盧岩回憶錄
本人的回憶錄，宗教文化
本章目錄 Contents of the Chapter：7.0 前言 Preface；7.1 調查核實Investigation and Verification；7.2 劉健君 Eve Liu；7.3 相親 Blind Date；7.3-2 相親 Blind Date；7.4 她給我的印象The Impression of Her
7.5 超渡 Transcendently Ferry；7.5.1 治療恩怨情仇病 Treatment of Illness of Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred；7.5.2 無所得 No Objective Gain；7.5.3 慧傷癡 Gnosis Harms Ignorance；7.5.4 覺悟的特質 Trait of Conscientiousness；7.5.5 給舅舅送終 Sending My Uncle Away；7.5.6 圓滿 Perfect Fulfillment；7.5.7 想去哪兒去哪兒To Think Where to Go is Arriving There； 7.5.8 神通正等明 Connection with Correct Equality Light
7.6 她的影響力大 Her Influencing Power is Strong；7.7 無事生非 Making a Fuss out of Nothing；7.8 你是誰？Who Are You? 7.9 第三次核實 The Third Verification；7.10 父母和她吵 Parents Quarrel with Her；7.11性格互補 Personality Complementation；7.12 百變神通 Hundred Godly Transformations
7.0 前言 Preface
1995年7月，王剛表姐給我在博士生宿舍借了一個床位。開始時，我住在一樓一個朝北的房間，室友是個來自國務院的警察。注解，他是國務院的工作人員，廣義上的警察，不記得他的名字了，所以稱他為國務院警察。這個宿舍樓是兩個人一個房間。沒過多久，王剛表姐跟我說，我這個床位的人要回來了，讓我住到了六樓東端附近的一個朝南的房間。
In July 1995, Wang Gang cousin borrowed a bed in the doctoral student dormitory for me. At first, I lived in a north-facing room on the first floor, and my roommate was a police officer from the State Council. Annotation, he is a staff member of the State Council, a police officer in a broad sense. I don’t remember his name, so I call him a State Council Police Officer. This dormitory building has two people per room. Not long after, Cousin Wang Gang told me that the person who occupied my bed was coming back and asked me to live in a south-facing room near the east end of the sixth floor.
大約在九月，宿舍鄰居，黃老師的室友，半夜踹水房的門，把我的眉骨撞成局部粉碎性骨折。就這樣，我認識了黃老師。他四十多歲，是當時沈陽炮兵學院的副校長，在東北大學進修博士。
Around September, a dormitory neighbor, Teacher Huang’s roommate, kicked in the door of the water room in the middle of the night, causing a partial comminuted fracture of my eyebrow bone. In this way, I met Teacher Huang. He was in his forties and was the vice president of the Shenyang Artillery Academy at the time. He was studying for a doctorate at Northeastern University.
一九九六年一月，王剛表姐對我說：“我聽說你和你室友的關係不融洽，他還老是喝點兒小酒。你考研究生他也不幫助幫助你。他讀博士改成讀碩士了。我把他趕走了。” 我對表姐的作法，感覺奇怪（注解，她是從哪兒聽來的？現在看起來，有人在背後蠱動她，操弄），但沒說什麽。隨後，我在一樓時的室友，那個國務院的警察搬進了我的房間。他是材料係納米材料研究方向的，和黃老師是博士班同學。我知道已經考上研究生了，就開始上課，做實驗了。
In January 1996, Wang Gang cousin said to me: "I heard that the relationship between you and your roommate is not harmonious. He always drinks a little. He doesn't help you when you take the postgraduate entrance examination. He was studying for a Ph.D., then changed to study for a master's degree. I drove him away." I felt strange about my cousin's behavior (note, where did she hear this? Now it seems that someone was teasing and manipulating her behind her back), but I didn't say anything. Then my roommate on the first floor, the State Department Police Officer, moved into my room. He is in the field of nanomaterials research in the Department of Materials, and he is a doctoral classmate with Teacher Huang. I knew I had been admitted to graduate school, so I started taking classes and doing experiments.
一天，室友，即國務院警察，對我說，那個黃老師喜歡我，要給我介紹對象。黃老師的社會地位比較高，當然，他介紹的檔次也會高一些，書香門第；我聽了很高興。可過了很多天黃老師才跟我說，她是他們學校建校時老校長（注，即劉團長）的女兒。這時她在中國醫科大學讀研究生。他說如果我願意看看，他要先調查一下我的情況。我同意了，告訴了他我的個人信息。
One day, my roommate (i.e., State Council Police Officer) told me that Teacher Huang liked me and wanted to introduce me a girlfriend. Teacher Huang is a military general, his social status is relatively high. Of course, the class he introduced will also be higher, and he has a scholarly family background; I was very happy to hear that. But it took many days for Teacher Huang to tell me that she was the daughter of the old principal (Annotation, Troupe leader Liu) when their school was founded. At this time, she was a graduate student at China Medical University. He said that if I wanted to look, he would investigate my situation first. I agreed and gave him my personal information.
兩周後，在食堂裏，黃老師的同學們喊我過去，說：“你是因為打架，才跑到東北大學避難來了！” 我聽不懂，感覺氣憤，回答：“那也和你們沒關係！” 黃老師等人解釋。我不記得（前段）他要給我介紹對象，已經同意他調查我的事了。
Two weeks later, in the cafeteria, Teacher Huang's classmates called me over and said, "You came to Northeastern University to seek refuge because of a fight!" I didn't understand and felt angry, so I replied, "That's none of your business!” Teacher Huang and others explained. I didn’t remember (in the previous paragraph) that he wanted to introduce a girlfriend, and I had already agreed to his investigation into my matter.
幾天後，黃老師來到我的房間，向我道歉，說介紹對象這事在那種場合說，不合適。他要再次和我核實他調查的情況。他說他委托他的市政府裏的朋友打電話到和平房產局。人事股的XXX股長說： “盧岩，我知道，前年他來的時候，是我麵試的他。基層對他的表現評價都很好，除了愛打架。有一次，那架打得，都鬧到和平區政府裏麵去了。”
A few days later, Teacher Huang came to my room and apologized to me, saying that it was inappropriate to introduce someone to me in that situation. He wanted to check with me again about the status of his investigation. He said he asked his friend in the mayor’s office to call the Heping Housekeeping Bureau. Personnel Section Chief XXX said: “Luyan, I know! The year before last year, I interviewed him. The grassroots evaluation of his performance is very good, except for his love for fighting. Once, the fight was so intense that it went to the Heping District Government. "
我回答：“我不知道我愛打架，也可能我嗓門高，情緒激烈，人們認為我在打架。但我不記得什麽時候打過架，更沒有因為打架的事情涉及到了區政府。”
I replied: "I don't know that I like to fight. Maybe because of my loud voice and intense emotions, people thought I was fighting. But I don't remember when I had a fight, let alone the district government."
黃老師說：“這有可能因為你們局的那個XXX股長把別人當成你了，弄錯人了。我想再調查一次。”
我同意了。
Teacher Huang said: "It's possible that the Personnel Section Chief XXX of your bureau mistook someone else for you. I want to investigate again."
I agreed.
7.1 調查核實Verification
幾天後，黃老師又來找我核實他的調查，先核實了我父母兄妹的情況。然後他說他自己去了東北大學遼寧分院，和幾個老師談過了，沒發現什麽特殊事。
黃老師說：“下一項問題，你是怎麽找到和平房產局工作的？”
A few days later, Teacher Huang came to me again to verify his investigation. He first verified the situation of my parents, siblings, and then said that he went to the Liaoning Branch of Northeastern University and talked with several teachers and found nothing special.
Teacher Huang said: "The next question is, how did you find the job at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau?"
我回答如前文5.6節《特殊的新政策》所述。他說他的一個在市政府工作的朋友向和平區政府打電話，接電話的是人事科的白科長，是個女的。白科長說：“盧岩，我記得，前年夏天，一個小孩兒溜溜躂躂，笑嗬嗬地來這裏找工作。我看那小孩兒挺好，就接待了他。誒！他張嘴就懵我！我是人事科長，市政府有什麽新政策，我能不知道！”
黃老師問我：“那時，你是怎麽懵她的？”
I answered as described in the previous section 5.6, Special New Policies. He said that a friend of his who worked in city called the Heping District Government, and the person who answered the phone was the Personnel Section Chief Bai, a woman. Chief Bai said: "Luyan, I remember, the summer before last, a kid came here looking for a job with a smile on his face. I saw that the kid was quite nice, so I received him. Eh! He opened his mouth to fool me! I'm the head of the personnel section, what new policies of the municipal government, that I do not know!"
Teacher Huang asked me: "At that time, how did you fool her?"
我對白科長還記得我感到驚訝，回答：“我沒騙她！又說了前文5.6節的事。”
黃老師說：“那個白科長說，我感覺這小孩兒挺好，就把他介紹到我們房產局去了。”
I was surprised that Section Chief Bai still remembered me and replied: "I didn't lie to her! I mentioned what happened in Section 5.6 above."
Teacher Huang said: "The section chief Bai said that I thought this kid was very good, so I introduced him to our Heping Housekeeping Bureau."
黃老師的朋友問：“盧岩懵她，她反而覺得他好；這是怎麽回事？”
黃老師回答：“現在的人就這樣！你有意見呐！出門辦事，找個話題說，那白科長就欣賞盧岩的謊話！認為他辦事有策略。”
我叨咕：“我沒那心眼兒！可沒有你想得那麽聰明。”
Teacher Huang's friend asked: "Luyan fooled her, but she thought he was good; what's going on?"
Teacher Huang replied: "That's how people are nowadays! You have an opinion? When you go out to do errands and find a topic to talk about, Section Chief Bai will appreciate Luyan's lies! She thinks he has a strategy in doing things."
I muttered: "I don't have that kind of mind! I'm not as smart as you think."
7.1-2 工作表現 Work Performance
黃老師又說：“這一項，說你在和平房產局的工作表現。這次我市政府的朋友仔細核實了要問的人，別把人弄錯了。你們那個人事股長XXX說：沒錯，就是這個盧岩。他說：以前我們和平房產局是個安靜的地方，自從他來了，我們這兒就熱鬧了。人們到處都在議論他，總有新奇的事發生。他說：各個部門的人都說盧岩好，咱這麽聽，那就是真不錯。XXX還舉出了例子，如前文6.2節《工作表現好》所述。”
Teacher Huang added: "This item talks about your work performance in Heping Housekeeping Bureau. This time, my friend from the city government carefully verified the person to be asked, so as not to get the wrong person. Your HR chief XXX said: Yes, this is Luyan. He said: Our Heping Housekeeping Bureau used to be a quiet place, but since he came, our place has become lively. People are talking about him everywhere, and there are always new things happening. He said: Everywhere People in the Bureau say Luyan is good, and if we hear it that way, it means he is good. XXX also gave examples, (as mentioned in Section 6.2 Good Work Performance)."
黃老師問我：“你自己覺得你的工作表現怎麽樣？”
我回答：“一般般！”
Teacher Huang asked me: "How do you feel about your work performance?"
I replied: "Just so! Average!"
黃老師和他的幫忙朋友都表示反對，辨別各個事例，那都好得出格了，又問：你怎麽幹得那麽好？
我回答：“我就沒幹什麽正經事；更談不上幹得好了！”
Teacher Huang and his helper friends both objected, identifying each case as being too good, and asked again: How do you do so well?
I replied: "I haven't done anything serious; let alone done it well!"
黃老師的幫手驚奇地說：“這可奇怪了！件件事都說明他幹得好，他自己卻沒感覺！這些事是真的還是假的？”
我回答：“是真的，但我對自己感覺不滿意！”
Teacher Huang's helper said in surprise: "This is strange! Everything shows that he has done a good job, but he doesn't feel it himself! Are these things true or false?"
I replied, "It's true, but I'm not happy with how I feel!"
黃老師的朋友說：“又一路！傻或者暪！”
黃老師說：“別說沒用的，人家都說好，你怎麽能得出了傻的結論呢！應該說是理想或者興趣兒的取向不同，個人的欣賞和追求不一樣。”
Teacher Huang's friend said: "Another path! Fool or concealment!"
Teacher Huang said: "Don't say it's useless. Others say it's good. How could you come to a stupid conclusion? It should be said that the orientation of ideals or interests is different, and personal appreciation and pursuit are different."
7.1-3 打架的事 The Fight
黃老師說：“下一個問題是關於你打架的事。這次，我特別囑咐了，別把人弄錯啦！他們仔細核實了你，說，‘肯定錯不了，就是這個盧岩。自從他來了，我們總能聽到關於他吵架的事。我們局裏這幫女的常議論，想辦法去套他，局長們也幫著出主意，可那個盧岩就是不上套兒。這幫女人越幹越來勁兒。不知道咋回事，一次，就打大分了，和平區政府出麵調解的’。這事你知道嗎？”
Teacher Huang said: "The next question is about your fight. This time, I gave special instructions not to make a mistake! They double-checked you and said, There's no mistaking it, it's this Luyan. Since he came, we always hear about his fights. The women in our bureau have been talking about it, trying to find ways to trap him, and the Bureau Chiefs have been helping with ideas, but that Luyan just won't take the bait. The more these women worked, the more they got excited. I don't know what happened, once, it hit the big score, the Heping District government to mediate their dispute. Luyan! Do you know the affair?"
我回答：“你說了，我才知道的。我知道有很多次，很多人商量辦法來逗我。我不記得曾經打起來了。在和平房產局，我就沒和人打過架，更不記得和平區政府幹預過我的事。”
黃老師的朋友問：“她們是怎麽套你的？”
I replied: "I only knew about it when you told me. I know there were many times when many people discussed ways to tease me. I don't remember ever getting into a fight. I never fought with anyone at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau, and I don't remember the Heping District Government interfering with me."
Teacher Huang's friend asked, "How did they set you up?"
我回答：“她們就像是逗愣子似的，逗我，取笑給大夥兒看熱鬧。那事兒、那話題，我不總是感興趣。”
黃老師瞪著眼睛看著我：“就沒有和平區政府調解你打架那回事？”
I replied: "They were like teasers, teasing me, making fun for the crowd. I'm not always interested in that kind of affairs, that kind of topic."
Teacher Huang stared at me with wide eyes: "Wasn’t there such a affair as the Heping District government mediating your fight?"
我回答：“我自己不認為我自己愛打架，在和平房產局就沒和人打架過；我不記得什麽時候和平區政府為我調解過打架的事。”
I replied: "I don't think I love to fight, and I've never fought with anyone in the Heping Housekeeping Bureau; I don't remember when the Heping District Government mediated a fight for me."
7.1-4 假檔案 Fake Files
黃老師說：“下一項是東北大學研究生院。我自己去了東北大學的檔案館，看了你的檔案，那是一份假的。你怎麽放那裏一份假檔案？當然，我這是給人介紹對象，是私事，不是公事。”
Teacher Huang said: "The next item is the Graduate School of Northeastern University. I went to the archives of Northeastern University and looked at your file, and it was a fake one. How did you put there a fake file? Of course, I'm making an introduction, a private matter, not a public matter."
我回答：“和平房產局不同意我讀研究生，不給我檔案。王剛我表姐找他們要，他們也不給；她就弄了份假檔案，放在那裏了。她說，‘除了她們研究生管理辦公室的人，就沒有別人去看檔案’。”
黃老師問：“她從哪兒弄來的那份假檔案？”
I replied: " Heping Housekeeping Bureau does not agree to my graduate studies and does not give me my file. Wang Gang my cousin asked them for it, and they wouldn't give it; so, she got a fake file and put it there. She said, 'No one else went to see the file except for the people in their graduate management office'."
Teacher Huang asked: "Where did she get that fake file?"
我回答：“不知道，我沒問過她。”
黃老師驚訝地說：“這你怎麽能不知道呢！”
I replied: "I don't know, I didn't ask her."
Teacher Huang was surprised and said: "How can you not know this!"
我回答：“我現在也想不出我有什麽必要知道那事。”
他的朋友問：“如果這假檔案的事暴露了，會怎麽樣？”
I replied: "I do not think right now what I need to know about that."
His friend asked: "What will happen if this fake file thing is exposed?"
黃老師說：“現在人們都不重視個人檔案的事了，但檔案機製仍然是國家機關有效的一部分。如過這假檔案的事暴露了，那還是公事公辦，盧岩得回去和平房產局，他的研究生的事就全白費了。盧岩！你的秘密在我們這裏很安全；我們絕對不會幹那種缺德事。”
Teacher Huang said: "People don't pay much attention to personal files nowadays, but the file mechanism is still an effective part of the state organization. If this fake file thing is exposed, it's still a public matter, Luyan must go back to the Heping Housekeeping Bureau, and his postgraduate work will all be for nothing. Luyan! Your secret is safe with us; we will never do that kind of unethical thing."
黃老師說：“我去了你們資源土木工程學院的辦公室；他們對你有點意見，你知道不？”
我回答：“不知道，沒人會注意到我吧！？”
Teacher Huang said, "I went to the office of your Resource Civil Engineering Department (or Institute); they have a bit of a problem with you, don’t you know?"
I replied, "I don't know, no one would notice me, right!?"
黃老師說：“他們人人都知道你（注4）；你的問題我們知道原因。”
我啞口無言，不知所措。
Teacher Huang said, "Everyone of them knows you (Note 4); we know the reason for your problem."
I was dumbfounded and at a loss for words.
注7.1-4，那時，我在東北大學資源土木工程學院裏被人議論，是因為黃老師和劉團長的多次調查。
Note 7.1-4. At that time, I was discussed in the Resource Civil Engineering Department (or Institute) of Northeastern University because of many investigations by Teacher Huang and Troupe Leader Liu.
7.1-5 我對此調查耿耿於懷 I Worried the Investigation
我對如此詳細的調查深感迷惑，就向我哥哥詢問。他那時是沈陽軍區東塔運輸團的飛行員。
他回答，部下給老領導的孩子介紹對象。老領導當然要問，他是哪個大學畢業的？工作表現得怎麽樣？不單單部隊裏這樣，社會上不也這樣嗎！這調查的深淺因人而異，可能你說的那位黃老師辦事認真，就調查得深入了些。
我覺得哥哥說的有道理。
Puzzled by such a detailed investigation, I asked my brother. At that time, he was a pilot of the East Tower Transportation Group of the Shenyang Military Region.
He replied that the subordinates would introduce someone to the old leader's child; of course, the old leader must ask, which university did he graduate from? How is his job performance? This is not only true in the army, but also in society! The depth of this investigation varies from person to person. Maybe the teacher Huang you mentioned is serious about his work, so the investigation was more in-depth.
I think what my brother said makes sense.
7.2 劉健君 Eve Liu
一天，我在路上遇見黃老師，他告訴我，他把調查我的報告交上去了，就開始跟我說劉健君。他說：“這次我來東北大學讀博士，還有另一個任務，就是給我們老校長的女兒劉健君找對象。從她上大學開始，我們就委托親戚朋友在全國各名牌大學裏給她介紹男朋友，到現在我們已經介紹一百多個了，就是不成。這事，我們是越辦越急，現在都急到火燒眉毛了。人家男朋友談崩了，不奇怪，我們怎麽能立刻給她介紹新的，上哪兒找去！我們也有經驗了，為她提前準備著。她爸說，現在她有對象，不過依他看，這個又維持不了多久了。”
我聽後，非常氣憤：要見她，我還要先排隊！她是誰呀！
One day, I met Teacher Huang on the road. He told me that he had handed in the report on my investigation and started talking to me about Eve Liu. He said: "This time I came to Northeastern University to study for my Ph.D., and I have another task, which is to find a boyfriend for Eve Liu, the daughter of our old principal. Since she went to university, we have entrusted relatives and friends to find her a boyfriend in prestigious universities across the country. We have introduced more than 100 boyfriends so far, but it just doesn't work. We are getting more and more anxious about this matter, and now it is urgent. It is not surprising that the relationship with her boyfriend has collapsed. How can we immediately introduce her a new boyfriend? Where can I find them! Now, we have experience and are preparing for her in advance. Her dad said that now she has a boyfriend, but in his opinion, this will not last long. "
After hearing this, I was very angry: If I want to see her, I must queue up first! Who is she!
注7.2-1，本《真人醫學實驗》（參見4.5節）是根據本書第2章的《桃花劫 》故事改編的。和那個古代故事裏的桃花女一樣，劉健君也相親無數次，就是不成婚姻。插圖7.2是玉女（即夏娃）的特質畫，圖1和2是少女夏娃，圖3至6是21至38.7歲年齡段的夏娃，又名千手千眼觀音，圖7和8是眾生之母夏娃。
Note 7.2-1, This Real-Life Medical Experiment (see Section 4.5) is based on the Peach Flower Catastrophe in Chapter 2 of this book. Like the Peach Flower Girl in that ancient tale, Eve Liu has been on countless blind dates but just can't get married. Illustration 7.2 is a characteristic painting of the Jade Girl (i.e. Eve). Figures 1 and 2 are of the young girl Eve, Figures 3 to 6 are of Eve aged between 21 and 38.7 years old, also known as the “Thousand-hand and Thousand-eye View-sound”, and Figures 7 and 8 are of Eve, the mother of all livings.
7.2-2 特殊的高中 Special High School
一天，在宿舍的走廊裏，黃老師看見我，說要對我說說劉健君。她是他們沈陽炮兵學院建校時老校長的長女，自幼就聰明。在穿開襠褲的時候，她就一轉臉想出個新主意，一轉身玩出個新花樣兒。
我問：“什麽新主意？”
One day, in the corridor of the dormitory, Teacher Huang saw me and said he wanted to tell me about Eve Liu. She was the eldest daughter of the old principal of the Shenyang Artillery Academy when it was founded and had been smart since childhood. When wearing crotch pants, she turned her face to come up with a new idea, a turn to play a new trick.
I asked, "What new idea?"
黃老師說：“她想讓我跟她玩，讓我抱她啊！抱起來，就放不下了，一會兒一個主意。那時候，他爸爸就是位師級幹部。我是從四川來的義務兵。她爸爸四十來歲才有的她，那真是喜歡得不得了，頂在頭上怕摔著，看在眼裏怕燙著，含在嘴裏怕化了。劉健君也確實招人喜歡，人活潑好動，學習也好，從幼兒園到小學、中學、大學、研究生，一直成績優異，都是在天才班。她就這麽一直在上學，直到現在研究生快畢業了。她的相貌一般，不好看，也不難看；個頭不高也不矮，身材不胖不瘦的。相貌這事兒，個人喜好不同，你得自己看。”
Teacher Huang said: "She wanted me to play with her, let me hug her ah! Once I left her up, couldn’t put her down, it's an idea for a while. At that time, his father was a division officer. I was a conscript from Sichuan. Her father was about forty years old before having her, that really like it, on top of the head for fear of falling, look in the eyes for fear of scalding, in the mouth for fear of melting. Eve Liu was lovable indeed, lively, and active, learning is also good, from kindergarten to elementary school, secondary school, university, graduate school, has been excellent grades, all are in the gifted class. She just kept on going to school until now when she is almost graduated from graduate school. Her appearance is average, not good-looking, not ugly; neither tall or short nor fat or thin. The matter of looks, personal preference is different, you have to see for yourself."
黃老師又說：“噢！對了，她的高中不是一般的高中；怎麽說呢？” 黃老師說著，停下了，轉身看著我。
我說：“天才班！”
黃老師轉回身又開始想，說：“不是天才班；好像是種什麽培訓。”
Teacher Huang added: "Oh! Her high school isn't just any high school; how so?" Mr. Huang said, stopped, and turned to look at me.
I said: "Gifted class!"
Teacher Huang turned back around and started thinking again and said: "It's not a gifted class; it seems to be some kind of training."
我問：“那她念的不是高中啊？”
黃老師想了一會兒，回答：“是高中！”
我說：“是個特殊的班，某種定向培養的班？”
I asked: "Then it's not high school she's attending?"
Teacher Huang thought for a moment and replied: "It's a high school!"
I said: "Is it a special class, some kind of directed training?"
他說：“你說特殊的培訓班也可以。那個班的名字也特殊；我怎麽就想不起來了呢！”
我說：“沒關係，現在她研究生都快畢業了，還追究那個高中培訓班的名字幹什麽！”
He said: "You can say special training class too. The name of that class was special too; why can't I remember!"
I said: "It doesn't matter; now that she's almost out of graduate school, what's the point of pursuing the name of that high school training class!"
黃老師堅持在想，我不耐煩地說：“別想了，高中對她已經不重要了。”
他卻說：“我向你保證，下次我見到她爸媽的時候，我再問問那個班的名字。”
Teacher Huang insisted on thinking about it, and I said impatiently: "Don't think about it; high school doesn't matter to her anymore."
Instead, he said: "I promise you, the next time I see her parents, I'll ask about the name of that class."
幾天後，我又遇見黃老師，他說他要道歉。我注意地聽。他說他昨天遇見劉健君她媽媽，忘記問劉健君高中時的那個培訓班的名字了。
我生氣地回答：“上次我們不是說，沒必要問嗎！”
他說：“我答應的事就一定要做到。”
A few days later, I met Teacher Huang again and he said he wanted to apologize. I listened attentively. He said that he met Eve Liu's mother yesterday and forgot to ask the name of the training class Eve Liu attended in high school.
I replied angrily: "Didn't we say last time that there was no need to ask!"
He said: "I must do what I promised."
幾天後我又遇見他，他又說他要道歉。我注意地聽。他說前天遇見劉健君她爸爸，又忘問她高中時的那個培訓班的名字了。
我氣憤地回答：“你煩人不！我什麽時候讓你問過！”
I met him again a few days later and he again said he wanted to apologize. I listened attentively. He said that he met Eve Liu's father the day before yesterday and forgot to ask her the name of the training class she attended in high school.
I replied angrily: "Aren't you annoying! When did I ask you to ask!"
他立刻轉過身去，彎著腰。我意識到失禮了，趕忙追過去道歉。他覺察到了，又轉身，彎腰成90度，不理我。
我愣愣地等了一會兒之後說：“你還有完沒完？我不是道歉了麽！”
他沒反應。事情這樣持續了很長時間。他轉回來對我說，剛才不是因為你，是我想起了別的事，矜持不住了。
He immediately turned away and bent over. I realized I was rude and rushed over to apologize. He noticed it, turned around again, bent at 90 degrees, and ignored me.
I waited blankly for a while and then said: "Aren’t you still finished? Didn't I apologize!?"
He didn't respond. Things went on like this for a long time. He turned back me and said: “It wasn't because of you; it was because I thought of other things and couldn't hold myself back any longer.”
注7.2-2，為什麽黃老師要讓我知道她上了個特別的高中，卻又不告訴我那個培訓班的名字？答：後文劉健君也對我說起了她的高中：在中國醫科大學的巴甫洛夫樓裏。2014年，寫回憶錄時，我才注意到此事。本書4.5 節《真人醫學實驗的報紙新聞》中說了，這醫學實驗的女子組是 “集中培訓” （即女神集中訓練營，亞馬遜） 。此事，劉團長要讓我知道，卻又不能讓我在那時就明白；他要讓我寫回憶錄時才能注意到，聯係起來，猜到她就是那個為科學研究自願獻身的女孩兒。
Note 7.2-2, why did Teacher Huang want me to know that she went to a special high school, but didn’t tell me the name of the training class? Answer: Later in the article, Eve Liu also told me about her high school: in the Pavlov Building of Chinese Medical University. I only noticed this in 2014 when I was writing my memoirs. Section 4.5 of this book, "Newspaper News of Real-life Medical Experiments," mentioned that the female group of this medical experiment was "concentrated training", (that is, the goddess concentration training camp, Amazon). Troupe Leader Liu wanted me to know about this, but he couldn't let me understand it at that time; he wanted me to notice it when I wrote my memoirs, connect it, and guess that she was the girl who voluntarily sacrificed her life for scientific research.
