盧岩回憶錄
本人的回憶錄，宗教文化
目錄 Catalog：1.4 井陽之災 Well-Sun Catastrophe；1.4.2 守靈 Spirits Keeping；1.4.3 第二次婚禮 Second Wedding
武大郎到家後的第二天，張家就收到了國王派人送來的信，同意潘金蓮向武大郎提出的退婚請求。禮敬公和張夫人（又名媽祖）向武大郎征求意見。武大郎向父母請求由他自己去送退婚協議書。張夫人同意了。
The day after Martial Big Wolf arrived home, the Zhang family received a letter from the king agreeing to Goldthread Pan’s request to break off the engagement with Martial Big Wolf. Publican Etiquette Salutation and Mrs. Zhang (aka. Mazu) asked Martial Big Wolf for his opinion. Martial Big Wolf asked his parents to let him deliver the agreement to break off the engagement himself. Mrs. Zhang agreed.
1.4-2
武大郎到了山東省清河縣井陽岡後，住在了潘家的附近，然後就開始糾纏潘金蓮。他所做的第一件事就是在躺著看書的潘金蓮的鞋子裏放了隻章魚（如圖1.4-1）。窗台上那隻在笑的貓代表 “飛天貓” 武大郎。 “飛天貓” 是他的養父梁子伯，作為江洋大盜的綽號。到了重慶之後，他本性不改，繼續偷，武大郎就跟著學。後來，武大郎也跟著飛天貓去偷東西，所以他的養父，華國的國王，決定接他回國。武大郎還去潘金蓮的臥室，等潘金蓮睡著了之後，他就往她的被窩裏放癩蛤蟆，蛇等惡心人的動物。她擅長奇門遁甲，設置各種陷阱來抓住武大郎，可是武大郎不上當。
After Martial Big Wolf arrived at Well-Sun Gang, Cristal River County, Shandong Province, he lived near Pan's family and began to harass Goldthread Pan. The first thing he did was to put an octopus in Goldthread Pan's shoes while she was lying down reading a book (as shown in fig. 1.4-1). The laughing cat on the windowsill represents "Sky Flying Cat" Martial Big Wolf. “Sky Flying Cat” is the nickname of his adoptive father Zibo Liang, a notorious thief. After arriving in Chongqing, he did not change his nature and continued to steal, so Martial Big Wolf followed him. Later, Martial Big Wolf also followed Sky Flying Cat to steal things, so his adoptive father, the King of Hua, decided to take him back to his country. Martial Big Wolf also went to Goldthread Pan’s bedroom, and after Pan fell asleep, he put toads, snakes and other disgusting animals in her quilt. She is good at the God’s shield and armor and set up all kinds of traps to catch Martial Big Wolf (as shown in fig. 6), but Martial Big Wolf doesn't fall for it.
潘金蓮喜歡裸睡。一天武大郎趁著她睡著的時候，悄悄地躺在了她的身邊。沒想到，他就睡著了。潘金蓮醒來後，發現她把武大郎抓住了，就要喊。武大郎說：“別喊衛兵！你沒穿衣服，讓別人知道了，不好！”潘金蓮覺著是那麽回事！於是她約武大郎到外麵比武，她要正大光明地抓住他。但是，第一次比武，潘金蓮輸了，還被武大郎搶去了一條絲巾。
武大郎拿著潘金蓮的絲巾，到處對人說，“潘金蓮是他的媳婦！”聽到的人不信，他拿出退婚協議書說，“我父母同意退婚，但我不同意。現在退婚協議書還在我的手裏，所以她仍然是我的媳婦！”
Goldthread Pan liked to sleep naked. One day, Martial Big Wolf quietly lay down beside her while she was asleep. Unexpectedly, he fell asleep. When Goldthread Pan woke up, she found that she had caught Martial Big Wolf, and she wanted to shout. Martial Big Wolf said, "Don't shout the guards! You are not wearing any clothes. If others know, it will be bad!" Goldthread Pan thought it was true! So, she asked Martial Big Wolf to fight outside, and she wanted to catch him publicly. However, in the first duel, Goldthread Pan lost and had her silk scarf snatched away by Martial Big Wolf.
