幾則笑話

那天在美國雜誌上看到以下幾則笑話，很幽默，特翻譯給大家分享：

1. My wife and I hate raking leaves. I leaned on my rake, looked gloomily at the task before me and commented, "I'll bet every leaf for miles has blown into our yard."
"They should," she replied. "They know where they're safe."

我的妻子和我都不喜歡清掃落葉。我靠著我的掃耙，沮喪地看著我麵前的任務，說道:“我敢打賭，數英裏內每一片葉子都被風吹進我們的院子裏。” 　　
“他們應當如此,”她回答道。“他們知道哪兒安全。”

2. While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room.  As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent.  Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel.  My mom makes me ride in the stroller, too."

當我坐在醫生的接待室時，一個女士推著坐在輪椅的年長男士進了屋子。她走到櫃台前，男士則孤獨又安靜地坐在那裏。我正想我應該與他閑聊幾句，一個小男孩脫離他母親的膝頭，走到輪椅邊。他把手放在那人手上，說:“我知道你的感受。我媽媽也讓我坐在手推車裏。”

3. My friend Bob insisted his wife was getting hard of hearing.  One night he walked into the kitchen as she was making dinner, her back to him, and said, "Peg, whatcha making?"  No response. 
He tried again, a little louder. "Peg! Whatcha cooking?"  Again, no response.
Bob shook his head.  Poor thing just couldn't hear him.  As loud as he could, he shouted, "Peg!  What are you cooking?"
Peg turned around, exasperated. "For the third time, Bob, I said chicken."

我的朋友鮑勃堅持認為他的妻子聽力有問題。有一天晚上，他走進廚房，他妻子正背對著他在做晚餐。他問:“帕戈，你在做什麽？”沒有任何回應。　　
他又試了一次，大聲一點。“帕戈，你在做什麽菜？” 還是沒有任何回應。　　
鮑勃搖了搖頭。可憐的人，聽不到他的聲音。他盡可能大聲地喊道:“帕戈，你在做什麽菜？”
帕戈轉過身，惱火地道：“第三次了，鮑勃，我說雞肉。”

4. Politicians are like geometry.  They know all the angles and talk in circles.

政客們如同幾何學。他們知道所有的角度；他們說話繞著圈子。


下麵這則是哈城好友今天電郵給輕舟的，也很有趣。。。可見中國同音（諧音）字泛濫和方言多樣性，容易產生誤會，因此多了笑話：

人口普查

昨天快下班時接了一個電話，是個女的打來的。
「你好，我是人口普查員，請問你家是幾口人？」
我答：「我家是一口人。」
普查員：「十一口人？」
我說：「不是十一口人，而是一口人。」
普查員：「啊！二十一口？怎麽又變二十一口人了？」
我耐著性子說：「你聽錯了，其實一口人。」
普查員：「七十一口人？怎麽會那麽多啊？」
我終於爆發了，吼道：「就是一口人！」
普查員：「九十一口？天哪...... 」
我頓時崩潰。。。。。