7.2-3 女神的現象 Phenomena of Goddess
一天，介紹人黃老師告訴我，劉健君的父母同意了，她本人也願意和我見麵談談，又給我介紹她的情況，說到她的長相：“誒！你見過她！”
我沒記憶，問道：“我什麽時候見過她？”
One day, the introducer, Teacher Huang, told me that Eve Liu’s parents agreed, and she was willing to meet and talk with me. Teacher Huang introduced her situation to me again, and when it came to her appearance, he said: “Hey! You’ve seen her!”
I had no memory and asked: "When did I see her?"
黃老師忍俊不禁地笑著說：“那天她來我這兒辦事兒，和我嘮嗑。你從門口過，看見她了。她出去的時候，你遇見她了；好像你還回頭看了。那時我在門口呢，你沒看我。”
我記得是有那麽回事，但回憶不起來她的長相，就說，“我不記得了”。他說：“沒關係，那可能是你沒注意。”
Teacher Huang couldn't help laughing and said: "That day she came to my place to do errands and chatted with me. You passed by the door and saw her. When she went out, you met her; it seemed that you looked back. At that time, I I'm at the door, you're not looking at me."
I remembered that it happened, but I couldn't recall her appearance, so I said, "I don't remember." He said: "It doesn't matter! Maybe you didn't pay attention."
後來我自己回憶，我回寢室取飯盒路過他屋的門口，看見他屋有個女的隨意對著門口，斜仰著坐在床上，還側身在聽。下半身的姿勢是三十多歲女人的姿勢；可她的上半身側麵傾聽，看著應該是十六七歲的少女姿態。她出來時，我們對麵走過，我看見她了，像是個生疏的新學生，但沒看清，像似我看不見她似的（如圖7.2-3）。那時，感覺奇怪：我的視力怎麽變得這麽差了！開始檢測自己的視力。她走路哢哢作響，我回頭看，是個訓練有素的女軍官形象，約二十五六歲；但是記憶中都沒有臉，都是線條整齊的輪廓。
Later, I recalled that when I went back to the dormitory to get my lunch box and passed by the door of his room, I saw a woman in his room casually facing the door, leaning back on the bed, and listening. The posture of her lower body was that of a woman in her thirties; but the top half of her, she listened sideways, she looked at the posture of a girl who must have been sixteen or seventeen years old. When she came out, we walked across from each other. I saw her, like a new and unfamiliar student, but I didn't see her clearly, as if I couldn't see her (see fig. 7.2-3). At that time, I felt strange: Why did my eyesight become so bad! Start testing my own vision. She walked with a clicking sound. When I looked back, I saw that she was a well-trained female military officer, about 25 or 26 years old. But in my memory, there was no face, only neat outlines.
注7.2-3，回憶中，她的各個姿態動作不相配，畫麵破碎，合不到一起（如圖7.2-4）；我還以為是幾個女人呢！和她交往那段時間，我發現自己回憶不出她的長相，仔細辨認，所辨認的圖像總是變成沒有生命的枯木、石頭、腐朽的垃圾（如圖7.2-4中的大腿）等，總覺得自己的眼睛出了毛病。在2021年，我看到了墨西哥沙門教中對皮主（Xipe Totec）與眼疾有關的描述，才明白了那是劉健君的女人皮，即五百威儀十萬八千魅力（參見16.2節的離垢地），產生的現象。
Note 7.2-3, in my memory, her various postures and movements did not match together (see fig. 7.2-4), the picture was broken and could not be put together; I thought it was several women! During the time I was dating her, I found that I couldn't recall her appearance. When I looked at her carefully in my mind, the images I recognized always turned into lifeless dead wood, stones, rotten garbage (see the thighs as shown in Figure 7.2-4), etc. I always felt that there was something wrong with my eyes. In 2021, I saw the description of the Xipe Totec related to eye diseases in Mexican Shamanism, and then I realized that it was Eve Liu’s “woman skins”, which is “500 Majesties and 108,000 Charms” (cf. section 16.2), caused phenomena (see fig. 17.2).
7.3 相親 Blind Date
見麵那天，黃老師告訴我，她很注重接人待物的言談舉止，讓我注意些。我跟著他來到了中國醫科大學。當時太陽剛落山，天地都是灰蒙蒙的（注1）。我還在問黃老師：“在哪兒見麵？”
On the day we met, Teacher Huang told me that she pays great attention to the way she talks and behaves when dealing with people and asked me to pay more attention to it. I followed him to China Medical University. The sun had just set at that time, and the sky and the earth were gray (Note 1). I'm still asking Teacher Huang: "Are we there yet?"
他回答：“就在前麵，到了，她在那兒等著呐！”
我意識到了我們來到了中國醫科大學的正門口，我還在看醫大的校名牌子，覺察到劉健君從另一麵走近了我們。她可能是從校門對麵路邊很快地走過來的。
He replied: "Right in front, here, she is waiting there!"
I realized that we had arrived at the main entrance of China Medical University. I was still looking at the name of the medical university when I noticed that Eve Liu walked into us from the other side. She probably came quickly from the road opposite the school gate.
黃老師給我們倆作介紹。我的注意力還沒收回來呢！沒看清她。她伸出手來和我握手。我趕忙伸手，距離她太遠。我彎腰，像鞠躬似的伸手，還是沒夠著她。我尷尬得無地自容（注2），血向上湧。她上前一步和我握手。我還沒從尷尬的雲裏霧裏緩過來！抬頭發現劉健君和黃老師都筆直地站在我的前麵，看著我。我意識到自己的站相不好，趕忙挺起胸，站直了。
Teacher Huang introduced us both. I haven't regained my attention yet! Didn't see her clearly. She extended her hand to shake my hand. I reached out quickly, but it was too far away from her. I bent down and stretched out my hand like a bow but still couldn't reach her. I was so embarrassed (Note 2) that my blood surged upwards. She stepped forward and shook my hand. I haven't recovered from the embarrassing fog yet! I looked up and found that Eve Liu and Teacher Huang were both standing upright in front of me, looking at me. I realized that my posture was not good, so I quickly straightened my chest and stood up straight.
注1，太陽落山後的灰色是無意識默認的空色；在此天色中，無意識不采集觀察對象的特征。也就是說，如果劉健君扮夏娃有瑕疵，會被這種天色所掩蓋。這也是後文，我回憶不起來她外貌的原因之一。
注2，羞，能讓人的思維和行動遲緩，能使人喪失社會功能。
Note 1, the gray after the sun sets is the unconscious default empty color; in this sky color, the unconscious does not collect the characteristics of the observed object. In other words, if Eve Liu’s performance as Eve was flawed, it would be covered up by this pervasively gray color. This is also one of the reasons why I can't recall her appearance later.
Note 2, Shy can slow down people's thinking and actions, and can cause people to lose social functions.
7.3-2 出乎意料 Unexpected
還沒說什麽呢，我看見劉健君氣憤地朝著黃老師一擺頭，意思是：你還站這兒幹嘛！快離開！那氣勢比舊社會地主惡霸對待傭人還差。黃老師也是滿臉的憤怒。我不知發生了什麽事，他倆怎麽打起來啦！黃老師向我勉強地做了個輕鬆的表情，說：“沒事，你們倆自己聊吧，我先走了。” 我支支吾吾地想緩和氣氛。黃老師走了。我眼看著劉健君的臉色變了，對我笑了，像似沒事發生一樣。我立刻問：“怎麽了？黃老師好像生氣了？”
Before I could say anything, I saw Eve Liu angrily waving her head towards Teacher Huang, meaning what are you still standing here for! Get out of here! That aura was worse than that of a landlord's bully treating his servants in the old society. Teacher Huang was also full of anger. I didn't know what was going on, why they were fighting! Mr. Huang gave me a reluctant look of relief and said, "It's okay, you two talks among yourselves, I'll leave first." I stammered, trying to lighten the mood. Teacher Huang left. I watched as Eve Liu's face changed and smiled at me like nothing happened. I immediately asked: "What's wrong? Teacher Huang seems angry?"
她走進我，耳朵湊到我的嘴邊，頭發擦到了我的臉了。聽後，她向後退了兩、三步，立正，站得筆直，笑著對我說，還擺了擺頭：“啊！沒事，某倆就這樣兒！”
我迷惑不解：“你們倆，怎麽這樣兒啊？”
She walked in on me and put her ear to my mouth, her hair brushing my face. After hearing this, she took two or three steps back, stood at attention, said to me with a smile, and shook her head: "Ah! It's okay, that's all for the two of us!"
I was confused: "Why are you two like this?"
她想了想，認真地說：“好像是從我上高中的時候開始的。他一見我，就和我生氣。沒事兒，一會兒就好。” 說著，她指著黃老師去的方向說：“你看！”
She thought for a while and said seriously: "It seems to have started when I was in high school. As soon as he saw me, he got angry with me. It's okay, it will be fine in a while." As she said that, she pointed in the direction of Teacher Huang and said: "Look!"
我轉身看，黃老師沒有從我們來的路回去，他踢著軍人的正步，向反方向走去；走了三十幾米遠後，放鬆了，變成了如釋重負的青少年神態，搖晃著，吹著口哨，酷起來了。
I turned to look, and Teacher Huang didn't go back the way we came, he kicked his military goose-steps and walked in the opposite direction; after walking thirty or so meters away, he relaxed into a relieved teenage demeanor, shaking, whistling, and being cool.
劉健君說：“你看，我說沒事吧！這兒人多，走，咱們去那邊走走。” 說著，她就快速地向我們來時的方向走去。
我四處看：這裏隻有我們兩個人，就叨咕：“哪兒有人，我怎麽沒看見（注3）！？”
Eve Liu said: "Look, I said it's okay! It's crowded here, come on, let's walk over there." With that, she quickly walks in the direction we came from.
I looked around: there were only two of us here, so I chattered: "Where's someone, why don't I see (Note 3)!"
注3，我失智了，就像卡通漫畫裏的情節一樣。這時我變成了小孩兒，頭腦簡單，天真，就是我的思想範疇收縮到很小了。這是我的前意識，這個思想意識工作平台，不斷地被大量更新造成的；前意識內容變少，我的世界就變小了，思維就簡單且單純了。
Note 3, I lose my mind, just like in a cartoon. This is when I become a child, simple-minded and naïve, that is, my sphere of thought shrinks to a very small size. This is caused by my pre-consciousness, the conscious working platform, being constantly and heavily updated; the content of my pre-consciousness becomes less, my world becomes smaller, and my thinking is simple and innocent.
7.3-3 慚愧 Shame
她走了幾步，回頭看見我還站在那兒，喊道：“你怎麽不走啊！？” 她向黃老師消失的方向看了看，說： “你看，我們科長來了，快走！” 說著她已經回到了我的旁邊，然後，又迅速地離去了。
She walked a few steps, turned around and saw me still standing there, and shouted, "Why don't you leave!?" She looked in the direction where Teacher Huang disappeared and said, "Look, our section chief is coming, let's go quickly!” As she said this, she came back to my side, and then left quickly.
我回頭看，沒看見人（注，我沒看40、50米的遠處）。她走幾步，又回來了，說：“別看呐！哎呀！走！我介紹你和他認識！” 她就向那人走去！我慢慢地跟著她，走一段路後，想：這麽遠，還過去打招呼！走到距離那人十五六米遠處，我站住了。她們那位科長看我站住了，他也站住了。他是個身高1.85米，罕見的帥小夥兒，舉止大方得體，和我年紀相仿。劉健君發現不對勁，回頭看我。但是已經晚了，尷尬的局麵是說話的距離太遠。
I looked back and saw no one (note, I didn’t look 40 or 50 meters away). She came back and said: "Don't look at it! Oops! Walk! Let me introduce you to him!" She walked towards that person! I followed her slowly. After walking for a while, I thought, “It's so far away, why should we go over and say hello!” When I walked around fifteen meters away from the person, I stopped. The section chief saw me stopped, and so did he. He was a rare handsome guy with a height of 1.85 meters, and he was about the same age as me. Eve Liu noticed something was wrong and looked back at me, but it was too late, and she was embarrassed. The situation is that the speaking distance is too far.
劉健君也覺得難為情了，說：“你怎麽不過來！” 那位科長笑著說：“這樣說說話挺好！” 她介紹完後，和他說話。這時，我感覺自己是在軍營裏，真的是沒人樣兒了。幾句之後，那科長走了，劉健君笑著目送著，轉身，立正，臉色驟然變得憤怒。我趕忙支支吾吾地道歉。她的臉色變得異常迅速，笑了，快步走到我麵前，側耳傾聽。她的頭發又觸及我的臉了，對我像似老熟人一樣。聽完後，她後退，立正，笑著說：“啊！沒關係，我跟他很熟。這裏是校門口，總是人來人往的；走！咱們到那邊走走！” 說著，她先走了。
Eve Liu also felt embarrassed and said: "Why don't you come over here!" The section chief smiled and said: "It's good to talk like this!" After her introduction, she spoke to him. At this point, I felt like I was in a military barracks, and was out of shape. After a few sentences, that section chief left, Eve Liu smiled and eyed him, turned around, stood at attention, and her face suddenly became angry. I hurriedly stammered an apology. Her face became unusually swift, smiled, and walked quickly to me, listening with her sideways ear. Her hair was touching my face again, treating me like an old acquaintance. When she had finished listening, she stepped back, stood at attention, and said with a smile: "Ah! It's okay, I know him well. This is the entrance to the school, and there are always people coming and going; come on! Let's walk over there!" Saying that, she went first.
我羞愧得身體輕飄飄的；思想意識內斂來保持身體的平衡，不要摔倒。雖然地球的引力消失了，我感覺不會摔倒，才左右看，找她，她不見了。她在遠處的馬路中央喊我：“你怎麽啦！我在這兒呢！” 她回來了，問：“怎麽啦？你怎麽不走！走啊！” 說著，她轉身又向馬路中央走去了。
I was so ashamed that my body was fluttering lightly; my mind and consciousness introspected to keep my body balanced and not to fall. Though the earth's gravity disappeared, I felt like I wouldn't fall before I looked around, looking for her; she was gone. She called out to me from the center of the road in the distance: "What's wrong with you! I'm here!" She came back and asked: "What's wrong? Why don't you go! Go!" With that, she turned and walked back toward the center of the road.
7.3-4 還是慚愧 Still Ashamed
我慢慢地向她走去；她回來和我說話：“我聽黃老師說，你在東北大學讀在職的研究生？” 這種天色，在馬路的中央，我感到焦慮，努力地集中精力，想‘他說我讀在職的研究生，他們也分不清在職的和統考全職的，’ 自我介紹說：“是，我在東北大學學土建。” 她說：“你的情況，黃老師都跟我說了；他說你愛打架，有一次你打架，和平區政府出麵調解，那是怎麽回事？”這時，我思想得很慢。我想（我自己在心裏念），‘我的情況，黃老師都跟你說了，那我沒什麽說的了；他說我愛打架’，我回答：“我不認為自己愛打架，不記得什麽時候打架和平區政府為我調解。” 她聽後站住了，轉過身去，不出聲了。
I walked towards her slowly. She came back and talked to me: "I heard from Teacher Huang that you are a part-time graduate student at Northeastern University?" In this kind of dusk, in the middle of the highway, I felt anxious and tried hard to concentrate, and thought, 'She said that I am a part-time graduate student, and they can't tell the difference between part-time and full-time students,' so introduced myself: "Yes, I am studying civil engineering at Northeastern University." She said, "In your case, Teacher Huang has told me; he said you love to fight. One time you had a fight and the Heping District Government intervened. What happened?” At this time, I thought very slowly. I thought (I said to myself), 'Teacher Huang has told you about my situation, so I have nothing to say; he said I love fighting', I replied: 'I don't think I love fighting, I don't remember when there is such a fight that the district government mediated for me." After hearing this, she stopped, turned away, and became silent.
我問她：“你是學什麽專業的？”
過了一會兒，她轉回身說：“我是學臨床的。” 我表示不懂，她說：“說說你們土建吧，你們都幹些什麽？”
I asked her: "What major do you major in?"
After a while, she turned back and said, "I'm a clinical major." I said I didn't understand, so she said: "Tell me about your civil engineering. What do you do?"
我從來沒想過這個問題，回答：“我們土建看著工程很大，按程序分解後，到各部門人所做的具體工作，都說簡單到加減乘除不帶括號。設計上，第一堂課老師就告訴我們：粗梁胖柱深基礎。就是樓房的梁，粗一點兒好，結實；柱子也是粗一點兒的好，結實；地基基礎挖深一點好，承載力高。樓房建好後，不歪不倒是最重要的考慮。施工方麵，先挖地基，挖個大坑，然後測承載力。承載力夠了，就澆築混凝土地基。就這麽一步一步的向上蓋樓。許多時候，我們一個月也碰不上一個技術問題，所以在工地，我們都沒人談技術，都談些東家長西家短等沒用的東西。”
I have never thought about this question, answered: "Our civil engineering project looks very big. After breaking it down according to the procedures, the specific work done by people in each department is as simple as addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division without parentheses. In terms of design, the first the teacher in class told us: thick beams, fat columns, and deep foundations. That are the thicker columns and beams are better, stronger; deeper foundation is good, stable. The most important thing to consider is whether it will tilt or collapse. In terms of construction, first dig the foundation and then measure the bearing capacity, then pour the concrete foundation step by step. Normally we don’t encounter a single technical problem in a month, so at the construction site, no one talks about technology, but only useless things that are short-lived.”
劉健君問：“那你們建築業就沒有些複雜的？”
我心想，當然有，可那些我都沒學明白！說：“建築是傳統行業，正常的是按規矩和過去的經驗辦事；很多複雜的東西，像我這樣的人可能一輩子遇不上。對於那些，我們隻是和其他人一樣，看看熱鬧。”
Eve Liu asked: "Then your construction industry is not complicated?"
I thought to myself, “of course there is, but I haven’t learned that yet”, said: "Construction is a traditional industry, and it is normal to do things according to rules and past experiences; there are many complicated things that people like me may not encounter in a lifetime. For those, we are just like other people, watching the excitement."
她轉過身去，又不說話了。
我不知如何是好，呆滯了。
She turned away and said nothing again.
I didn't know what to do and was sluggish.
她轉回來，說：“也是！你和我聊建築，就談不起來。這裏是路，咱們到那邊走走。哎！我看你的臉色不好，你是不是病了？”她一再要送我去醫院。
我回答我沒病。她再次改變了去向，我們來到了路邊的人行路。她不說話，走得很快。
She turned back and said, "That's right! You and I can't talk about architecture. This is the road, let's go for a walk over there. Hey! I see you don't look good. Are you sick?" she asked again and again, wanted to send me to the hospital.
I replied that I was not sick. She changed direction again and we came to the sidewalk at the side of the road. She didn't speak and walked very quickly.
7.3-5 玉女騎虎 Jade Girl Riding Tiger
我患了什麽病？被女神創傷了。劉健君具有女神的外貌（參見10.8 《神的外貌》）和行為舉止（即五百威儀十萬八千魅力，參見16.2節《離垢地》）。她感召力強大，情緒、麵目表情一直在迅速改變著，改主意像似出撲克牌似的。我的情感隨著她在迅速變化著，從一見麵就一次次地超越著極限。就這樣，我被她刺激傷了，或說我被她房（剋）傷了。這是神病。現代醫學中沒有關於這種病的說法，他們也知道，但沒人研究，因為原因太複雜，實驗期最短五年，不出成果。
What is the disease I suffer from? Traumatized by the Goddess Eve Liu. She has the goddess appearance (see 10.8 Appearance of God) and demeanor (i.e., 500 Majesties 108,000 Charms, cf. 16.2 Leaving Filth Heartland). Her influencing power was so powerful, and her moods and facial expressions changed rapidly all the time, as if she were playing poker. My emotions were changing rapidly along with hers from the moment we met and went beyond the limits again and again. In this way, I was injured by her stimulation, or rather I was hurt by her aura (being besieged, being bottled, being pinched). This is a god disease (cf. 10.8 Appearance of God). There is nothing about this disease in modern medicine, and they know about it, but no one studies it, because the causes are too complex, the experimental period is five years at the shortest, and which is not fruitful often.
插圖7.3-5-2是古墨西哥文化中與本文類似的案例。下麵的D和C是墨西哥（又名特拉洛克Tlaloc）和翠玉女（Chalchiuhtlicue）年青時相親的畫麵。圖C顯示翠玉女毫不留情地刺傷了墨西哥的心，正一口一口地蠶食著墨西哥的心。這圖是墨西哥被翠玉女刺激傷後，墮入了地獄（即患了精神病），在地獄裏畫的。他就想啊，那時翠玉女年紀青青，沒有這壞心眼兒，肯定是她爸舍利王，那個老魔鬼（如圖B），和她媽媽，那個黑巫婆（如圖A，蔻特鶹鵂 Coatlicue）唆使她這麽幹的。圖D顯示，墨西哥想出了舍利王（B）陷害自己的經過後，對舍利王的敬畏之心油然而生。
Illustration 7.3-5-2 is a case like this article in ancient Mexican culture. D and C below are scene of a blind date between Mexico (also known as Tlaloc) and Chalchiuhtlicue when they were young. Picture C shows that the Jade Girl stabbed Mexico's heart mercilessly and is eating away at Mexico's heart bit by bit. This picture was painted in hell after Mexico was stimulated and injured by Jade Girl and fell into hell (i.e., suffered from mental illness). He just thought that at that time, the jade girl was young and not so evil-minded. She must be her father, Huitzilopochtli, the old devil (picture B), and her mother, the black witch (picture A) Coatlicue instigated her to do this. Picture D shows that after Mexico figured out how the Huitzilopochtli (B) framed him, he was in awe of Huitzilopochtli.
圖7.3-5-1是中華文化中與本文類似的案例，玉女騎虎，是說當金童被玉女刺激傷了，墮入地獄後，領悟了自己墮入地獄的原因是被玉女女神刺激傷了。據說當人恨仇人到了極點就想吃仇人的肉，所以古人說金童墮入地獄後變成了老虎。可是，玉女是女神，出神身血即墮地獄（參見13.1.1《地獄趣》），所以金童吃不到玉女的肉，所以古人把金童與玉女的關係比喻成了 “玉女騎虎”。
Figure 7.3-5-1 is a case like this article in Chinese culture. The Jade Girl Riding a Tiger means that when the golden boy was stimulated and injured by the Jade Girl and fell into hell, he realized that the reason why he fell into hell was because he was stimulated and injured by the Jade-Girl Goddess. It is said that when a person hates his enemy to the extreme, he wants to eat his enemy's flesh, so the ancients said that the golden boy turned into a tiger after falling into hell. However, the Jade Girl is a goddess, and bleeding god is a crime of Anti (see 13.1.1 "Hell Interest "), so the Golden Boy cannot eat the Jade Girl's flesh, so the ancients likened the relationship between the Golden Boy and the Jade Girl to "the Jade Girl riding a tiger".
7.3-6 慚愧 Ashamed
我趕忙跑著追了過去，問她：“你要帶我去什麽地方？”
劉健君回答：“不去什麽地方。我們就是隨便走走，你怎麽這麽想？”
I hurriedly ran after her and asked: "Where are you taking me?"
Eve Liu replied: "We're not going anywhere. We're just walking around. Why do you think so?"
我說：“你看你，走得那麽快，就像似趕去約會。”
她好像忘記了不愉快：“啊！那我們走慢些。你的英語怎麽樣？”
I said: "Look at you, you are walking so fast, as if you are rushing to go on a date."
She seemed to have forgotten the unpleasantness: "Ah! Let's walk slower then. How is your English?"
我想了想，回答：“我上大學的時候，是二級；現在比那時好一些，正準備考六級。”
她聽了就開始若有所思，說：“二級是什麽呀！你竟瞎說，哪裏有二級！”
I thought for a while and answered: "When I went to college, I was in CET-2. Now I'm better than then, and I'm preparing to take the CET-6 exam."
After hearing this, she began to think deeply and said: "What is the second level! You are talking nonsense, where can there be a second level!"
我回答：“我以前是大專畢業。我們的英語就要求通過二級。”
她想了很長時間，說：“啊哦！我想起來了，我上高中的時候，考過一級。”
I answered: "I used to graduate from a college. Our English requirement is CET-2."
She thought about it for a long time and said: "Oh! I remembered it. When I was in high school, I passed CET-1."
我問：“那你的英語現在是幾級？”
她回答：“現在哪還有人說英語幾級！不過，我是在大一上學期的時候，通過的六級。”
I asked: "What level is your English now?"
She replied: "How can anyone speak English levels nowadays? However, I passed CET-6 in the first semester of my freshman year."
我聽不懂：“大一上學期！上大學才半年，通過六級，那怎麽可能呢！？”
她認真地回答：“是啊！我沒記錯，我肯定是大一上學期通過的！”
I couldn’t understand: “First semester of freshman year! You’ve only been in university for half a year and passed CET-6. How is that possible!?”
She answered seriously: "Yes! I remember correctly, I must have passed it in the first semester of my freshman year!"
我想象不出來，我這時正愁考不過英語六級呢，沒話說了。
她沒話找話地說：“哎呀！聽你這麽一說，我把小時候的事都想起來了，感覺年輕了好多！”
I couldn't imagine that I was worried about not being able to pass CET-6, and I had nothing to say.
She was speechless and said: "Oh! Listening to what you said, I remembered everything about my childhood, and I feel much younger!"
隨後的談話，我多次找我熟悉擅長的話題，可都在幾句話後落個一無是處。整個初次見麵的過程中，我都像是一個小學生，而她是老師。
In subsequent conversations, I repeatedly looked for topics that I was familiar with and good at, but they all ended up useless after a few sentences. Throughout our first meeting, I felt like a primary school student and she was the teacher.
她問我：“你能找到回去的路不？”我才發現她帶我回到醫大的校門口了，路燈通明，意識到我早就迷失了方向和時間，回答：“能！我們和平房產局離這裏不遠，我對那一帶很熟悉。”
She asked me: "Can you find the way back?" I realized that she had taken me back to the gate of the China Medical University. The streetlights were bright. I realized that I had lost my direction and time, so I replied: "Yes! Our Heping Housekeeping Bureau is not far from here, and I am familiar with that area.”
離開時，我仍然沒有多少身體的感覺，輕飄飄的，看著她笑著揮手和我告別，還挺高興，認為有個這樣的女朋友可真有麵子。
When I left, I still didn't have much physical feeling, and I felt light and airy. Seeing her smiling and waving goodbye to me, I was quite happy. I thought it was honorable to have such a girlfriend.
