| Chapter 3 But all this is by the way. I was very young when I wrote my first book. By a lucky chance it excited attention, and various persons sought my acquaintance. It is not without melancholy that I wander among my recollections of the world of letters in London when first, bashful but eager, I was introduced to it. It is long since I frequented it, and if the novels that describe its present singularities are accurate much in it is now changed. The venue is different. Chelsea and Bloomsbury have taken the place of Hampstead, Notting Hill Gate, and High Street, Kensington. Then it was a distinction to be under forty, but now to be more than twenty-five is absurd. I think in those days we were a little shy of our emotions, and the fear of ridicule tempered the more obvious forms of pretentiousness. I do not believe that there was in that genteel Bohemia an intensive culture of chastity, but I do not remember so crude a promiscuity as seems to be practised in the present day. We did not think it hypocritical to draw over our vagaries the curtain of a decent silence. The spade was not invariably called a bloody shovel. Woman had not yet altogether come into her own. | 第三章 閑言少絮，言歸正傳。 我的處女作問世時我還很年輕。機緣巧合，我的這本書引起了人們的注意，各色人等都想要同我認識。 我剛被人引見到倫敦文藝圈時，麵帶羞怯但心情迫切；現在回想起來，不無憂鬱惆悵之感。我過去經常去倫敦，自距上次去那裏已經有很長時間了，如果小說中描寫的倫敦當下各種奇特之處比較準確的話，那就說明倫敦現在已經發生了變化。文人墨客聚會的地點已不同往日。柴爾森和布魯姆斯柏瑞取代了漢普斯待德、諾廷山門、高街和肯星頓的地位。當時未到不惑之年才成名被看作出類拔萃，如今剛過二十五歲成名就會讓人覺得荒唐可笑了。我想在過去的歲月裏我們都有些害羞，不敢流露自己的感情，害怕被人取笑的心理作用打消了比較明顯的裝腔作勢形象。我認為風流不羈的波西米亞地區文化並不強調潔身自愛，但我不記得那時候會有現今如此粗鄙汙穢淫亂的現象。出於麵子考慮，我們在自己所做的某些荒唐事情上拉了一道緘口不言的簾幕，竟然覺得這並非表裏不一的虛偽做法。我們說話拐彎抹角，並不單刀直入，當年鐵鍬並非一成不變地被人稱作該死的鐵鏟。那時女性獨立還尚未取得勝利。 |
| I lived near Victoria Station, and I recall long excursions by bus to the hospitable houses of the literary. In my timidity I wandered up and down the street while I screwed up my courage to ring the bell; and then, sick with apprehension, was ushered into an airless room full of people. I was introduced to this celebrated person after that one, and the kind words they said about my book made me excessively uncomfortable. I felt they expected me to say clever things, and I never could think of any till after the party was over. I tried to conceal my embarrassment by handing round cups of tea and rather ill-cut bread-and-butter. I wanted no one to take notice of me, so that I could observe these famous creatures at my ease and listen to the clever things they said. | 我住在維多利亞車站附近，我記得需要坐公共汽車走遙遠的路途，才能到達那些熱情好客的文人住處。因為膽怯，我到了目的地後，在街上來回踱步，最後才鼓起勇氣拉響門鈴。然後我心生恐懼，被人領到一個密不透風的房間，這裏人滿為患。我被引見給一位接著一位的名流，他們對我作品的各種恭維之詞令我感到渾身不舒服。我覺得他們都巴望著我能夠口吐珠璣，可直到聚會結束之後，我才想起隻字片語。為了掩蓋尷尬之態，我忙著給客人端茶遞水，把塗有黃油切得不成樣的麵包送到客人手裏。我希望沒人留意我，這樣我就可以安心自在地端詳一下這些鼎鼎大名的活物兒，聆聽他們所說的巧言妙語。 |
| I have a recollection of large, unbending women with great noses and rapacious eyes, who wore their clothes as though they were armour; and of little, mouse-like spinsters, with soft voices and a shrewd glance. I never ceased to be fascinated by their persistence in eating buttered toast with their gloves on, and I observed with admiration the unconcern with which they wiped their fingers on their chair when they thought no one was looking. It must have been bad for the furniture, but I suppose the hostess took her revenge on the furniture of her friends when, in turn, she visited them. Some of them were dressed fashionably, and they said they couldn't for the life of them see why you should be dowdy just because you had written a novel; if you had a neat figure you might as well