憨豆先生親授約會技巧

Rowan Atkinson - Elementary Dating

Good evening, and welcome to the Boston University Huntington Theater for the second part of our course in elementary courting for men. Say how pleased I am with tonight to turn out some 800 people, which is very gratifying. Tonight we look at the first date. Obviously, taking out a girl for the first time is a very complex issue. The first crucial step is having arranged to pick up your date not to look like a complete idiot when she opens the door. Best to look as though your attention has been momentarily distracted. But when you do notice her, it is vital to say how pretty she is looking straightaway. But, don’t overdo it. If at this point you are introduced to her parents, attitude is all important. You can be too casual… You can be too keen… When you say goodbye to the parents, again don’t overdo it. Lead her to your car…and remember to open the door. Once in the car, there are various ways of driving. If you drive like this…. You might lose her respect. But if you drive like this… You should've taken a taxi. Before long you will arrive at the restaurant. Get out of the car… …and escort her to your table. Then tuck her in to her seat…yourself…. …and attract the waiter’s attention. Selecting from the wine list is important. Complete ignorance is not good. When the bottle arrives, there is much to be made of the tasting of it… but, don’t be too professional. With eating, again, moderation is the order of the day. Don’t eat too fast… But don’t eat too slowly. Next is receiving the bill. This is a very important moment. You must be sure not to lose your cool. This is right… This, is wrong… The girl may, of course, offer to pay herself…. In which case, you should refuse. For a while…. The next stop is a fashionable discotheque. Once inside you might look slightly strange if you try to talk over the music. So just stand casually and look sexy. This is good…. This is better… This is starting to be misguided… After stance, dance technique is most important. Most people don’t know how to dance, and so do too much…. Other people do too little… Some people dance as if there is something up their bottom... And other people dance as if there is something coming out of their bottom... When all’s said and done, it’s best probably not to dance at all. The well mimed sporting injury is always useful and a good excuse for leaving the discotheque. If you don't utterly foul it up, 20 minutes later you should be back at your place. It's important to relax and make your guest feel at home. She will probably feel as nervous as you do. And there's no need to make any extra special efforts. Then, putting on the music. We can't help you with the choice of CD, even though, no matter what the circumstances, Donny and Marie Osmond's Greatest Hits would be a mistake. Above all costs, avoid the temptation to brag about your stereo. Now comes the moment you've been waiting for, the seduction. This is the subject of next week’s lecture. However, as a rough guide, this is right…. And this is, I think you’ll agree, disastrous…

晚上好，歡迎來到波士頓大學亨廷頓劇院參加男性基礎求愛課程第二講。今晚有大約800人到場，我感到非常高興。今天我們講的是第一次約會。顯然，第一次帶一個女孩子出去是一件非常複雜的事情。第一個關鍵步驟是去女孩家裏接她，在她打開門時，你不要看上去像個十足的白癡。 最好是看起來臨時分散了注意力。 一旦你看到她，一定要直接說出來她有多漂亮。 但是，不要太過了。 如果你被介紹給她父母，你的態度很重要。你也許會漫不經心。。。 你也許會很熱烈。。。 向她父母道別時，也不要太過了。 領她上你的車。。。記住給她開車門。 上車後，有幾種開車法。如果你這樣開車。。。 你可能會失去她對你的尊重。如果你這樣開車。。。 你應該改坐出租車。很快，你們就來到飯店了。下車。。。 陪她到餐桌旁，幫她拉椅子。。。你自己。。。 然後招呼侍者。 點一種紅酒很重要，不要忽略這一項。 酒上來以後，會有很多關於品酒的話題可談。。。但是，不要太專業。 吃的時候，再說一次，舉止得體要貫徹始終。不要吃得太快。。。 但也不要吃得太慢。。。 買單是非常重要的時刻。你必須保持冷靜。這樣是對的。。。 這樣是錯的。。。 對方可能會提出自己付賬。。。 你應該拒絕 一小會兒。。。 下一站是時髦的迪斯科舞廳。 進去以後，如果你試圖在音樂聲中交談，你會看起來有點奇怪。因此最好放鬆地站著，並讓自己看起來很性感。 這樣比較好。。。 這樣更好些。。。 這樣就有點不對勁了。。。 擺完姿勢後，舞技就是最重要的了。大多數人不懂得怎樣跳舞，因此動作太大。。。 另外一些則動作太小。。。 有些人跳舞的樣子像是有東西在他們的屁股裏。。。 而另一些人跳舞的樣子像是有東西從他們的屁股裏出來了。。。 該說的說了，該做的也做了以後，最好就別再跳下去了。假裝自己受了傷永遠是一個有效的離開舞廳的借口。如果你沒有全搞糟，那麽20分鍾以後，你應該回到了自己的住所。 要放鬆，並讓你的客人感到自在。她可能和你一樣緊張。你並不需要去做額外特別的事情。 然後，放點音樂。我們無法幫你挑CD，當然，不管是任何情形，Donny and Marie Osmond 金曲集都會是一個錯誤。 無論如何，不要吹噓你的音響設備。 終於到了你期盼已久的時刻：調情。這個主題我們下個星期講。 不過，粗略說一下，這樣是對的。。。 而這樣，我想你們同意，會是災難性的。。。