7.3-7 慚愧 Ashamed
隨後我向幾個同學詢問：大一上學期通過英語六級考試，奇怪嗎？韓華偉，他那時是學生會的組織部長，告訴我：“我是大二下學期通過的英語六級；我們班（尖子班）大部分人是大二下學期通過的。大一我也能通過六級，但分數低。那時候，我想申請獎學金。雖然英語六級不是評審科目，但如果我考了六級，那分數就會被列入評獎學金的參考。我怕分數低，不好看，就沒考。我認為對於醫大的學生來說，大一上學期過六級，應該是很好，但不特殊。”
Then I asked several classmates: Is it strange that a person passed the CET-6 exam in her first semester of freshman year? Han Huawei, who was the organization director of the student union at the time, told me: “I passed CET-6 in the second semester of my sophomore year; most of the people in our class (the top class) passed it in the second semester of sophomore year. I can also do it as a freshman, but my score would be low. At that time, I wanted to apply for a scholarship. Although CET-6 was not an assessment subject, if I passed CET-6, my score would be included in the scholarship evaluation. I was afraid that my score would be low, it doesn’t look. I think it’s good for medical students to pass CET-6 in the first semester of their freshman year, but it’s not special.”
再後來，遇到後文8.7節的那個醫大的女朋友，我們也說到了此事。她說：“那是她們那個班要求的。那個班總考試，不合格就淘汰；淘汰率達到了30： “後來，有的學生受刺激了，家長們把醫大告上了法庭。這個實驗班的教學方法就被終止了，但這個班被保留下來了。這種教學方法就培養出來這麽一個班，各個是真才實學。”
Later, when I met another girlfriend from China Medical University mentioned in Section 8.7 below, we also talked about this matter. She said: "That is what their class requires. If they fail those examinations of that class, they will be eliminated; the elimination rate reached 30%." Later, some students were irritated, and their parents took China Medical University to court. The teaching methods of this experimental class were discontinued, but the class was retained. This teaching method has produced a class where everyone is truly talented and practical."
7.4 劉健君給我的印象 My Impression of Eve Liu
初次見麵後的第二天的中午，黃老師來到我的房間，問我：“那晚你看劉健君怎麽樣？什麽感覺？”
我認為人家肯定看不上我，回答：“沒什麽感覺，就是一次約會。她怎麽說？”
At noon the next day after our first meeting, Teacher Huang came to my room and asked me: "What did you think of Eve Liu that night? What did it feel like?"
I thought she must look down on me, so I replied: "It doesn't feel like anything, it's just a date. What did she say?"
黃老師繼續問：“我是說你對她的容貌感覺怎麽樣？你們就見一次，還能產生強烈的感情！”
我想了想，回答：“我想不起來了，沒看見（注1）。”
Teacher Huang continued to ask: "I mean, how do you feel about her appearance? You only met once, and you still have strong feelings!"
I thought for a while and replied: "I can't remember, I didn't see it (Note 1)."
黃老師生氣了：“你這麽大個人去相親，第一次見麵，不就是看看模樣嗎！你怎麽還不看呢！”
我覺得他說的有道理，對自己很生氣，怎麽什麽也沒看見呢！問他：“劉健君對我感覺怎麽樣？”
Teacher Huang was angry: "You are such an old man going on a blind date. It's your first time to meet, isn't it just to see how she looks! Why don't you look at her!"
I think what he said makes sense, and I am very angry with myself, why I didn’t see anything! Ask him: "How does Eve Liu feel about me?"
黃老師失望地說：“她也和你差不多，沒什麽感覺。這你說！她父母問我，盧岩看我們閨女，感覺怎麽樣？我怎麽回答！下次你們見麵時，你仔細看看她。”
我聽說還有下一次，挺高興。
Teacher Huang said disappointedly: "She is about the same as you, she doesn't feel anything. You tell me! Her parents asked me, how does Luyan feel about our daughter? How do I answer! Next time you meet, take a closer look at her.”
I heard that there will be a next time, which makes me very happy.
注7.4-1，我遇見她時，看見她了，可事後就忘了，對她的外貌和體征沒有記憶。隨後的時日，我努力回想過多次，回憶出來的畫麵支離破碎。仔細辨認，那些都是木頭或石頭形成的像，都不是她；再仔細看，裏麵是各種各樣的無生命的垃圾。這種現象就是上圖墨西哥地表女神卡特莉（約20至38.7歲的玉女，歐洲人亦作維納斯）大腿根部由枯骨組成所表現的。
Note 7.4-1, I saw Eve Liu when I met her, but I forgot about her afterwards and had no memory of her appearance or physical signs. In the days that followed, I tried to recall it many times, but the images I recalled were fragmented. If I look carefully, I will see that those are statues made of wood or stone, and they are not her. If I look more carefully, I will see that there are all kinds of inanimate garbage inside. This phenomenon is shown in the picture 7.4-1 of the Mexican surface goddess Tlalcihuatl (a jade girl aged about 20 to 38.7 years old; Europeans also call it Venus) whose thighs are composed of dry bones.
7.4-2 巴甫洛夫樓 Pavlov Building
第二次見麵是個下午，陽光明媚，約在醫大門口。我去到那裏時，隻有她在那兒筆直地站著，像是個石頭塑像一樣，一動不動。我走過去問她：“你是劉健君吧？”
The second meeting was an afternoon, sunny, at the main entrance of Medical University again. When I got there, she was the only one standing there straight, like a stone statue, motionless. I walked over to her and asked: "You're Eve Liu, right?"
石女人就活了，笑容可掬地回答，“是我”；但她又立刻變得麵無表情，若有所思的。她轉身領我向醫大裏麵走時，我看清了她背影的右側，感覺她是批發市場賣服裝的：中等身材，穿著件緊身牛仔褲，腰間掛著個BP機，褲腳挽著。她的屁股大且豐滿，由此判斷，她身體健壯。
The stone woman came to life and replied with a smile, "It's me"; but she immediately became expressionless and thoughtful again. When she turned to lead me towards the inside of the Medical University, I could see the right side of her back and felt that she was a wholesale market seller of clothing: medium-sized, wearing a piece of tight jeans, with a BP machine hanging from her waist, and her pants pulled up by the legs. Her ass is big and plump, judging from this, she is physically fit.
她像還是對我很生氣，不說話，我跟著她走了很遠。忽然，她指著一棟樓問我：“這棟樓叫巴甫洛夫樓，你知道嗎？這是什麽地方？”
我回答：“你沒說時，我不知道；現在知道了。這牌子上寫著：國際醫學交流中心（注2）。”
She seemed angry with me and didn't say anything as I followed her for a long distance. Suddenly, she pointed to a building and asked me: "This building is called the Pavlov Building. What is this place?"
I replied: "I didn't know when you didn't say, now I do. The sign says: International Medical Exchange Center (Note 2)."
她又問：“你知道巴甫洛夫嗎？”
我愣了一下，支吾地回答：“初中生理衛生書上的，那個發現條件反射的俄國生物學家。”
She asked again: "Do you know Pavlov?"
I froze for a moment and answered in a stuttering voice: "From my junior high physiology and hygiene book, the Russian biologist who discovered conditioned reflexes."
她走進我，說：“對了！對了！我就是這個意思。我想對你說，這樓裏有很多組織或公司都不屬於中國醫科大學。”
我被氣得幾乎蹦了起來，回答，“啊！” 我站著不動，不跟她走了。
She walked in on me and said: "That's right! That's right! That's what I meant. I'm trying to tell you that there are a lot of organizations or companies in this building that aren't part of the CMU."
I was so exasperated that I almost jumped up and replied, "Ah!" I stood still, not following her.
她走去一段距離後，回來了，對我說：“我也發現我今天的表現特別。”
我回答：“醫大裏到處都是樓；你們醫學院有一棟樓以巴甫洛夫命名，並不奇怪！”
She walked away for some distance and came back and said to me: "I also realized that I was special today."
I replied: "There are buildings all over the medical school; it's not surprising that your medical school has a building named after Pavlov!"
她說：“不奇怪！我怎麽想起說這個？你等我想想！”
我說，“算了，別提這事了”，但她堅持要發現原因。過了一會兒，她說：“是這麽回事，我高中的時候，在這樓裏上過一個學習班。我對那個班的感覺很好。我來醫大十來年了，唯獨對這棟樓有感情，所以走到這兒，就隨口問你了。”
She said: "Not surprising! Why did I remember to say that? Wait for me to think about it!"
I said: "Forget it, let's not talk about it," but she insisted on discovering why. After a while, she said, "Here's the thing, when I was in high school, I took a study class in this building. I have a good feeling about that class. I've been coming to the medical university for about ten years now, and this building is the only one I have feelings for, so when I walked here, I just casually asked you."
我問：“你上大學的時候，也在這樓裏上課嗎？”
她回答：“沒有，我隻在高中時在裏麵上過課，也許上大學和研究生的時候在裏麵參加過會議。”
I asked: "Did you take classes in this building when you were in college?"
She replied: "No, I only took classes in it in high school and maybe attended conferences in it when I was in college and graduate school."
我跟著她走到了校門口，她說她要去喂她畢業論文實驗的小白鼠，就走開了。我感覺氣憤：我這麽遠來了，她就領我在校園裏走一圈，可能少於45分鍾。
I followed her to the entrance of the school, where she said she had to go feed the mice for her thesis experiment and walked away. I felt exasperated: I'd come all this way, and she'd just lead me on a walk around campus, probably less than 45 minutes.
注解7.4.2，2014年我寫完回憶錄後，逐漸地明白了。這是劉團長讓她告訴我。巴甫洛夫樓是她的高中所在地，是4.5節報紙新聞中所說的女子組集中培訓的地方，是這個真人醫學實驗的指揮中心，是我的第二出生地。我寫回憶錄時發現巴甫洛夫樓，對我能串聯起此前的那些孤立事件極為重要。《盧岩回憶錄》中的前因後果，和巴甫洛夫狗的條件反射類似，隻是事情複雜了些，時間跨度大了些。
Note 7.4.2, which gradually dawned on me after I wrote my memoirs in 2014. This is what Troupe Leader Liu told her to tell me. The Pavlov Building was the location of her high school, the place where the girl's group was intensively trained as described in the newspaper news in Section 4.5, the command center of this real-life medical experiment, and my second birthplace. The discovery of the Pavlov Building while I was writing my memoirs was extremely important to my being able to connect the dots of the isolated events that preceded it. The antecedents in The Luyan’s Memoirs are like the conditioning of Pavlov's dogs, except that things are a little more complicated and span a little more time.
7.4-3 福 Fortune
她忽然跑回來喊我回去，靦腆地笑著說：“我忘跟你說了，你得學英語，學英語得多聽錄音。以後，我把我學托福、GRE時候的英語磁帶給你找出來（注3）。” 說完，她回去了。
我聽了很高興，但隨後覺得不對勁。我不知道她通過了GRE考試。她讓我學英語，跟她去美國，可我們才剛剛認識。她把我當成別的男朋友了。她有多少個男朋友才會把人弄錯了？得至少五個以上。我可不能和她浪費時間了。
She suddenly ran back and called me back. She smiled shyly and said, "I forgot to tell you. You must learn English. To learn English, you must listen to the recordings. Later, I will find it out and give you the English tapes from when I was learning TOEFL and GRE (note 3).” After that, she went back.
I was happy to hear that, but then I felt something was wrong. I didn't know she passed the GRE. She asked me to learn English and go to the United States with her, but we had just met. She thinks of me as another boyfriend. How many boyfriends does she have to have before she gets the wrong guy? Got to be at least five. I can't waste any more time with her.
注解7.4.3，這她是怎麽回事？後來有一次，黃老師一再追問我和她之間的事，我提到了這件怪事。黃老師聽了，反應強烈：“這是她說的！“ 他站起來就跑了。這是怎麽回事？我寫完回憶錄後，逐漸地分析出了劉團長的用意。黃老師的反應告訴我，劉健君的那個行為是劉團長設計並讓她做給我的，“賜福給我”。
Note 7.4.3, what’s going on with her? Later, Teacher Huang repeatedly asked me about what happened between her and me, and I mentioned this strange incident. Teacher Huang listened and reacted strongly: "That's what she said!" He stood up and ran away. How is this going? After I finished writing my memoirs in 2014, I gradually analyzed Troupe Leader Liu’s intentions. Teacher Huang's reaction told me that Eve Liu's behavior was designed by Troupe Leader Liu and asked her to do it for me, "bless me."
幸福快樂的劉健君是女神，是福；悲傷哭泣的她是殃。我盧岩遇見她就是遇見殃了，因為她瞧不起我，認為有我這樣的男朋友是她的恥辱。我和她生氣吵架就是“冒犯女神”，是在違反自然法，所以我病了。從那時起，我的生活中少有快樂，見到她，想起她就是在遭殃。我寫回憶錄時也是這樣。劉健君給我的印象當中，就這個場麵讓我感到些欣慰。她跑回來的姿態是個不常運動的女孩子形象，有骨頭有肉的；說話時的形象是個戀愛懷春的姑娘。
The happy Eve Liu is a Goddess and a Fortune; she who is sad and crying is a Misfortune. It was a Misfortune for me, Luyan, when I met her, because she looked down on me and thought it was a shame for her to have a boyfriend like me. When I got angry and argued with her, I was "offending the goddess" and violating natural law, so I became sick. From then on, there was little happiness in my life. Seeing her and thinking about her were disasters. The same thing happened when I wrote my memoirs. Among the impressions Eve Liu left on me, this scene made me feel a little relieved. The way she ran back was that of a girl who doesn't exercise often, with bones and flesh; when she spoke, she looked like a girl in love and pregnant with youth.
插圖7.4-3-1是中華文化中的福的標誌，是說人三歲之前的記憶力量強大，是福。圖7.4-3-2是墨西哥文化中福的標誌，那女人是墨西哥之母翠玉女。那個男孩是她和墨西哥的兒子。在傳說中，那孩子就是靈龍，用來表示她是眾生之母。墨西哥國旗上的那隻鷹代表投胎卡特莉，是覺悟之前的翠玉女。
Illustration 7.4-3-1 is a symbol of Fortune in Chinese culture. It means that the memory of a person before the age of three is a powerful Fortune. Figure 7.4-3-2 is the symbol of Fortune in Mexican culture. The woman is Chalchiuhtlicue, the mother of Mexico. In real life, the boy was her and Mexico's son. In the legend, the child is Quetzalcoatl, which is used to indicate that she is the mother of all living beings. The eagle on the Mexican flag represents Tlaltecuhtli, Chalchiuhtlicue before enlightenment.
7.5 超渡 Transcendent Ferry
超渡的目錄 Content of Transcendent Ferry： 7.5.0 序言 Preface；7.5.1 治療恩怨情仇病 Treatment of Illness of Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred；7.5.2 無所得 No Objective Gain；7.5.3 慧傷癡 Gnosis Harms Ignorance；7.5.4 覺悟的特質 Trait of Conscientiousness；7.5.5 給舅舅送終 Sending My Uncle Away；7.5.6 圓滿 Perfect Fulfillment；7.5.7 想去哪兒去哪兒To Think Where to Go is Arriving There； 7.5.8 神通正等明 Connection with Correct Equality Light
7.5.0 序言 Preface
這時，我舅舅是肺癌晚期，還和家裏人打架。我想去和舅舅道別，可又不知道該說些什麽。劉健君的碩士論文是研究肺癌的，我去向她請教。她說，可能在過去，他積累了一些恩怨情仇或者有些事沒做完，要死了，沒時間了，所以煩心和家裏人打架。
At this time, my uncle had terminal lung cancer and was fighting with his family. I wanted to go and say goodbye to my uncle, but I didn't know what to say. Eve Liu’s master's thesis is on lung cancer, so I went to ask her for advice. She said that maybe in the past, he had accumulated some favor grudge love revenge or some unfinished business, and was dying, had no time, so he was annoyed to fight with his family.
我問：“我想去和他告別，該說些什麽？我正犯愁呢！怎麽說？”
她回答：“超渡（如圖7.5）人的那幾句話效果最好。”
I asked: "I want to go and say goodbye to him, what should I say? I'm having a hard time! What to say?"
She replied: "Those few sentences of the Transcendently Ferry (see figure 7.5) work best."
我也聽說過有那麽幾句話，要死的人愛聽，聽了就樂，但很少人知道那幾句話，知道的也不會輕易告訴別人。我問她那幾句話是什麽。她聽了就跑，還笑，說：“我不行！我不知道（注1）！”
I have also heard that there are those few sentences that dying people love to hear and they laugh when hear them. Very few people know those sentences, and those who know them don't tell others easily. I asked her what those sentences are. When Eve Liu heard me, she ran away and laughed, saying: "I can't do it! I don't know (Note 1)!"
我氣憤地嚷：“你跑什麽呀！你覺得那幾句話效果好，那不是你知道一些嗎！”
她說給我講也行，但不能壞了規矩，得先跪下給她磕頭，叫她師傅。
I shouted angrily: "Why are you running away! If you think those few words are effective, you know something about it?"
She said it was okay to tell me, but should not break the traditional rules, I must kneel and kowtow to her first and call her master.
我快被她給氣暈了，血壓一次次地衝擊天蓋骨：我才不給你跪下磕頭呢！
過了一會兒，她說：“我爸常給他的朋友講這事兒。我從小就愛聽，每次都覺得聽懂了，可我爸就說我不明白，不許我跟別人說。”
I almost fainted from my anger, and my blood pressure hit my skull again and again: I'm not going to get down on my knees and kowtow to you!
After a while, she said: "My dad often tells this to his friends. I have loved listening to it since I was a child, and I feel like I understand it every time. But my dad says I don't understand and doesn't allow me to tell others."
我奇怪地問：“你從小就聽，現在都26歲了，研究生快畢業了，怎麽就不懂，不能講呢！？你爸爸對明白的要求高，定義不同。那你爸說什麽是明白？”
I asked curiously: "You have been hearing this since you were a child. Now you are 26 years old and are about to graduate from graduate school. Why don't you understand and can't speak!? Your father has a high standard and a different definition for understanding. So, what does your father mean by understanding?”
她說：“我爸爸說，用你自己的話明白不算明白，用書上的話明白，也不算。你得用對方的話，把對方講得，明白得像是全身透明兒似的，我算你明白。”
She said: "My father said that if you understand it in your own words, it doesn't count. If you understand it in the words of books, it doesn't count. You must use your component’s words and explain it to he or her so that he or she understands it as if he is completely transparent. Then, I count you as understanding."
我又驚訝又迷惑地問：“心理機製學能像數學或機械學那麽精確，達到100%嗎！？”
她回答：“我和你的想法一樣；可我爸說，他能！”
Surprised and perplexed, I asked: "Can psychological mechanics be as precise as math or mechanics, up to 100 percent!"
She replied: "I think like you; but my dad says he can!"
注解7.5-1，佛教律法中有說，五地（參見第16章的道諦）菩薩可以給人講自己證明了的佛法；八地及以上的大菩薩才有資格通講佛法。筆者我小時候在一本佛學雜誌上讀到過，和尚說：“這說法自古就有，我們也讚同。但是八地以上的大菩薩太少了。以至於，我們都有困難舉行佛教儀式，因為佛經說，沒有一位摩訶薩（即佛，俗稱大菩薩、大和尚、大尼姑、大真人）在場，那儀式不是佛教儀式。可我們不講，佛法就變得越來越少了。我們研究決定：‘我們這麽說，我們都是佛的弟子，我們是師兄師姐，你們後來的是師弟師妹，咱們一起研究，共同學習’。”
Note 7.5-1, it is said in Buddhist law that Bodhisattvas in the fifth land (see Chapter 16) can teach people the laws that they have proven; only great Bodhisattvas in the eighth land and above are qualified to preach Buddhism. The author read in a Buddhist magazine when I was a child. The monk said: "This saying has been around since ancient times, and we agree with it. But there are too few great Bodhisattvas above the eighth land. As a result, it is difficult for us to hold Buddhist ceremonies because Buddhist scriptures say that if a Mahasattva (Buddha, commonly known as a great Bodhisattva, a great monk, a great nun, or a great real human) is not present, then the ceremony is not a Buddhist ceremony. But if we don’t talk about it, the law will become less and less for us. After studying and deciding: 'Let's put it this way, we are all disciples of the Buddha, we are senior brothers and sisters, and those who come after are junior brothers and sisters. Let's study and learn together.'"
7.5.1 治療恩怨情仇病 Treatment of Illness of Gratitude Resentment Love and Hatred
劉健君開始給我講超渡這幾句話。她先詢問我舅舅從小到老的個人經曆，像似巫醫和算命先生那樣的問題。一邊問，她一邊指出結症的所在。比如打死過幾隻黃鼠狼（注，有些心理疾病具有地區文化性），文化大革命中他毀掉了許多他舅舅的道教器具和經書。她說這些問題都要解決。
Eve Liu began to give me the words Transcendent Ferry by asking questions about my uncle's personal experiences from childhood to old age, like those of a witch doctor and a fortune teller. As she asked, she pointed out where the knotty problems lay. For example, he had killed a few weasels (note, some mental illnesses are regionally cultural), and he had destroyed many of his uncle's Taoist instruments and scriptures during the Cultural Revolution. She says these issues need to be addressed.
劉健君說：“先解決家庭的財產糾紛，安排他死後財產的歸屬。孩子們都應該表現出順從他的遺願，讓他走得安心。”
我說：“這一點是顯然的，說下一條吧！”
Eve Liu said: "First, you should settle the family's property disputes and arrange for the ownership of his property after his death. The children should all show obedience to his last wishes so that he can go in peace."
I said: "This is obvious, say the next clause!"
她說：“第二條是治療恩怨情仇病（注，即精神病）。得了這種病，不能去醫院看醫生。醫院的精神病科醫生懂不懂精神病是另一個問題；他們真的很忙，忙著掙錢，沒時間給病人看病。”
我被逗笑了：“那怎麽辦？找誰去？”
She said: "The second clause is the treatment of the Illness of Favor Grudge Love and Revenge (note, i.e., mental illness). You can't go to a hospital and see a doctor when you have this disease. Whether or not the psychiatrists in hospitals understand mental illness is another question; they are really busy, too busy earning money to see patients."
I was amused: "What then? Who to go to?"
她說：“得了這種病就得找明白人；或者自己看書，從書上找解決辦法。”
我問：“我怎麽能發現他和誰有仇，在因為什麽鬧心？”
She said: "If you have this kind of disease, you have to find someone who understands it; or you can read books yourself and find solutions from books (note, modern psychology books are also reliable, not psychiatry books)."
I asked: "How can I find out who he has a grudge against and why he is so upset?"
她回答：“我剛才不是在詢問他的個人曆史麽！你到他家後，要注意觀察他家的布置，比如牆上的畫，後院的神龕什麽的；跟親戚朋友嘮嗑時，你就留意於發現問題。你舅舅他自己也會跟你說，因為他對那事鬧心。”
She replied: "Didn't I just ask about his personal history? After you arrive at his home, you should pay attention to the decoration of his home, such as the paintings on the wall, the shrine in the backyard, etc.; when chatting with relatives and friends, you should pay attention to find problems, and your uncle will tell you himself because he is worried about it. "
她繼續說：“恩怨情仇病的病理就是，以前跟恩人、冤家、情人或仇人等發生了諍執，一般還是有些誤會。這人就耿耿於懷；日子久了，諍劫進入了無意識，就成為心理疾病了。治療的辦法就是把恩人、冤家、情人或仇人找來，麵對麵地把矛盾解決了。人不見麵，病治不好（注1）。見麵三分情，很少有不能把矛盾談開的。病人的心結解開了，病就好了。”
She continued: "The pathology of ‘favor grudge love and revenge’ disease is that one has previously had a quarrel obsession with a benefactor, a wrongdoer, a lover, or an enemy, etc., and there is generally still some misunderstanding. This person then holds an obsession; as time passes, the obsession enters the unconscious, and it becomes a mental illness. The way to cure it is to bring the benefactor, the wrongdoer, the lover, or the enemy, and resolve the conflict face to face. If people don't meet, the disease cannot be cured (note 1). Meeting has 30% humanity, there are very few conflicts that cannot be talked out. When the patient's knot is untied, the disease is cured."
我感覺為難了，說：“這不是幾句話的事，這要能言善辯的人說和，從中調解。看來，我學不了這事兒。沒知識，沒經驗，我還不健談。”
I felt difficult and said: "This is not a matter of a few words. It requires eloquent people to make peace and mediate. It seems that I can't learn this. I have no knowledge and experience, and I am not good at talking."
注7.5-1,此中治療心理疾病的原理是佛的六種主要覺悟（即等、正、生、老、病、死, 參見15.1節）中的對病的覺悟（參見10.6 治療心理疾病的原則）。
Note 7.5-1, the principle of treating mental illness (see 10.6 Principles of Curing Mental Illness) is an enlightenment to illness among the six main enlightenments of Buddha. The six enlightenments are equality, correct, birth, aging, illness, and death (see section 15.1).
7.5.1-2 法眼 Juristic Eye
她反駁道：“你錯了！你還真就能辦這事兒。如果你不行，從開始我就不會給你講。我看你行，才說的。”
我迷惑不解：“你什麽時候看我能行？”
She retorted: "You're wrong! You can really do this. If you couldn't, I wouldn't have told you about it from the beginning. I saw that you could, so I said it."
I was confused: "When did you see that I could do it?"
她說：“這事你得這麽看，學辦事與性格有關。就這事，如果沒有合適的性格，有的人學兩、三年也整不好。你有這性格，現在我把道理和辦事步驟給你講清楚。如果你在舅舅家碰上這事，你辦起來就得心應手，能辦成。如果你不行，我也不能給你講啊！那，人家那裏要死人了，我慫恿你過去，打架生氣，什麽正麵作用沒有。那我辦得是什麽事！我有那麽缺德嗎！”
我問：“我有什麽性格？你怎麽知道的？”
She said: "You should look at it this way. Learning how to do affairs is related to personality. As for this matter, if learners don't have the right personality, some people won't be able to learn it for two or three years. You have this personality, now I explain the principles and procedures clearly to you. If you encounter this matter at your uncle's house, you'll be able to handle it easily. If you can't, I wouldn’t explain it to you at the beginning. People are dying there, and I'm encouraging you to go over there to fight and get angry, which has no positive effect. Then what kind of work am I doing! Am I that unethical!"
I asked: "What is my personality? How do you know that?"
她說：“咱倆上次見麵的時候，你和現在就不一樣。當時，你笑嗬嗬的，那樣兒，我都沒認出來你！直到你問我，‘你是劉健君嗎？’我就愣住了，心想：怎麽還換人了呢！談戀愛這事兒還帶換人的！我想了好長時間，才想明白：你是個多重性格的人。就在剛才，你又變了，幸虧我知道了；若不然，可被你嚇著了！截止現在，我看出來你有三個性格，其中一個就能辦這事。”
She said: "The last time we met, you and now are different. At that time, you were smiling, like that, I didn't even recognize you! Until you asked me, 'Are you Eve Liu?' I froze, thinking how come the person is changed! How come the person replaced in the affair of falling in love! I thought about it for a long time before I realized: you are a person with multiple personalities. Just now, you changed again! Fortunately, I knew, otherwise, can be scared by you! As of now, I see that you have three personalities, and one of them can do this."
她給我解釋了好多，還舉例子。我根本聽不懂，處於雲裏霧裏，問：“怎麽能確定，我在我舅舅家的時候，剛好是那種能超渡人的性格？”
She explained a lot to me and gave me examples. I couldn't understand it at all, was confused, so I asked: "How can you be sure that when I was at my uncle's house, I happened to have the kind of personality that can transcendently ferry people?"
