盧岩回憶錄

本人的回憶錄,宗教文化
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10 宿命通 Fate Through

(2025-02-02 17:36:17) 下一個

目錄 Catalog:10.1 劉團長的死訊 News of Liu's Death;10.2 大爆炸Big Bang;10.3 去找劉健君結婚 Went to Marry Eve Liu;10.4 劉團長的遺言 Troupe Leader Liu's Will;10.5 宿命通 Fate Through;10.6 治療心病的原則 Principles of Curing Mental Illness;10.7 宿命智 Fate Intelligence;10.8 神的外貌 Godly Appearances;10.9 三位一體 Godly Trinity;10.10 靈魂轉世的本質 Nature of Reincarnation

 

10.1 劉團長的死訊 News of Liu's Death

二零一一年五月,我到高德聯合公司(Golder Associates Inc.)的實驗室工作。高德是家上市了的國際性岩土工程公司。我隻在實驗室裏工作,不下工地,接觸的人少。實驗室的經理瑪麗的名字很長,我不能拚讀。在麵試我時,她同意我稱呼她瑪麗(Mary)。她來自一個我不知道在哪裏的國家。她再次解釋;我還是想不出來,就不好意思再問了。工作一段時間後,我發現人們稱呼她瑪麗亞、羅密歐什麽的,再次問應該怎麽稱呼她。她回答她的生活裏就這樣,不同的人叫她不同的名字,習慣了。我常觀察她,她是個標準健壯的歐洲血統白人,行為端莊得體,傳統西方人的世界觀,性格不緊不慢,沒有地方口音,沒有民族和地域的特質;我分析不出她來自何方。

開始的兩個月還好,可工作中,我又接觸到了達弗羅克(Davroc)和大佛印(Dufferin)公司的人和業務,漸漸的我的覺思失調症又成長起來了。我和同事之間有了矛盾,對黑社會的擔心越來越重。劉健君研究靈魂轉世,雇傭黑社會的人,黑社會的人辦事不成,丟了麵子,或者什麽人矜持不住了,就可能出現謀殺事件。

In May 2011, I went to work in the laboratory of Golder Associates Inc. Golder is a publicly traded international geotechnical engineering firm. I only worked in the lab, not went to the job site, had little contact with people. The lab manager, Mary, had a long name that I couldn't spell. When I was interviewed, she agreed to let me call her Mary. She was from a country I didn't know where. She explained again; I still couldn't figure it out, so I was too embarrassed to ask again. After working for a while, I realized that people called her Maria, Mario, or whatever, and again asked what I should call her. She replied that that was how it was in her life; different people called her different names and got used to it. I often observe her. She is a standard, strong white woman of European descent. She behaves in a dignified and proper manner, has a traditional Western worldview, a leisurely personality, no local accent, and no ethnic or regional characteristics. I cannot analyze where she is from.

The first two months were fine, but at work, I met people and business from Davroc and Dufferin, and gradually my schizophrenia worsened. I had conflicts with my colleagues, and I became more and more worried about the black society. Eve Liu studied soul reincarnation and hired black society people. If those mafias failed to get tasks done, lost face, or someone lost their composure, there might be murders.

10.1-2

一天的喝咖啡休息時間,聽同事們在嘮嗑。事後,不知為什麽,我回憶起了瑪麗講她開會時看的錄像。劉健君回答桫欏派去調查我的人:“盧岩心理的社會環境和別人不一樣。他念研究生的時候,他同屋那個人是我爸爸安排的。他們就一起騙他;他就信了。”

調查的人問:“現在你爸爸在哪兒?”

劉健君回答:“死了!我爸爸做的事兒與我沒有關係。那時我不在國內,我在美國讀博士呢!”

調查的人問:“那你為什麽不告訴盧岩?”

One day during a coffee break, I listened to my colleagues chatting. Afterwards, for some reason, I recalled Mary's talk about the video she watched in the meeting. Eve Liu answered the person sent by Sal Fasullo to investigate me: "Luyan's psychological social environment is different from others. When he was a graduate student, the person he shared a room with was arranged by my father. They lied to him together; he believed it."

The investigator asked, "Where is your father now?"

Eve Liu replied, "Dead! What my father did has nothing to do with me. I was not in China at that time, I was in the United States studying for my doctorate!"

The investigator asked, "Then why didn't you tell Luyan?"

劉健君回答:“我爸說,盧岩很強。他不親眼看見,誰告訴他,他都不信,就隻能是別人在他旁邊嘮嗑,或者路上的人嘮嗑,他聽見了,就想。一點兒點兒地,他想明白了,就沒事兒了。”

調查的人問:“你爸爸想讓盧岩幹什麽?”

劉健君回答:“他說我這輩子命運中沒有丈夫,除了盧岩,別人都不行。說我不是他的女兒,盧岩是他的兒子。他就想讓我和盧岩結婚。我爸說,看不見我和盧岩結婚,他死不瞑目。你看,我不迷信,不信這個。”

Eve Liu replied, "My dad said that Luyan was very stubborn. If he didn't see it with his own eyes, he wouldn't believe anyone who told him, so he could only think about it when others chattered next to him or people on the road chattered, and he heard it. Little by little, he figured it out, and then he was fine."

The investigator asked, "What did your father want Luyan to do?"

Eve Liu replied, "He said that I had no husband in my life, and that no one else would do except Luyan. He said that I am not his daughter and Luyan is his son. He then wanted me to marry Luyan. My dad said he can't see me marry Luyan, he dies with eyes open. You see! I am not superstitious and don't believe in this."

我回憶起來瑪麗亞所說的話之後,感覺奇怪:如果這是我以前想過的事,想象與現實混淆了,那不應該有我根本不知道的事。我回憶起了本書第2章中《桃花劫》的故事,是我媽媽給我講的。她不記得 “前世姻緣,命中注定” 這八個字了。那瑪麗亞說的這八個字是從哪裏來的(注2)!?而且瑪麗說的是英語,她的用詞和我英語用詞的習慣根本不一樣。我回憶、分析劉團長已經五、六年沒對我做過什麽了,認為他真的已經過世了。

我認為劉團長真的早就過世了,心情很不好,兩三天裏像似病了一樣。我懷疑劉健君收買了我的妻子,並委托人照顧我的孩子,我總發現他們在變化。

注10.1-2,環境形成後,相關的語言就會出現。在前文第2章,我兩歲時聽這樣的詞當然不理解,記憶也很少,但這時有了相關的環境,這詞就冒出來了。

After I recalled what Marry said, felt strange: If this was something I had thought about before, and imagination was confused with reality, then there shouldn't be something I didn't know. I recalled the story of "Peach Flower Catastrophe" in Chapter 2 of this book, which my mother told me. She didn't remember the eight words “Former Generation's Marriage Factors, Predetermining Fate”. So where did Mary's eight words come from (Note 2)!? And Mary spoke English; her word usage was completely different from my English verbal habits. I recalled and analyzed that Troupe Leader Liu had not done anything to me for five or six years, thought he was dead.

I thought that Troupe Leader Liu had really passed away a long time ago. I was in a very bad mood and seemed to be sick for two or three days. I suspected that Eve Liu bribed my wife and entrusted someone to take care of my children. I always found that they were changing.

Note 10.1-2, after the environment is formed, the related language will appear. In the previous chapter 2, when I was two years old, I didn’t understand such words and I had very little memory, but now there is a related environment, so the words pop up.

 

10.2 大爆炸 Big Bang

一天下午,我忽然感覺肚子疼,懷疑大佛印那幫人(敵對勢力)要殺我滅口,指使我同事在我喝的咖啡裏下毒。我去警察局報警,警察看著我說,都沒記錄,沒什麽反應。我離開了警察局,想去醫院;可我知道在醫院排隊看病要等十幾個小時,實在是難熬,就回家了。

我一直想我和劉團長之間的事,認為自從2004年,他就沒再來逗我玩了。我串聯起了整個第2章《桃花劫》的故事(注,但還沒有回憶出第1至3章的事),認為自己想明白了 “前世姻緣,命中注定” 這八個字。我一直對佛教的不見頂智(即上帝之眼)著迷,沒想到劉團長用在我身上了。我覺得自己是個畜生,他那麽大歲數了,快病死了,三番兩次托人捎信讓我去看他,而我像個活驢一樣,無動於衷;自作孽,不可活!

One afternoon, I suddenly felt a stomach-ache and suspected that Dufferin gang (hostile forces) wanted to kill me and instruct my colleagues to poison my coffee. I went to the police station to report the case, but the police looked at me while I was talking; there is no record, no response. I left the police station and wanted to go to the hospital, but I knew that I would have to wait for more than ten hours to see a doctor in the hospital, which was unbearable, so I went home.