Martial Big Wolf took Goldthread Pan's silk scarf and went around telling people, “Goldthread Pan is his wife!” When those who heard it didn't believe him, he took out the withdrawal agreement and said, “My parents agreed to withdraw from the marriage, but I didn't. Now the withdrawal agreement is still in my hand, so she's still my wife!”
潘金蓮聽到傳言後，帶著許多衛兵來到武大郎所住的客棧搶退婚協議書。單個衛兵打不過武大郎，衛兵們抽出了刀，要一起抓住武大郎。這時客棧的主人忽然說話了：“你們這麽多人打一個人，還都帶著武器！這不是比武，是在故意傷人！我已經報警了。現在官兵已經離這裏不遠了！” 潘金蓮就自己跟武大郎比武，結果被武大郎脫掉了一隻繡花鞋。這時，官兵到了，潘金蓮匆忙地離開了。
When Goldthread Pan heard the rumors, she brought many guards to the inn where Martial Big Wolf was staying to rob the withdrawal agreement. Individual guards couldn't beat Martial Big Wolf, so the guards drew their swords and wanted to grab Martial Big Wolf together. At that moment the owner of the inn suddenly spoke, “So many of you are fighting one man, and you are all armed! This is not a match; it's a willful wounding! I've already called the police. The officials are not far from here now!” Goldthread Pan challenged Martial Big Wolf to a duel, but Martial Big Wolf took off one of her embroidered shoes. Then, the police arrived, and Goldthread Pan left in a hurry.
武大郎拿著那隻繡花鞋對人顯擺說，“潘金蓮愛我，她故意給我留下了這隻繡花鞋，讓我注意到她的腳很好看！”他還邀請聽他說話的人去潘家喝他和潘金蓮結婚的喜酒。潘金蓮聽到傳言後，又來約武大郎比武，要贏回退婚協議書。這次武大郎把她綁起來了，問：“要怎麽樣你才肯嫁給我？”
潘金蓮回答：“我可以嫁給你，但你得先讓我射死你！”
武大郎同意了，“三天後的中午，我帶著退婚協議書和政府驗證過的生死狀，去你們家的練武場讓你射死！”
Martial Big Wolf took the embroidered shoe and showed it off to the people, saying, “Goldthread Pan loves me, and she left me this embroidered shoe on purpose, so that I would notice that she has nice feet!” He also invited those who heard him to go to Pan's house to drink the wedding liquor of his marriage to Goldthread Pan. When Goldthread Pan heard the rumors, she came back to ask Martial Big Wolf for a match to win back the withdrawal agreement. This time Martial Big Wolf tied her up and asked, “What will it take for you to marry me?”
Goldthread Pan replied: "I can marry you, but you must let me shoot you to death first!"
Martial Big Wolf agreed, "Three days from now at noon, I will bring the engagement cancellation agreement and a government-verified life-and-death certificate to your martial arts training ground and let you shoot me to death!"
三天後的中午，武大郎果然帶著退婚書和有官府印章的生死狀來到了潘家的練武場。據傳說，武大郎躲過了潘金蓮射他的前兩箭。然後潘金蓮拿出了一塊絲巾蒙住了自己的眼睛說，“我擅長夜射，我蒙眼後射得更準！”說著，她，“當”一聲把第三箭射在了旗杆的頂上。然後，她大喊：“怕死就趕緊滾開！你現在跑還來得及！”
武大郎回答：“我一直都站在這裏，沒動！”他的話音還沒消失，潘金蓮的第四箭就朝著他射過去了。然後，她問：“你死沒死？”沒人回答。
Three days later at noon, Martial Big Wolf did come to the Pan family's martial arts training ground with the marriage cancellation agreement and a government-verified life-and-death certificate. Legend says that Martial Big Wolf dodged the first two arrows that Goldthread Pan shot at him. Then Goldthread Pan took out a silk scarf and blindfolded herself, saying, “I'm good at night shooting, and I shoot more accurately when I'm blindfolded!” With that, she shot the third arrow at the top of the flagpole with a “Dang” sound. Then, she shouted, “If you're afraid of dying, get out of here! It's not too late for you to flee!”
Martial Big Wolf replied, “I've been standing here the whole time, I haven't moved!” Before his words died away, Goldthread Pan's fourth arrow was shot toward him. Then she asked, “Are you dead or not?” No one answered.