她說：“你的性格隨著環境的改變而改變。現在你這性格是溜邊兒、躲躲閃閃。你到你舅舅家，如果碰到這種情況，你就自然而然地變了；你就勇敢起來了，挺身而出。你相信我，這點事兒，我100%不會看錯。這事兒隻要有人牽頭，就能辦成。誰和誰有多大的仇，不能原諒一個將死的人。”
She said: "Your personality changes with your environment. Right now, this personality of yours is to slip around the edges and hide. When you go to your uncle's house, if you come across such a situation, you change naturally; you get brave and stand up for yourself. Believe me, I am 100% not wrong about this. This is something that can be done if someone takes the lead. Anyone who has a grudge against anyone can't forgive someone who's going to die."
注7.5-2，法即軌持。我認為本文劉健君的這種看人神態的能力就是法眼。她的這個能力是從她家的一本書和父母學來的。那本書，俗稱《天書》，是我故鄉的法師（即牧師）和算命先生的通用教材，但隻以師徒相傳的方式傳播，不公開販售，我聽說過很多次，沒見過。根據傳說的描述，我認為那套《天書》實際就是古典心理學，書中以金童玉女為基本模型（如圖7.5.1-2；參見10.9《三位一體》）。
Note 7.5-2, Law means track holding. I think this Eve Liu’s ability to see people's Godly (i.e. unconsciously) demeanor in this article is Juristic Eye. She learned this ability from a book in her home and from her parents. That book, commonly known as the Sky Book, is the universal textbook of the Juristic Teachers (i.e. priests) and fortune-tellers in my homeland, but it is only disseminated in the form of masters and disciples and is not openly peddled; I have heard of it many times, but I have never seen it. Based on the description of the legends, I believe that that Sky Book is classical psychology, with the Gold Boy and Jade Girl as the basic model for the book (see Fig. 7.5.1-2; cf. 10.9 Godly Trinity).
7.5.2 無所得 No Objective Gain
劉健君問我：“你對人一生能得到些什麽，怎麽看？”
我回答：“人死如燈滅，也沒有能得的主體呀！不過人過留名，雁過留聲！”
Eve Liu asked me: "What do you think about what people can get in life?"
I replied: "People die like lights out, and there is no subject that is capable to gain! But people leave their names behind, and geese leave their sounds!"
劉健君回答：“我也是這麽認為的。世事無常，人死如燈滅，這第三條就講人生無所得，萬法皆空，無罪無福（注1）。我爸說，要死的人就愛聽這句話，聽了就樂。如果你和快要死了的人告別，隻有機會說一句話，就說這句。無所得的解脫力非常大，是出世間智。這一條就圍繞無所得來說。”
Eve Liu replied: "I also think so. Things are impermanent and people die like a lamp going out, this clause talks about life without gain, all laws are empty, and there is no sin or fortune (Note 1). My dad said that the liberating power of gainless is very great, and it is wisdom of transcending mundaneness. People who are dying love to hear this and are happy to hear it. If you're saying goodbye to someone who's dying and only have a chance to say one sentence, say this. This clause revolves around no gain."
注7.5.2-1，日常人的每一個行為都會產生業習氣，因此有罪和福的業報（即報應）。讀者當知，本文的談話對象是個將死之人。死人無受，故 “無罪無福”。但，人的生命分為智慧生命和身命（即形體壽命）兩部分。智慧生命如發明創造，所撰寫的書籍，名聲等；形體命終後，智慧生命還會生存多年，甚至千年。形體會腐朽，化成泥土和青煙，不會變得什麽都沒有。
Note 7.5.2-1, every behavior of ordinary people will produce habitual karma, so there will be sinful and fortunate karmic recompenses (i.e. retribution). The reader should be aware that the person in this article is talking to a dying person. The dead have no acceptance, so "no sin, no fortune”. However, human life can be divided into two parts: intellectual life and physical life. Intelligent life such as inventions, books written, reputation, etc.; after the death of the physical body, intelligent life will survive for many years, even thousands of years. The flesh body will decay and turn into soil and smoke, but it will not become nothing.
佛經中有這樣的說法。一、般若無所得，二、波羅蜜無所得，三、菩薩無所得，四、摩訶薩無所得。般若無所得，以實性無性故。轉換成現代漢語：一、智慧無所得，二、到彼岸無所取，三、真人沒得到什麽，四、大真人（或佛，或上帝）也什麽都沒得到。智慧什麽都沒得到的原因是實性無。
There is this saying in the Buddhist scriptures. 1. Prajna (i.e. gnosis) has nothing to gain, 2. Paramita (i.e. arriving at another shore, Arrival Ark, Noah’s Ark) has nothing to gain, 3. Bodhisattva (i.e. real human) gain nothing, and 4. Mahasattva (i.e. Buddha, God, and Goddess) has gained nothing. Intelligence and Gnosis have gained nothing because there is no factual nature.
7.5.2-2 慧眼 Gnostic Eye
劉健君問我：“他們說，人死的時候，想去哪兒去哪兒，你是怎麽看的？”
我回答：“那是人已經沒呼吸了，還有思想活動，進入了幻覺狀態。他想像中的像就是幻境的境，想去哪兒的想立刻取來了目標地的像；幻境立刻變成了目標地的環境，他就已經到達了想去的地方。”
Eve Liu asked me: "They say that when people die, they can go wherever they want. What do you think?"
I replied: "That is because the person has no breathing, still has thought activities, and has entered a state of hallucination. The image in his imagination is the hallucinational environment. When he wants to go somewhere, his Think immediately fetches the image of the destination; the hallucinational state immediately changes into the destinate environment becomes the destination, therefore he has been instantly translocated to where he wants to go.”
劉健君想了一會兒，說：“我從小就聽我爸講，可我以前就沒像你說的這麽想。我認為你說得對；我以前想錯了。”
我說：“我聽說這幾句超渡的話很特別，有些人說不出口，必須按照書上寫的說，差一個字也不行。你爸爸是怎麽說的？”
Eve Liu thought for a while and said: "I have listened to my dad since I was a child, but I never thought like you said before. I think you are right; I thought wrong before."
I said: "I heard that these few sentences of Transcendently Ferry are very special. Some people cannot open their mouth to say them. People must say them according to what is written in the book, without mistaking a single word. What did your father say?"
她說：“我爸說，不能用書上的話，不能用你自己的話，你要用對方的話給對方講明白。但是，我懂你的意思，我想想我爸是怎麽說的，給你找幾個話題。” 她走到了一邊去想，不說話了。
She said: "My dad said, you can't use the words in the book, you can't use your own words. You must use the opponent’s words to explain it clearly to he or her. But I understand what you mean. I want to think about what my dad said and find several topics for you." She walked aside to think about it and stopped talking.
我等得著急，就幾次過去提醒她，換了幾種說法：“這事要從外界都是內心的投影考慮。比如在這裏，就在這兒，依心，即這棵樹，為中心，來投射外界（環境1）。” 我一邊說，一邊對她做著肢體的表示。“你向外看。忽然，你看見了那座雕像，心想：那是什麽？”我拉她來到了雕像旁，說：“就與此同時，大腦把那座雕像放大了，新的世界相應地生成了（環境2）。你忽略我們來到這裏的過程，幻覺世界裏，這過程是一刹那就完成的。我們從以那棵樹為中心的世界（環境1）來到了以這個雕像為中心的世界（環境2）；這就是幻覺世界裏的瞬間變化：想去哪兒去哪兒（即瞬間轉移，亦作天腿通，如圖15.2.2-38）。”
I was waiting impatiently, so I went over to remind her several times and changed my words: "This matter must be considered from the outside world as a projection of the heart. For example, right here, with the heart, that is, this tree, as the center, to project the outside world (Environment 1)." I said while making physical gestures to her. "You looked outside. Suddenly, you saw the statue and thought: What is that?" I pulled her to the statue and said: "At the same time, the brain magnified the statue, and the new world (Environment 2) is generated accordingly. You ignore the process of us getting here. In the world of hallucination, this process is completed in an instant, from the world centered on the tree (Environment 1) to the world centered on this statue (Environment 2). It is an instantaneous change in the world of hallucination: you can go wherever you want (i.e. instant transfer, teleportation, see fig. 7.5.2.2-38)."
她忽然說：“我想起來啦！我不說看見你就想起了我爸爸麽！已經兩三次了。我終於發現你麽倆哪裏相像了。在講這個的時候，我爸爸就像你似的，老是從不同的角度說，還舉不同的例子，一邊說，還一邊比畫。在這方麵，你們倆一樣一樣的。”
She suddenly said: "I remembered! Didn't I think of my dad when I saw you? It has been two or three times. I finally found out how similar you two are. When talking about this, my dad is just like you, always speaking from different angles, giving different examples, and showing pictures at the same time. In this regard, you two are the same."
注7.5.2.2-1，天眼是如圖7.5.2.2-1至8的經曆。作者我小時候練過氣功（參見第12章《禪》），經曆過，所以我能思考幻覺世界裏的現象如天腿通（圖38），他心通（圖37），天耳通等。這種知識，佛教中稱作慧，亦作慧眼。慧眼是個心眼兒，從喻得名。劉健君沒有足夠的幻覺經曆，慧根（天眼）有缺失，所以她不能思考幻覺世界裏的事。另外，人的語言形成之前必須有完備的思想環境，劉健君的思想取不到現象，頭腦中不能形成幻覺環境，所以她不能開口說話（見下文），來談論幻境。
Note 7.5.2.2-1, Celestial Eye is the experience shown in Figures 7.5.2.2-1 to 8. The author, I practiced meditation (see Chapter 12 "Meditation") and experienced it when I was a child, so I can think about phenomena in the hallucinational world, such as Celestial Leg (Figure 38), Reading Other Heart (Picture 37), Celestial Ear, etc. This kind of knowledge is called Gnosis in Buddhism, also known as the Gnostic Eye. Gnostic Eye is a “heart eye”, gets its name from the metaphor. Eve Liu did not have enough hallucinational experience so her gnostic root (Celestial Eye) was deficient, so she could not think about affairs in the hallucination world. In addition, there must be a complete inner mental environment before the formation of human language. Eve Liu's mind cannot obtain hallucinational phenomena, so the hallucination environment cannot be formed in her mind, so she cannot speak (see below) to talk about phenomena of hallucinations.
7.5.2-3 劉健君不能說Eve Liu can't Say.
我回答：“你想什麽呢！我又沒見過你爸爸，我的行為怎麽可能像他呢！”
劉健君說：“我知道你們倆沒見過，我就說你們倆的動作、表情和說話的方式相像。好了，現在我來想他說過什麽！” 忽然，她轉身跑了。
I replied: "What are you thinking! I've never met your father; how could I behave like him!"
Eve Liu said: "I know you two have never met, so I just said that your movements, expressions and ways of speaking are similar. Okay, now let me think about what he said!" Suddenly, she turned and ran away.
我追過去，發現她害怕我，怕得快要哭了。我站在遠處，問：“怎麽了？你怕什麽？”
她說：“以前我聽我爸講，就感覺奇怪，說得跟真的似的。我才明白，你們倆都去過那兒！”
I chased after her, found that she was afraid of me, was about to cry. I stood far away and asked: "What's wrong? What are you afraid of?"
She said: "When I heard my dad tell it before, I thought it was strange, and it sounded like it is true. Then I realized that you both have been there!"
我反應過來了，說：“我們不是在談幻覺嗎？就算是去過那兒（死亡的世界），又回來了，不就沒死麽！”
她回來後說：“剛才，我又想錯了！現在我告訴你我爸爸是怎麽說的。”
I came to my senses and said: "Aren't we talking about hallucinations? Even if I have been the world of death and came back, I am not dead!"
When she came back, she said: "Just now, I thought wrong again! Now I will tell you what my father said."
我認真地聽，可我聽不見她說話。我靠近她，看著她的嘴在動，可我聽不見。我探身，耳朵湊到了她的嘴邊，還是聽不見。我著急地說：“你等會兒說，我的耳朵突然出毛病了，聽不見聲音了。我開始在一邊測試我自己的聽力。
她說：“我沒出聲，你怎麽能聽得見！”
I listened carefully, but I couldn't hear her. I got close to her and watched her mouth move, but I couldn't hear it. I leaned forward and put my ear to her mouth but still couldn't hear. I said anxiously: "You will tell me later, something suddenly happened to my ears, and I couldn't hear the sound.” I started to test my own hearing on the side.
She said: "I didn't make a sound; how could you hear me!"
我發現我聽到了，反應過來後，氣得蹦起來了，喊道：“不說話，你動嘴幹什麽！啊！你在戲弄我，這一點兒都不好笑！”
她說：“我知道這不好笑，也沒逗你玩。我想說，可我想不起來怎麽說。”
I realized that I heard it, and when I reacted, I jumped up in anger and shouted: "If you don't speak, why are you moving your lips? Ah! You are teasing me; this is not funny at all!"
She said: "I know it's not funny, and I'm not kidding you. I want to say it, but I can't remember how to say it."
我說：“你從小就聽你爸爸給別人講，到現在，至少聽了上百回了，怎麽可能，連一句也沒記住？”
她回答：“是呀！我也感覺奇怪！這是怎麽了？我怎麽不能說話了呢！誒呀！你整我！”
I said: "You have listened to your father telling others since you were a child. You have listened to it at least hundreds of times now. How is it possible that you haven't remembered even a single sentence?"
She replied: "Yes! I feel strange too! What's going on? Why can't I speak! Hey! You are trying to pinch me!"
我沒聽懂。
劉健君又說，“那我為什麽說不出來呢（參見前麵的注解）！？”
I did not understand.
Eve Liu added: "Then why can't I say it (see previous note)!?"
7.5.3 慧傷癡 Gnosis Harms Ignorance
我回答：“我剛剛認識你，整你幹什麽！再說，我哪裏有那樣的本事，能讓你說不出話來！”
劉健君叨咕：“我也感覺奇怪，剛剛認識，你怎麽老是整我呢！你是沒能力讓我說不出話來。這一條，我認為你說得對。你懂這個，在給你舅舅講的時候，你就按順序，係統地說。他經曆過的，聽了就明白了。沒經曆過的，他知道了，以後遇見不害怕。”
I replied: "I just met you, why am I trying to pinch you! Besides, I don't have the ability to make you speechless!"
Eve Liu muttered: "I feel strange too. We just met, why do you keep pinching me! Indeed! You don't have the ability to make me speechless. I think you are right about this clause. You understand this when you talk to your uncle you explain it in systematically sequence. He will understand what he has experienced, to those he has not experienced, he will not be afraid when he encounters it in the future. "
可我瞪著眼睛，不知道這條該說什麽，該如何給我舅舅講。
她說：“現在我幫你把咱倆討論過的這幾條內容整理一下。”講完後，讓我給她講。
劉健君聽了我講超渡這幾句話後，非常生氣，說：“你整我！怎麽你講的比我講的好呢？還一套一套的，你知道還問我幹什麽！”
But I stared, not knowing what to say or how to tell my uncle.
She said: "Now I'm going to help you organize these items we've discussed." After speaking, she asked me to lecture her.
When Eve Liu heard me speak these clauses of the Transcendental Ferry, she was very angry and said: "You're pinching me! How is it that you speak better than I do? It's also many sets of words, why do you ask me if you know!"
我回答：“我不知道！我以前在一本雜誌上看過大般若經的序言，我不懂，覺著如果背下來，將來能懂，我就有了些優點。即便弄不懂，這幾句文采飛揚，我也可以用它乍現異相、嘩眾取寵，說一些誰也聽不懂的話來標新立異。”
I replied: "I don't know it before! I read the preface of the Maha Paramita Sutra (i.e. Greater Ark Sutra) in a magazine. I didn't understand it and thought that if I memorized it and could understand it in the future, I would have some merit. Even if I can't figure it out, these lines are so literate that I can use them manifest strange, to clamor for attention, to say something that no one can understand to make a new point."
她聽了後，對我大加讚賞：“你這想法真好！”可一轉身，她被氣得哭了。我問她又怎麽了？她說：“我從小就認為我懂這個，是我的長處之一，可我爸爸總說我不懂。現在，連你都明白了，我還是不懂！我是怎麽回事！？”
When she heard this, she praised me: "That's a great idea!" But when she turned around, she was so exasperated that she cried. I asked her what was wrong again. She said: "I grew up thinking I understood this, that it was one of my strengths, but my dad always said I didn't understand. Now, even you understand it, and I still don't! What's wrong with me!?"
我聽了後，被氣得發暈：怎麽我懂了這點兒事，就把你侮辱哭了！你從骨頭裏往外瞧不起我！為什麽還要和我談戀愛！？不談了！我轉身就走。走出去一段距離後，我又想：就這樣離開了，也太沒禮貌了！就又走回來了。
When I heard this, I was furious: how is it that I insulted you to tears by understanding this little affair! You despise me from your bones! Why do you still want to fall in love with me! I don't want to talk about it! I turned around and walked away. After walking out for some distance, I thought it's too rude to leave like this! So, I walked back.
7.5.3-2
劉健君問我：“你以前真不明白這幾句話？”
我回答：“我上哪裏去知道，我還沒結婚呢！”
Eve Liu asked me: "You really didn't understand these words before?"
I replied: "Where would I know, I'm not married!"
她叨咕：“這事和結沒結婚有什麽關係！我也沒結婚呢！” 她一轉身，笑了，問：“為什麽沒結婚就不能知道這幾句話？”
我靦腆地說：“這是農村人的說法。”
She muttered: "What does this have to do with being married or not! I'm not married either!" She turned around, laughed, and asked: "Why can't you know these words if you're not married?"
I said coyly, "It's a rural saying."
她立刻說：“我上高中的時候，就聽說過，許多民間老說法的背後有我們不知道的原因。大學的時候，就有這個實習項目，調查民間的說法，我就參加了。我們相信這個，你想一想，為什麽你剛才那麽說？我想聽。”
She immediately said: "When I was in high school, I heard that there are reasons behind many of the old folk sayings that we don't know. When I was in college, there was this internship program to investigate folk sayings, and I took it. We believe in this, so think about it, why did you just say that? I want to hear it."
我說：“小時候，我們村子裏有人作法事。那個被作法的人死前想見見我父母。法師就派助理來找我父母，對我媽說：我先給你講講給人送終要說的幾句話；這幾句話不讓小孩兒聽，因為慧能害癡。我媽說：不癡，還不好？！ 那個法師助理說：老輩子們說，太癡了不好，但沒癡也不好。不癡情對談戀愛和婚後生活都有不好的影響。”
I said: "When I was a kid, someone in our village performed a ‘Juristic Affair’. The man who had been amended wanted to meet my parents before he died. The Juristic Teacher then sent his assistant to my parents and said to my mom: ‘I'll first tell you the few sentences of Transcendental Ferry. These words are not to be listened to by children because gnosis harms ignorance. My mom said, ‘isn’t that good to not be ignorant?’ That juristic assistant said, ‘The old lifers say that it's neither good to be too non-ignorant nor good to be very ignorant. Non-ignorant has a bad effect on falling in love and on married life."
劉健君聽了之後不笑了，想了一會兒後說：“是有這說法。我剛去醫院實習的時候，聽說他們也給病人講這個，我就好奇，想知道他們講的和我爸爸講的一樣不，就問。老大夫說：你們年輕人，可不能學這個！你再想一想，你還聽見什麽了？”
Eve Liu stopped laughing after hearing this and said after thinking for a while: "There is this saying. When I first went to the hospital for my internship, I heard that they also told this to the patients, I was curious to know if what they told was the same as what my father told, so I asked. The old doctor said, ‘You young people, should not learn this! Think again, what else did you hear?’"
7.5.3-3
我說：“他們去了，我就跟去了。到那家不遠處，有護法在外麵看守著，不讓進。有幾個人跟那個年輕的護法嘮嗑。護法說，師傅們都不教我們，也不給我們看那套書。師傅們說，‘什麽天書、地書的，那就是一套書。我們沒人在意誰泄露秘密。等到你們四十歲的時候，肯定給你們每人一套。現在不教你們是為你們好。你們現在什麽也不知道，那找對象成功了就是瞎貓碰上死耗子了。實際上找對象，瞎貓碰死耗子這個辦法最好。你們這些瞎貓出去一溜達，準能撞上死耗子。’”
I said: "They went, and I followed. When I got not far from that house, there were ‘Juristic Defenders’ (i.e. guardians) outside watching and not letting in. A few people were chattering with the young Juristic Defender (i.e. Juristic Teacher’s assistants or disciples). The young man said, ‘The masters don't teach us, and they don't show us the book. The masters said, ‘What is the Sky Book, the Book of Death and Life? It is just a set of books, and no one cares who reveals the secrets; when you are forty years old, we will surely give each of you a set of the books. It is for your own good that we do not teach you now. If you don't know anything now, then you succeed in finding a spouse, it would be like a blind cat bumping into a dead rat. In fact, this is the best way to find a spouse. When you blind cats go out, you're bound to run into a dead rat.”
“如果教你們，還讓你們看書，你們就把慧眼（參見7.5.2節）、法眼（參見7.5.1節）都睜開了。你們有了他心通（一種古代的心理分析法；慧眼包括他心通），專看人家的陰暗麵。人有黑暗的經曆不見得就是壞人，你們卻認為人家怪。你們看這個邪，那個歪，時間長了，你們自己就長歪了，變成了怪人。慧傷癡，不癡情，你們談戀愛不專心，今天跟這個談，明天跟那個談，招三慕四的，到頭來，哪個也不成，把自己耽誤了。”
"If we teach you and let you read the books, your Gnostic Eye (see section 7.5.2) and Juristic Eye (see section 7.5.1) will open. When you have “Reading Others Mind Through” (an ancient method of psychoanalysis; the Gnostic Eye includes “Reading Others Mind Through”), and you specialize in looking at people's dark sides. People who have dark experiences are not necessarily bad people, but you think that they are strange. You see this as evil, that as crooked, and over time, you yourselves grow crooked and become weird. Gnosis hurts ignorance. No ignorance, you are not focused on love, today with this talk, tomorrow with that talk, recruiting three, four, in the end, which will not be able to, to delay your own.”
“等你們把法眼睜開了，你們就該分析自己性格和對象的匹配了，用條條去套，用框框去選。那找對象，三、二年才能遇到一個符合條件的；再用你們那法眼一看，這個有魔障、那個有業障，都是妖魔鬼怪的，想找個人都難，那你們的對象還咋找！”
劉健君說：“我聽這說法挺有道理的！”
I continued: "When your juristic eye open, you would analyze the match between your personality and the spouse and use the bars to set and the boxes to choose. Then looking for a spouse, three or two years to meet a qualified. Then with your juristic eyes, this has a demonic hindrance, that has karmic hindrance, are all demons and monsters, want to find a human is difficult, that your spouse how to find!"
Eve Liu said: "I hear this argument is quite reasonable!"
7.5.4 覺悟的特質 Trait of Conscientiousness
我早就聽說過，《天書》既能救人也會害人，所以有那本書的人都把書藏起來，不給別人看，就問：“你爸爸給別人講這個的時候，就沒背著你？”
她說：“那時候我還小，他們說話我在旁邊聽，也沒人太在意我，後來就習慣了。”
I had heard long ago that the Sky Book could save as well as harm people, so those who had that book hid it from others, so I asked: "When your father told this to others, he didn't carry it behind your back?"
She said: "I was little then, I listened next to them as they talked, no one cared too much about me, then I got used to it."
我問：“我聽說，有那套書（天書）的人會把書裏三層外三層地包裹起來，再鎖在箱子裏，別人誰看都不行。你爸爸就沒把那書藏起來？”
她想了一會兒，說：“也看不出他藏沒藏。那時候我才十三、四歲。一天，他們倆不在家，不知怎麽地我就瞄著我爸爸總看的那本書了，就拿出來看了。他們倆回來看我在看，是很生氣，但我以為他們是怕我把書弄壞了。”
I asked: "I've heard that people who have that set of books will wrap the book in three layers and lock it in a box, so that no one else can look at it. Didn't your dad hide that book?"
She thought for a while and said: "And I can't tell if he hid it or not. I was only thirteen or fourteen at the time. One day, when the two of them were not at home, I somehow caught sight of the book that my father always read and took it out to read it. When they both came back and saw me reading it, they were angry, but I thought they were afraid I would break the book."
我問：“你爸沒把那書藏起來？”
她想了一會兒說：“也看不出我爸爸藏沒藏。我爸爸跟一般人不一樣。”
我問：“不一樣？有什麽不同？”
I asked: "Your dad didn't hide that book?"
She thought for a moment and said: "I can't tell if my dad hid it or not. My dad is different from ordinary people."
I asked: "Different? What's different?"
劉健君說：“我舉例子說。他晚上躺在床上看書。該睡覺了，他不把書一扔，或者放在褥子底下。他先坐起來，穿好鞋。站起來之後，他先踢踢鞋，把鞋穿舒服嘍，再扣好衣服扣，挺挺身，把書拿起來，擺在書架裏，擺正。從左邊調調線，再從右邊看看，確定把書擺正了，他再轉身，坐在床上，脫衣服，脫鞋，上床。”
Eve Liu said: "Let me give you an example. He lies in bed at night reading a book. When it's time to go to sleep, he doesn't throw the book away or put it under the mattress. He first sits up and puts on his shoes. When he stands up, he kicks his shoes and makes them comfortable, then he buttons his shirt, stands up, picks up the book, puts it in the bookshelf, and arranges it correctly. Adjusting the line from the left, then from the right, to make sure the book is in the right place, he turns around, sits on the bed, undresses, takes off his shoes, and gets into bed."
我聽了感覺稀罕：“啥事都這樣兒？”
她說：“我爸爸做什麽事都這樣兒，總是先造個計劃，然後依計行事。我再給你舉個例子，他即便是晚上出去溜達，也要先計劃好，他就先站在那兒想：能下雨不，帶不帶傘；帶水，帶多少水；走到哪兒休息；喝水，喝多少。他看看瓶子，水帶多了，那絕對不可以，就去把多餘的水倒掉。”
I heard her say: "Is that how everything works?"
She said: "My father does everything like this. He always plans first and then acts according to it. Let me give you another example, even if he goes out for a walk at evening, he has to plan first, he just stands there and thinks can it rain, with or without an umbrella; bring water, how much water to bring; where to rest; drink water, how much to drink. He looks at the bottle and brings too much water, that's absolutely not allowed, and goes to pour out the excess water."
我聽了，感覺新奇：“還有這樣的人！那你從小就受熏染，一定很有規矩，也是很利索！”
劉健君驕傲地說：“我小時候很利索，什麽都有個樣兒！” 她又變得羞愧地說：“上大學住宿舍，我看別人躺在床上看書，看完了，把書一扔就睡覺；我就變得邋遢了。”
When I heard this, I felt new: "There are such people! Then you have been inculcated since childhood, you must be very disciplined and neat!"
Eve Liu proudly said: "I was very neat as a child; everything has a style!" She then became ashamed and said, "When I went to college and lived in the dormitory, I watched other people lying on the bed reading books, and when they were finished, they threw the books away and went to sleep; I became sloppy."
隨後，她在一邊來回地走，說：“你整我！我看見你在笑話我！”
我回答：“我沒笑話你。我沒發現你有什麽好笑話的。”
She then walked back and forth, saying, "You pinched me out! I saw you laughing at me!"