I have been thinking about what happened between me and Troupe Leader Liu, and I think he has not come to tease me since 2004. I have linked together the story of the entire Chapter 2 "Peach Blossom Catastrophe" (note, but I have not yet recalled the events of Chapters 1 to 3), and I think I have figured out the eight words “Former Generation’s Marriage Factors, Predetermining Fate”. I have always been fascinated by the Buddhist “intelligence of not seeing the top” (i.e. God's Eye), but I didn't expect Troupe Leader Liu to use it on me. I feel like a beast. He is so old and dying of illness. He repeatedly asked people to send me messages to visit him, but I was like a donkey, indifferent, self-inflicted sin, not deserving to live!

10.2-1 腸梗阻 Ileus

忽然,我感覺五髒六腑都在移動,身體裏到處都是邪氣亂竄。我小時候練過氣功(參見第12章),對這種肢體的觸覺幻覺不感覺奇怪,但這邪氣發動的規模之大,程度之劇烈,讓我震驚。我趕忙躺到了床上,以免暈倒。

我感覺到胸下出現一個隔截麵(如插圖10.2.1-A),上下不通氣,胃腸不走動(注,現代醫學稱為腸梗阻)。我立刻調整呼吸,驅動真氣沿著任脈向下衝擊那個中截麵。真氣一接觸那道截麵,截麵就潰散了。很快,那些邪氣又變形重組,堵在胸口處(約在膳中穴,俗稱中丹田)。我繼續調整呼吸,用真氣沿著任脈向下衝擊堵在心窩處沉重陰冷的邪氣。幾分鍾後,我打通了任脈,身體和胃腸的蠕動恢複了正常。我鎮靜下來後,心想:一時悸動,還真沒遇見過;可不能再胡思亂想了!

Suddenly, I felt my internal organs moving, and “ill air” were running all over my body. I had practiced meditation when I was a child (see chapter 12), so I didn't find this kind of tactile hallucination strange, but the scale and intensity of the “ill air” shocked me. I quickly lay down on the bed to avoid fainting fall.

I felt a diaphragm section appear under my chest (as shown in Illustration 10.2.1-A), with no air circulation and gastrointestinal tract movement (note, this is called intestinal obstruction in modern medicine). I immediately adjusted my breathing and drove “True Air” down along the Ren Mai to impact the middle section. As soon as the “True Air” touched the section, the section collapsed. Soon, the “Ill Air” reshaped and reorganized, blocking the chest (about the Shan Zhong acupoint, commonly known as the middle Dantian). I continued to adjust my breathing and used the Qi (i.e., True Air) down along the Ren Mai to impact the heavy and cold evil Qi (i.e., Ill Air) blocking my chest. After a few minutes, I opened the Ren Mai, my body and the peristalsis of stomach returned to normal. After I calmed down, I thought to myself: I have never experienced such a temporary palpitation before; I can't let my imagination run wild!

10.2-2 大爆炸 Big Bang

過了一會兒,我不介意剛才發生的事了,又開始自責:我可真不是個東西,這不是人幹的事兒。突然,我又感覺全身都有異動,趕忙平躺在床上了,全身的肉都有輕微的凹凸跳動的現象。凹凸跳動的現象有些加劇了。從命門穴(後腰兩腎處),各發射出一股電弧的感覺沿著體表皮膚,像似水紋一樣擴散;兩股電弧在前腹處相撞了。接著,全身都有大小多個電圈套著肢體和整個身體上下移動,像似在做CT檢查掃描一樣,但我在經曆的是多個電圈上下移動掃描我的身體。兩隻胳臂和兩條腿分別有多個小電圈在上下移動掃描。突然,全身各處湧起氣伴隨著電流,以比讀秒快幾倍的速度,向丹田(如插圖10.2.1-B)匯集。聚集在丹田後,立刻就爆炸了。隨著爆炸,那些碎片氣擴散到了全身各處。

After a while, I stopped caring about what happened and started to blame myself again: I am a piece of shit, this is not what a human being does. Suddenly, I felt something moving all over my body, and I quickly lay flat on the bed. My flesh was slightly bumpy and pulsating. The bumpy and pulsating phenomenon was a little more severe. From the Ming Men acupoint (the two kidneys in the lower back), a feeling of electric arcs was emitted along the skin surface, spreading like water ripples; the two arcs collided in the front abdomen. Then, there were multiple large and small electric circles all over my body, which were wrapped around my limbs and my entire body, moving up and down, just like a CT scan, but I was experiencing multiple electric circles moving up and down to scan my body. There were multiple small electric circles moving up and down on my two arms and two legs. Suddenly, Qi (i.e., Air) surged from all parts of my body, accompanied by electric currents, and gathered towards Dantian (as shown in illustration 10.2.1-B) at a speed several times faster than the countdown. After gathering in Dantian, it immediately exploded. With the explosion, the fragmented Qi (i.e., air) spread to all parts of my body.

我高幸地想:哎呀!大爆炸,百脈震開!我小時候在氣功書上看過這種現象的描寫,會百脈皆開。可是,正在發生的事情和傳說的不一樣。幾秒後,整個身軀,包括臉部的肉都有明顯的凹凸式上下跳動的現象,像似沸騰了著的水麵;我的全身各處都在沸騰和震動。我對自己說:“鎮靜!沉住氣!別慌!” 全身凸凹跳動的現象持續了幾秒後,漸漸地平息了。這時我在床上平躺著,關注著全身各處的異動。

散布在全身各處的氣變得清涼,隨著流動在數百處小範圍內聚集,並伴有電流、陰冷、凸凹地跳動的病氣(或邪氣)的感覺。我意識到了這不是好現象!不是書裏描寫的舒服,涼爽。我感覺那些迷走性風濕氣中幾十股大的,不走經脈,而是徑直地走向心髒,一邊移動一邊還在匯集。有幾股迷走性風濕氣移動得很快,比如說,厘米每秒。

I thought happily: Oh my! Big explosion, all sutras (i.e., the lines in the acupuncture chart, see figs. 10.2.1) are shaken open! When I was a child, I read the description of this phenomenon in a meditation book, that all the sutras will be opened. However, what was happening was different from the legend. After a few seconds, the whole body, including the flesh on my face, had a clear bumpy up and down phenomenon, like the boiling water surface; my whole body was boiling and vibrating. I said to myself: "Calm down! Keep calm! Don't panic!" The bumpy and jumping phenomenon of the whole body continued for a few seconds, and gradually subsided. At this time, I was lying flat on the bed, paying attention to the abnormal movements of various parts of my body.

The air that was scattered all over the body became cool, and as it flowed, it gathered in hundreds of small areas, accompanied by the feeling of electric current, coldness, and uneven beating of diseased air (or evil air). I realized that this was not a good phenomenon! It was not the comfortable and cool feeling described in the book. I felt that dozens of large vagal rheumatic airs did not go through the sutras, but went straight to my heart, gathering as they moved. Some vagal rheumatic airs moved very fast, for example, centimeters per second.

我立刻緊張了,如果迷走性風濕氣侵入心髒;心髒就是一團肌肉,若是這樣怪異地顫抖,那不就是心肌梗塞嗎!我小時候,聽奶奶說過多次。她一次生氣後,在外麵樹蔭下睡著了。半夢半醒之間,她感覺像似有一股氣流進了心髒。從那時起,她就患了心髒病。

保衛心髒,我立刻行動起來了,別的器官都管不了了。我開始用真氣對離心髒近且移動速度快的迷走性風濕氣進行攻擊。好在,那些邪氣流都很脆弱,一被真氣碰到,就散了。很短的時間內,我就擊潰了十幾股迷走性風濕氣流團。這時我發現,幾股主要的風濕氣移動得慢了,大部分風濕氣不移動了。我鎮靜了下來。

I immediately became nervous. If the vagal rheumatic air invaded the heart, and the heart is a mass of muscle, if it trembled strangely like this, wouldn't it be a myocardial infarction!? I was having a Heart Attack! When I was a child, I heard my grandmother talk about these many times. Once she was angry and fell asleep under the shade of a tree outside. Between half asleep and half awake, she felt as if a stream of air entered her heart. From then on, she suffered from heart disease.

I immediately took action to protect my heart, ignoring other organs. I began to use my “true air” to attack the “vagal rheumatic air” that was close to my heart and moved quickly. Fortunately, those “evil airs” were very fragile, and they dispersed once they were touched by my “true air”. In a short period of time, I defeated more than a dozen “vagal rheumatic air” groups. At this time, I found that several major rheumatic airs moved slowly, and most of the rheumatic airs did not move. I calmed down.

