bear，這是我試著寫並改的東西。經過這個piece，我對

＂let the meaning choose the word＂很有感受。
非常非常同意你的＂語言是為人民服務的， ＆not the other way around＂

---unspoken words----
can you hear the words unspoken
from the eyes, the pose and the smile?
the ocean of tears surges in the heart
the river of joys meanders in the mind

can you see thr the secrets of heart
from the songs, the poems and the brows?
the perpetual breeze flys with me
the message in the bottle drifts in the sea.

words not spoken linger in the air
teeming with melody softer than song
secrets of heart flow in the wind
unfolding the feeling deeper than sea.

(這是什麽也沒多想, no rhyming, no syllable count，隻是表達想要表達的piece)

所有跟帖： 

• 這是試著改了第一段，加上了rhyme，其實，不完全是起初想表達的。 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (214 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 15:22:29

• 回複：這是試著改了第一段，加上了rhyme，其實，不完全是起初想表達的。 -hahaman- ♀ (106 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 17:11:40

• 對，韻是這些詩體的一個要求。否則，就不能叫做１４行詩了 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (515 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 20:46:02

• oh, this is a misplacement. meant to follow with the one below. -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 20:52:25

• sweetie you are as fast as light -hahaman- ♀ (269 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:00:11

• 謝謝bear。你真的是博學，一點不錯。learned. -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (107 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:06:49

• sweetie，你的詩寫的真是很流暢。 -hahaman- ♀ (395 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:24:02

• 別抒情了；）。 我這周有deadline要meet。晚安。 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:33:41

• Ok sweetie. I also have so much to do. Work is too much. -hahaman- ♀ (139 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:47:35

• hmm。 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (50 bytes) () 05/05/2010 postreply 20:07:19

• 剛要合上書本,your line make me忽然想起來你那個＂閃電門拴＂了：） -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (105 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:30:16

• haha sweetie, how do you remember everything? -hahaman- ♀ (41 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 21:41:39

• flys-->>flies -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 15:27:27

• bear，我跟著你練了這麽多詩歌，這首是我比較 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (211 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 15:52:27

• sweetie 不要考慮韻除非是十四行等 -hahaman- ♀ (154 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 19:41:24

• this is -hahaman- ♀ (401 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 17:01:52

• 謝謝hahaman。我在看小人書。talk to u later。 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/04/2010 postreply 18:25:16

• sweetie I read it again and again -hahaman- ♀ (141 bytes) () 05/05/2010 postreply 08:24:52

• great, -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (27 bytes) () 05/05/2010 postreply 18:12:16