一個要好的同事昨天上午給我發了個衛星預報圖（見下），因為本人的智商極地，根本就不懂上麵說了點什麽，還以為是屬於她經常發的一種笑話，於是假麽假式地回了郵件說： this is serious! 。到了下午不到 5 點，有個同事跑進我的辦公室說：我不想嚇唬你，但是聽說突尼斯南方來了一股特大風暴，已經造成了不少損失，大部分人都回家了，你也快點走吧。我一向珍惜生命，所以二話不說，收拾東西，風緊扯呼，順帶還讓門口的兩個幫我們幹活的當地小姑娘撤了。
回家的路上，車連車，車擠車，大家都非常緊迫地向家的方向奔，或至少我認為是向家的方向走。我艱難地在突尼斯的車海中左右躲閃，欲殺出一條血路。遠方深青的雲已經沉沉地壓了下來，這邊太陽光還微弱地照著，似乎在做最後的抵抗；風大了起來，吹得我的小車有點左右搖晃。我不確定到底是開著車窗好，還是關上。腦子突然很文學地來了句：山雨欲來風滿樓。不免有點洋洋自得，在這自救的時刻，還可以想起古詩詞。轉念之間又不肯定自己是否正確了：到底是“山雨欲來風滿樓”，還是“風雨欲來山滿樓”？人們常說“人是鐵飯是鋼。。。”，但是大學時有個能吃的朋友就堅決不同意，而且一口咬定大家誤傳了，正確的說法是“人是飯，鐵是鋼”。因為我從來分不清鐵和鋼的關係，所以我的反駁總是虛弱無力的。時間久了，自己也分不清到底那個是‘正確’的說法了。
類似的情況舉不勝舉，如左和右。上小學時分不清那個是那個，大姐教我：“左工，右口”。記了好多年之到現在還這麽用。英語的 left and right 使我的生活更加複雜；真正讓我絕望的法語的加入， gauche et droit 。特別是在給突尼斯的出租車司機指路時，我要先想左工右口，同時伸出左右兩條胳膊，確定那條是左、那條是右；再翻譯成英語，再翻譯成法語。出租車司機常常沒有耐心等我作完這些程序，就一邊開，一邊轉過來問我： madame, a droit ou a gauche? 他們這麽著急絕對是與事無補，隻能使我在慌亂中指錯方向，或象白癡一樣發呆。在單位，要好的同事久之都知道我不分左右，來家裏吃飯時，從來都不問我怎麽走，都去問那些住在我附近的人，或曾經來過的人。最深受我害的老公。給我指路時，不能用左右，也不能用東西南北，在著急的時候更不能和我急，不能問候雙方的老人，偏偏我還氣急敗壞地指責他說的不清楚。等兒子稍微大一點了，老公就完全放棄給我做任何解釋了，直接告訴兒子方向，由兒子指揮我勇往直前。人家是窮人的孩子早當家，我家是笨蛋的孩子早當家。
最可笑的這大風暴到底也沒有來。今天早上陽光燦爛，秋風徐徐，我穿上漂亮的套裝和在倫敦才買的時裝鞋來到單位．還沒有熬到中午呢，就發先外麵已經天黑了，走到窗前發現外麵已經是一片汪洋大海了，想起中午 Security Office 才發的警告，不知道自己到底在那裏比較安全。原來警告是真的呀。
（寫於 2009 年 10 月）
Flooding & Thunderstorms
If there’s a storm approaching, you should:
Go inside! If you can’t make it to a house or a nearby building, stay in your car and roll your windows up. If you’re not by a car, try to stay as low to the ground as possible. Avoid trees, fences, poles, or any other tall objects.
Avoid water. Do NOT take a bath or shower during a thunderstorm. Try not to turn on your water faucets and stay away from your sinks. Electricity, which comes from lightning, travels fast in water and in pipes.
Turn off your major appliances like your TV and air conditioner. Also avoid using a telephone, unless it is an emergency. Lightning travels fast in wires.
When flooding happens, here’s what you should do:
Go to higher ground immediately.
Do NOT try to drive through water, even if it’s not moving. You car can easily get swept away.
Before a flood happens, make sure you’re ready:
Do NOT keep valuable items and appliances in your basement. They could get ruined during a flood.
Have flood insurance.
Make sure your fuse box (or main breaker) and utility meters are raised above the flood level in your home. Water and electricity don’t mix.
Tornadoes
What is a tornado?
A tornado is funnel-shaped air that is formed by clouds coming into contact with the ground. This funnel is spinning violently, with winds at speeds of up to 300 miles per hour! For this reason, tornadoes can cause a lot of damage, injury, or death. They can even pick up a car or a house!
A tornado is caused by a severe thunderstorm. If there is a thunderstorm in your area, listen to the radio to find out if there’s a tornado watch or warning. There also might be an emergency service announcement in your area.
If there is a tornado watch, you should:
Listen to your local radio stations or watch your local news to find out more.
Stay alert. Keep your eyes and ears open for strong winds, blowing debris, and other signs that a tornado is coming.
Protect windows and glass in your house. If you have storm shutters, use them. Otherwise, you can use wood to board up your windows.
When there’s a tornado warning and a tornado is striking your area, here are some things you should do:
Find shelter. Go to your basement. If you don’t have a basement, go to the lowest point of your house or go to a room or hallway that doesn’t have windows. As a last resort, get under heavy furniture and stay away from windows. If you’re outside and can’t find shelter, try to find the lowest point in the ground, such as a ditch.
If you are told to evacuate, do so immediately .