10.2.2 Note 10.2.2

插圖10.2.1-2源自古墨西哥,表明古代的美洲有和中國類似的真氣理論(即針灸和氣功理論,參見第12章)。插圖10.2.1-4是公元七世紀,帕卡爾王(Lord Pacal,亦作金童,特拉洛克,獅子王))的靈棺蓋板,刻畫了他墮入地獄的前因後果。圖上部顯示十字架或金剛劍插入了帕卡爾王的腹部,表示他被十字架釘住了,病危了。圖底部他的獅子頭正處於一個火匣子裏,表示帕卡爾王墮入了 “火途” (即地獄,精神病)。火匣子上麵是他的神父的棺材,表示帕卡爾王是被 “他神父過世” 的信息打入地獄的。棺材裏是空的,隻留下了屍體爆炸後遺留下來的三塊兒殘渣(即三塊佛骨舍利,人骨),表明帕卡爾王聽到他神父過世的消息後,體內發生了爆炸,所以他墮入了地獄,即患了精神病。棺材上麵顯示,一根射精的陰莖可以提起棺材,表示帕卡爾王和翠玉女(即玉女)的事實婚姻是治療他的疾病的正確方法,可以使他脫離地獄。

Illustration 10.2.1-2 originated from ancient Mexico, indicating that ancient American had a similar theory of “true air” (i.e. acupuncture and meditation theory; cf. chapter 12) as Chinese. Illustration 10.2.1-4 is the coffin cover of Lord Pacal (aka. Gold Boy, Tlaloc, Jaguar) in the seventh century CE, depicting the cause and effect of his falling into hell. The upper part of the picture shows a cross or “philosopher-stone sword” inserted into his abdomen, indicating that he was crucified, was critically ill. At the bottom of the picture, his lion head is in a fire box, indicating that King Pakal fell into the "fire path" (i.e. hell, mental illness). Above the fire box is his godfather's coffin, indicating that King Pakal was sent to hell by the information that "his godfather had passed away". The coffin is empty, leaving only three pieces of residue left after the corpse exploded (i.e. three pieces of Buddha's bones, human bones), indicating that King Pakal's body exploded after hearing the news of his godfather's death, so he fell into hell, that is, he suffered from mental illness. The coffin is shown with an ejaculating penis that can lift the coffin, indicating that King Pakal's de facto marriage with Chalchiuhtlicue (aka. Jade Girl) is the right way to cure his illness and save him from hell.

10.2-3 我投降了 I surrendered.

我對劉團長對我做過什麽感到迷惑;但我和他的矛盾是我不同意他的 “我盧岩是劉健君的丈夫” 的決定(參見8.2節《死不瞑目》)。我真氣已經很少了(注,聚集和運送真氣需要大量的體力和時間),可這時的我全身都是風濕氣。我已經處於麵對死亡的狀態,投降了。

我跪在床上發誓: “劉健君是我的妻子;劉團長是我嶽父;我會去追求她並和她結婚。” 我不斷地叨咕著: “劉健君她爸是我的嶽父,劉健君是我的媳婦。” 我知道誓言對人的思想有很強的統攝作用。這樣出聲地叨咕,有助於我集中思想和精力,對不讓鬆散意識抵觸和破壞我的主意識,消除心理矛盾大有好處。

I was confused about what Troupe Leader Liu had done to me; but the conflict between me and him was that I disagreed with his decision that "I, Luyan, is Eve Liu's husband" (cf. v. 8.2 "Die with Eyes Open"). I had very little “true air” left (note, gathering and transporting “true air” requires a lot of physical strength and time), but my whole body was full of rheumatism. I was already facing death, surrendered.

I knelt on the bed and swore: "Eve Liu is my wife; Troupe Leader Liu is my father-in-law; I will pursue her and marry her." I kept muttering: "Eve Liu's father is my father-in-law; Eve Liu is my wife." I know that oaths have a strong control over people's thoughts. Mumbling out loud like this helps me concentrate my thoughts and energy and is very helpful in preventing loose consciousness from conflicting and destroying my main consciousness and eliminating psychological contradictions.

我找出了我收藏的針灸經脈圖。真氣在經脈裏會走得快,通暢和增強。我先在經脈圖上籌劃運氣的路線,和打擊風濕症的最短和最有力的角度,再運氣發功對風濕症病處進行攻擊。又擊碎了幾團風濕症後,我發現迷走性風濕症移動的速度變得更慢了。我沿著手少陰心經(如插圖10.2.1-C)運氣;用真氣把心髒包裹了起來。這樣,弱的迷走性風濕症不會有機會靠近心髒。

I found the acupuncture sutra map I collected. The “true air” will move faster, smoother and stronger in the sutras. I first planned the route of “true air” flow on the sutra map, the shortest and most powerful angle to hit the rheumatism, then used “true air” to attack the rheumatism. After breaking up a few more clusters of rheumatism, I found that the vagal rheumatism moved slower. I moved “true air” along the “Shou Shao Yin heart sutra” (as shown in Figure 10.2.1-C), wrapped my heart with “true airs”. In this way, the weak vagal rheumatism would not have the opportunity to get close to my heart.

這時,我認為自己必須吃好睡好,保持健康,才能與全身的迷走性風濕症對抗。如果我的身體健康變差了,就可能什麽時候患了風濕性心髒病,死不了也成了廢人。我向妻子和孩子做了生死離別,沒明說,她們也不懂。我害怕睡夢裏自己不知道保護心髒,所以睡覺前,洗了熱水澡來平衡全身的體溫,以減少做夢。我躺在床上,調息收斂思想,然後熄滅了前意識,把心身的控製權交給了無意識(古作神識)(參考案例1.4《井陽之災》)。佛經上說,這種狀態,人的愈合力極強,等同神佛。

At this time, I thought that I must eat well, sleep well, and stay healthy to fight against the vagal rheumatism in my body. If my physical health deteriorated, I might develop rheumatic heart disease at some point, and I would become a disabled person even if I didn't die. I said goodbye to my wife and children, but I didn't say it clearly, they didn't understand. I was afraid that I didn't know to protect my heart in my dreams, so before going to bed, I took a hot bath to balance the body temperature and reduce dreaming. I lay in bed, regulating my breathing and concentrating my intention, then extinguished the preconscious and handed over the control of the mind and body to the unconscious (anciently known as God-sense; reference case 1.4 Well-Sun Catastrophe). The Buddhist scriptures say that in this state, people have extremely strong healing power, equivalent to Gods and Buddhas.

10.2.3 Note 10.2.3

前麵三小節描述的病症在現代的醫學中稱作皈依失調(Conversion Disorder;如圖10.2.3-1所示),是一種罕見的精神疾病。在隨後幾年與風濕症對抗的過程中,我不斷地研究,現在認為此病是這樣產生的。我從小就敬畏劉團長,想拜他為師(是一種連自己都不清楚知道的向往),第8章中,遇到劉健君後,更是對劉團長有了深刻的愛恨情仇。隨後,我和劉團長的愛恨情仇又持續發展了六年,但我沒見過他,所以在我的幻境中他就是一團白色迷霧。那迷霧是現量(參見11.4.5 識蘊 Sense Node),代表劉團長,是我對劉團長全部感情的和記憶的依附標的物。當我意識到他已經過世了,這信息被我的無意識(古作神識)接收到後,那團迷霧就消失了,因為無意識隻處理現量,而劉團長不再是現量了。這樣,我對劉團長的全部感情和記憶就失去了所依附的標的物,就引起了大混亂,產生了前文的“皈依失調症”。

The symptoms described in the previous three sections are called Conversion Disorder in modern medicine (as shown in Figure 10.2.3-1), which is a rare mental illness. In the process of fighting rheumatism in the following years, I continued to study and now believe that this disease is caused by this. I have been in awe of Troupe Leader Liu since I was a child and wanted to worship him as my teacher (a yearning that I don’t even know myself). In Chapter 8, after meeting Eve Liu, I had a deep “Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred” relationship with Troupe Leader Liu. Subsequently, my “Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred” relationship with Troupe Leader Liu continued to develop for another six years, but I never met him, so in my mind he was a ball of white mist. The mist is the “Present Quantity” (see 11.4.5 Sense Node), representing Troupe Leader Liu, and is the object of my attachment to all my feelings and memories of Troupe Leader Liu. When I realized that he had passed away, this information was received by my unconsciousness (anciently known as God-sense), the ball of mist disappeared, because the unconscious only processes “Present Quantity”, and Troupe Leader Liu is no longer the “Present Quantity”. In this way, all my feelings and memories towards Troupe Leader Liu lost their attachment, which caused great confusion and resulted in the "conversion disorder" mentioned above.

