你的理解都不錯，但譯得比較拘謹，

你的理解都不錯，但譯得比較拘謹，不很象詩。原詩寫得很不錯，除第二段和第三段最後那句，其它都是八音節，四音步，抑揚格，句句押韻。如果我們翻譯，雖然不一定能做到跟原詩一樣，但應該盡量努力接近它。當然意思還是主要的。在意思準確的基礎上，盡量做到形式優美。

We Wear the Mask by Paul Laurence Dunbar

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

所有跟帖： 

• 什麽是詩-形式與內容 -馬下人- ♂ (1546 bytes) () 05/21/2015 postreply 10:01:03

• 說得很對，“不很象詩”那話說得有點過， -聚曦亭- ♀ (404 bytes) () 05/21/2015 postreply 10:15:16

• 我舉個例子 -聚曦亭- ♀ (459 bytes) () 05/21/2015 postreply 10:27:22

• 漂亮的命題 -馬下人- ♂ (752 bytes) () 05/21/2015 postreply 11:52:26