I replied: "I wasn't laughing at you. I don't see what you have to laugh about."
她生氣地說：“我也沒發現你笑話我什麽，但我幾次看見你在笑話我，弄得我毛毛的！我長這麽大，頭一次丟這麽大的臉！”
我生氣地回答：“今天是我丟盡了臉，怎麽你也丟臉了呢！”
She said angrily: "I don't see what you're laughing at either, but I've seen you laughing at me a couple times and it's getting on my nerves! It's the first time in my life I've ever been so embarrassed!"
I replied angrily: "I'm the one who lost all the face today, how come you lost face too!"
7.5.5 給舅舅送終 Fairwell to Uncle
我坐在舅舅對麵的凳子上跟舅舅嘮；沒聊幾句，我就感覺非常困倦，努力地睜開眼睛，雙手支撐著凳子，疲憊不堪地坐直了。一會兒後，我出了一身汗，又精神起來了。從舅舅家裏出來，老姨問我：“你和你舅舅說了些什麽？還有說有笑的，當時我沒注意。”這時，我知道我是來給舅舅送終的，講那幾句話的，但忘了那幾句話是什麽了，已經把我們的談話內容全部忘了（注1）。
I sat on the stool opposite my uncle and chatted. After a few words, I felt very sleepy. I tried to open my eyes, supported the stool with both hands, and sat upright exhausted. After a while, I broke out in a sweat and became energetic again. When I came out of my uncle's house, my aunt asked me: "What did you and your uncle talk about? You were joking and laughing, but I didn't pay attention at the time." At this time, I knew that I was there to transcendently ferry my uncle, but I forgot what those sentences are, and I have completely forgotten the content of our conversation (Note 1).
注7.5.5-1，現在想來，正如前文劉健君所說（參見7.5.1-2《法眼》），我是個多重性格的人，性格隨著環境的不同而變化。在性格改變時我很疲憊，性格之間記憶不相通或單向相通。現代心理學認為多重性格人處在不同性格時有不同的智商水平，不同的行為習慣，麵目表情，和不一樣的言辭。這讓我聯想起了薩滿教（即沙門教）中跳大神的事，巫師像似神靈附體。筆者我認為，巫師神靈附體的怪異表現，其本質即是性格的變化。那如果巫師的性格沒變，他（或她）就不能施法嗎？就常有巫師跳唱了幾天，神靈不來附體的現象，結果法事不能如期進行。
Note 7.5.5-1, now that I think about it, as Eve Liu Jianjun said earlier (see 7.5.1-2 "Juristic Eye"), I am a person with multiple personalities, and my personality changes with different environments. I was very tired when my personality was changing, and the memories between personalities were not connected or connected in one direction. Modern psychology believes that people with multiple personalities have different IQ levels, different behavioral habits, facial expressions, and different oral capability when they have different personalities. This reminds me of the God Dance in shamanism, where the shaman seems to be possessed by a god. Author me believes that the essence of the weird manifestations of Sharman possession by spirits is the change of personality. So, if the Sharman's personality doesn't change, can't he (or she) cast spells? It is common for Shamans to dance and sing for a few days without the spirit coming to possess them. As a result, rituals cannot be carried out as scheduled.
7.5.5-2
兩年後，一次媽媽從老姨家回來後，問我：“人麽說，你舅舅死前一個多月，你跟他嘮過。從你和他談話後，他就變了。他變好了，好得不得了！你二嫂子都不敢自己在家呆著了，跟人說，‘自從他那個沈陽的侄子來了，跟他說了一會兒話，某老公公就變了，啥事都有說有笑有商量；沒人時，他還總跟自己說話，比比畫畫的，還偷著樂！他是不是瘋啦！？”
Two years later, once my mom came back from my aunt's house, she asked me, "People say that you talked to your uncle a month or so before he died. After you talked to him, he changed. He's changed for the better, too good to be true! Your second sister-in-law didn't dare to stay at home by herself, telling people, 'Since that nephew of his from Shenyang came and talked to him for a while, the old man has changed, and he talks and laughs and discusses everything; and when no one is around, he is always talking to himself, comparing drawings and painting, and stealing smiles.' Is he crazy?"
媽媽說：“南北屯兒的人，好多人去看你舅舅！看了都驚訝，糊塗了！他咋變成那樣了呢！你舅舅見誰跟誰說，‘沒想到，我得我二外甥（即盧岩）的記了（注2）！人們說，‘不懂！不過即便是瘋了，瘋成那樣兒也是福氣呀！自己高興就行唄！’”
Mom said, "A lot of people from North and South Tuner went to see your uncle! They were all surprised and confused! How could he have become like that! Your uncle said to everyone he met, 'I didn't think I'd get my second nephew's (i.e., author mine) Gain Remembrance (Note 2).' People said, 'I don't understand! But even if he is crazy, it's a fortune to be crazy like that! If he is happy.'"
隨後，媽媽說：“他們說你知道那幾句給人送終的話。提起這事兒來，你老姨就哭了，說，‘小盧岩知道，我問他，他不告訴我！我就想：人家說會說那幾句話的人，那才能說呢！我學會了，也算有個長處！’看你老姨以後還搭理你不！”
Then Mom said, "They say you know the words sending dying people away.
When we mentioned this, your aunt cried and said, 'Little Luyan knows, but when I asked him, he wouldn't tell me.' I thought to myself, ‘people say that only those who know how to say those words are capable talkers! If I've learned it, and it would be one my advantages! ' Let's see if your aunt will still take care of you in the future!"
我回答：“是有那麽回事，那幾句話，我是真的忘了！”
“是什麽？我也想學學。” 那時，我回憶不出來；直到2014年，我寫回憶錄時，才想起來我給舅舅送終時的談話內容。
I replied: "That's what happened. I really forgot those few words!"
"What is it? I want to learn too." At that time, I couldn't recall it; it wasn't until 2014, when I was writing my memoirs, that I remembered the content of the conversation I gave my uncle when he died.
注7.5.5-2，什麽是授記？什麽是得記？超渡的過程中，有對被超度人的人生評價。我評價他為 “入流果聖人” （參見7.5.8-3）。這個評價要客觀、真實，如果被超渡的人自己都對這個評價不信服，那這超渡就廢了。我是按照當時中國流行的 “入流果 （15.2.4《四沙門果》）”的標準逐條跟他解釋的。那時，盧岩在他的眼中，還是個孩子，他怎麽就信了呢？
Note 7.5.5-2, What is Bestowing Remembrance? What is the Gain Remembrance? In the process of transcendent ferry, there is an evaluation of the life of the person being transcended. I evaluate him as a "stream-entering sage" (see 7.5.8-3). This evaluation must be objective and true. If the person being transcended is not convinced by the evaluation, then the transition will be useless. I explained it to him one by one according to the standard of "stream-entering fruit (15.2.4 "Four Shamanic Fruit") which was popular in China at that time. At that time, Luyan was still a child in his eyes, so how did he come to believe in it?
劉健君給我講超渡的時候考慮到了這個問題說：“你跟你舅舅都七、八年沒見麵了，你在他的心裏還是個孩子，這不行！你的說你是從哪個權威人氏那兒聽來的。”我就跟我舅舅實話實說了：“我去向醫大的一個研究生同學請教了，新學來的。”我舅舅一聽就信了，還說：“沈陽市老城，有幾個活佛不奇怪！還就你的那個同學那種人厲害，從小，家大人跟人談論這事，她進進出出聽著一句半句的，熏出來的。其它的，學校出來的，師傅帶徒弟帶出來的，和自學成才的，都不如這種熏出來的。”
Eve Liu took this issue into consideration when he told me about transcendent ferry and said: "You and your uncle haven't seen each other for seven or eight years. You are still a child in his heart. This is not okay! You should say which authority did you hear from." I told my uncle the truth: "I went to ask a graduate student at the China Medical University for advice. I just learned it." My uncle believed it as soon as he heard it and said: "It's not surprising that there are a few living Buddhas in the old city of Shenyang! Only your classmate, the kind of person is amazing. But also, on your classmate kind of people powerful, since childhood, the family adults talk to people about this, she went in and out to listen to a sentence and a half, smoked out. Other, school out, master with apprentice out, and self-taught, are not as good as this smoked out."
7.5.6 圓滿 Perfect Fulfillment
下麵是根據我給舅舅送終時的談話，整理出來的三個話題。
舅舅說：“這一條，我聽明白了！無所得，看著不起眼兒，道理卻很深，很有用。你說下一條吧！”
Here are three topics based on conversations I had when I was transcendently ferrying my uncle.
My uncle said: "This one, I understand now! No gain, looks insignificant, but the truth is deep and useful. You say the next clause!"
我對舅舅說：“這條講圓滿，我先用書上的話說，你聽明白意思就行。雲何滿？法無不合，不必修遣。諸法無性不可修遣，如是不修不遣。心淨無著，如是不起。能所如幻，如是無取無執。此其所以速得圓滿也。佛說，‘無有少法與少法合，但自然法必然與其自身合’，不明白這個道理，他就不會得到圓滿，到不了完美的世界；明白了，稍作練習就功德圓滿了。”
舅舅說：“我聽懂了，你繼續，怎麽看待和練習？”
I said to uncle: "This clause speaks of Fulfillment, I'll use the words from the book, you hear and understand the meaning. What is the fulfillment? There is no unmatched law, and you must not amend to send it away. Laws have no nature and cannot be amended or repatriated with; thus, no amendment no disharmony. The heart is immaculate and unattached; thus, it does not arouse. Cause and effect are like hallucination, thus, no fetch and no obsession. This is way one achieves perfect fulfillment quickly. The Veda said, 'There is no lesser law that match with the lesser law, but the natural law is bound to be united with itself.' Without understanding this, he will not attain perfect fulfillment and will not arrive at the perfect world; understanding this, with a little practice he will have perfected his merit and virtue."
Uncle said: "I understand; go on, how do you see and practice?"
我說：“佛經有說，萬物自有功，當言用極處；事存函蓋合，理應箭鋒柱。這是說，世間的萬事萬物千百年來存在，各自有它自己的道理和美德。當你把這道理推廣到極限，一物一理，事物存在了就是道理和事物匹配了。當你覺得事情合情合理了，你應該知道，你正在攀爬一個布滿劍鋒的柱子，必定受傷。”
舅舅說：“我聽明白了，但是沒抓住要領，你舉個例子說，怎麽做？”
I said: "It is said in the Buddhist scriptures that all things have their own merits, what we should say that using their extreme place; that thing exists shows box and cover fit, reasonable and fair you have climbed up a pillar covered by blades. This is to say that everything in the world has existed for thousands of years, each with its own reasoning and virtues. When you extend this reasoning to the limit, one thing, one reason, things exist is the reasoning and effects match. When you think things make sense, you should know that you are climbing up a pillar covered with sword blades and are bound to get hurt."
Uncle said: "I hear you, but I don't get the gist of it, so give me an example of how to do it."
7.5.6-2
我說：“比如，你到後院溜達，看見一顆水稗草，就單看這棵草，別看苗兒。你就想，幾天沒注意，你長這麽大了，又壯實，又水靈。你用不著對我二哥大喊：草長得都比苗兒高了。人家就三口人，不在忽這仨瓜倆棗的。你就想，我鏟你都鏟了50年了，你還長得這麽旺盛，今天我饒你一命，不拔你了。你單看這棵草的美麗；這就是一物一理。你這麽觀待每一個事物，就遠離了地獄，走向天堂，進入了佛的境界。”
I said: "For example, you go to the backyard, see a barnyard grass, just look at the grass alone, do not look at the seedlings. You just think, a few days did not pay attention, you grow so big, and strong, and watery. You don't need to yell at my second brother: the grass has grown taller than the seedlings. They are just three people, not mind of these three melons and two dates. You just think, I shoveled you have shoveled 50 years, you still grow so vigorous, today I spare your life, do not pull you. You look at the beauty of this barnyard grass alone; this is one thing and one reason. When you view everything in this way, you are far from hell, advance toward heaven, and into the realm of the Buddha."
舅舅問：“看草不看苗兒，看苗不看草。那會怎麽樣？”
我說：“當你單單欣賞水稗草的美的時候，美的等流果（參見11.6.2節《等流果》）就會隨意而聚；這就是如意（參見13.1.6-4 知足天）。如果不聯想別的，世界就是美好的。一想到苗和收成，這不合理呀！美好的世界就被破壞了。”
舅舅想了想，說：“確實，水稗草壯實水靈！我能感覺到。這個例子挺好！你再舉個別的例子。”
Uncle asked: "Look at the grass but not the seedlings and look at the seedlings but not the grass. What happens then?"
I said: "When you appreciate the beauty of the barnyard grass alone, the Equal Stream Fruits of beauty (cf. 11.6.2 Equal Stream Fruit) will be gathered at will; this is “As Wish” (cf. 13.1.6-4 Contentment Sky). If one does not associate it with anything else, the world is beautiful. When one thinks of seedlings and harvests, this is unreasonable! The beautiful world is destroyed."
Uncle thought for a moment, said: "Indeed, the barnyard grass is prosperously strong and watery! I can feel it. This example is quite good! You give another example."
7.5.6-3
我說：“你看你家的牆頭草，東風東倒，西風西隨，一段時間不下雨，你以為它們死了，可人家年年都長得不錯，還長生不老。”
舅舅驚奇地說：“那草長生不老？”
I said: "Look at your family's wall grass, east wind east, west wind west follows, a period of time does not rain, you think they are dead, but they grow well year after year, but also live forever."
Uncle said in amazement: "That grass lives forever?"
我說：“那草沒有生老病死的煩惱。它們不知道生死，生死對它們自己來說，沒有差別，所以會說話的人說它們長生不老。你得設身處地，從它們的角度出發！”
舅舅說：“那有啥用！？我沒聽明白。”
I said: "That grass doesn't have the annoyances of birth, getting old, illness, or dying.
They don't know about life and death, and there is no difference between life and death for themselves, so people who can talk say they live forever. You must put yourself in their shoes and take their point of view!"
Uncle said: "What's the point of that! I don't get it."
我說：“佛不生不滅，為什麽？因為成佛前，要求把生死扔掉，就是別管生死了，忘了生死。這在佛經裏都寫著呢！”
舅舅問：“這是真的嗎？”
I said: "Buddhas have no birth and death, why? Because before becoming a Buddha, one is required to throw away birth and death, that is, forget about birth and death. This is all written in the sutras!"
Uncle asked: "Is this true?"
我回答：“是真的！佛經裏的修煉過程中就有這一步：舍掉生死的概念想法和記憶；就是除掉生死劣種。你這麽看，這麽做，就逐漸地步入了人間仙境。”
舅舅叨咕：“是這麽回事兒！？”
I replied: "It is true! There is this step in the cultivation process in the Buddhist scriptures: to give up the conceptual ideas and memories of birth and death; that is, to get rid of the inferior seeds of birth and death. When you see and do this, you gradually step into the realm of earthly immortality."
Uncle chattered: "That's how it is!?"
我回答：“就是這麽回事！人說佛祖的金剛山（和尚山），連鳥的頭上都不長毛。我一看佛經，那是真的，那鳥是禿鷲。佛經說衣服長在樹上，也是真的！他們用木棉織袈裟。佛就善於發現現實生活中的美。為什麽佛土總是那麽好？他就單從事物的自身發現美，不相互比較。他們就單設身處地地從所觀本身出發，想問題；這是極端多元主義，是佛的世界觀。現在西方世界流行多樣兒化；就是這種多元主義。”
I replied: "That's how it is! People say that Buddha's Mount Sumeru (Monk's Mountain) doesn't even have hair on the heads of birds. When I looked at the sutra, that was true; the birds were vultures. The sutra says that clothes grow on trees, and that's also true! They weave robes out of cottonwood. Buddha was then good at finding beauty in real life. Why is the Buddha's land always so good? He finds beauty in things by themselves alone, without comparing them to each other. They just put themselves in the shoes of what they are looking at and think about it. This is extreme pluralism, the Buddha's worldview. Nowadays the western world is popular for diversification; it is this kind of pluralism."
舅舅問：“你練習過這個嗎？”
我回答：“我琢磨明白了這個道理，但是我還得掙錢吃飯買衣服，不能老是讓父母養活，還不到進入妙智世界的時候。你不一樣了，吃飯的時候，兒女給你放在這兒，供上。你就應該脫離苦海，登岸，進入妙智世界了。”
Uncle asked: "Have you practiced this?"
I replied: "I have pondered and understood this, but I still have to earn money to eat and buy clothes; I can't keep letting my parents feed me; it's not yet time to enter the Wonderful Intelligence World. You are different from me, when you eat, your sons and daughters put it here for you and make offerings. You should then be free from the bitter sea, disembark, and enter the Wonderful Intelligence World."
舅舅說：“這條叫圓滿。這麽看，這麽做，就是圓滿。按日常的道理想和作，那就煩惱無盡。你講下一條吧！等回頭再說說這條，你不就是來給我講這個的嗎！”
我回答：“是呀！你想聽，我就一直說。”
Uncle said: "This clause is called Perfect Fulfillment. To see like this and to do like this is Perfect Fulfillment. To idealize and act according to the daily path, that is trouble without end. You speak about the next clause! Wait until later to talk about this one, isn't that what you came to tell me!"
I replied: "Yes! I'll keep talking if you want to hear it."
7.5.7 想去哪兒去哪兒 To Think Where to Go is Arriving There
我引導話題地問：“舅舅，你有沒有見鬼的經曆，比如看見已經過世的人；或者感覺身上有東西，比如蟲子、小老鼠在爬什麽的？”
舅舅瞪大了眼睛，反問：“有怎麽的？沒有怎麽的？” （注1，他在防衛自己，保護自己的隱私。）
我回答：“沒什麽！你病了半年多了，身體變得虛弱了，或者保持某種姿勢久了，就可能產生幻覺。幻覺過去被稱作鬼。”
I steered the conversation by asking: "Uncle, have you ever experienced seeing ghosts, such as seeing someone who has passed away; or feeling something on your body, such as bugs or mice crawling or something?"
Uncle's eyes widened and he asked rhetorically: "Any how? No how?" (Note 1, he's on the defensive, protecting his privacy.)
I replied: "Nothing! You've been sick for more than six months, and when your body becomes weak, or when you stay in a certain position for a long time, you may hallucinate. Hallucinations used to be called ghosts."
舅舅問：“那是為什麽？怎麽造成的？”
我回答：“幻覺和夢一樣，都是正常的生理現象，人就有時候做夢，有時候有幻覺。”
Uncle asked: "Then why? How is it caused?"
I answered: "Hallucinations, like dreams, are normal physiological phenomena; people just sometimes dream and sometimes have hallucinations."
舅舅問：“幻覺和過去的經曆有關係嗎？”
我回答：“幻覺和夢類似，當然也不會無中生有，應該說和過去的經曆有關係。有人胡思亂想地解夢，也有人胡亂聯係地解釋幻覺現象，自尋煩惱。幻覺就是過去人所說的鬼，什麽胳肢鬼，淘氣鬼，索命鬼，什麽的。”
Uncle asked: "Do hallucinations have anything to do with past experiences?"
I answered: "Hallucinations are similar to dreams, of course they don't come from nothing, so we should say that they are related to past experiences. Some people interpret dreams in a haphazard manner, while others interpret the phenomenon of hallucinations in a haphazardly connected manner, at their own peril. Hallucinations are what people used to call ghosts, what tickling ghosts, naughty ghosts, life-suppressing ghosts, whatever."
7.5.7-2 鬼神境界 Realm of Ghosts and Gods
由此，我係統地講述觸覺、聽覺和視覺的幻覺現象，和處理辦法（參見第12章《禪》）。
舅舅說：“我明白了，有幻覺了，無論是什麽感覺，無論什麽聲音，無論什麽樣兒，反正都是幻覺，性質都一樣兒，喜歡，可以逗它玩；不喜歡了，就像對待小孩兒一樣，趕它走，出聲地說，‘你走開’。”
From this, I systematically describe the tactile hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, Visual Hallucinations, and how to deal with them (see Chapter 12 Meditation).
Uncle said: "I understand, when there is a hallucination, no matter what kind of feeling, no matter what kind of sound, no matter what kind of thing, it's all a hallucination, and it's all of the same nature; if you like it, you can tease it; if you don't like it, you can just drive it away like a child, and say out with sound, 'Go away!' "
我回答：“對！幻境中的影像是思想的‘想’；彼是內慮所托。剛才說的都是局部幻覺，整體呢？陰間的整個世界，即幻境，也是隨著你的思想意誌改變的。比如說，你忽然有個想法，‘天堂’。在幻境中，就在你想‘天堂’二字的同時，你的‘想’取來了天堂的形象，接著無意識就按匹配，生成了天堂的幻境。你就到了天堂了。”
I replied: "Right! The images in the hallucinations are the 'thoughts' of the mind; they are held by internal considerations. What I have just said is a localized hallucination; what about the whole? The whole world of the netherworld, i.e., the realm of hallucination, also changes with the will of your thoughts. For example, you suddenly have a thought, 'Heaven'. In the hallucination just as you think the word 'heaven', your 'Think' takes the image of heaven, and then the unconscious, by matching, generates the realm of heaven. So, you arrive in heaven."
舅舅問：“想去哪兒去哪兒，任何地方，任何情況下？”
我回答：“完全正確！剛才說的‘蹬牆入畫’的例子，就是進入了太虛幻境，也就是進入了陰間那個平等世界。你進去之後，開始時，那裏很小，很快便生成了一個世界。”
Uncle asked: "Wherever you want to go, whatever, in any situation?"
I replied: "Exactly! The example of 'stomping on the wall and entering the painting' that I just mentioned is entering the realm of netherworld (including heaven), that is, entering that world of equality in the netherworld. When you go in, at first, it is very small there, and soon a world is generated."
舅舅問：“然後呢？”
我回答：“到了另一個世界，開始時，那裏還是很小，很快便生成了一個大的世界。一個世界從形成到崩壞就是一大劫。一大劫就是一個永恒。陰壽有很多大劫，或說有很多個恒時。”
Uncle asked: "And then what?"
I replied: "When you went to the other world, it was still small at first and soon a large world was generated. A world from its formation to its collapse is a great catastrophe. A great catastrophe is an eternity. There are many great catastrophes, or eternities, in the after life (including netherworld and heaven)."
舅舅說：“我明白了，我遇到的奇怪現象就是這個世界和那個世界逐漸地連接了；我要死了！”
我對舅舅的說法感覺驚訝，回答：“可以說是這個世界和幻覺世界有了連接，但不說明你要死了。我小時候練氣功，常去那裏玩，可我現在還活得好好的，沒死。有幻覺經曆和死亡沒關係，隻是幻覺世界是人們對死亡世界描述的來源。”
Uncle said: "I see, the strange phenomenon I am experiencing is that this world and that world are gradually connecting; I am going to die!"
Feeling surprised at my uncle's statement, I replied: "It can be said that there is a connection between this world and the world of hallucination, but it does not mean that you are going to die. I practiced meditation when I was a child and used to go there, but I am still alive and not dead. Having hallucinatory experiences has nothing to do with death, except that the hallucinatory world is the source of people's descriptions of the world of death."
7.5.7-3 痛苦嗎？Is It Painful?
舅舅問：“那裏很可怕，很痛苦吧？”
我回答：“很新奇，不可怕。當身體的感覺沒了的時候，就可以說那裏是陰間，天堂，也可以說是地獄。不痛苦，很舒服的。我說了，我小時候練氣功，去過那裏多次，我很喜歡去那裏探索世界。”
舅舅問：“怎麽天堂和地獄是一個地方？”
Uncle asked: "It's scary and painful there, right?"
I replied: "It's very novel, not scary. When the physical sensation is gone, you can say that it is the underworld, heaven, or hell. It is not painful and very comfortable. As I said, I practiced Meditation when I was a child. I’ve been there many times, and I love going there and exploring the world.”
Uncle asked: "Why are heaven and hell the same place?"
我回答：“那裏是日常積累的業習氣自發的世界。邪惡的人，日常就生活在暴亂和恐怖之中；到了那裏，他的業習氣自發的世界就是地獄。好人的生活和平快樂，到了那裏，他的業習氣自發的世界也是和平和歡樂，人們就說他進入了天堂。”
舅舅叨咕：“是這麽回事！那裏有多可怕，多痛苦？”
I answered: "That is the world where the karmic habits accumulated daily are spontaneous. Evil people live in riots and terror every day here. Once there, the world where their karmic habits are spontaneous is hell. Good people live peaceful and happy lives here. The world where his or her karmic habits are spontaneous is also peaceful and joyful, so people say that he or she has entered heaven.”
Uncle muttered: "That's what it is! How terrible and painful is it there?"
我回答：“就像是到了一個新的地方。剛進去的時候，還有身體的記憶。身體像是一個影子。接著，身體就沒了，沒了身體，就沒有身體的痛苦了。像你，肺癌很疼，在那兒，就沒有疼的感覺。沒有身體痛苦就很少，可以忽略了。”
舅舅問：“那後來你怎麽不去那裏了？不練氣功了？”
I answered: "It's like arriving in a new place. When I first entered, there was still the memory of the body. The body was like a shadow. Then, the body was gone. Without the body, there is no physical pain. Like you, lung cancer is very painful here. There is no physical pain, so it can be ignored."
Uncle asked: "Then why didn't you go there anymore? Didn't you practice meditation?"
我回答：“後來，我發現去那兒會產生陽壽中（即日常生活中）記憶的丟失。例如，一次，我聽見我爸問我媽，‘盧岩怎麽不生氣了，我還以為他得生氣幾天呢！’我媽回答，‘可能是他又練氣功了。有時候他練完氣功就高興，前後院兒跑，看哪兒哪兒新鮮，像似多天沒回家了似的。’再比如，有同學對我說，‘哎，咱倆前天不是打架了嗎，你怎麽跟沒事似的？’ 我想，‘呀，我怎麽不記得了呢！’ 我就發現了，入定（幻覺狀態）會造成短期記憶的遺失（幻境刷新了臨時或短期記憶）。這要是我忘了兩年的事，那我不得回去讀小學了麽！我就不練氣功了。”
I answered: "Later, I discovered that going there would cause memory loss in the solar light world (that is daily life, or vessel world). For example, once, I heard my dad ask my mom, 'Why is Luyan not angry anymore? I thought he must be angry for several days.’ My mother replied, ‘Maybe he practiced meditation again. Sometimes he is happy after practicing meditation and runs around looking at everything, as if he hasn't been home for many days." For another example, a classmate said to me, ‘Hey, we had a fight the day before yesterday. Why did you act like nothing happened?’ I thought, ‘Oh, why don't I remember it?’ I discovered that the state of trance (hallucination) causes the loss of short-term memory (the hallucination refreshes the preconscious and short-term memory). If I forget this for two years, then I must go back to primary school! Then I stopped practicing meditation."
舅舅說：“啊！在那兒越活越年輕。”
我回答：“到了那裏，就感覺像似幾歲的孩子。 我不是就在給你送終，送你回老家嗎！ 那裏是神的世界，我在送你歸位。”
Uncle said: "Ah! The longer you live there, the younger you become."
I replied: "When I get there, I feel like a child of several years old. Aren't I just seeing you off and sending you back to your old home? That is the world of God, and I am sending you back to your own position."