前麵三小節描述的病症是癔症(古作鬼病)中的一種極端現象,稱作聖鬼。插圖10.2.3-2源自古墨西哥,是一位墮入地獄期間的特拉洛克(即金童)。雕像頂部是古墨西哥人對聖鬼的表述。雕像的正麵,聖鬼正用許多代表迷走性風濕症的陰莖攻擊特拉洛克。陰莖代表產生特拉洛克體內迷走性風濕症的原因是他和翠玉女(即玉女)的婚姻糾紛。插圖10.2.3-3是佛教中的金剛降魔杵;其中(4)(8)(9)的頂端部是代表聖鬼的雕塑。聖鬼的本質是慚愧;麵對劉團長,我總是慚愧,是罪人。

前麵三小節描述 “死不瞑目”詛咒在我身上爆發的現象。後來我發現那和西方人所說的 “三個不可饒恕的詛咒” 的意義相同,知道了西方人所說的三個不可饒恕詛咒, “立斃咒,鑽心咒,和奪魂咒” 正是對死不瞑目詛咒所產生的現象的描述。

The illness described in the previous three sections is an extreme form of Hysteria (anciently known as Ghost Illness), called the Holy Ghost. Illustration 10.2.3-2 is from ancient Mexico and is a Tlaloc (Gold Boy) who was in hell. The top of the statue is the ancient Mexican representation of the Holy Ghost. On the front of the statue, the Holy Ghost is attacking Tlaloc with many penises representing vagal rheumatism. The penises represent that the cause of vagal rheumatism in Tlaloc is his marriage dispute with Chalchiuhtlicue (Jade Girl). Illustration 10.2.3-3 is the “Philosopher-Stone Pestle” in Buddhism; the top of (4), (8), and (9) are sculptures representing the Holy Ghost. The essence of the Holy Ghost is shame; in front of Troupe Leader Liu, I always feel ashamed and am a sinner.

The first three sections describe the phenomena of the "Die with Eyes Open" curse erupting in me. Later I found that it had the same meaning as the "three unforgivable curses" mentioned by Westerners. I learned that the three unforgivable curses mentioned by Westerners, "Avada Kedavra, Imperius, and Cruciatus”, are exactly the descriptions of the phenomena caused by the “Die with Eyes Open”.

 

10.3 去找劉健君結婚 Went to Marry Eve Liu

大爆炸後的第二天早晨,我醒了,發現自己沒死,很興奮,感覺全身舒暢,思維敏捷,精力充沛,變得更加歡喜了。恰巧我哥哥從中國上海打來電話。談了幾句之後,他驚訝地對我說:“盧欣(我妹妹)說你病了,我不信,所以給你打電話了。聽著!我不懂神精病,但我知道,你的聲音變了,像似做了心髒搭橋手術似的。開始時我都沒聽出來是你。你的語速特別快,我是沒數,但我估計著,你的語速比平時快50-80%。你說話也太快了,我都反應不過來。另外你現在異常興奮。這些都是精神病的症狀。你現在人在哪兒呢?”

我回答:“在家裏的後院兒。”

哥哥立刻說:“那可不行!現在你這麽興奮,我是真不懂;但過一會兒你可能暈倒了呢!你撞了哪裏,流血了,家裏又沒別人,那血就流幹了,死了!趕緊回屋躺在床上。” 我向屋裏走時,感覺身體漸漸地變得沉重了;全身又有了昨天的風濕症的感覺。哥哥在電話裏說:“你的聲音變回來了!慢慢地走,躺倒在床上。你趕緊回國吧!”

The morning after the explosion, I woke up and found that I was not dead, was very excited. I felt relaxed, my mind was sharp, and I was full of energy, became even happier. My brother happened to call me from Shanghai, China. After a few words, he said to me in surprise: "Xin Lu (my sister) said that you were sick, I didn't believe it, so I called you. Listen! I don't understand mental illness, but I know that your voice has changed, as if you had a heart bypass surgery. At first, I didn't recognize it as you. You speak very fast. I didn't count, but I estimated that your speed was 50-80% faster than usual. You speak too fast, I can't react. In addition, you are abnormally excited now. These are symptoms of mental illness. Where are you now?"

I answered, "In the backyard of my house."

Brother immediately said, "That won't do! I don't understand why you are so excited now, but you might faint in a while! If you hit something and bleed, there is no one else at home, the blood will dry up then you will die! Go back to the house and lie on the bed." As I walked into the house, I felt my body gradually become heavy; my whole body felt the rheumatism I had yesterday. My brother said on the phone, "Your voice has returned! Walk slowly and lie down on the bed. Go back China quickly!"

10.3-2 病態 Sickness

這時,我想著本書第2章《桃花劫》裏算命先生的說法,“桃花運來了,誰也沒辦法,趕緊去娶人家的女兒入洞房,否則,你活不過一百天”。我認為自己隻有一百天的壽命了,開始辦簽證,準備回國找劉健君結婚。我這是依照本書2.4節的說法, “被人家用死不暝目詛咒了,死不了也活不長;解法就是照著人家下咒人的願望去做。” 這時,我並不真正地懂得《桃花劫》的道理。

這時,我懷疑所有的人。我去領事館辦簽證時,認為劉健君派人暗中幫助我。飛機上,我認為劉健君安排人在暗示我:如何保護我自己的心髒。那時,我時刻精神內斂,注意著自己體內風濕症的走動,不停地用真氣包裹著心髒,驅趕著風濕症。

At this time, I thought about what the fortune teller said in Chapter 2 of this book, "Peach Flower Catastrophe", "When ‘peach flower fortune’ comes, no one can stop it, hurry up and marry the man's daughter into the bridal chamber, otherwise, you will not live for more than a hundred days." I thought I only had a hundred days to live, so I started to apply for a visa and prepare to return to China to marry Eve Liu. I was following the statement in Section 2.4 of this book, "If someone curses you with ‘Die with Eyes Open’, you will not live long even you didn’t die instantly; the only solution is to do what the person who cursed you wishes." At this time, I did not really understand the theory of Peach Flower Catastrophe.

At this time, I suspected everyone. When I went to the consulate to apply for a visa, I thought Eve Liu sent someone to help me secretly. On the plane, I thought Eve Liu arranged for someone to hint me how to protect my own heart. At that time, I was always introverted, paying attention to the movement of rheumatism in my body, and constantly wrapping my heart with “true airs” to drive away rheumatism.

10.3-3 癔症 Hysteria

大爆炸發生兩三天後,我懷疑那是癔症(Hysteria)。癔症就是不能正確理解第12章中的幻覺現象,認為那是鬼靈精怪或外星生物,又常常琢磨,就與那些他或她認為的鬼靈精怪的幻覺現象建立了聯係。若認為對方有惡意,便生惶惑。常常回憶那些現象會招致那些幻覺再現,於是惑又生恐,恐又生惑,思想身體經曆相互呼應,就走入了極端,患上了癔症。癔症古作鬼病,是因為古人以過去為陰,未來為陽,而且那些幻覺與過去的經曆相關,所以稱幻境為陰間。陰,佛教中作蘊,所以塵世的鬼怪佛教中亦作蘊魔。

癔症的治療辦法就是正確理解那些幻覺的現象和本質。我年輕時練習氣功(參見第12章),就懂那些現象,認為自己對癔症免疫。我開始測試那些風濕症是否是幻覺,測試他們與意識的相應關係。得出的結論是沒關係,那風濕症確實是大爆炸,那次超大規模的觸覺幻覺遺留下來的後遺症,是真實的身體上的病症。

Two or three days after the Big Bang, I suspected that it was hysteria. Hysteria is the inability to correctly understand the hallucinations in Chapter 12, thinking that they are ghosts or alien creatures, and often thinking about them can establish a connection with those ghosts and hallucinations that he or she thinks are ghosts or aliens. If you think that the component has malicious intentions, you will be confused. Frequently recalling those phenomena will cause those hallucinations to reappear, so confusion will lead to fear, and fear will lead to confusion. The thoughts and body experiences echo each other, then they go to extremes and suffer from hysteria. Hysteria, anciently called as Ghost Disease, because the ancients viewed the past as Gloominess and the future as Light; and that those hallucinations relate to the past experiences, so call the hallucinations as Netherworld. Netherworld, in Buddhism, is called Node World, so those hallucinations can be called “Node Demons”.

The cure for hysteria is to correctly understand the phenomena and nature of those hallucinations. Because I practiced Meditation (cf. chapter 12) when I was young, I understood those phenomena and thought I was immune to hysteria. I began to test whether those rheumatisms were hallucinations, testing their correspondence with intention. The conclusion reached was that it was not correlated, that that rheumatism was indeed the aftermath of the Big Bang, the legacy of that super-massive tactile hallucination, and that rheumatism was a real physical ailment.

