己所欲，也勿施於人

己所欲，也勿施於人

Do Not Impose What You Desire Upon Others

我們都有這樣的經曆：常把自己喜歡的東西推薦給別人，認為別人也一定喜歡。

We all have such experiences: we tend to recommend what we like to others, assuming they must

like it too.

我們愛吃火鍋，就理所當然地以為別人也愛吃；其實，不少人並不習慣與人共食一

鍋。

We love hot pot and naturally assume others do as well; yet many people feel uneasy sharing one

pot with others.

欺騙過別人的人，總懷疑別人也在欺騙他；信奉禮尚往來的人，也總以為別人必會

同樣回報。

Those who have deceived others often suspect others of deception; those who believe in reciprocity

assume others will always return the favor.

心理學稱這種“己所欲，強加於人”的現象為投射效應——即人們往往站在自己的

角度，想當然地認為別人也會作出與自己相同的反應、選擇或行為。

Psychology calls this phenomenon “projection”—the tendency to assume that others will think,

feel, and act as we do.

《莊子》中有一個寓意深刻的故事：堯巡視華山，華封人祝他“長壽、富貴、多男

子”，堯都辭謝了。封人問：“壽、福、多男子，人之所欲也；汝獨能不欲，何也

？”堯答道：“多男子則多懼，富則多事，壽則多辱。是三者，非所以為美德也，

故辭。”

There is a story in Zhuangzi: When Emperor Yao visited Mount Hua, a hermit blessed him with

“long life, wealth, and many sons.” Yao declined. The hermit asked, “Long life, riches, and

many sons—are these not what all men desire? Why do you refuse them?” Yao replied, “Many

sons bring many worries; wealth invites many troubles; longevity adds many shames. These are not

the marks of virtue—therefore I decline.”

我們常說“己所不欲，勿施於人”，這固然是為人處世的準則。然而，即使“己所

欲”，也不宜輕易“施於人”。

We often say, “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you.” Yet even

what we do desire should not be easily imposed upon others.

人的年齡不同，經曆不同，心理特征亦各異。即便是“福、壽、多子多孫”這樣的

好事，也未必人人渴望。

People differ in age, experience, and temperament. Even blessings such as longevity, wealth, or

many descendants may not be everyone’s wish.個人都是獨立的個體。

Each of us is an independent being.

我想，未必他人所想；我為，未必他人所為。

What I think may not be what others think; what I do may not be what others do.

Never think or act as though others would think or act the same way.