一次次地哭泣

今天拿到了成績，本來也沒什麽，但是爸爸上網了。他總是在上海天還沒亮的清晨就急急地上來說幾句，生怕我睡得晚了。聽到爸爸透著濃濃睡意的聲音從那邊傳來，我告訴他我成績拿到了，然後就忍不住哭，越哭越響，淚水止不住地洶湧。

等到我能說話了，爸爸才怯怯地問，考得好不好？我告訴他成績，爸爸爽朗的笑聲就傳過來，穿過濃厚陰沉的雲層，穿過厚厚的積雪，來到我的小屋，讓我忍不住又開始嗚咽。過了一會兒，爸爸讓媽媽過來和我說話，媽媽對我說，女兒啊，媽媽真高興，為你驕傲。我一邊擦眼淚，一邊笑著。

父母的聲音在這個冬季支持著我，又在這個時候讓我的感情徹底潰堤，不可收拾。

記得考試前一個月，做模擬題的結果慘不忍睹，讓本來已經身心俱疲的我幾乎絕望。

筆記本上的對話框裏，媽媽說太苦了，就回來吧。我看著那一句句慢慢打上來的話，就把臉埋在自己的臂彎裏，坐在淩晨圖書館的角落裏無聲地慟哭。自從來了美國就分分秒秒繃緊了的神經，完全放鬆了，媽媽遠遠地讓我奢侈地流了一回淚。哭完了，我覺得輕鬆了很多，後來還有比那次更糟糕的模擬成績，都沒有讓我再氣餒過。

今天又哭了，真是不爭氣。要堅強起來，走完這條望不見盡頭的路。

座右銘：要生存，先把淚擦幹。

[我愛寶貝兒]

看完你的這篇文章，看到了最後一句話，想到了我當年在中國醫院裏考研究生的情景，幾乎是一模一樣。我們那個小醫院裏，我考研究生便受到了很多人的排擠和嘲笑，我的壓力很大，當時經常是一邊看書一邊落淚，在紙上寫“要生存，先把淚擦幹”來鼓勵自己堅持下去。
現在我也要考board了，壓力遠沒有當初那麽大，可能是有退路的原因吧。
握手....

[心有千千結]

祝賀你呀!
把你的如何愛下去都看完了.好喜歡你的故事,你的文筆.那些熟悉的醫院生活經你的筆生動的再現.文中的主人公應該是你的影子吧.先看的文章,後看的你的照片,覺得那文中的可愛又聰明的女孩和照片中的女孩很吻合.
你考完了所有的考試了麽?包括臨床技能?以你短短的中國醫生經曆能把你在各科室的醫療工作寫的如此生動,細致,你真的非常適合做醫生.
希望多看到你的文章(也可以寫寫你在美國考醫生的故事),希望早日看到一個美麗聰惠的可愛女孩在美國實現她的夢想.

[SeaLily]

Hi,

I have a question? How do you can pass the doctor exams? Is there any requirements? I got a bachelor degree in clinical medicine in China and I am F1 status in U.S. I also would like to try to be a doctor in the future. Could you tell me the requirements? Thank you very much!

I love the articles you wrote, those beautiful stories happened in hospital. They remind my precious young time when I was an intern in the hospital. By the way, our ages are same.

SeaLily

[化學鍵]

我原來隻知道上海小白菜，沒想到還有蟹粉小籠包，快條件反射了 :=)
我有個同學就在譜東發財-ing。我想自己再幹幾年吧，等到不在乎賺多少，隻想幹自己想幹能幹的事的時候再說吧。

[落花飄零]

thanks, i will remember your words!
i am so excited, i will fly in ten hours.:)
take care.talk with you later when i come back!

[skyblue]

Happy Chinese New Years to you too.
No, I didn't take the Kaplan course in any step preparation. But I bought the online course from WWW.USMLEWORLD.COM for one month for the CS. I only used for two weeks. The course provides SP cases and practice cases. It pretty much covers almost all the SPs you would encounter at the real test. Practise really hard and get familiar with all the cases will definetely do the work. I practised with the girl next door. Hopefully I will pass.
I was from Shanghai but attanded another medical school, SMU, you know, it is Fudan medical center now.
The best part of going back to Shanghai was to find out a close friend also back in town from Japan. We haven't seen each other for 8 years. Time really flies.