10.3-4尋香 Seeking-Incense

2011年10月,我回到了沈陽父母家,我媽媽在中國醫科大學精神病院院長王哲教授的指導下,偷偷地把利培酮口服液參進了我的飲食裏。利培酮對我有很多副作用,隨著藥劑量的加大,我覺得全身每一個器官都有功能上的毛病,全身難受。每天我都睡15個小時以上,除了有時運氣向體外排泄風濕氣,沒什麽別的精力了。我要找劉健君,和她結婚,讓她爸爸瞑目;可我說話沒邏輯,家人都認為我在說瘋話,沒人幫我,什麽事也沒幹成。

仿佛聽說,他們詢問了,說是有劉團長那麽個人,神叨叨的,早就過世了。我說的那個祝老師也已經過世了。我委托妹妹打聽幾個人,回複說,“問了,沒找到。” 有的,回電話的人說,“沒那個人!”

In October 2011, I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, where my mother secretly entered oral risperidone into my diet under the guidance of Prof. Wang Zhe, director of the psychiatric hospital at China Medical University. Risperidone has many side effects on me. As the dosage increases, I feel that every organ in my body has functional problems, and I feel uncomfortable all over. I sleep more than 15 hours a day. Except for sometimes using my “true air” to excrete rheumatic gas from my body, I have no energy for anything else. I want to find Eve Liu, marry her, and let her father rest in peace; but my words are illogical, and my family thinks I am talking nonsense. No one helps me, therefore have not accomplished anything.

I seem to have heard that they asked about this person, Troupe Leader Liu, who was a mysterious person and had passed away a long time ago. The Teacher Zhu I was talking about had also passed away. I asked my sister to ask a few people, and she replied, "I asked, but didn't find him." “Yes, the person who answered the phone said, ’There is no such person!’"

10.3.4 尋香是什麽意思?Note 10.3.4, what does "seeking incense” mean?

在中華文化中,“尋香”在凡間的含義是“眾靈”前往器世間投生為人、為狗等。“尋香”的香字義為女戒的“五百威儀十萬八千魅力”比男戒的“三千威儀八萬四千細行”(參見16.2節)多出來的部分,義為玉女的美德熏於四方。本書中作者我從墮入地獄開始直到我和劉健君結婚,就是一位尋香。因為玉女(女神)的外貌是無記性的,現在我的頭腦中沒有劉健君的外表形象,我辨別她就是靠辨別她的“戒香”(即五百威儀十萬八千魅力)。插圖10.3-1是《墨西哥法典》(參見15.4節)中雨劫階段(即尋香階段)的墨西哥。他要找的是圖1中的那個很大的女人,即地表女神翠玉女(即夏娃,如圖2所示)。

In Chinese culture, in the mortal world, the meaning of “seeking incense” is the “crowd of spirits” going to rebirth becoming a human, a dog, etc. in the vessel world. The word "incense" in "seeking incense" means the extra part of the "500 Majesties 108,000 Charms" of the woman precepts compared to the "3,000 Majesties 84,000 Enchantments” of man precepts (see Section 16.2), which means that the virtues of the Jade Girl’s (Goddess’) precept fragrance smoking to four directions. In this book, I am a being who “seeks incense” from the time I fell into hell until I married Eve Liu. Because the appearance of the Jade Girl (Goddess) is memoryless, I don't have her bodily appearance in my mind now, and only I can identify her by identifying her "precept incense" (that is, 500 Majesties 108,000 Charms). Illustration 10.3-1 is Mexico during the rain catastrophe stage (i.e. the stage of seeking incense) in Mexican Codex (see section 15.4). He is looking for the big woman in Figure 1, the earth surface Goddess, Chalchiuhtlicue (i.e. Eve, as shown in Figure 2).

10.3-5 研究精神病 Study Psychosis

兩周後,我的心情有些安靜了,去書店買了中醫針灸教材,開始按照真氣的流注方向,引導全身的真氣運行。風濕症暫時控製住了。一個月後,父母兄妹都說我瘋了,而且他們在我的飲食裏放了藥。我不相信,也不認為自己病了;可家人都這麽說,讓我吃藥,我也隻能順從了。找劉健君的念頭漸漸地淡了。

我小時候,梁伯姨父跟我說過多次,醫院85-95%的精神病醫生不懂精神病,所以我不信任精神病醫生,就自己買了幾本心理學的書。隨後多年,我逐漸地相信了劉團長、劉建君、和那個精神病愛好者前女友的說法(參見4.8,7.5.1,和8.7節) ,有了自己的精神病治療原則(參見10.6節)。

Two weeks later, I felt a little calmer, went to a bookstore and bought some Chinese medicine and acupuncture textbooks. I began to guide the flow of “true air” throughout my body according to the direction of “true air” flow. The rheumatism was temporarily under control. A month later, my parents, brothers and sisters all said I was crazy, and they put medicine in my diet. I didn't believe it, and I didn't think I was sick; but my family said so and asked me to take medicine, so I had to obey. The idea of ??looking for Eve Liu gradually faded.

When I was a child, Uncle Liang told me many times that 85-95% of psychiatrists in hospitals do not understand mental illness, so I did not trust psychiatrists and bought a few psychology books myself. In the following years, I gradually believed what Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu, and the ex-girlfriend who was a psychiatric enthusiast said (cf. vs. 4.8, 7.5.1, and 8.7), developed my own principles for treating mental illness (cf. v. 10.6).

10.3-6 巴甫洛夫樓 Pavlov Building

妹妹安排我和王哲教授見麵。我請他幫忙找劉健君;他認為找她沒用。但是,剛見麵時,我聽說他是醫大的,隨口問了句:“你知道巴甫洛夫樓不?” 他聽了,愣住了,站了起來,思索了很久說:“我知道!可那時我隻是個研究生,沒資格進那個樓。” 事後,我回憶起了他的怪異,在互聯網上查找,發現了1950年代中國關於醫學哲學的爭議。中國傳統的醫學全是唯心主義的,對馬克思主義是否適用於醫學進行了辯論。

注10.3-6,我在2014年寫回憶錄時注意到了此事,聯想起了3.4節《巴甫洛夫樓》中梁伯出差到醫大的巴甫洛夫樓,又聯想起了7.4節《劉健君給我的印象》中劉健君特別告訴我這棟樓,我得出了結論:巴甫洛夫樓就是4.5節《真人醫學實驗報紙新聞》中所說的女子組集中培訓的地方。

My sister arranged a meeting between me and Prof. Wang Zhe. I asked him to help me find Eve Liu. He thought it would be useless to find her. However, when we first met, I heard that he was from the China Medical University and casually asked, "Do you know the Pavlov Building?" When he heard that, he froze, stood up, thought for a long time, and said, "I know! But at that time, I was just a graduate student, not qualified to enter that building." Afterward, I recalled his weirdness, looked it up on the Internet, and discovered a controversy about the philosophy of medicine in China in the 1950s. Traditional Chinese medicine was all about Theism, and there was a debate about the applicability of Marxism to medicine.

Note 10.3-6, I noticed this when I was writing my memoirs in 2014. It reminded me of Section 3.4 "Pavlov Building" where Uncle Liangwas on a business trip to the Medical University's Pavlov Building and reminded me of Section 7.4 "My Impression of Eve Liu", where she specifically told me about this building. I concluded that Pavlov Building is the place where the girl group was trained in Section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiments".

10.3-7 病情沒好轉 No Improvement in Condition

在2012年3月,我回到了多倫多,開始學習心理學和精神病學。不久,我進了SPL Consultants Ltd工作。這時,我仍有妄想、敵視、懷疑等症狀;在本質上,病情沒有好轉。

在2012年春有冰雨,我家後院的桃樹沒開花。幾十年來第一次,我的臉上沒長桃花蘚。

In March 2012, I returned to Toronto and began studying psychology and psychiatry. Shortly after, I went to work for SPL Consultants Ltd. At this time, I was still experiencing delusions, hostility, and skepticism; in essence, my schizophrenia was not getting better.

In the spring of 2012, there was freezing rain and the peach tree in my backyard did not bloom. For the first time in decades, I didn't have “peach flower tinea” on my face.

