【詩歌的譯寫】 -Yixie and translation

【譯寫】 -Yixie and translation
Notes, from reading a Chinese poem.

【詩歌欣賞】

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People are scrambling with the notion whether or not poems are transferable from one language to another. Surely, as English is still the dominant language internationally, this topic is basically under discussion for people who still consider themselves language learners. It is same to a nation.

If poems are some times defined as the soul of literature, then should we be more careful in translating them in another language. Some people, like my self, are too eager to try the conveying jobs, which requires a great deal of trainings. It seemed sometimes they were too much influenced by the ideas inspired by the material they are working on, or mixing in too much of thoughts of own that makes the work being transferred hard to recognize.

Yixie，" 譯寫“ as discussed with one friend of mine online is not loyal translation!  For a large part of it is done with whose own words. To be honesty, I am guilty for being among one of them. In Chinese, they call what they have done "Yi-Xie" -write their own words while doing the translating, -which means "translation takes small portion of the original works, however, the basic ideas, feelings, and imagery are generated or even copied from the original author.

It is still called translated, maybe only for the thinking follows the same direction of the original author...But is it good translation? Myself cast a lot of doubts on what they've done. 
Here, another example of this.

前言：
。。。詩人是語言提煉的大師，他們並不簡單堆砌詞匯,造美麗的牆，而是用想像的手，拉著你去看他們所看到的，觀察到的生活和景物： 第一句：”一個人愛過，痛過，掙紮過踏萬水千山苦苦尋來眼神熱烈 又寂寞，“ -這就是詩的刻畫，我仿佛立刻被推到了一幅人物的肖像麵前，努力開始自己審美，思維和情感，甚至生活中的記憶，開始全部參與進來，。。。我想每一個，認真閱讀的人，是否都會這樣的想著，讀著。

一語，2009 08

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圖片提供：安靜

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原創鏈接： 你還好嗎？ - 文學城: 熱點論壇 web.wenxuecity.com
Authored by Hongxiu Wenxue city Chinagate,
原創 紅袖

”你還好吧“！

當一個人
愛過，痛過，掙紮過
踏萬水千山苦苦尋來
眼神熱烈 又寂寞，問：
你還好嗎？
請你一定
認真地，誠實地告訴他：
我很好！或者
我不好！

不過，無論你選擇怎樣的回答
此時他的心都已經
毫無選擇地碎了。。。

所以我沒有勇氣跑去問
你還好嗎？
因為我承受不起任何一種回答

於是，我自暴自棄
每當喉嚨哽塞
思念澎湃難息
會去一個寂寥的湖邊
輕聲地，一遍又一遍地問
你還好嗎?
你還好嗎？
。。。

不是試圖呼喚
隻是想讓清幽的回聲
蒼涼地追逐
飛翔的野鶴

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A place called water-down

Some times easy, some times hard to inquire;
"how's everything?" so normal, plain, but heavy to start,
a question mark at a time, to a man of everyday,
suffered, loved, hungered, or traveled some miles,
"good, or no," a sincere voice, n' a honest smile,

Without a choice，or choose with all sorts,
a reply, Yet, hard to tell some thousand miles,
rocks he climbed, seas of rough tides!
No tears you see but winkles near his eyes，
of a man with strong body but a broken heart.

So, I laid down my pen and papers torn to the ground,
Not a word or a line inked but an empty mind,  at
a lake-place, called water-down, whispers heard within,
the questions all gone,

The answers are in the winds, blowing at
a place called water-down, as I caught his eyes a first look with smile
as a rock in the mountain behind,
words freeze on my lips, never dare to ask.

So, I let go my  heart, turn the sad music on,
watching out for the summer clouds,
and August rains keep falling down,
a place called water-down whisperings as waves rushed ashore,


Rain-storm cleared, Rainbows appeared
Horses run, and eagles fly,
Home town afar,still five hundred miles.

A five hundred times, I whispered,
Taste a bitter salty the Bud-light
a place called water-down, soft memories, and room so quiet,
"It's gonna be alright，... alright"

Neither to ask, nor inquire,
Please, drop the question mark,
at a place called water-down, but echoes in the air, so sweet,
Raindrops cold in this August,
summer birds fly high and wild.  

湖邊
譯寫

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Review：

當一個人愛過，痛過，掙紮過踏萬水千山苦苦尋來眼神熱烈 又寂寞，問： 你還好嗎？請你一定認真地，誠實地告訴他：我很好！或者我不好！
不過，無論你選擇怎樣的回答, 此時他的心都已經毫無選擇地碎了。。。 所以我沒有勇氣跑去問, 你還好嗎？因為我承受不起任何一種回答
於是，我自暴自棄, 每當喉嚨哽塞, 思念澎湃難息 會去一個寂寥的湖邊 輕聲地，一遍又一遍地問, 你還好嗎? 你還好嗎？。。。
不是試圖呼喚, 隻是想讓清幽的回聲, 蒼涼地追逐, 飛翔的野鶴