[落花飄零]

沒關係啊，你說出來吧，我就是典型的上海女人，心胸狹窄，說話尖刻，年紀不小了還看韓劇做著發財夢。嘻嘻。
我愛上海，留戀上海，想念上海，恨不得現在就已經在上海了。歡迎你來上海創業，很爽的，我看到很多精英人士在上海成功圓夢。到時候請你吃蟹粉小籠。

[化學鍵]

從沒有去過"香海"。很想以後去那裏教書，並做點研究，或者開個小公司... 總之，做點自己的東西吧。不過，聽說那裏的人排外啊，還有一些不好聽的話，這裏就免了。有點怕。不過，光道聽途說總是不好，可能那些都是曆史吧。我見過一個那裏的女同誌就很不錯，還有象你老爸那樣的大好人也不少吧，嗬嗬。

[落花飄零]

really, you are from shanghai too?! such a nice coincidence!
i just left shanghai about one year, so probably will not feel much difference there, i just miss my parents and my friends badly, well, food also.:)
i will register for step 2 and cs together as soon as i come back, hopefully it will come smoothly, they are so expensive, i will feel really hurt if the money wasted.:P
did you take CS training in kaplan? i am still debating about it.
thank you for leaving the encouraging words here, wish you a nice and warm chinese new year!

[skyblue]

Thank you. I am at the end of my interviews. Still waiting for the CS score, pain in the neck. Hopefully I could get it by Feb. 23rd, otherwise I will be kicked out from match automatically.
Don't worry about reading now. I took three months off after Step1 and read three months to take the test. You will do very well in step 2 since you have done well in Step 1. Enjoy your time in Shanghai with your parents and friends. "Time flies. Spend most of it with the people you love most" I got this from a fortune cookie long time ago. Still remember it.
Actually I just got back from Shanghai four weeks ago. Kind of dissapointed with the changes around the city. But food is good and friends are nice to see.

[落花飄零]

CB(化學鍵簡稱）：
a.我也很喜歡台灣的流行歌曲，但我是正宗大陸血統，
b.我非常討厭化學,為了考醫學院沒辦法選了化學，你的名字讓我噩夢重現啊。
c.我的路還很長，最後的結果誰也說不出，謝謝你的祝願，但願如你所言。

[化學鍵]

Sorry! I was just joking...

Actually I am not that old enough to be your uncle, :-) and I just left school 3 years old, although I had been in schools for many years :-)

Last week, I was busy in helping my REAL niece in China in solving a high-school physics problem, which is not that easy, and took me almost 10 minutes to get it done :-)

I guess you are going to be a doctor soon, right? I am sure you will be a great doctor. Good luck for you!

BTW, did you come from Taiwan? I really love the pop musics from that island.

-Chemical Bond

[落花飄零]

thank you very much for the suggestions, very precious for me, i will remember them.:)
actually i was very lagged back after the step 1,just don't want to study, and now i am back to china take a vacation, so i am worried about my step 2 study.:P
are you in match process now, if so, wish you best luck!

[skyblue]

congratulations! You are half way there! You will be at where I am now by the end of this year.(actually, we have the same score. I assume yours is step 1 score.) Step 2 is much easier to read although not many good review books out there. (If you have time, check out the Swason's family practice, especially the psychiatry part)
Quick tip, schedule the Step 2 CS asap. It is definitely a plus if you have the CS result when you start to apply.

[落花飄零]

一定一定!:)

[紫鵑]

回家過年吃好喝好！

[落花飄零]

不忘中國，"雖然不是神話99分"這句話好像是有歧義？我不是99分，是96分，所以說沒有拿到神話般的99分，但是也很高興了。留下四分，借口更充分了。：）
化學鍵叔叔，我不是小孩了，在美國很多大叔都在考醫生執照呢，分數當然是越高越好，不過複習的時候也不會說，我的目標是幾分，總是盡自己的努力吧。

[不忘中囯]

哇，99分，這都不是神話，那今年的春節社麽是神話。：）留1分作為繼續努力的借口。

[化學鍵]

你們看來都還是小孩啊，還考試呢，嗬嗬。99分，很不錯啊，不過，美國好像不一定要那麽高的分哦。不象在國內，分數那麽重要。有時間多玩玩，嗬嗬。

[落花飄零]

對不起哦，剛才看到你的實際年齡，你還是有資本天真一把的，哈哈。

[落花飄零]

你怎麽這麽天真，‘隻有考試通過的人才能回家過年’，你以為我還在讀小學寄托班呢，嘻嘻。考不出當然也能回家，但是會很難過，畢竟複習得很辛苦。考的是醫生執照。

[glovebx]

恭喜啊，雖然我不知道是什麽成績。
原來隻有考試通過的人才能回家過年啊，學校真是苛刻。

[落花飄零]

謝謝！今天是很好的一天，為自己寫點東西，所以怠慢了那邊廂，這就來了...

[秋顏]

在"欲上青天攬明月"裏沒找到你的新作, 感情你在這廂動真感情呢. 我一直相信苦盡甘方來, 能記得住的古詩詞不太多, 但那句"天降大任於斯人也, 必先苦其心誌, 勞其筋骨..."始終忘不了. 這裏希望能與你共勉. 經曆了這番風雨, 相信以後沒什麽趟不過去的淤泥...
還好, 你的好日子已經近在咫尺. 再次祝賀你!

[女孩安然]

姐姐，早跟你說了你行的，真為你開心啊！！！！
接下去就是我的苦日子拉。你回上海好好玩。我真為你激動。