 

10.4 劉團長的遺言 Troupe Leader Liu’s Will

二零一二年我在SPL Consultants Ltd工作期間,總是懷疑劉健君在背後指使人與我作對,認為她在繼續她爸爸的靈魂轉世實驗。我不明白靈魂轉世是怎麽回事,但我聽說過:這種作法,失敗了,被作法的人必死。我認為隻有諸佛(成熟的人)的靈魂是一樣的,也就是說作法的人必須是佛,而被作法的人必須成佛,才能完成靈魂轉世,避免一死。我開始有意地學習佛法。可是,什麽是靈魂?什麽是佛?什麽是靈魂轉世?我都不知道,隻是盲目地學習佛法,試著寫一本關於《禪》的佛學書。

When I was working at SPL Consultants Ltd in 2012, I always suspected that Eve Liu was behind the scenes instigating people to oppose me and believed that she was continuing her father's soul reincarnation experiment. I don't understand what soul reincarnation all is about, but I've heard about it: this kind of practice, if it fails, the person being polished dies. I thought that only the souls of the Buddhas (mature people) were the same, which meant that the person performing the reincarnation doings had to be a Buddha, and the person being polished had to become a Buddha to complete the reincarnation and avoid death. I began to study Buddhism intentionally, but what is the soul? What is the Buddha? What is reincarnation? I didn't know any of it, I just studied Buddhism blindly and tried to write a Buddhist book on meditation.

我患了胃腸潰瘍,時常肚子疼,總是喝大量的水來衝淡有刺激的胃腸分泌,以避免胃腸表麵被灼傷,和疏通瘴氣。2012年夏,一次喝了大量的熱水,水不很熱,但喝的量大,所以胃腸被燙傷了。我試著混合涼水和熱水,用手指試水溫來發現合適喝的溫度,發現手指有點涼的感覺才適合。這時,我忽然想起了梁伯姨父在1991年給我留遺言時對我說的話: “記住!溫水,手指的感覺有點兒涼是適合喝的溫度(參見4.10節《遺囑》)。” 這時,我意識到了那是劉團長留給我的遺囑。

I suffer from gastrointestinal ulcers and have stomach pains from time to time and always drink plenty of water to flush out irritating gastrointestinal secretions to avoid burning the surface of stomach and intestines and to unblock the miasma. In the summer of 2012, I drank a lot of hot water at once. The water was not very hot, but I drank a lot, so my stomach and intestines were burned. I tried to mix cold water and hot water and used my fingers to test the water temperature to find the right temperature for drinking. I found that it was suitable when my fingers felt a little cool. At this time, I suddenly remembered what Uncle Liangsaid to me when he left me a will in 1991: "Remember! Warm water, the temperature that your fingers feel a little cool is the right temperature for drinking (see Section 4.10 "Will")." At this time, I realized that it was the will left to me by Troupe Leader Liu.

第一條遺囑是個古代的故事。一個人得了渴病,需要不停地喝水。大量的水可以緩解他的病症,延續他的生命。這個人總是隨身帶著兩桶水,用扁擔挑著走,以便隨時有水喝。每到一個村子或者新的地方,他都先找井。在井邊喝完水後,再裝滿兩隻水桶,然後挑著兩桶水再繼續趕路。我明白了,劉團長有計劃地陷害了我,這就是證據。我被氣得發暈。此後,我時常在喝水的時候,想起他對我的細心關懷。

The first will is an ancient story. A man used to be sick with thirst and needed to drink water constantly. A large amount of water would relieve his illness and extend his life. This man always carried two buckets of water with him and carried them on a flat stretcher so that he would always have water to drink. Whenever he arrived at a village or a new place, he first looked for a well. After drinking at the well, he would then fill up the two buckets and pick the two buckets before continuing his journey. I realized that Troupe Leader Liu had systematically set me up, and this is the proof. I was so furious that I was dizzy. After that, when I was drinking water, I often thought of his careful attention to me.

注10.4-1,插圖10.4.1-3是一位尋香(即雨劫中的墨西哥,又名特拉洛克,金童,獅子,約活躍於公元1325年)。他的右肩上的綠色條紋表示不斷地有水流流進他的身體。圖3上部的組合表示他的生命懸係於不斷地喝大量的水來稀釋刺激性的胃腸分泌。

Note 10.4-1, Illustration 10.4.1-3 is a “Seeking Incense” (i.e., Mexico in the Rain Catastrophe, a.k.a. Tlaloc, Gold Boy, and Jaguar, who was active circa C.E. 1325). The green stripe on his right shoulder indicates the constant flow of water into his body. The combination in the upper part of Figure 3 indicates that his life hangs in the balance of constantly drinking large quantities of water to dilute the irritating gastrointestinal secretions.

10.4-2 灌頂 Anointing

2012年冬,我從SPL辭職了,在家編寫《四聖諦》(參見第13至16章)。2013年夏, 我的風濕症變嚴重了,很悲觀,認為如果我病了,身體虛弱了,風濕病就會令我喪命。我用氣功運氣治療風濕,可是真氣少,力量弱。

一天,我悲觀消極地回憶著劉團長在世時,有他的照顧,我工作在哪裏都受到重用。他過世後六、七年了,我混得什麽都不是,眼淚不斷地流出來。我一邊哭,一邊運氣治療自己的風濕症,忽然感覺頭頂百會穴位(參見插圖10.4.2-2)有氣流像似湧泉一樣強烈。我開始正式一邊哭一邊練習氣功了。強烈溫暖的真氣流像似瀑布一樣從頭頂流下來,所到之處,一些風濕就好了。

In the winter of 2012, I resigned from SPL and stayed at home to write my book of Four Cruxes (see chapters 13 to 16). In the summer of 2013, my rheumatism became more serious, and I became very pessimistic, thinking that if I became sick and weak, rheumatism would kill me. I used meditation to treat rheumatism, but I had little “true airs” and their powers was weak.

One day, I was pessimistic and negative, recalling that when Troupe Leader Liu was alive, he took care of me, and I was highly utilized wherever I worked. Six or seven years after his death, I was a nobody, and tears kept flowing out of my eyes. While crying, I was practicing meditation to treat my rheumatism. Suddenly I felt a strong flow of “true air” like a gushing spring at the Bai Hui Cave (see Illustration 10.4.2-2) on the top of my head. I began to formally practice meditation while crying. The strong and warm “true airs” fell from the top of my head like a waterfall, and wherever it passed, some rheumatism was cured.

我意識到了,這是慈悲喜舍,此四無量心的力量。我一看時間,是正午,明白了,子午卯酉是練氣功的好時間。這時的氣感強烈,是因為我的悲傷和此時正是中午。我為自己設計了 “活出喪” 。中午家裏沒人時,我在後院燒我自己的工程資料、書籍等,來祭奠那個一心想當工程師的盧岩死了,營造悲、舍的心情。同時,我意識內斂在頭頂的百會穴,用灌頂來治療風濕症。

隨後,我在打坐運氣治療風濕時,也放悲傷的音樂。就這樣,逐漸地,我身上的風濕得到了治療和控製。幾天後,隻有後背的膏肓、神堂、嘻嘻三處穴位(參見插圖10.4.2.4-2,3,4)治不好。

I realized that it was Mercifulness Sorrowfulness Delightfulness and Renunciation, the power of these four infinite hearts. I looked at the time, it was noon and realized that Zi Wu Mao You (those are midnight, morning 6 o’clock, noon, and evening 6 o’clock) are good times to practice meditation. The strong “true air” at this time was due to my sadness and the fact that it was noon. I designed a “living funeral” for myself. At noon, when no one was home, I burned my own engineering books in the backyard to pay tribute to the death of Luyan, who had wanted to be an engineer, to create a feeling of renunciation and sadness. At the same time, I internalized my intention at the Bai Hui cave on the top of my head to treat rheumatism with anointing.

Subsequently, I also played sad music while meditating for treating rheumatism. In this way, gradually, the rheumatism in my body was treated and controlled. After a few days, only the three acupoints on my back, namely, Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi (see figs 10.4.2.4-2, 3, 4)) could not be cured.