7.5.7-4 如果我走錯路了怎麽辦？What if I go the wrong way?
舅舅感歎：“還真是回老家啊！如果我走錯路了，怎麽辦？”
我回答：“不論你在哪兒，西天極樂世界，還是龍宮，地獄，還是和玉皇大帝在一起，你都是‘想去哪兒去哪兒，立刻就到’。對了！劉健君當時告訴我，可得注意點兒：你別把你舅舅送錯地方了！”
Uncle exclaimed: "It's really back home! What if I go the wrong way?"
I replied: "No matter where you are, the Western Paradise of Ultimate Bliss, the Dragon's Palace, Hell, or with the Jade Emperor, you are 'going wherever you think of simultaneously. ' Right! Eve Liu told me at the time, be careful: you don't send your uncle to the wrong place!"
舅舅問：“怎麽還能送錯地方？”
我回答：“劉健君說有。就在她們醫院裏，有個老太太，她理想很特別，想下輩子在一個什麽庵做個侍女。超渡的法師講完離開後，她就不明白了。後來，那個老太太的家人就問那個法師是不是給講錯地方了？那個法師說：‘地方是真的錯不了，全中國64種宗教都去那一個地方，就是用詞或說法不一樣。對於基督教和伊斯蘭教徒，我們也是這麽超渡的，就是換個名字，送他們去見上帝或者安拉。”
The uncle asked: "How could it be sent to the wrong place?"
I answered: "Eve Liu said yes. In their hospital, there was an old lady with very special ideals. She wanted to be a maid in some nunnery in her next life. After the juristic teacher finished speaking and left, she got confused. Later, the old lady's family asked the juristic teacher if he had sent her the wrong place. The teacher said, ‘The place is not wrong. All 64 religions (including Christian and Islam) in China go to that same place, but the words or expressions are different." Christians and Muslims also are transcendently ferried in this way, just by changing their names and sending them to see God or Allah.”
舅舅問：“怎麽所有宗教都一樣？”
我回答：“劉健君從小就聽她爸爸給別人講這個，她研究生實習的時候，發現法師到醫院超渡將死的病人。她跟那些法師熟了，就問他們。她發現，所有的法師都用這幾句話，都用這幾個道理來超渡，不同的宗教說法和用詞不一樣，比如神教把無意識稱作神，佛教稱作佛，現代心理學稱作無意識，都是人們所說的良心。”
Uncle asked: "Why are all religions the same?"
I answered: "Eve Liu has heard her father tell this to others since she was a child. When she was doing her postgraduate internship, she found that juristic teachers went to the hospital to transcendently ferry dying patients. She became familiar with those masters, so she asked them. She found that all the masters use these words and principles to transcend. Different religions have different expressions and terms. For example, theistic religions call the unconscious God, Buddhism calls it Buddha, and modern psychology calls it the unconscious. All are people so-called conscience.”
7.5.8 神通正等明 Heart Connects with Correct Equality Light
舅舅問：“如果我掉地獄裏了，咋辦？”
我回答：“任何情況下，都是‘想去哪兒去哪兒’。”
Uncle asked: "What if I fall in hell?"
I replied, "In any case, to think where to go is arriving there."
舅舅說：“還是這個道理！即便是我掉地獄裏了，我說天堂，就到天堂了。”
我回答：“對！這和信阿彌陀佛的人認為：“死的時候，說一聲阿彌陀佛，阿彌陀佛就回來接他去西方的極樂世界是一個道理。想啥是啥，一想就到，有願望就會立刻實現。”
My uncle said, "Or this! Even if I fall in hell, when I say heaven, I’m arriving at heaven."
I replied: "Exactly! This is the same reason that people who believe in Ometeotl Buddha think, 'When they die, say Ometeotl, and Ometeotl Buddha will come to take them to the Western World of Ultimate Bliss.' Think what you want when you want it, you will get that, and if you have a wish, it will come true immediately."
舅舅叨咕：“這說法都是真的？”
我回答：“道理是這樣的。 這是心理機製原理，機器一樣的前後序列事件。”
舅舅說：“這回我可真明白了。你說下一條吧！”
Uncle chimed in: "Are these claims all true?"
I replied: "The causes and effects are like this. It's the principle of psychological mechanisms, machine-like sequences of events before and after."
Uncle said: "I really understand this time. You say the next clause!"
7.5.8-2 平等 Equality
我說：“這條是神通正等明。等是說陰間，或說天堂，或說純幻覺狀態，是一個平等世界。凡是有兩條腿的都平等，平等於有四條腿的，平等於有六條腿的，平等於有多條腿的，平等於沒有腿的，平等於諸神佛世尊，平等於鳥獸魚蟲；平等於花草樹木，平等於山川河流大海等。平等的原因是無意識（古作神識）的性質，是畢竟空（如圖7.5-2）。”
I said: "The clause is Connection with Correct Equality Light. Equality means the afterlife, or heaven, or the state of pure hallucination, is a world of equality. All those with two legs are equal, equal to those with four legs, equal to those with six legs, equal to those with many legs, equal to those with no legs, equal to the gods and buddhas of the world, equal to the birds, animals, fish, and insects; equal to the flowers, plants, and trees, and equal to the mountains, rivers, and oceans, and so on. The reason of equality is nature of unconsciousness (aka. God-sense), is “Empty After All” (see fig. 7.5-2)."
舅舅說：“我知道，就是都一樣。”
我問：“他們別的法師也說了這個？”
Uncle said: "I know, it's just all the same."
I asked: "They other juristic teachers also said this?"
舅舅回答：“他們都說了；但是你說你的。”
我想了想“都一樣”，回答：“比如你到後院，那兒什麽都有，都平等。你不能瞧不起樹。在陰間，你打石頭，石頭也會蹦起來反擊，打你！必須平等對待眾生。”
Uncle replied: "They all said it; but you say yours."
I thought about "all the same" and replied: "For example, you go to the backyard, there is everything there, all equal. You can't look down on trees. In the afterlife, if you hit a rock, the rock will jump up and hit you back! All beings must be treated equally."
舅舅驚訝了，回答：“啊！那我被石頭打了，會發生什麽事？”
我回答：“打得嚴重，那個世界就壞了。你就會去到另一個地方，生成另一個世界，就從一劫到了另一劫。”
Surprised, uncle replied: "Ah! So, what happens when I get hit by a rock?"
I replied: "Hit badly, that world collapses down. You then go to another place, generate another world, and go from one catastrophe to another."
7.5.8-3 授戒 Bestowing Precept
舅舅問：“嗯！打架不好！怎樣才能不打架呢？”
我回答：“我小時候練氣功，琢磨過這個問題，就守戒有用。在陽間（即器世間）生活中心平氣和了，在那個世界（即陰間，佛教作五蘊世間，參見11.4 五蘊）裏就是平和快樂的。”
Uncle asks: "Hmmm! Fighting is not good! How can I stop fighting?"
I replied: "I practiced meditation when I was a child and pondered over this question, and it is useful to keep the precepts. When you have peace of mind in this Solar Light World (daily life world, Vessel World), you are peaceful and happy in that world (i.e., God’s World, Five Nodes World; cf. 11.4 Five Nodes)."
舅舅回答：“他們都這麽說，但他們用書上的話說的，你是自己總結出來的。你說你的，守什麽戒？”
我回答：“我小時候看過很多佛學雜誌。我讚同他們的說法，守十戒。前三條，一）不殺生，二）不偷盜，三）不邪淫，是約束身體行為的。四）不妄語，五）不綺語，六）不惡口，七）不兩舌，是約束語言行為的。八）不慳貪，九）不嗔恚，十）正信因果道理（參見《苦諦》）是約束意識行為的。”
Uncle replied: "That's what they all say, but they say it using the words of a book; you summarized it yourself. What precepts do you keep when you say yours?"
I replied: "I read a lot of Buddhist magazines when I was a kid. I agree with them about keeping the Ten Precepts. The first three, 1) do not kill, 2) do not steal, and 3) do not commit heretical sex, are constraints on physical behavior. 4) not to speak delusionally, 5) not to use flowery speech, 6) not to speak of coarse ferocious language, 7) not to two-tongue (not to sow discord among people), the four are oral precepts. 8) not being greedy, 9) not being irritated, and 10) believing in causes and fruits, the last three are to constrain the intent behaviors."
我繼續說：“戒條有很多，‘三千威儀八萬四千細行（參見16.2節）’是從那些戒法算出來的。我看雜誌上的和尚們都說，這十條就完全夠用。”
舅舅回答：“我明白了，這就行！”
I continued: "There are many precepts, and the ‘3,000 Majesties 108,000 Enchantments (see Section 16.2)’ are calculated out from those precepts. The monks in the magazines I read say that these ten are perfectly adequate."
Uncle replied: "I see, that's fine!"
我說：“戒法就是佛法的法，俗稱天條。正等明的‘正’是說戒法是正確的。‘等’字就是前麵說的平等。‘明’字是說那個世界會變得越來越光明，直至常寂光天（即插圖17.5-2，亦作涅槃）。正等明是佛的覺悟，無上正等正覺的簡稱，梵語啊褥多羅三藐三菩提。”
舅舅問：“最後什麽樣兒？”
I said: "The precepts are Buddha’s (God’s) laws, commonly known as the Heavenly Clauses. The word 'correctness' of the “Correct Equality Light” is saying that the precepts are correct. The word Equality is the equality mentioned earlier. The word Light means that that world will become brighter and brighter until the Constant Silent Light Sky (i.e., Illustration 17.5-2, also known as Nirvana)." The ‘Correct Equality Light’ is Buddha’s (or God’s) enlightenment, is short for Non-Upper Correct-Equality Correct-Perception, Sanskrit as Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi.”
Uncle asked: "What will it look like in the end?"
我回答：“佛經說，或青、或黃、或赤、或白的常色遍處，即常寂光天，主觀和客觀是一體的了。環境不變，所以人沒有記憶。這事就是有人經曆過，回來後，根據記憶說的。”
舅舅說：“我琢磨也是那麽回事，都是死人又活過來了的經曆。然後，有像你這樣的，練過氣功的，經曆過，一看，啊，是這麽回事！”
I replied: "Buddhist sutras say that the Constant Silent Light Sky of turquoise, or yellow, or red, or white is pervasive, where subjectivity and objectivity are merged as oneness. The environment does not change, so one has no memory of it. This is the case of someone who has experienced it, comes back, and speaks from memory."
Uncle said: "I figured it was something like that, all the experiences of dead people coming back to life. Then there are those like you, who have practiced meditation, who have experienced it, and look, ah, it's so true!"
我說：“佛說，‘全世界所有人的工作，我的工作最好，佛座人人都應該坐。這正等明座位解脫力極強，你不坐不得解脫，你一坐很快就解脫了’。 這條也需要練習。”
舅舅問：“怎麽練？”
I said: "Buddha said that I have the best job of all the people in the world, and that everyone should sit on the Buddha's seat. This seat of Correct Equality Light is extremely liberating; you can't be liberated if you don't sit on, and you're quickly liberated once you sit on. This clause also needs to be practiced."
Uncle asked: "How do I practice?"
我回答：“你就作為上帝或佛，用這幾句超渡（拯救）那張桌子，這座房子，花草樹木，山川河流，或者山神土地，四海龍王，等等；不超渡人，‘應化非真’。”
舅舅問：“為什麽要超渡假的，不能超渡真的？”
I replied: "Just as God or Buddha, you use these clauses to transcendently ferry (to save) that table, this house, flowers, plants, trees, mountains, rivers, or gods and goddesses of mountains and lands, dragon-kings of the four seas, and so on; not transcending people, ‘should transcend those not real'."
Uncle asked: "Why should we transcend those fake and not the real ones?"
我回答：“佛經上是這麽說的，不是你一定不能超渡人，而是說超渡那些假的效果好。”
I replied: "That's what the sutras say, it's not that you necessarily can't transcend people, but that transcending those that are fake works the best."
7.5.8-4 授記 Bestowing Remembrance
我又從開始重講。舅舅也試著超渡我，還說：“這回我可真明白了，我感覺全身像似透明了似的，以前的那些全身都不舒服，都不見了；當然，肺癌還是那麽疼。”
我感覺驚訝，這麽快！說：“我向同學劉健君學習這事的時候，她說她爸自己說的，‘他能把人說明白得像似全身透明似的’。”
舅舅說：“我說的是真的；她爸，像你說的似的，是活佛。我真信！沈陽是個老城，有幾個活佛不奇怪。”
I started to re-tell it from the beginning again. Uncle also tried to transcendently ferry me, and said, "This time I really understand, I feel as if my whole body is transparent, and all those previous discomforts all over my body are gone; of course, the lung cancer still hurts so much."
I feel surprised, so soon! Said: "I learn this from my classmate Eve Liu, she said her father said himself, 'he can make people understand like as if the whole body is transparent'."
Uncle said: "What I said is true; her father, like you said, is a living Buddha. I really believe! Shenyang is an old city; it is not strange to have a few living Buddhas."
我說：“我從佛學書上看過，等明天早上，你再回憶一遍咱倆的談話，就算覺悟了。我認為你已經得到了入流果（參見15.2.4 四離係果）。入流是進入了聖道流，就是入門了，是小乘佛教中的第一個果位，一果聖人。我可不是瞎說。我以前在雜誌上看過，他們評估證得入流果有六項條件。我跟你說的這些和那些條件是對應的，內容隻多不少。這個成就可不低呀！許多和尚、尼姑忙了大半輩子，也不敢說自己證得了入流果。 這是因為，我說了，你就信了！”
I said: "I've read about it in a Buddhist book, and tomorrow morning, when you recall our conversation, you'll be enlightened. I think you have attained the Entering Stream Fruit (see 15.2.4 Four Off-is Fruits). To enter the stream is to enter the stream of the holy path, that is the first fruit sage in Hinayana Buddhism. I'm not making this up. I've read in magazines before that they assess that there are six conditions for attaining the first fruit sage. What I'm telling you corresponds to those conditions. This is not a low achievement! Many monks and nuns have been busy for most of their lives, but they don't dare to say that they have attained the Entering Stream Fruit. This is because, when I say it, you believe it!"
舅舅說：“我知道！我自己也認為明白了！咱爺倆有緣！ 你不知道，這幾句話我學了八年多了。你二哥給我請了六七個法師了。另外，前街的XXX，是我從小的朋友，是法師，他一個人就給我講了十來遍了。”
Uncle said: "I know! I think I understand it myself! We are destined to be together as masters! You don't know that I've been learning these words for more than six months. Your second brother has hired six or seven juristic teachers for me. In addition, XXX on Front Street, a friend of mine since I was a child, is a juristic teacher, and he alone has taught me dozen times."
我問舅舅：“我講的，和那幾位法師比起來怎麽樣？”
舅舅回答：“講得挺好！比他們大多數的法師強！”
我興奮地說：“我感覺我今天挺聰明！不知咋回事，劉健君給我講得，不多不少，我全想起來了，全用上了！”
I asked: "How does my preaching compare to those juristic teachers?"
Uncle replied: "The preaching is quite good! It's better than most of those juristic teachers!"
I said excitedly: "I feel like I'm pretty smart today! I don't know what happened, but what Eve Liu told me, no more, no less, I remembered it all and used it all!"
舅舅笑著說：“我發現了，畢竟第一次給人送終，有些緊張。我發現你不知道下麵該說什麽了，我就提醒你。你的素質真好，我一問，你連想都不想，張嘴就回答！”
我恍然大悟，說：“我才明白，我怎麽把劉健君說的話全記住了呢！原來是你引導著我們的談話。”
Uncle laughed and said: "I realized that, after all, it's the first time you've given a sermon, so you're a bit nervous. I realized you didn't know what to say next, so I reminded you. You have such good qualities, when I ask, you don't even think about it, you open your mouth and answer!"
I realized and said: "I just realized how I remembered everything Eve Liu said! So, it was you who guided our conversation."
7.6 她的影響力大 She Has Great Influence
從舅舅家回來後，我聯係劉健君約會，她說她忙，沒時間。我去向張利民宿舍的室友們請教此事。還沒說完我和劉健君的事，張利民笑得閉不上嘴了，對我說：“別誤會！你進屋一說女朋友，甲同學就告訴我，你今天是來向我們請教如何解決你的那個女朋友的問題。”他又對甲：“真神！你沒說盧岩病了，我還真沒看出來！咋才見幾麵，他就鬧心成這樣了！？”
After returning from my uncle's house, I contacted Eve Liu for a date, but she said she was busy and had no time. I went to ask my roommates in Zhang Limin's dormitory for advice on the matter. Before I could finish talking about Eve Liu and I, Zhang Limin couldn't shut his mouth from laughing and said to me: "Don't get me wrong! As soon as you came into the room and said girlfriend, Classmate A told me that you came here today to ask us for advice on how to solve that girlfriend problem of yours." He added to A: "Holy! I didn't really see it until you said Luyan was sick! How come he's so upset after just a few dates!"
同學甲說： “就有這樣的人，那個女的就是個讓人鬧心的人！我給你舉個例子說，咱這些人正在這討論得熱鬧呢，她來了，說幾句，就掩（殺）倒咱這一群人。她的知識麵比咱們寬，看得就是比咱們深。那咱們還能說啥！”
Classmate A said: "There are such people, that girl is a disturbing person! Let me give you an example. We are having a lively discussion here, she comes and says a few words, houses up (pinches, kills) our group of people. Her knowledge is wider than ours, and she sees deeper than we do. What else can we say?"
張利民問：“你咋知道那個女的就是那樣兒的人？”
乙同學說：“看看咱們東北大學天才班那幫瘋子，誰能整得了！中國醫科大學天才班的學生肯定比咱東大的瘋多了！”
Zhang Limin asked, "How do you know that woman is that kind of person?"
Classmate B said, "Look at those crazy people in the genius class at our Northeastern University, who can handle them! The students in the genius class at China Medical University are much crazier than our Northeastern!"
張利民說：“我還挺喜歡他們呢！找個有學問的女朋友，掙錢多，有啥不好！盧岩為啥鬧心？”
同學甲說： “受氣！又說不過人家，整的連話都不敢說了，人家看不起你！那個女的優點明顯，盧岩否定不了；缺點突出，盧岩忍受不了。處與不處，盧岩決定不了，所以問咱們來了。” 甲對我說：“這個不行！長痛不如短痛，當即立斷！”
Zhang Limin said: "I quite like them! What's wrong with finding an educated girlfriend who earns more money! Why is Luyan so upset?"
Classmate A said: "Being squeezed (pinched, housed)! Speeches are inferior to her, even dare not to speak! She despises you! The girl's advantages are obvious, Luyan can not deny; shortcomings are prominent, Luyan can not countenance. Luyan can't decide whether to get along or not, so he came to ask us. This won't work! Long pain is worse than short pain, break up immediately!"
張利民對他說：“哎！哎！盧岩沒讓你給做決定！這才剛認識。時間長了，你咋知道那女的不會喜歡上盧岩，讓著他呢！”
他們認為，“諍（1）”是劉健君的個人特質，終生不變，一輩子學不會個“讓”字。醫大天才班的人，那是全國一流的天才，我盧岩資質平平，和她結婚，我一輩子就隻能畏畏縮縮地活著。這婚姻不般配，建議我找個和自己差不多的。
Zhang Limin said to him: "Hey! Ai! Luyan didn't let you make the decision! They've only just met. After a long time, how do you know that the girl will not like Luyan, give way to him!"
They think, "Expostulation (1)" is Eve Liu's personal strong trait, lifelong, can not learn the word "Concession". The people in the genius class of the China Medical University are the first-class geniuses in whole China, and I, Luyan, have mediocre qualifications. If I marry her, I can only live in fear for the rest of my life. This marriage is not a good match, suggest that I find a like me.
我打電話給劉健君，說話支支吾吾的，她說：“我也覺得咱倆不合適。” 就這樣，我和她分手了。
一周後，我已經把她忘了，逐漸從不舒服的身心狀態恢複了健康。
I called Eve Liu, stammered, she said: "I also think we are not suitable." Thus, she broke up with me.
A week later, I gradually recovered from the uncomfortable physical and mental state of health, and I had already forgotten about her.
注7.6-1，諍是好心勸諫義，但佛認為諍是一切暴亂的起因，故戒諍是佛教社區的第一戒。這個年齡階段的玉女（夏娃，觀音菩薩），諍心特別重。如圖7.6-1是古墨西哥的，約20-39歲的翠玉女（夏娃）的特質畫。眼睛長在頭頂，身體很寬，表示她傲慢，看不起別人。這是釋迦摩尼（即亞當，金童，世界末日判官）在給觀音菩薩（夏娃，眾生之母）加冕時誇她， “無諍住最為第一” （參見《金剛經》的17.2.9 節《禁果》）的原因，旨在提醒她戒諍。
Note 7.6-1, Expostulation is the act of earnestly protesting or remonstrating, but Buddha believes that Expostulation is the cause of all riots, so abstaining from Expostulation is the first precept of the Buddhist community. The Jade Girl (Eve, Guanyin Bodhisattva), at this age, is especially heavy in Expostulation. Figure 7.6-1 is a drawing of the traits of the Jade Girl (Eve) from ancient Mexico, about 20-39 years old. Her eyes are on top of her head and her body is very wide, indicating that she is arrogant and looks down on others. This is the reason why Shakyamuni (i.e., Adam, the Golden Boy, the Judge of the Doomsday) complimented Guanyin Bodhisattva (i.e., Eve, the mother of all living beings) when he coronated her as "The Upmost Number 1 of No Expostulation Dwell” (cf. Section 17.2.9, Forbidden Fruit, of the Diamond Sutra), which was meant to remind her to abstain from expostulation.
7.6-2
一天中午，路過黃老師的宿舍門口，他叫我過去。我笑著進了他們的房間。黃老師讓我走近些；我鄭重其事地聽。他說：“劉健君她媽讓我告訴你，她說你見人往後縮，一說話還臉紅，啥也不知道！她不願意和你相處了。我不是告訴你了，要注意接人待物的舉止嗎！”
One day at noon, passing by the door of Teacher Huang's dormitory, he called me over. I smiled and entered their room. Teacher Huang asked me to come closer; I listened solemnly. He said: "Eve Liu's mom told me to tell you that she says you shrink back when you see people, blush when you talk, and don't know anything! She doesn't want to get along with you anymore. Didn't I tell you to pay attention to your demeanor in dealing with her!"
我立刻生氣地大叫：“她早就告訴我了！” 轉身離開了。
黃老師對他室友叨咕：“怎麽搞的？這事不用告訴兩遍。走，咱倆過去看看！” 他們倆跟到了我的房間。
I immediately yelled in anger: "She told me that already!" Turning away.
Teacher Huang chattered to his roommate: "What the hell? You don't have to tell this twice. Come on, let's both go over and look!" The two of them followed me to my room.
黃老師說：“盧岩傷自尊了！” 他室友叨咕：“他還能傷自尊！”
黃老師對他的室友嚷嚷：“你閉嘴！你看誰都和你自己一樣！” 對我說：“這事不怪你，你很好，很正常，是劉健君那丫頭太厲害了！”
Teacher Huang said, "Luyan hurt his pride!" His roommate muttered, "He can still hurt his self-esteem!"
Teacher Huang yelled at his roommate: "Shut up! You look at everyone like yourself!" To me, he said: "You're not to blame for this, you're fine and normal, it's that girl Eve Liu who's too powerful!"
我流著眼淚說：“她厲害！那不還是我不行麽！”
他的室友說：“哎呀！盧岩真的哭了，真動情了！怎麽反應這麽強烈？”
I said with tears in my eyes: "She's awesome! Then it's still me who's not good!"
His roommate said: "Oops! Luyan really cried and got emotional! Why did you react so strongly?"
黃老師對他說：“這不明擺著的事麽！” 對我說：“不是你不行！劉健君是真的與眾不同。這丫頭擠懟人，那才讓人難受呢！你別看我都四十來歲了，在沒人的時候，就因為她，我都哭過五、六次了。你看，我就這麽幫她介紹男朋友，她怎麽對我？你和她見麵那天，你都看見了（參見7.3節《相親》）。有一次，在沒別人的時候，她就這樣（側著臉）就咬牙切齒地叨咕，還讓我聽著，‘沒用的東西，這點事兒都辦不好，你還能幹啥！’誒！我給她介紹男朋友，是給她辦事呢；我是看在她爸爸的麵子。”
Teacher Huang said to him: "It's not obvious!" To me, he said: "It's not that you are inferior! Eve Liu is different. This girl squeezes dislike, that's what makes it hard! Look at me, I'm in my forties, but when no one's around, I've cried five or six times because of her. Look, I just introduced her to boyfriends, how did she treat me? You saw it the day you met her (cf. section 7.3 Blind Date). Once, when no one else was around, she just gritted her teeth like this (with his face turned sideways) and made me listen, 'Worthless thing, if you can't do this, what else can you do!' Eh! I introduced her to a boyfriend as a favor to her; I did it for her father's sake."
我自己也覺得這事怪，怎麽反應這麽強烈，說：“我沒事，她說的都是事實，隻是感覺委屈。”
他的室友說：“沒傷自尊，人家都說對了！”
黃老師對他嚷嚷：“說錯了怎麽能傷自尊呢！” 又對我說：“那丫頭看人的短處，那看得才準呢！”
I think this is strange, how to react so strongly, said: "I'm fine, what she said is the truth, just feel aggrieved."
His roommate said: "It didn't hurt his pride; Eve Liu is right!"
Teacher Wong yelled at him: "How can saying the wrong thing hurt self-esteem!" He also said to me: "That girl looks at people's shortcomings, that's only accurate!"
7.7 無事生非 Much Ado About Nothing
一周後，黃老師滿麵愁容地來找我問：“你和劉健君怎麽了？打架啦？”
我當時就不耐煩了，說：“我和她沒關係。在路上遇見她，我們相互不認識！你跟我說她幹什麽！”
A week later, Teacher Huang came to me with a sad face and asked: "What happened to you and Eve Liu? Were you fighting?"
I became impatient and said: "She has nothing to do with me. I met her on the road, and we didn't know each other! Why did you tell me what she was doing!"
黃老師說：“我是介紹人! 還一手托兩家，你們之間發生了什麽事兒，我有權問問！”
我認為他說的有道理，回答：“那倒是，可以問！我和她才見幾麵，什麽事兒也沒有!”
Teacher Huang said: "I am the matchmaker! I am also responsible for two sides. I have the right to ask what happened between you!"
I thought what he said made sense, replied: "That's true, you can ask! I've only met her a few times, nothing happened!"
黃老師說：“前天，劉健君她爸聽她們娘兒倆嘮嗑。劉健君氣得不得了，對她媽說：盧岩一說話，臉就紅！都三十來歲的人了，咋還能那樣呢！還見不起人，見人往後縮！那天我們遇見我們醫院的科長，我要介紹給他，他落在後麵不過去！黃老師跟我說，他愛打架。那架打得才大呢！連和平區政府都出麵去調解了。我問他，他說他不記得了！啥也不知道！”
Teacher Huang said: "The day before yesterday, Eve Liu's father listened to the mother and daughter two of them chattering. Eve Liu was furious and said to her mom, ‘Whenever Luyan talks, her face turns red! He's in his thirties; how can he still be like that? He's still not good enough to see people, shrinks back when he does! The other day we met the head of our hospital's department, and I wanted to introduce him to him, but he lagged and couldn't get through! Teacher Huang told me that he loves to fight. That fight was so big! Even the Heping District Government stepped in to mediate. I asked him, and he said he didn't remember! He didn't know anything!"
