12/4 星期一

jgey (2006-12-03 08:07:12) 評論 (8)

周三去gym後著涼,周四嗓子痛,周五發燒,氣很不順,於是拿德的問題開刀,一氣嗬成一篇聲討文章;周六燒退了,氣消了,再看一遍自己的聲討文章,覺得很是無聊,有些事情,何必較真?前些天看到的那句話,--“成熟就是知道了也不說”,看來發燒的時候很難保持成熟的態度。

天氣預報說,東京今天開始大幅度降溫。晚上回家時,在電車上拿著書,卻無論如何也看不進去一個字,望著窗外的一片漆黑發呆,突然間覺得很恐慌。總有這樣的時候,開始懷疑自己所做的一切是否值得,是否正確,自己的努力是否隻是在浪費時間,是不是永遠也無法到達自己所期待的高度,永遠也無法得到自己所夢想的東西...這樣的自我懷疑是種極其痛苦的精神折磨,自信心“兵敗如山倒”,隨之而來的是帶著絕望的恐慌,情緒在一瞬間降到最低點。最後,我竟然像個打架打輸了的小孩子一樣,一路哭著回到家。shower的時候,情緒終於穩定下來,開始認真思考,是否應該試著學會妥協,放棄現在所做的努力;想起這些天一直在讀的書裏的一段話,--after suffering for a while, the guy was considering to quit, then he called his friend for advices, his friend said, "why now? since you can quit anytime." the guy thought over, he had made a lot effort, and gone through tough times, maybe he already on the half way to his goal, so why quit now??? why not just try a little more, he probably would see the goal in the very close future...since he could quit anytime, if he wanted.

right, why quit now?!