10.4-2 Note 10.4-2

二零一四年,我寫完《盧岩的回憶錄》後研究這條 “足太陽膀胱經” (如圖10.4.2-4)。從名字來看,這條經脈主宰陽綱之氣。劉團長在我的後背上插了三支金剛降魔杵(如圖3),或說刻下了六個字:膏肓,神堂,和嘻嘻。根據造字法,膏肓義為無藥可醫的死肉。神堂義為上帝的法庭。嘻嘻是前意識適悅的聲音。前意識古作夏娃識。我的嘻嘻穴被鎖死了,是因為劉健君(玉女,女神,夏娃)對我生氣。歡樂的玉女是福,悲傷的玉女是殃,所以我的喜根(即嘻嘻穴)被鎖死了。我沒辦法運用四無量心中的喜心來完全治療我的風濕症。

In 2014, after I finished writing "Luyan's Memoirs", I studied this "foot sun bladder sutra" (see fig. 10.4.2-4). Judging from the name, this sutra dominates the “Godly Leading Air”. Troupe Leader Liu inserted three “Philosopher-Stone Pestles” (see figs. 3) into my back, or rather carved six hieroglyphics on my back: Gaohuang, Shentang, and Xixi. According to the method of creating hieroglyphics, Gaohuang means dead meat that cannot be cured by medicine. Shentang means the court of God. Xixi is the pleasant sound of the preconscious. The preconscious was called Eve-sense in ancient times. My Xixi cave was locked because Eve Liu (Jade Girl, Goddess, Eve) was angry with me. A happy Jade Girl is a Fortune, and a sad Jade Girl is a Misfortune, so my “Delight Root” (i.e. Xixi acupoint) was locked. I couldn't use the “Delight Heart” of the four infinite hearts to completely cure my rheumatism.

插圖5是雨劫中的墨西哥,又名金童,特拉洛克,美洲獅,就是中華神話中的哪吒。他的右腳被畫成了一麵 “常常冒煙的鏡子” ,表示他的神足有缺失。因為他以前和翠玉女打架,把女神氣哭了,所以他的喜根(即嘻嘻穴)被鎖死了。 “常常冒煙” 表示他常常對此生氣,因為 “喜根” 被鎖死了,沒有喜,所以他不能自己治愈他的病;或說因為沒有喜,他不能自己從地獄裏爬上來。“鏡子” 表示他從此事懂得了女神。左腳下的輪子表示他的生命懸係於不斷地朝著他和翠玉女的婚姻結合前進。在《墨西哥法典》(參見15.4節)雨劫就是這樣定義的,因為墨西哥心中的翠玉女常常哭泣,所以墨西哥的世界裏常常下雨。

Illustration 5 is Mexico in the rain catastrophe, also known as the Gold Boy, Tlaloc, and the Jaguar, which is the Nezha in Chinese mythology. His right foot is painted as a "mirror that often smokes", indicating that his divine foot is defective. Because he had a fight with the Jade Girl (Chalchiuhtlicue) before, which made the goddess cry, his delight root (i.e. Xixi acupoint) was locked. "Often smoking" means that he is often angry about this, because the "delight root" is locked, without delight, he cannot cure his illness by himself; or because he has no Delight, he cannot climb out of hell by himself. "Mirror" means that he understands Goddess from this incident. The wheel under Mexico’s left foot indicates that his life hangs on moving constantly toward his marital union with Chalchiuhtlicue (the Jade Girl). In the Mexican Codex (cf. section 15.4) “Rain Catastrophe” is defined in this way, as it often rains in the Mexican world because the Jade Girl (Chalchiuhtlicue) of the Mexican heart often weeps.

 

10.5 宿命通 Fate Through

2014年春,我完成了用英語編寫的四聖諦,本書13到16章的雛形,可是沒地方發表,實際也是寫得不好。我從中學到了很多佛學知識,為後來的學習和覺悟奠定了基礎。

我回憶並回去參觀了我來加拿大後居住和工作過的地方,發現那裏的人都和我剛來加拿大時一樣,還是那樣的表情,那樣的行為和工作方式。我明白了:世界沒變,是我自己變了。我覺得自己的心病好了,可以工作了。

前幾年的瘋狂經曆讓我體會了客觀環境受主觀心性增上的現象。業是身、口、意行為的積累,即身口意的習氣。業由心造,境隨業轉。心有淨染,故境有自在及不自在。染心為業所拘,則境不能自在。淨心無所掛礙,則境隨心自如。天見寶嚴之地,而魚見乃為窟宅;人見是清涼水,鬼見是膿河猛火,皆由業因差殊。

In the spring of 2014, I completed the Four Cruxes in English, a prototype of chapters 13 through 16 in this book, but there was no place to publish it, and it was poorly written. I learned a lot about Buddhism and laid the foundation for later study and enlightenment.

I reminisced and went back to visit the places where I had lived and worked since I came to Canada and realized that the people there were the same as they had been when I first came to Canada, still looked the same, acted the same, and worked the same way. I realized: the world hadn't changed; it was me who had changed. I felt that my mental illness has been cured and I can work again.

The crazy experiences of the past years have made me realize the phenomena that the objective environment is affected by the subjective heart (i.e. mind). Karma is the accumulation of behavioral habits of body, speech and heart, that is, the habits of body, speech and heart. Karma is created by the heart, and the environment changes with karma. The heart is maculate or immaculate, so the environment is self-sufficiency and being detained. The maculate heart is detained by karma, then environment can’t be self-sufficient. Immaculate heart has nothing to worry and hinder, then environment goes along heart as it is. God sees a precious majestic land, while fish see it as a ruined house; people see it as cool water, while ghosts see it as a pus river and fierce fire, all due to the difference of karmic reasons.

10.5-2 宿命通 Fate Through

二零一四年五月,我到Thurber Engineering Ltd工作。沒幾天,我就聽到了這個工作是我以前Davroc的老板桫欏給我聯係的。一個月後,工作和生活中,我又認為劉健君在背後和我做對了。有些工地的場景讓我觸景生情,偶爾感覺肚子裏到處都在動,偶爾感覺肚子疼。這讓我感到解決和劉健君的恩怨情仇已經迫在眉睫。

我的情緒變得很不穩定,想起過去的高興事就笑,又想起來過去的傷心事就流淚。一天,在公司的實驗室裏,我在檢測材料樣品,一個同事突然興奮地從高處跳跑過我的背後。我大吃一驚,被嚇得頭發都立起來了,說話聲音也變了。在那驚詫的一瞬間,我仿佛聽見劉團長在另外一個房間裏談論我,在向別人介紹我在想什麽。我回憶起了我約一歲時,劉團長為我蒙眼睛時的景象,回憶起了那時我和劉健君定親的事(參見第一章的《娃娃婚約》)。

In May 2014, I started working at Thurber Engineering Ltd. A few days later, I heard that my former boss at Davroc, Sal Fasullo, had helped me for this job. A month later, at work and in life, I thought that Eve Liu was doing something behind my back. Some scenes at the construction site made me emotional, and sometimes I felt my stomach moving all over the place, and sometimes I felt a stomach-ache. This made me feel that it was urgent to resolve the gratitude resentment love and hatred disputes between Eve Liu and me.

My mood became very unstable. I would laugh when I thought of happy affair in the past, and cry when I thought of sad affair in the past. One day, in the company's laboratory, I was testing material samples, and a colleague suddenly jumped from a high place excitedly and ran behind me. I was shocked, my hair stood up, and my voice changed. In that moment of surprise, I seemed to hear Troupe Liu talking about me in another room, introducing what I was thinking to others. I recalled the scene when he blindfolded me when I was about one year old and recalled the engagement between me and Eve Liu at that time (see “Children Marriage Contract" in Chapter 1).

後來,我仔細辨認,覺得那個聲音不是劉團長的。我從小就在找他。在我六七歲的時候,我以為我奶奶的一個侄子是劉團長,我聽到的聲音就是他的聲音。十幾歲的時候,我發現我要找的人並不是他。那時,不知道為什麽,我就是覺得自己在找一個人。後來,我一心想找一位在沈陽的大神級算命先生,並且拜他為師。1996 年,我遇到了劉健君,就知道了我要找的人是她爸爸(即劉團長)。但那時,我並不記得我在約一歲時已經和她訂婚的事。我甚至不知道自己為什麽要找一個人,要找誰,又怎麽知道她爸爸就是我要找的人?我找她爸爸隻是一種無意識的興趣感覺。我是從和劉健君的談話(參見7.5節)知道她爸爸懂佛教的。

Later, I carefully identified the voice and felt that it was not Troupe Leader Liu's. I have been looking for him since I was a child. When I was six or seven years old, I thought one of my grandmother's nephews was Troupe Leader Liu, and the voice I heard was his voice. When I grew up to a teenager, I found that the person I was looking for was not him. At that time, I didn’t know why, but I just felt that I was looking for someone. Later, I was determined to find a great fortune teller in Shenyang and worship him as my teacher. In 1996, I met Eve Liu and knew that the person I was looking for was her father (that is, Troupe Leader Liu). But at that time, I didn’t remember that I was engaged to her when I was about one year old. I didn’t even know why I was looking for someone, who I was looking for, and how did I know that her father was the person I was looking for? I was looking for her father just out of an unconscious interest. I knew that her father understood Buddhism from my conversation with Eve Liu (see Section 7.5).

