。路引說他要去“夾一溝鄉，水常流村”。當路引從他倆身邊過時，叨咕 ：“逗你玩兒呢！”

這哥倆愣住了，轉頭問。路引頭也不回地走遠了。

塵香和塵凡繼續向回家的方向行進。臨衝在前麵來了，問路引去哪裏了。

臨衝在這哥倆身邊過時，大聲叨咕：“逗你玩兒呢！”然後他也是策馬揚鞭而去。

塵香和塵凡繼續向回家的方向行進。忽然在前麵，他們法庫縣的縣長秘書來了，高喊：“逗你玩呢！”

Disappointed, Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal walked toward home and came to the edge of a wood. Suddenly, Road-Leader rode by. The three of them greeted each other. Road-Leader said that he was going to the “Jieyigou, Shuichangliu village”. When Road-Leader passed by them, he muttered, “Just kidding you!”

The two brothers froze and turned their heads to ask. Road-Leader walked away without looking back.

Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal continued to march in the direction of home. Before-Charging came up ahead and asked where Road-Leader had gone.

As Before-Charging passed by these two brothers, he chattered loudly, “Just kidding you!” Then he too spurred his horse on.

Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal continued traveling in the direction of home. Suddenly up ahead, the secretary of the prefect of their Faku County arrived, shouting, “Just kidding you!”

這哥倆和秘書交談了幾句後，秘書說他要去追路引和臨衝。當秘書從塵香和塵凡身邊走過時，也叨咕：“逗你玩呢！”然後，他也不回頭地跑向了“水常流村”。

塵凡問沉香：“這是怎麽了，怎麽都來‘水常流’村了？”

塵香回答：“咱倆還是去咱們的法庫縣政府看看吧！

塵凡回答：“我感覺時空錯亂了。咱倆也回‘水常流村’吧！我倆走驛道回黑山縣，然後住在黑山縣城。明天早上我倆去法庫縣政府。”

塵香同意了。

After these two brothers talked to the secretary for a few moments, the secretary said that he was going after Road-Leader and Before-Charging. As the secretary walked past Dust-Scent and Dust-Mortal, he also chanted, “Just kidding you!” Then, without looking back, he also ran towards the “Shuichangliu village” (i.e., Water Constant Flows village).

Dust-Mortal asked Dust-Scent and, “What's going on here, why are they all coming to ‘Shuichangliu Village’”

Dust-Scent replied, "Let's just go to our Faku County government!”

Dust-Mortal replied, "I feel that time and space are misplaced. Let's go back to ‘Shuichangliu Village’ as well! We'll take the stagecoach route back to Heishan County and then stay in Heishan County Town. Tomorrow morning, we will go to our Faku County Government."

Dust-Scent agreed.

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