“她媽一聽就來氣了， ‘還啥也不知道’，那不是傻子嗎！這可不行！我得找小黃子問問，某家閨女啥時候得罪他啦！他找個傻子來埋汰某家閨女！’ 她媽說著，就找我的電話號碼。她爸覺著這事兒不對，就說，‘還是我給他打個電話吧’。劉健君她爸就跟我說，讓我想想，問問，‘過幾天你阿姨問你，怎麽回答；你得先了解了解情況。’”
"Her mom got angry when she heard, 'and knows nothing', that's not stupid! This isn’t right! I'll have to ask little Huang when our daughter offended him! He's found a fool to make dirty our daughter! As her mom said, looking for my phone number. Her father thought that was not right, so he said, 'Let me call him’. Eve Liu's father then told me to think about it and investigate, 'How will you answer when your aunt asks you in a few days; you have to understand the situation first.'"
黃老師對我說：“你想想他們說的那話，你還說都是事實，那你是啥人！從東北大學四千研究生中找出個傻子來，很難！再說了，我這麽大個人埋汰她幹啥！你和她打架啦？”
Teacher Huang said to me: "Think about what they said, and you still say it's all true! It's hard to find a fool from the four thousand graduate students at Northeastern University! Besides, I'm a big guy like this, so what's the point of insulting her! Did you fight with her?"
我回答：“劉健君說的都是事實（參見7.3《相親》），但她根本就沒在意我，對我沒感覺，她怎麽可能被我氣哭了呢？”
黃老師說：“你是說，我說謊？”
I answered: "What Eve Liu said is true (cf. 7.3 Blind Date), but she didn't care about me at all and had no feelings for me. How could she be angry with me and cry?"
Teacher Huang said: "Are you saying that I lied?"
我回答：“我沒說你說謊。”
黃老師說：“這事是她爸爸告訴我的，那是她爸爸說謊？”
I answered: "I didn't say you lied."
Teacher Huang said: "Her father told me this, so her father lied?"
我回答：“她爸爸編這謊言的可能性不大。”
黃老師說：“那這事就是事實。她沒對你生氣，那她對我生氣了？”
I answered: "It is unlikely that her father made up this."
Teacher Huang said: "Then this is the fact. She is not angry with you, so she is angry with me?"
我們談了很長時間，我認為我和劉健君隻是通常的處對象，見了幾麵，不合，分手了，這事沒爭議。
黃老師認為劉健君是對他不滿意了，在整他。我很詫異：“她整你？”
黃老師看著我認真地說：“劉健君那丫頭可不一樣！你不能用通常人的認識來看她！”
We talked for a long time. I think Eve Liu and I are just ordinary lovers. We met a few times, didn't get along, and broke up. There is no dispute about this.
Teacher Huang thought that Eve Liu was dissatisfied with him and was bullying him. I was very surprised: "She was bullying you?"
Teacher Huang looked at me and said seriously: "Eve Liu is different! You can't look at her with the common understanding of people!"
一周後，黃老師又來找我說這事。他說他為此病了，說自己本來是四川農村來的一個義務兵，老校長對他一手培養提拔到將軍，卻從未求他做過別的事。二十幾年來，老校長就隻求他為劉健君介紹對象這一件事。結果這事越辦越糟糕，弄到現在反目成仇了。
A week later, Teacher Huang came to me again to talk about this. He said he was sick because of this. He said he was originally a conscripted soldier from a rural area in Sichuan. The old principal (Troupe Leader Liu) trained him and promoted him to a general but never asked him to do anything else. For more than 20 years, the old principal only asked him to introduce Eve Liu to a boyfriend. As a result, the matter got worse and worse, and now they have become enemies.
黃老師說：“老校長相信我不會做這事，可老頭子的身體不好，有病，不一定哪天就咽氣了。如果我現在不把這事查清楚，她爸爸死後，我們兩家就沒法相處了。” 他要再次調查我；區政府出麵為我調解打架的事，我怎麽會不記得呢！
我同意了。
Teacher Huang said: "The old principal believes that I will not do this, but the old man is in poor health and is sick. He may die one day. If I don't investigate this matter now, our two families will not be able to get along after her father dies." He wants to investigate me again; how could I not remember that the district government intervened to mediate the fight for me!
I agreed.
注解7.7，這事對我的人生有什麽影響？前文6.9《活見鬼》中描述了：因為那次關於黑社會的調查，至少兩年房產局的人不會給我介紹女朋友；在社會上，至少影響十年。就因為這調查，後文，我的導師告訴我： “你在東北大學是不行了！別著急，你的條件不錯，等以後到了工作單位，沒人知道這事了，介紹女朋友的人多的是！”
Note 7.7, How did this affect my life? Described in 6.9, "Seeing Ghost Alive”, because of that investigation about the black society, people in the Heping Housekeeping Bureau would not introduce me to girlfriends for at least two years; socially, it had an impact for at least ten years. Because of this investigation, later in the text, my mentor told me: "You won't make it at Northeastern University! Don't worry, you're in good condition, when you get to your workplace later, no one will know about this, and there will be plenty of people to introduce you to girlfriends!"
一年後，我被此事氣得發暈。那這事怎麽鬧得那麽大？比如說，劉團長找幾個人同時調查這事，他請沈陽市公安局長親自來到東北大學向我們的校長詢問，再請遼寧省科學委員會主任打電話給我們的係主任詢問。那我們的校長和係主任當然得調查，於是我在沈陽和平房產局與黑社會有聯係的事就傳到了東北大學。更大的問題是劉健君比黑社會的地位要高很多。那這，劉團長是在滋事？是的，本書的第七、八章就是講述劉團長和我打架，是我墮入地獄（即精神病）和劉團長死不瞑目的原因。
A year later, I was so angry about it. So how did it get so big? For example, Troupe Leader Liu got several people to investigate this at the same time, he asked the head of the Shenyang City Public Security Bureau to come to Northeastern University in person to ask our president about it, and then he asked the director of the Liaoning Provincial Science Committee to call our department head to ask him about it. Then, of course, our president and our department chairman had to investigate, and so the story of my contacts with the triads at the Shenyang Heping Housekeeping Bureau reached Northeastern University. The bigger problem was that Eve Liu was much higher up than the triads. So, this, Troupe Leader Liu is provoking me to fight with him? Yes. Chapters 7 and 8 of this book are about the fight between Troupe Leader Liu and me, the reason for my descent into hell (i.e., mental illness) and Troupe Leader Liu's death with eyes open.
7.8 你是誰？Who Are You?
一周後的一天，我的室友，那個來自國務院的警察（不記得他的名字了），問我：“你是誰？” 他問了又問。
我被問糊塗了，回答：“我現在真的不知道自己是誰了！”
One week later, my roommate, the policeman from State Council (I don’t remember his name anymore), asked me, “Who are you?” He asked again and again.
I was confused and answered, “I really don’t know who I am now!”
他大發感慨：“我一向認為自己是個合格的警察，對周圍的人了如指掌。今天在黃老師屋裏看了他們調查你的報告。他們正在匯總你的調查報告呢。我才知道，我對我同寢室住了半年的人都一無所知。”
He said with great emotion, “I always thought I was a qualified policeman and knew the people around me very well. Today I read their investigation report on you in Teacher Huang’s room. They are compiling their investigation reports about you. I realized that I knew nothing about the people who lived with me in the dormitory for half a year.”
注7.8-0，這位來自國務院的警察室友就是前文4.5節《真人醫學實驗的報紙新聞》中所說的維護這項醫學實驗的特殊警察，就是美國電影中直接執行總統命令的那種X-File警察。本書所研究的領域位於心理學和哲學之間，對應的警察部門就是國家安全局。這是個靈魂轉世實驗。劉團長讓他多次問我 “我是誰” 這個問題，就是讓我在寫回憶錄時意識到我要回答上帝的無字墓碑的問題，即回答上帝的 “我是誰” 的問題。本回憶錄的全書就是在係統地回答這個問題。
Note 7.8-0, this police roommate from the State Council is the special policeman who protects this medical experiment mentioned in Section 4.5 "News of Real-Life Medical Experiments", the X-File policeman who directly executes the president's orders in American movies. The field studied in this book is between psychology and philosophy, and the corresponding police department is the National Security Agency. This is a soul reincarnation experiment. By having him ask me the question, “Who am I?” so many times, Troupe Leader Liu was making me realize as I wrote my memoir that I had to answer the question of God's Wordless Tombstone, the question of God's “WHO AM I?” The whole of this memoir is a systematic effort to answer that question.
7.8-1 局長的臉 the face of bureau chief
我說：“我們家祖宗三代都是農村種地的，哪裏有什麽秘密可言！”
他問：“你說你們和平房產局是什麽地方？”
我回答：“我聽說，我們和平房產局很有名，在全國排名中是一百零幾。”
I said, “Our family has been farming in the countryside for three generations, so where are the secrets to be found!”
He asked, “What did you say about your Heping Housekeeping Bureau?”
I replied, “I've heard that our Bureau is very famous and is ranked one hundred and something in the whole China.”
他說：“行！你還知道你們局有名兒。我不想誤導你，你說的那個名兒是來自公安部的事故統計數字。公安部每年按地區、行業等分門別類地對事故做出統計。幾年的統計數據一起看，就會發現某些地區或行業圍繞著什麽利益有那麽一群人。那群人可能是有組織的，可能沒組織，也可能是有某種鬆散的聯係。你說你們房產局有什麽利益？”
He said, “OK! You still know that your bureau is very famous. I don't want to mislead you, the name you mentioned is from the accident statistics of the Ministry of Public Security. The Ministry of Public Security makes annual statistics on accidents by region, industry, and other categories. When you look at several years' statistics together, you'll see that certain regions or industries have that group of people around what interests them. That group of people may or may not be organized, or they may be loosely connected in some way. What interests would you say your Heping Housekeeping Bureau has?”
我回答：“我們局是沈陽最大的地主，有四千處房地產。”
他說：“對了！房地產有巨大的經濟利益。那你和他們是什麽關係？”
I replied: "Our bureau is the largest landlord in Shenyang, with 4,000 real estate properties."
He said: "That's right! Real estate has huge economic benefits. So, what is your relationship with them?"
我回答：“我和他們沒關係！”
他說：“連我這個外行人都看明白了！你看你的那些職位，你說你們局長一天都幹些啥！你不是你們局長的臉嗎！”
I replied: "I have nothing to do with them!"
He said: "Even an outsider like me can see it clearly! Look at your positions, what do your bureau chief do all day? Aren't you the face of bureau chief?"
我一想，真的！問：“怎麽回事？我一個大專剛畢業的，他們怎麽就要培養我當局長？”
他說：“我怎麽會知道！我在問你呢！你可把我嚇著了！”
I thought, really! I asked, "What's going on? I just graduated from college, why are they training me to be the bureau chief?"
He said, "How should I know! I'm asking you! You scared me!"
7.8-2 炮校的女婿 Son-in-law of the Artillery School
國務院警察室友又問我：“你說黃老師那群人是什麽人？”
My roommate, the policeman from the State Council, asked me again, “Who do you think Teacher Huang’s group is?”
我回答：“聽我舅舅說，這個炮校本來是一九三幾年的延安炮校。解放後，東北的GDP約占全國的三分之一；其中，遼寧占了四分之三。那時候，大炮、雷達和導彈都是高科技。毛主席把這個炮校（即沈陽炮兵學院）安排在了沈陽，就是把屁股坐在沈陽了。我舅舅還說，老沈陽人都知道，沒人敢惹他們。他們一出動，總是一群一群的，一出來就是上百人。欸！你看他們，真是一出動就是一群一群的；來念研究生，一來就來了三五十個。”
I answered, "My uncle told me that this artillery school was originally the Yanan Artillery School in the 1930s. After liberation, the GDP of Northeast China accounted for about one-third of the country's total; Liaoning accounted for three-quarters of it. At that time, artillery, radar, and missile were all high-tech. Chairman Mao arranged this artillery school (i.e., Shenyang Artillery Academy) in Shenyang, which meant he had his butt in Shenyang. My uncle also said that old Shenyang people all knew that no one dared to mess with them. When they went out, they always came in groups, with hundreds of people at a time. Hey! Look at them, they really go out in groups; when they come to study for graduate degrees, there are thirty or fifty of them at a time."
室友說：“啊！他們這夥人叫炮校，我才知道。根據你舅舅說的和我看他們調查你的那種方式，我判斷這夥人比你們房產局還出名，排名應該是三十多。”
我驚訝了：“我舅舅說沈陽有兩夥人，另一夥人是我們和平房產局。我是怎麽搞的！”
My roommate said, "Ah! I just knew that this group of people is called the Artillery School. Based on what your uncle said and the way I saw them investigating you, I judged that this group of people is more famous than your Heping Housekeeping Bureau, should be ranked in the top 30."
I was surprised: "My uncle said there are two groups of people in Shenyang, and the other group is our Heping Housekeeping Bureau. How did I do it!"
室友問：“你和黃老師是什麽關係？他怎麽那麽喜歡你？”
我回答：“沒什麽關係。你來之前，他的室友踢水房的門，把我的眼眉骨撞傷了，害得我疼了幾個月。他對我有些歉意。”
My roommate asked, "What is your relationship with Teacher Huang? Why does he like you so much?"
I answered, "Nothing. Before you came, his roommate kicked the door of the bathroom and injured my eyebrow bone, which caused me pain for several months. He felt a little sorry for me."
室友想了想說：“這是一方麵。到這兒我就發現了，他看你的眼神不一樣。”
我回答：“他是想給劉健君找對象，喜歡觀察，喜歡農村人的樸實。”
My roommate thought for a moment and said, "That's one aspect. I realized here that he looks at you differently."
I replied, "He wants to find a boyfriend for Eve Liu. He likes to observe and likes the simplicity of rural people."
室友又想了想說：“還有別的。”
我說：“就是介紹個對象，素不相識的，還能有什麽！”
My roommate thought about it and said, "There are other things."
I said, "It's just to introduce someone to someone. We don't know each other, what else can it be!"
室友說：“他都調查你三次了。我看見了他們的材料，他那工作量可不小啊！你還說和他沒關係！”
我感覺奇怪：“我都讓你給說糊塗了！我是怎麽混的！怎麽和他們都扯上關係了！”
My roommate said, "He has investigated you three times. I have seen their materials. His workload is not small! And you still say you has nothing to do with him!"
I felt strange: "You have confused me! What did I do! How did I get involved with them!"
室友笑著說：“你想不出我今天的感覺。我以前在國務院，天天看公安部的報告，覺得我的工作挺有意思的。怎麽也沒想到，我到沈陽，一個住鄰居，一個住同屋。你們遼寧省，還就有這兩夥人。哎！你說十年以後，咱倆再見麵，說個啥？”
My roommate smiled and said, "You can't imagine how I feel today. I used to work at the State Council, reading reports from the Ministry of Public Security every day, and I thought my job was quite interesting. I never thought that when I arrived in Shenyang, one of them would live next to me, and the other would live in the same room with me. There are these two groups of people in your Liaoning Province. Hey! What do you think we will talk about when we meet again in ten years?"
我回答：“我和他們沒關係。說啥？青梅煮酒論桑麻！酸溜溜的，和今天說的一樣。”
室友說：“不一樣！到那時候，我心裏知道你是誰，幹什麽的；你心裏知道我是誰，做什麽工作的，心裏正在敲鼓呢！”
I replied: "I have nothing to do with them. What are we talking about? Drinking wine and talking about mulberry and green apricot! It's sour, just like what we talked about today."
My roommate said: "It's different! By then, I know who you are and what you do; you know who I am and what I do, and you are beating a drum in your heart!"
我說：“你還要約談我！我可沒那個榮幸。”
室友叨咕：“十有八九，到時候你就知道了！”
I said, “And you're going to interview me! I don't have that honor.”
My roommate chimed in, “Nine times out of ten, you'll find out then!”
我驚訝地問：“怎麽會十有八九呢？”
室友不高興地說：“我差啥呀！也是根紅苗正，博士畢業！將來，就不能當個小官兒啥的！也出來活動活動！”
I asked in surprise, “How can it be nine out of ten?”
My roommate said unhappily, “I'm not that bad! I'm also a correct stalk with red root, graduated with a doctorate degree! In the future, can't I become a small official or something! Be able to move around too!”
我說：“啊！你能！但我當不上什麽老舵把子！”
室友笑著說：“什麽事，最終都落實在人才！我真沒看出你哪裏特殊，可我能看出他們都看中你了，還跑了你了！”
隨後，我對此事想過多次，想不出個所以然。
I said, “Ah! You can! But I can't be any old helmsman!”
My roommate laughed and said, “In the end, everything comes down to talent! I really don't see where you're special, but I can see that they've all got their eyes on you! You can’t get away with them!”
Subsequently, I have thought about this matter many times, can not think of a reason.
7.9 第三次調查核實 Third Survey Verification
第二天的下午，黃老師找我核實他的第三次調查。他根據前兩次的調查記錄，把調查工作分成了三部分，三夥人同時進行。關於和平區政府派人來調解我和畢姐打架的事是他們調查的重點之一。那時，說是畢姐去找四個年青的美女來扒光我的衣服，然後押著我裸體遊街。同事們害怕了，就讓我回去東北大學躲開了。
In the afternoon of the second day, Teacher Huang approached me to verify his third investigation. Based on the records of the first two investigations, he divided the investigation into three parts, with all three groups working at the same time. The matter about the Heping District government sending someone to mediate the fight between Sister Bi and me was one of the focuses of their investigation. At that time, said Bi sister went to find four beautiful young women to strip my clothes, and then escorted me naked parade. Colleagues are afraid, let me go back to Northeastern University to avoid.
黃老師問：“可事後，你還是聽說了。你的那位畢姐坐在大街上哭，幾千人圍觀，最後怎麽結束的？”
我回答：“我聽說，畢姐坐在大街上哭；很長時間，誰也勸不好。人們對局長說，你得想想辦法，公安局很快就該來找我們了，咱們阻礙交通了。局長到畢姐的旁邊小聲叨咕，‘小畢你知道不？就在剛才，你差點兒壞了我的大事！’ 說完，他就回局裏去了。過了一會兒，畢姐忽然不哭了，問，局長說什麽了？人們告訴了她，她聽後就不哭了，站起來就回家了。”
Teacher Huang asked, "But you still heard about it afterwards. Your sister Bi sat on the street crying, with thousands of people watching. How did it end?"
I answered, "I heard that Sister Bi sat on the street crying for a long time, and no one could persuade her. People said bureau chief that he had to think of a way, because the Police Bureau would come to find us soon, and we were blocking traffic. The bureau chief came to Sister Bi and whispered, 'Little Bi, do you know? Just now, you almost ruined my plan!' Then he went back to the bureau. After a while, Sister Bi suddenly stopped crying and asked, ‘what did the bureau chief say?’ People told her, and she stopped crying after hearing it, stood up and went home."
黃老師問：“怎麽你們局長的大事還和你有關係？”
我回答：“人們都琢磨了，怎麽咱局長的大事還和我盧岩有關係？沒人明白，我不知道。”
黃老師笑著，轉到背後，彎腰幹什麽去了（注1）。我沒注意到他的奇怪舉動。
Teacher Huang asked, “How come your bureau chief's big plan still has something to do with you?”
I replied, “People have wondered how our bureau chief's big affair has something to do with me Adam Luyan. No one understands; I don't know.”
Teacher Huang smiled, turned around, and bent over to do something. I didn't notice his strange behavior.
注7.9-1，他轉身去幹什麽了？後麵的談話中，他的室友哭著和他爭吵，他認為是他們的調查報告毀壞了劉健君六年的戀愛生活。他的室友哭著告訴我：“他趁你沒注意，轉過身去樂！他為什麽樂成那樣兒了？他認為這次劉建君要倒黴了！” 作者盧岩現在認為黃老師高興的原因是這樣的。劉團長在對盧岩下死不瞑目的詛咒，就是他後半生三十幾年一直在背後幫助盧岩，隻求盧岩回報一件事，娶他女兒劉建君為妻。在和平房產局期間，劉團長做了很多工作，幫助盧岩，盧岩得要知道，記著那些恩惠，那他的死不瞑目詛咒才有效。通過本文的問答，黃老師發現盧岩知道和平房產局發生的事，而且不知道背後的主使者是劉團長。也就是劉團長在和平房產局對盧岩的做法取得了完全的成功，所以他高興，禁不住地笑。
Note 7.9-1, what did he do when he turned around? In the following conversation, his roommate cried and argued with him. He believed that their investigation reports had ruined Eve Liu's six-year love life. His roommate cried and told me: "He turned around and laughed while you were not paying attention! Why was he so happy? He thought Eve Liu was going to be in trouble this time!" The reason author Luyan now thinks Teacher Huang is happy is this. Troupe leader was using “Die with Eyes Open” to curse on Luyan, that is, the second half of his life for more than thirty years has been behind the scenes to help Luyan, only asking Luyan in return for one thing, to marry his daughter Eve Liu as wife. During the period of the Heping Housekeeping Bureau, Troupe Leader Liu did a lot of work to help Luyan, Luyan must know and remember those favors, then his curse of “Die with Eyes Open” will be effective. Through the questions and answers in this article, Teacher Huang found out that Luyan knew what happened at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau and doesn't know that the mastermind behind it is Troupe Leader Liu. That is, Troupe Leader Liu's approach to Luyan at the Heping Housekeeping Bureau was a complete success, so he was happy and couldn't help but laugh.
黃老師的室友問他：“那你派去他們公司調查的人怎麽說的？”
黃老師對我說：“我從軍區裏找了幾個職業的調查員。他們人多，有十多個人，到你們公司後就分別去了各個科。你們公司的人說，別人區政府都調查了，就沒調查盧岩。盧岩！這事區政府為什麽出麵？為什麽沒人問你？你聽說了嗎？”
Teacher Huang's roommate asked him, “So what did the people you sent to investigate their company say?”
Teacher Huang said to me, “I got a few professional investigators from the military district. There were many of them, more than a dozen, and when they arrived at your firm they went to each section. The people in your company said that all other people district governments have investigated, but not Luyan. Luyan! Why did the district government intervene in this case? Why didn't anyone ask you? Have you heard?”
我回答：“我聽說了。在我這事的一年前，我的那個職位也是個大學剛畢業的，他被局裏的那群女人扒光了衣服。聽說，那人受到了刺激（輕度精神病），市工會把他安排到別的地方去了。那個案子還沒處理完，我的事就發生了。這事就被和平區工會報告給了市工會。市工會的人生氣了，報告給了一位副市長，還說：‘這觸犯刑法了，你們把責任推脫給我們，我們處理不了。這次，你們和平區的區長自己立刻組織人調解。如果盧岩被嚇著了（注2）。我們出麵把你們和平區政府告上法庭。’和平區政府就立刻派出了一位區長出麵調解。”
I answered, "I heard about it. A year before my case, the person who held the same position as me was also a recent college graduate. He was stripped naked by the group of women in the bureau. I heard that the man was stimulated (mildly mentally ill), and the city labor union arranged for him to work somewhere else. That case had not been handled yet when my case happened. The Heping District Labor Union reported this to the Shenyang City Labor Union. The City Labor Union people were angry and reported it to a deputy mayor, saying, 'This violates the criminal law. You are pushing the responsibility onto us, and we cannot handle it. If Adam Luyan is frightened (Note 2). We'll take your Heping District Government to court.’ The Heping District government then immediately sent a district governor to mediate.”
我繼續說：“他們找到了我們的科長付國青。付科長說，這調解的目的是別讓小盧被嚇著了。盧岩不知道，也不懂，所以他不害怕。如果你們調解，給他講明白了，反倒是嚇著他了。所以，他們就告訴所有人，誰也別和我說這事。”
I continued, “They found our section chief, Guoqing Fu. Fu said that the purpose of this mediation was not to let Luyan be scared. Luyan doesn't know and doesn’t understand, so he's not scared. If you mediate and make it clear to him, it will scare him instead. So, they just told everybody, nobody talks to me about this.”
注2，受驚嚇與精神病相關，這在精神病學中被譽為鐵律。這次調查核實後，我確實想起了那事，後怕！我清晰地記得，此次談話後，我就又有了被劉建君創傷後的精神病人的感覺。那時我不懂，2014年，寫回憶錄時，才懂的。
Note 2: Being frightened is related to mental illness, which is known as an IRON LAW in psychiatry. After this investigation and verification, I did remember that incident and was scared! I clearly remember that after this conversation, I felt like a mental patient who had been traumatized by Eve Liu. I didn't understand it at the time, but I understood it in 2014 when I was writing my memoirs.
黃老師說：“可你還是都知道了，怎麽沒當回事呢！”
我回答：“要不是你告訴，我沒認為這事兒有多少是真的！”
Teacher Huang said: "But you knew everything, why didn't you take it seriously?"
I replied: "If you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have thought much of it was true!"
調查核實結束時，黃老師說，因為他們的調查報告，劉健君從開始就因為這次打架的事對我產生了誤會，該怎麽辦？我這時想起她就全身難受（注，被劉建君刺激傷了），回答：“過去，就讓它過去吧！”
At the end of the investigation, Teacher Huang said that because of their investigation report, Eve Liu had misunderstood me from the beginning because of the fight. What should I do? I felt uncomfortable all over when I thought of her (note, I was traumatized by Eve Liu), answered: "Past! Let it go!"
黃老師就和他的室友吵起來了：這可怎麽跟那老公姆倆（劉健君父母）說！黃老師的室友哭著抱怨：“咱這三次調查盧岩，三個報告中的三個人，現在看起來都不是盧岩！那咱們以前的那些報告呢！？劉健君，年青人多做些談戀愛的工作沒什麽大不了的，咱們把她的青春耽誤了！”
Teacher Huang quarreled with his roommate about what to say to the old couple (Eve Liu's parents)! Teacher Huang's roommate cried and complained, “We've investigated Adam Luyan three times, and the three people in the three reports all don't look like Luyan now! What about our previous reports? Eve Liu, it's no big deal for young people to do more work on love affairs, we've ruined her youth!”
7.10 父母和她吵 Parents Quarrel with Her
隨後的一天中午，我在黃老師的屋裏一邊吃飯，一邊說話。他說：“這些天，劉健君他們家那架打得才熱鬧呢！被她爸媽罵得一聲不吭。”
我說：“說說就行了唄！怎麽還能打架這些天呢？”
The following day at noon, I was eating and talking in Teacher Huang’s room. He said, “These days, the fights in Eve Liu’s family are intense! She was scolded by her parents without saying a word.”
I said, “Just talk about it! How can they even fight these days?”
黃老師說：“她都多大了，這個不行，那個還不行，這對象咋找哇！得給她留下個教訓。”
我問：“他們是怎麽教訓她的？”
Teacher Huang said, “How old is she, this isn’t right, nor that, how can she find a boyfriend! Must teach her a lesson.”
I asked, “How did they teach her a lesson?”