10.5-2 Note 10.5-2

回憶出了三歲之前的事,我就覺悟到了劉團長留給我的宿命任務,即完成此實驗的《實驗報告》。實驗內容參見4.5《真人醫學實驗的報紙新聞》。這在佛教裏叫宿命通。這很難,因為人在3歲左右時,隨著語言能力的形成,記憶模式和記憶提取模式都發生了變化,正常的人都不能回憶出3歲以前的事;但在精神病人中回憶出三歲之前事的不罕見。

古墨西哥人用尖頂帽(有山的含義)來表示 “宿命通”的困難和重要意義(如圖10.5)。圖2是一位在地獄(即患有精神病)的特拉洛克(又名金童,美洲獅)。手中拖著個孩子,表示他回憶出了約一歲時,他的神父給他做肉眼通(參見第3章),使他患上了 “嬰幼兒神經發育失調症” (如圖4所示)。

After recalling the affairs before my age of three, I realized the fate mission that Troupe Leader Liu had left for me, which was to complete the "Experimental Report". For the content of the experiment, please refer to section 4.5 "Newspaper News of Real Human Medical Experiments". This is called “Fate Through” in Buddhism. This is difficult because when people are about 3 years old, as language ability is formed, memory patterns and memory retrieval patterns change. Normal people cannot recall affairs before the age of 3; but it is not uncommon for mental patients to recall affairs before the age of three.

Ancient Mexicans used pointed hat (with meaning of mountain) to represent the difficulty and significance of “Fate Through” (see Figure 10.5). Figure 2 shows Tlaloc (also known as Gold Boy, Jaguar) in hell (i.e. suffering from mental illness). He is holding a child in his hand, indicating that he recalls that when he was about one year old, his godfather made him “flesh eye through” (see chapter 3), which caused him to suffer from “infant neurodevelopmental disorder” (see Figure 4).

圖3是雕像2的側麵。左麵,特拉洛克在他神父的懷裏取暖表示他接受了他的神父,接受了人神契約(參見16.2節)。右側頭頂著無字墓碑的人是古代的特拉洛克。特拉洛克在古代特拉洛克的懷裏取暖,表示他已經意識到了自己是金童(即新的特拉洛克),發現了自己前世的足跡,知道了自己的宿命。

Figure 3 is a side view of statue 2. On the left, Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of his godfather, indicating that he has accepted his godfather and the contract between man and God (see Section 16.2). The person on the right with the wordless tombstone on his head is the ancient Tlaloc. Tlaloc warms himself in the arms of the ancient Tlaloc, indicating that he has realized that he is a Gold Boy (i.e. a new Tlaloc), has discovered the footprints of his previous life, and knows his fate.

10.5-3 更多證據 More Evidence

2014年6月,我決定第四次專程回國去找劉健君。回國前,我和朋友肖漢傑談起了1996-1997年,我在東北大學時的事(參見8.4節)。那時他是東北大學機械係的老師。他驚訝地說: “哎呀!那時候我就聽說你們研究生宿舍那兒有人琢磨人(注,義為上帝在打磨它選中的人)。十來年了,我都不知道。原來那個被琢磨的人就是你!你瘋得和別人不一樣!你回去,找著那幫人,把事情說清楚,病就好了。”

我回到沈陽父母家後,媽媽和妹妹幫我聯係了沈陽炮兵學院剛卸任的王校長。他說我說的那位祝老師,即前文第7章中我和劉健君的介紹人,早就移民加拿大了,而且他早就過世了。王校長說,他們學校以前,就隻有一位校長姓劉;我所說的劉校長(即劉團長)與他們學校的劉校長不符。人家是高級幹部,情況不符,不能透漏消息。他還說,那位劉校長早就過世了,他沒聽說他的女兒拿了全額獎學金去美國讀博士。他在這學校已經三十多年了,如果有這事,他應該聽說了。王校長還說,我是被騙了,是別人冒充了他們的劉校長。

In June 2014, I decided to return to China for the fourth time to look for Eve Liu. Before returning to China, my friend Hanjie Xiao and I talked about my time at Northeastern University in 1996-1997 (see Section 8.4). At that time, he was a teacher in the Department of Mechanical Engineering at Northeastern University. He was surprised and said, "Oh! At that time, I heard that someone was polishing people (note, meaning that God was polishing the people had been chosen) in your graduate dormitory. It has been more than ten years, and I didn't know. It turns out that the person being polished is you! Your psychosis is different from others! Go back, find those people, explain the affair clearly, and your illness will be cured."

After I returned to my parents' home in Shenyang, my mother and sister helped me contact the recently discharged Principal Wang of the Shenyang Artillery Academy. He said that the Teacher Zhu I mentioned, the introducer of Eve Liu and I in Chapter 7, had long since immigrated to Canada, and that he had long since passed away. Principal Wang said that their school had only one principal with the surname Liu before; the Principal Liu I mentioned (that is, Troupe Leader Liu) was not the same as the Principal Liu of their school. He was a senior cadre, and the situation did not match, so the news could not be disclosed. He also said that Principal Liu had long since passed away, and he had not heard that his daughter had received a full scholarship to study for a doctorate in the United States. He had been in this school for more than 30 years, and if this had happened, he should have heard about it. Principal Wang also said that I was deceived, and that someone else had impersonated their Principal Liu.

10.5-4 部分核實了我的回憶錄Partially Verified my Memoirs

我記得第二章,梁伯給我講故事的時候,說九舅給常公的藥中(參見2.3節《桃花劫之二》),有一種藥的主要成分是白色的石頭。我去到了遼寧中醫院,找了位教授級中醫醫生。那位女教授,四十多歲,聽完了我對自己病的描述和我所詢問的大部分是石頭的中藥,她笑了,說:“那是一個古方,叫參苓白術散,正合適你的病症。不過藥裏麵沒有石頭,隻是人們聽故事,都那麽說。裏麵有一味藥,難溶於水,沉澱,吃起來像似石粉似的。”

I remember in Chapter 2, when Uncle Liang told me a story, he said that among the medicines that Ninth Uncle gave to Constant Fair (see Section 2.3 "Peach Flower Catastrophe 2"), there was a medicine whose main ingredient was white stone. I went to Liaoning Traditional Chinese Medicine Hospital and found a professor-level Chinese medicine doctor. The female professor, who was in her forties, listened to my description of my illness and the Chinese medicines that were mostly stone. She smiled and said, "That is an ancient prescription called Shenling Baizhu San, which is just suitable for your illness. But there is no stone in the medicine, just people heard the story and said so. There is a medicine in it that is difficult to dissolve in water, precipitates, and tastes like stone powder."

寫回憶錄時,我注意到了1996年冬(參見8.3節),祝老師在談劉團長促成我和劉健君婚姻的計劃時,他幫我憧憬未來,提到了上文的王校長,是個大個子,是當時沈陽炮兵學院的組織部長。我和王校長談話時,他自己介紹說,“1996年時,我是組織部長,他們去東北大學讀研究生,還是我聯係的呢。” 這和當時祝老師講的一樣。而且,祝老師說了他後麵三、四任的校長繼承人,就有我見到過的這位王校長。這繼承人的安排正是劉團長的辦事風格。

祝老師移民來了加拿大,這事和前文9.3節 《黑社會幫我打架》經曆的怪事對應了。也就是說,那些怪事是祝老師在背後做的。

When I was writing my memoirs, I noticed that in the winter of 1996 (see Section 8.3), when Teacher Zhu was talking about the plan of Eve Liu and I to get married, he helped me look forward to the future and mentioned Principal Wang mentioned above, a big man who was the Organization Minister of Shenyang Artillery Academy at that time. When I talked to Principal Wang, he introduced himself, saying, "In 1996, I was the Organization Minister. They went to Northeastern University for graduate studies, and it was me who contacted for them." This is the same as what Teacher Zhu said at the time. Moreover, Teacher Zhu mentioned that the three or four successors to the president after him included Principal Wang, whom I had met. The arrangement of this successor is exactly the working style of Troupe Leader Liu.

Teacher Zhu immigrated to Canada, which corresponds to the strange affairs that happened in Section 9.3 of the previous article, "Mafia Fight for Me". In other words, those strange affairs were done by Teacher Zhu behind the scenes.

10.5-5 結論 Conclusion

我就是4.5節《真人醫學實驗的報紙新聞》中男孩兒組中的一員;在1996年秋,8.2節 《死不瞑目》中,被劉團長最終選中了作為實驗中的男孩兒。

I am one of the boys in the boy group in section 4.5 “Newspaper News of Real-Life Medical Experiment”; and in the fall of 1996, in section 8.2 "Die with Eyes Open", was ultimately chosen by Troupe Leader Liu to be the boy in the experiment.

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