make the most of it, and a smart shoe on a small foot had never prevented an editor from taking your "stuff." But others thought this frivolous, and they wore "art fabrics" and barbaric jewelry. The men were seldom eccentric in appearance. They tried to look as little like authors as possible. They wished to be taken for men of the world, and could have passed anywhere for the managing clerks of a city firm. They always seemed a little tired. I had never known writers before, and I found them very strange, but I do not think they ever seemed to me quite real. | 我記得遇見幾位體型肥大、腰板挺直的婦人，她們鼻頭碩大，目光凶悍，身上穿的衣服像是批了一副鎧甲；我也遇到許多骨瘦如柴，身板跟小耗子似的老姑娘，她們說話嬌聲細氣，眼光機敏。她們堅決不摘掉手套去拿塗了黃油的麵包片，那種吃相讓我禁不住神魂顛倒；她們想著趁人不注意，把手指頭往椅子上一抹，我看到她們滿不在乎的樣子，不禁感到心悅誠服。對於主人的家具而言，這肯定是壞事一樁，但我想到等女主人反過來哪天去這些人家裏作客時，肯定也會照貓畫虎在她們的家具上施行報複。她們有些人穿著打扮時髦，聲稱她們這輩子無論如何也看不出為何一個人隻是因為寫了本小說，就該不修邊幅、蓬頭垢麵。如果你身材苗條，難不成還不想讓別人多看你兩眼？兩隻小腳配上雙漂亮鞋子，絕不妨礙編輯采用你的那些“貨”。但其他人會覺得這樣做輕佻浮浪，她們穿的是“繪畫布料”，戴的是渾金璞玉，顯得粗鄙野蠻。男士們外表打扮一般很少怪裏怪氣。他們盡可能不讓人看出自己是位作家，總希望別人把他們當作老於世故的練達之士。不論走到哪裏，人們都會認為他們是某家公司的高層管理人員。他們看上去好像總是有些疲累。我過去從未結識過任何作家，我發現他們不同尋常，但我總覺得對我而言他們看上去似乎不那麽真實。 |
| I remember that I thought their conversation brilliant, and I used to listen with astonishment to the stinging humour with which they would tear a brother-author to pieces the moment that his back was turned. The artist has this advantage over the rest of the world, that his friends offer not only their appearance and their character to his satire, but also their work. I despaired of ever expressing myself with such aptness or with such fluency. In those days conversation was still cultivated as an art; a neat repartee was more highly valued than the crackling of thorns under a pot; and the epigram, not yet a mechanical appliance by which the dull may achieve a semblance of wit, gave sprightliness to the small talk of the urbane. It is sad that I can remember nothing of all this scintillation. But I think the conversation never settled down so comfortably as when it turned to the details of the trade which was the other side of the art we practised. When we had done discussing the merits of the latest book, it was natural to wonder how many copies had been sold, what advance the author had received, and how much he was likely to make out of it. Then we would speak of this publisher and of that, comparing the generosity of one with the meanness of another; we would argue whether it was better to go to one who gave handsome royalties or to another who "pushed" a book for all it was worth. Some advertised badly and some well. Some were modern and some were old-fashioned. Then we would talk of agents and the offers they had obtained for us; of editors and the sort of contributions they welcomed, how much they paid a thousand, and whether they paid promptly or otherwise. To me it was all very romantic. It gave me an intimate sense of being a member of some mystic brotherhood. | 我記得我當時覺得他們的談話內容鋒芒畢露，我常常聽得目瞪口呆，同行剛一轉過身，其他作家就會用尖酸刻薄的幽默言語把那位同行批得體無完膚。藝術家與其他人相比，在一個方麵占上風，他們不僅可以挖苦朋友的儀表和性格，而且也包括朋友的作品。他們能如此恰如其分、明白流暢地表達自我，我實在是自愧不如。在那些日子裏，談話仍然被看作是一門經過培養的藝術，妙語連珠比釜底下燃燒的荊棘劈劈啪啪聲更受人重視，格言警句還尚未成為癡人笨蛋用來冒充才思敏捷的機械工具，溫文爾雅之人甩出一兩句則會使得談天說地妙趣橫生。糟糕的是，這些閃光的巧言妙語我現在一句都想不起來。我認為他們談起交易細節（我們從藝的另一方麵）時，談話從未像現在這樣，令人感到如此舒適暢快。我們討論完最近新出的一本書的優點後，自然想要知道這本書的銷量如何，作者已經收到多少預支稿費，他一共會得到多少錢。接下來我們就要談到這家出版商還是那家出版商，拿其中一家的的慷慨大方去和另一家的吝嗇小氣進行比較；我們還要爭論一番，是把稿件交給這家版稅優厚的出版商，還是那家為獲得書的實際價值把書“推”出去的出版商。有些出版商廣告做得很差，有些做得非常在行。有些與時俱進，有些古板守舊。接下來我們還要談到出版代理商以及他們為我們作家爭取到的出版商的開價。我們還要談論編輯以及他們歡迎的投稿類型，千字稿費，稿費支付及時與否。這些對我而言，都非常富於傳奇色彩。我有一種身為某神秘同業會成員的親切感。 |