黃老師說：“她媽說她，‘你看人行；你看人比和平房產局局長都厲害。人家局長說，盧岩和人成事，什麽事發生了，有他在，我放心！讓你一看，愣子！人家局長是啥人呐！他看人還能錯！再說人家那是多少人開會研究出來的。這對象還怎麽找！算了，別找了！’”
Teacher Huang said, “Her mom said her, 'You are good at looking people; you identify people better than the chief of Heping Housekeeping Bureau. The bureau chief said, ‘Luyan unites people and establish affairs, what happened, have him in, I am at ease! Let you look, a Dumb! What kind of person is the Bureau Chief! He can still see people wrong! Besides, that is decision many people have met and studied? How can we find a boyfriend! Forget it, don't look for him anymore!”
我問：“那劉健君說啥？”
黃老師說：“劉健君一聲不出，啥話也不說。這我看著才好笑呢！”
I asked, "What did Eve Liu say?"
Teacher Huang said, "Eve Liu kept silent, didn't say a word. I looked it funny and amusing!"
我指著黃老師，黃老師一躲，像小孩似的，說：“你這人咋幸災樂禍呢！”
黃老師說：“六、七年了，她可把我欺負苦了。我這還是頭一次，借你的光，贏了。”
I pointed at Teacher Huang, who ducked, like a child, and said, “Why are you gloating!”
Teacher Huang said, “For six or seven years, she's bullied me hard. This is the first time I've ever, by your light, won.”
我對這話不理解，問：“借我的什麽光？我怎麽感覺不到！”
黃老師說：“那你說，你和劉健君的事咋辦？”
I didn’t understand what he said, so I asked, “What light are you borrowing from me? Why can’t I feel it?”
Teacher Huang said, “Then tell me, what are you going to do about your relationship with Eve Liu?”
我說：“我和她早就分手了！過去就過去了！”
黃老師和室友商量了一下，說：“劉健君那麽說你，說你傻，像小孩兒似的，你就不生氣？”
I said, “I broke up with her a long time ago! Let bygones be bygones!”
Teacher Huang discussed it with his roommate and said, “Eve Liu said that about you, that you're stupid, like a child, and you're not angry?”
我說：“人家在自己家裏愛說什麽說什麽！我和她不相關，大街上遇見了，根本就不認識對方。你們要是不說，我根本就不知道，跟你們生氣才對！”
I said, “People say what they like in their own homes! I'm not related to her, we met on the street, we don't even know each other. If you guys hadn't said anything, I wouldn't have even known, and it's only right to be angry with you!”
黃老師叨咕：“她媽說，這都不行！看來盧岩是被她給整傷了，沒有她那樣的，見麵就諍。人家剛見麵都是說些簡單輕快的話，讓對方感覺舒適。她可好，一點兒麵子也不給留！”
Teacher Huang muttered, “Her mom said, this is not even acceptable! It seems that Luyan has been hurt by her. Nobody like her, expostulating whenever meeting. People just met are saying some simple and light words to make each other feel comfortable. But she, left others no little face!”
我聽了後，能感覺到被劉健君刺激得全身沉重和傷痛，覺得她媽可真是個體貼人的女人，被感動得幾乎哭了。
After listening to it, I could feel the heaviness and pain all over my body caused by Eve Liu. I thought her mother was such a considerate woman, and I was so moved that I almost cried.
7.10-2
這個話題黃老師說了又說，一次，黃老師一說，我轉身就走了。
我的室友，國務院警察，回來問我：“好好地說話呢！你怎麽就不高興，走了呢？”
Teacher Huang talked about this topic again and again. Once, when Teacher Huang talked about it, I turned around and left.
My roommate, the State Council policeman came back and asked me: "We were talking peacefully! Why are you so unhappy and leaving?"
我回答：“她們家打架與我有什麽關係！老說因為我，我聽了就全身不舒服。再說，事情都已經過去了，他們總是這麽說，我怕我會患單相思病。”
過了一會兒，他說：“你說得對，考慮你和劉健君以前的關係，她的話題對你不合適。他們是我的同學，我告訴他們，以後別在你麵前說她家的事了。”
I replied: "What does the fight in their family have to do with me! They always say it's because of me, and I feel uncomfortable all over. Besides, it's all over. They keep saying this, and I'm afraid I'll fall into the illness of unilateral love.”
After a while, he said: "You are right. Considering your previous relationship with Eve Liu, her topic is not suitable for you. They are my classmates, and I will tell them not to talk about her family in front of you in the future."
7.10-3
在這期間，（我的精神病潛伏症發展迅速）。我接觸的房產局那幫人，隻是和平房產局的一些小人物，但讓我感受到了“黑社會”。炮校，劉健君她爸可比和平房產局的人厲害很多，讓我感覺恐怖。博士生宿舍和其它的學生宿舍不一樣，這裏麵什麽人都有。
During this period, (my latent psychosis developed rapidly). The people in Heping Housekeeping Bureau that I met were just some small figures in the Bureau, but they made me feel the "mafia". In the Artillery School, Eve Liu's father was much more powerful than the people in Heping Housekeeping Bureau, which made me feel terrified. The doctoral dormitory is different from other student dormitories, there are all kinds of people in it.
那時，我哥哥是沈陽東塔機場的飛行員。他們機場距離沈陽炮兵學院（炮校）不遠。我和哥哥說起了炮校。
他說：“什麽炮校？我怎麽不知道！部隊裏，學校都是師級以上的單位。在沈陽，還在我們附近，如果有，我不可能沒聽說過。”
At that time, my brother was a pilot at Shenyang Dongta Airport. Their airport was not far from the Shenyang Artillery Academy (Artillery School). I talked to my brother about the artillery school.
He said, “What artillery school? How come I don't know! In the army, schools are all above division level. In Shenyang, and in our neighborhood, if there is one, there's no way I haven't heard of it.”
我說：“我聽王玉山大舅說過。沈陽是有這個炮校，這錯不了！”
哥哥想了一會兒：“有可能，解放初期，那些老功臣沒地方安排，就給他們個名頭，讓他們自己玩去吧！”
I said, “I heard from uncle Yushan Wang. Shenyang is there this artillery school; this can not be wrong!”
My brother thought for a while, replied, “It's possible that, in the early days of liberation, those old meritorious officials had no place to arrange for them, so they gave them a name and let them play on their own!”
7.10-4
一天，黃老師來到我的房間，我以為他又要撮合我和劉健君的事。他不好意思地說，他看常和我在一起的同學垢遵義不錯，問我他有沒有女朋友。我幫助黃老師介紹垢遵義給了劉健君。
One day, Teacher Huang came to my room, and I thought he was going to match me up with Eve Liu again. He said shyly that he thought Zunyi Gou, a classmate I often hang out with, was pretty good, and asked me if he had a girlfriend. I helped Teacher Huang introduce Zunyi Gou to Eve Liu.
過了一段時間，我和他在一起時，忽然想起了他和劉健君的事，就問：你和劉健君怎麽樣了？他轉身“蹭” 一下！跑啦！我不知道發生了什麽事，卻看到他到一邊閑逛去了。這我可生氣了。他回來後，我就刁難地說： “我也沒說什麽呀！我這當介紹人的就隨便問一下。” 他說：“老弟別介意，這是哥的錯！人家跟咱哥們可不是一個檔次的；哥哥這次可丟臉丟大了！以後千萬別再說她了！” 說完，他說有事，走了。
After a while, when I was with him, I suddenly remembered what happened between him and Eve Liu, so I asked him: “How are you and Eve Liu doing?” He turned around and ran away! I didn't know what happened, but I saw him wandering off to the side. This made me angry. After he came back, I said to him in a difficult way: "I didn't say anything! I was just asking casually as a matchmaker.” He said: "Don't mind it, brother, it's my fault! She is not on the same level as us brothers; I am so embarrassed this time! Don't talk about her again in the future!" After that, he said he had something to do and left.
我心想，“這劉健君可真厲害，怎麽把垢遵義刺激成這樣了；他還不如我呢！我沒被刺激得轉身就跑。”（那時，我還不知道，我已經被劉建君刺激瘋了）。
I thought to myself, "This Eve Liu is really amazing. How could she stimulate Zunyi Gou to this extent? He is not as good as me! I was not so stimulated that I turned around and ran away." (At that time, I didn't know that I had been driven crazy by Eve Liu).
一天，在走廊裏我遇到了黃老師，好奇地問垢遵義和劉健君的事。他一聽就不高興了，陰沉著臉，對我的意見很大。我說，那是你的主意，你跟我發脾氣幹什麽！他無可奈何地說，別說了，不行，那倆人沒的談！她還叨咕呢：東北大學也是個名牌大學呀，學生的素質怎麽都這麽差！
我聽了，感覺難為情，麵露慚愧。
One day, I met Teacher Huang in the corridor and asked him curiously about Zunyi Gou and Eve Liu. He was unhappy when he heard it, and his face was gloomy. He was very dissatisfied with me. I said, “that was your idea, why are you angry with me!” He said helplessly, “Don't say it, no, there is no point in talking about those two people! She was still mumbling: Northeastern University is also a famous university, why are the students’ quality so low!”
When I heard this, I felt embarrassed and ashamed.
黃老師看著我，歎了口氣，說：“你們都正常，是劉健君太聰明了，誰也騙不了她。她處了一百多個男朋友了，我們都看得清清楚楚。她以為自己對誰都挺好，可是那些男的，誰也受不了她的好，見著她就躲。有的，在街上遇見她了，假裝看不見，轉身就跑。這事，我和她爸媽都看得清清楚楚。就因為她的婚事，我們仨人早就有上吊、自殺的心啦！”
Teacher Huang looked at me, sighed, and said, "You are all normal. Eve Liu is too smart. No one can fool her. She has had more than a hundred boyfriends, and we can all see it clearly. She thinks she is nice to everyone, but those men can't stand her kindness and hide when they see her. Some men, when they meet her on the street, pretend not to see her and turn around, run away. Her parents and I saw this clearly. Just because of her marriage, the three of us have wanted to hang ourselves to commit suicide!"
注7.10-1，和第2章古代《桃花劫》中劉員外總是因為常公和桃花女打架類似，本文劉團長夫婦總是因為我盧岩和劉健君吵架，目的是確保讓她記住我，同時也在培養我的精神病潛伏症。
Note 7.10-1, like the ancient story of "Peach Blossom Catastrophe" in Chapter 2, where Publican Liu always quarrels with Peach Flower Girl because of Constant Fair; in this article, parents always quarrel with Eve Liu because of me, Luyan, to make sure she remembers me, and at the same time cultivate my latent mental illness.
7.11 性格互補 Complementary Personalities
在1996年夏的一天，食堂裏，我看見黃老師表情呆滯，就過去逗他：“給劉健君物色對象呢！看花眼了吧？”
黃老師瞥了我一眼，說：“工作丟了，心情還能好！”
One day in the summer of 1996, in the cafeteria, I saw Teacher Huang with a dull expression, so I went over to tease him: "You are looking for a partner for Eve Liu! Are you dazzled?"
Teacher Huang glanced at me and said: "I lost my job; how can I be in a good mood!"
我聽了一愣，說：“噢，貪汙受賄太多了!那你都躲到學校來了，它們還不依不饒啊！”
黃老師生氣地說：“前幾天，劉健君告訴她媽：‘以後別讓黃老師和盧岩給我介紹對象了，他們介紹的那些人都不行！’”
I was stunned and said: "Oh, too much corruption and bribery! Then you have hidden in the school, how come they still won't give up tracing you!"
Teacher Huang said angrily: "A few days ago, Eve Liu told her mother: 'Don't let Teacher Huang and Adam Luyan introduce me to boyfriend in the future, the ones they introduce are not good enough!'"
我聽了高興又好奇：“這裏麵怎麽還有我的名字呢？”
黃老師說：“劉健君就是這麽說的，她記性好。”
I was happy and curious: "Why is my name here?"
Teacher Huang said: "That's what Eve Liu. She has a good memory."
我和黃老師一邊吃飯一邊嘮嗑。他說：“都過去了，說那個沒啥用。我們都絕望了！”
我說：“咋還絕望了呢！她自己琢磨著，發現了，就自己改正了；不都說女大十八變嗎！”
Teacher Huang and I chatted while eating. He said, "It's all in the past. There's no point talking about that. We are all hopeless!"
I said, "Why are you hopeless? She figured it out, found it, and corrected it herself. Don't people say woman transform 18 times when they are growing up?"
7.11-2
黃老師說：“她們家又打起來了，她媽就罵她，‘那個盧岩的同學，人家黃老師在他的單位，和平區文化局，下屬學校，和東北大學研究生院，問了三十多人，都說是標準小夥兒。讓你一看，還不如一個愣仔（即盧岩）！這對象還咋找？不找了!’”
我說：“垢遵義可不傻，咋還出來 ‘不如一個愣仔’，這話了呢？”
Teacher Huang said: “Their family fought again, her mother scolded her, 'that Luyan's classmate, Teacher Huang asked more than thirty people in his working place, the Heping District Cultural Bureau, the subordinate schools, and the Graduate School of Northeastern University, all said he is a standard boy. Let you look, not as good as a dumb (i.e. Luyan)! How to find a boyfriend? Do not look for it!'”
I said, “Zunyi Gou is not dumb, how come out ‘not as good as a dumb’, this word?”
黃老師聽了，來興趣了，說：“沒人說垢遵義傻。借你的光，我得到了表揚！”
我好奇地問：“我哪裏有光？怎麽表揚你的？”
Teacher Huang got interested and said, "No one said that Zunyi Gou is a Dumb. By your light, I got praised!"
I asked curiously, "Where did I have the light? How did they praise you?"
黃老師說：“後來，她媽分析：垢遵義是個標準小夥兒，這肯定錯不了。她說他不如盧岩，那不是對盧岩有那麽一點兒好印象嗎！”
我琢磨了一會兒，說：“你這是在表揚我，還是在損我？誰能把隨口說話中的那一小點兒好感當好感！”
Teacher Huang said, “Later, her mom analyzed: Zunyi Gou is a standard young man, this is not wrong. She said he is inferior to Luyan, isn't that a good impression of Luyan!”
I pondered for a while and said, “Are you praising me, or are you undermining me? Who can take that little bit of favorable impression in casual speech as favorable impression!”
黃老師說：“我是在正經地說話。你可別小看這半句好話。自從我們開始給她介紹對象，到現在都介紹100多個了，就隻從你身上得到了這半句從字縫裏摳出來的好話。這我們就高興了。”
我回答：“我不認為這算好話；隻能算是有印象。”
Teacher Huang said, "I am speaking seriously. Don't underestimate this half-sentence of compliments. Since we started introducing her to potential partners, we have introduced more than 100 people to her, and you are the only one who got her this half-sentence of compliments. We are happy about this."
I replied, "I don't think it is a compliment; it is just a little good impression."
7.11-3
黃老師說：“對！就是有半點兒好印象！她還不用我給她介紹對象了！你不知道，五六年了，我和她爸媽，還有幾個別人，我們就一起研究她，研究怎麽給她介紹對象。從開始我就買書看，研究怎麽看人，怎麽進行婚姻搭配。跟你這麽說吧！雖然我這個東北大學的博士學位還沒拿著，要是有婚姻介紹的博士學位，那我早就得著了。我那心得呀！早就夠編一本書的啦！”
我說：“舉個例子聽聽。”
Teacher Huang said, “Right! It's just half a good impression! She doesn't need me to introduce her to anyone anymore! You don't know, for five or six years now, her parents and I, and a few other people, we've been studying her together, studying how to introduce her to someone. I've been buying books since the beginning, studying how to read people, how to make marriage matches. Let me put it to you this way! I haven't gotten my doctorate from Northeastern University yet, but if Northeastern University had a doctorate in marriage introduction, I would have gotten it a long time ago. I'd have gotten a doctorate in marriage introduction! I could have written a book about it!”
I said, “Give me an example.”
黃老師說：“就說你和劉健君吧。我們發現了六個方麵你和她互補。”
我問：“什麽互補？”
Teacher Huang said: "Let's talk about you and Eve Liu. We found six aspects in which you complement each other."
I asked: "What complements?"
黃老師說：“要說夫妻百年好合，它得夫妻雙方都有對方喜歡的優點。你學習不好，從小就喜歡好學生；劉健君是個好學生。就這一點，你們倆在一起，你就總喜歡她，她幹啥錯事兒，你都能原諒她；這，一輩子不變。”
Teacher Huang said: “To say that the couple is good for a hundred years, it must be that both husband and wife have the advantages that the other likes. You do not study well since childhood, like good students; Eve Liu is a good student. On this aspect, the two of you together, you always like her, she did what wrong, you can forgive her; this, the same for life.”
我問：“其他方麵呢？”
黃老師搖頭：“我不告訴你！”
I asked: "What about other aspects?"
Teacher Huang shook his head: "I won't tell you!"
7.11-4
沉默了一會兒，黃老師說：“找對象是關係一輩子幸福的大事，有知識的人要全麵地分析。你得從一輩子的時間上來考慮。你說啥叫少年夫妻老來伴兒？”
我回答：“我說不好，你說吧！”
After a moment of silence, Teacher Huang said, "Finding a partner is a major event that affects your lifelong happiness. Knowledgeable people should analyze it comprehensively. You must consider it from a lifetime perspective. What do you say of young couples and old companions?’"
I replied, "I can't explain it, tell me!"
黃老師說：“夫妻老了，互相是個說話的伴兒。如果夫妻沒有共同語言，那就不是伴兒了。就劉健君那個知識水平，那個脾氣，到頭來是孤家寡人，身邊連個說說知心話兒的人都沒有。”
Teacher Huang said: "When a couple grows old, they are companions for each other to talk to. If a couple has no common language, they are not companions. With Eve Liu's level of knowledge and temper, she ended up being a lonely woman without even someone to intimately talk to."
我說：“你怎麽就那麽肯定，人都在變。”
黃老師說：“我當然肯定，不肯定我不說。這個，她就不變，誰能受得了她呀！你能受得了。”
I said, "How can you be so sure? People are changing."
Teacher Huang said, "Of course, I am sure. If I am not sure, I won't say it. Well, she won't change. Who can stand her? You can stand it."
我說：“誰都受不了；我能受得了，我咋就那麽能忍呢！”
黃老師說：“你是那性格。”
I said, "No one can stand it; I can stand it. How can I be so tolerant?"
Teacher Huang said, "You have that kind of personality."
我說：“我是啥性格？我就能受氣？”
黃老師說：“這我們都看得好好的了。你們倆剛好般配，誰也不吃虧，誰也不占便宜。你比她長得好那麽一點點兒；可她比你聰明。”
I said, "What kind of personality do I have? Can I bear being bullied?"
Teacher Huang said, "We can see this clearly. You two are a perfect match, neither of you will suffer a loss, and neither of you will take advantage. You are a little bit better looking than her, but she is smarter than you."
7.11-5
我說：“你活該！介紹人都是灶王爺上天，好話多說，壞話少說；好事兩頭傳，壞事兩頭瞞。你是怎麽介紹的！我就從來沒聽你說過劉健君一句好話，有你這樣的介紹人嗎！如果你告訴我：劉健君喜歡我。在我這方麵，感情培養得不就快！我對她的好感強，自然影響她。你說她對我有半點兒好印象，我怎麽可能做成功率這麽低的事。我得找個對我好感多些的來培養。”
I said, "You deserve it! The introducer is like the Kitchen God, who says more good things than bad things. It spreads the good to both sides and conceal the bad from either end. How did you introduce her? I have never heard you say a good word about Eve Liu. Is there an introducer like you? If you told me that Eve Liu liked me, then in my case, the relationship would be cultivated quickly! I have a strong liking for her, so it naturally affects her. You said that she had the slightest good impression of me, so how could I accomplish such a low success rate? I have to find someone who likes me more to cultivate."
黃老師嚴肅地說：“那話是你說的，不是我說的。我不在這裏麵添油加醋，有個梗就掭個葉兒。我隻是如實說實際發生了的事兒。這樣，假如有一天，你和劉健君之間發生了糾紛，後果都是由你們自己的決定造成的，與我無關。”
Teacher Huang said seriously, "You said that, not me. I won't exaggerate or make up stories. I just tell the truth about what happened. In this way, if there is a dispute between you and Liu Jianjun one day, the consequences will be caused by your own decision and have nothing to do with me."
我說：“我和她對麵不相逢，還能有什麽糾紛（注5）！？你連這麽點兒責備都不想擔，為什麽還要做介紹人？”
黃老師說：“我說假如有一天你和劉健君之間發生了糾紛。我可不是媒婆，是你們倆的長輩。我這樣對待你們，有益於你們的成長。”
我似有所悟。
I said, “She and I don't meet even when we face each other, what dispute can there be (Note 5)!? You don't even want to take so little blame, so why do you still want to be the matchmaker?”
Teacher Huang said, “I'm saying that if one day there is a dispute between you and Eve Liu. I'm not a grandma matchmaker, I'm the elder of the two of you. It's beneficial for you to grow up if I treat you this way.”
I seemed to be enlightened.
注7.11-5，我和劉健君之間有什麽糾紛？本書的7.3節《相親》，劉建君故意創傷了我，給我留下了精神病潛伏症（亦作腐屍蟲，蠱，雷音的惡魔）。本文黃老師正在重複刺激我，培養我的精神病潛伏症，即正在喂養我身體裏的腐屍蟲（蠱），送我去地獄（即患上精神病）。
Note 7.11-5, What is the dispute between Eve Liu and me? In section 7.3 of this book, “Blind Date”, Eve Liu deliberately traumatized me and left me with psychotic latent disorder (also known as carrion beetle, Thor’s Devil). In this article, Teacher Huang is repeatedly stimulating me and cultivating my psychotic latent disorder, i.e., he is feeding the carrion beetle (Thor’s Devil) in my body to send me to hell (i.e., suffering from psychosis).
7.12 百變神通 Hundred Godly Transformations
崔鳳龍姨父給我講過，百變神通是一種古代說書人的職業技能。表演者在台上作一百個動作，觀眾可能看成幾十個人物。這在現實生活中會產生什麽效果？
一天晚上，宿舍對門的韓華偉告訴我，黃老師找我有事，讓我在宿舍門口等他。我自己站在宿舍門口對麵的路邊等了20多分鍾。
Uncle Dragon once told me that Hundred Godly Transformations is an ancient storyteller's professional skill. When a performer makes a hundred movements on stage, the audience may see them as a few dozens of characters. What effect does this have in real life?
One evening, Huawei Han, who was across the corridor from the dormitory room, told me that Teacher Huang was looking for me and asked me to wait for him at the dormitory entrance.
忽然看見他和一對兒三十多歲的男女（人物一）從宿舍樓口出來了。我追了過去。他們三個看見我跑過去，站住了，麵對我。
黃老師給我介紹說：“這是我們學校的老師，孩子在本院上一年級，學習忙，沒時間回家；他們就過來看孩子了。”
I stood on the curb opposite the dormitory entrance and waited for more than 20 minutes. When I suddenly saw him and a pair of men and women in their thirties (Character 1) coming out of the dormitory building. I ran after them. The three of them saw me running to them and stood still, facing me.
Teacher Huang introduced me, "This is a teacher from our school, the child is in first grade at this institution, is busy with his studies and doesn't have time to go home. They came over to see the child."
我尷尬地抬頭看XXX，四十多歲（人物二；即劉團長，劉健君她爸，這時他應該約66歲），高個子，尖下頜，筆直地站在那裏看著我。她媽對他說話。她媽穿著件花色衣服，三十多歲。她爸大笑著走動了，到我的跟前，落了個前式（險些向前摔倒）。我過去扶他，距離他的側臉很近，我看見他是個七十多歲的老人（人物三）。他起來了，五十多歲的人（人物四）。我們說了幾句話，她媽拉她爸，要離開，倆人都是不到四十歲（人物五）。他們倆像似情人一樣打鬧著，接著倆人各舉起一隻手，十指相扣（如圖7.12-1），像似熱戀的情人一樣，離開了。
I looked up awkwardly at XXX, in his forties (Character 2; i.e., Troupe Leader Liu, Eve Liu's father, who would have been about 66 years old at this point), tall with a pointed jaw, standing straight and looking at me. Her mom spoke to him. Her mom was wearing a floral dress and was in her thirties. Her dad walked around with a big smile, came up to me and fell forward style (nearly falling forward). I went over to help him, close enough to the side of his face that I saw he was a seventy-something year old man (character 3). He got up, in his fifties (character 4). We said a few words and her mom pulled her dad, to leave, both under forty (character 5). The two of them jostled as if they were lovers, and then both raised one hand each, interlocked their fingers (see fig. 7.12-1), and left as if they were passionate lovers.
黃老師說他沒找我。我對韓華偉感到氣憤，走在宿舍的走廊裏，忽然覺得不對。我感覺剛才有很多人從我身邊經過，有些人是從樓的牆裏出來的，不知所終。我仔細地感知我的身體，沒有異樣；這說明我剛才沒有幻覺。我回到了剛才見麵的地方琢磨剛才發生了什麽事：人不可能從牆裏出來，這時也沒什麽人。
Teacher Huang said he didn't look for me. I was angry with Huawei Han, and walking in the corridor of the dormitory, I suddenly felt something was wrong. I felt that many people had just passed by me, and some of them had come out of the wall of the building and disappeared. I carefully felt my body, and there was nothing unusual; this meant that I didn't hallucinate just now. I returned to the place where we had just met and thought about what had happened just now: people couldn't come out of the wall, and there were not many people at that time.
注7.12，這件事迷惑了我20多年，2014年寫完回憶錄才分析出來，他們是劉健君的父母，有男神和女神的外貌（參見11.4.1節色蘊中的極略色）。劉團長是講故事的演員出身，由於他有男神的外貌，所以練成了百變神通。那時是傍晚，天色是灰色的。這種灰色的天色下，無意識不抓取事物的特征。我的無意識沒有抓到他們倆的特征，而是被他們的特征性舉止誤導了，所以隨著時間的推移，把他們倆當成了一群人。
Note 7.12, this case has puzzled me for more than 20 years. I only figured it out after I finished writing my memoirs in 2014. They are Eve Liu's parents, who have the appearance of God and Goddess (see the “Extremely Abstract Colors” in Section 11.4.1). Troupe Leader Liu was originally a storyteller. Because he has the appearance of a God, he has mastered the ability of “Hundred Godly Transformations”. It was evening and the sky was gray. In this gray sky, the unconscious does not grasp the characteristics of things. My unconscious did not grasp the characteristics of the two of them, but was misled by their characteristic behaviors, so as time went by, I thought they were a group of people.
那時，我是研究生一年級。從我剛進入中學，高中，和大學都有奇怪的事發生來看，他們是來為我慶祝上研究生的，並且為我表演了百變神通。另外，劉團長還給了我一個祝福：他們倆心心相印的扣手（如圖7.12-1）是佛教中歡喜佛的象征。劉建君的父母在祝福我和劉建君“十全十美，百年好合”（即歡喜佛，如圖2至4）。
At that time, I was a first-year graduate student. From the strange things that happened when I just entered middle school, high school, and college, they came to celebrate my admission to graduate school and performed “Hundred Godly Transformations” for me. In addition, Troupe Leader Liu also gave me a bless: the two of them holding hands with ten fingers Interlocked (as shown in Figure 7.12-1) is a symbol of the Consummation Buddha in Buddhism. Eve Liu’s parents are blessing me and Eve Liu “ten aspects perfection, 100 years good match”, that is, the Consummation Buddha (as shown in pictures 2 to 4).