潘金蓮連問了幾次後，說：“你不回答我，那我就把眼蒙解開了，這場比武就結束了！”她以為武大郎已經離開了，就解開了眼蒙，向家裏走。可她猛然發現，武大郎被射中了，倒在了地上。那支箭在離他幾尺遠的地方，有血。潘金蓮過去查看。武大郎沒有呼吸和心跳。第四箭射在了他的鎖骨上，被他自己拔了下來。
潘金蓮以為武大郎被嚇暈了，趕緊搶救，無效。她就把他抱回了房間繼續搶救，仍然無效。潘家立刻請醫生對武大郎醫治了三天，仍然沒發現他具有活著的跡象，就派人向張家報喪了。
After asking several times, Goldthread Pan said, "If you don't answer me, I will remove the blindfold, and the duel will be over!" She thought Martial Big Wolf had left, so she removed the blindfold and walked home. But she suddenly found that Martial Big Wolf had been shot and fell to the ground. The arrow was a few feet away from him, and there was blood. Goldthread Pan went to check. Martial Big Wolf had no breathing and heartbeat. The fourth arrow hit his collarbone and was pulled out by himself.
Goldthread Pan thought Martial Big Wolf had fainted from shock, so she tried to save him, but it was ineffective. She took him back to the room and tried to save him, but it was still ineffective. The Pan family immediately asked a doctor to treat Martial Big Wolf for three days, but still found no signs that he was alive, so they sent someone to report the death to the Zhang family.
1.4-3 張夫人的決定 Mrs. Zhang's Decision
這時禮敬公患了重病，剛剛有好轉的跡象。郎中聽說了張家的情況後說，“如果現在告訴他關於武大郎過世的消息會導致他病情的惡化，七天之後，再告訴他，情況會好很多。張夫人決定遵從郎中的見議，所以她自己也不能去參加葬禮。她決定讓武二郎去；可她又覺得他辦事魯莽，脾氣暴躁，就決定讓張三郎陪他一起去。她還叮囑武二郎，做決定前，要和張三郎商量。
據傳說，井陽岡離張家很遠，這哥兒倆騎馬跑了很多天。
At this time, Publican Etiquette Salutation was seriously ill and had just shown signs of improvement. After hearing about the Zhang family's situation, the doctor said, "If you tell him about Martial Big Wolf's death now, his condition will worsen; if you tell him seven days later, the situation will be much better." Mrs. Zhang decided to follow the doctor's advice, so she herself could not attend the funeral. She decided to let Martial Second Wolf go; but she felt that he was reckless and had a bad temper, so she decided to let Third Wolf Zhang accompany him. She also told Martial Second Wolf to discuss with Third Wolf Zhang before making any decision.
Legend says that Well-Sun Gang was far away from the Zhang family, the two brothers rode for many days.
1.4-4 武大郎被下葬了Martial Big Wolf was Buried
二郎和三郎來到了潘家，知道了發生的事。當潘金蓮的父母知道了武大郎被射死的事後，害怕了，“禮敬公是夏國的重臣。他的二兒子武二郎，綽號二郎神，天生神力。我們家要被滅族了！”潘金蓮說，“我自己做的事，自己負責！”第三天她就和武大郎結婚了。然後，她把武大郎抱回了自己的房間，和他住在了一起。她每天都給武大郎喂藥（如圖3），還給他洗澡。十幾天後，親戚朋友們都來勸潘金蓮的父母，“可不能再讓潘金蓮這麽胡鬧下去了！你們倆得下定決心，為武大郎下葬！”結果，潘金蓮的父母就強迫她把武大郎給埋了。
武二郎對潘金蓮說，“我大哥已經告訴你了，我們的父母已經同意了你們的退婚請求，你沒必要射死他！”
潘金蓮回答：“我沒打算射死他！”
Second Wolf and Third Wolf came to the Pan family and learned what happened. When Goldthread Pan's parents learned that Martial Big Wolf was shot to death, they were scared, " Publican Etiquette Salutation is an important official of the Xia Kingdom. His second son Martial Second Wolf, nicknamed Second Wolf God, is born with godly strength. Our family will be exterminated!" Goldthread Pan said, "I am responsible for my own actions!" On the third day, she married Martial Big Wolf. Then, she took him back to her room and lived with him. She fed him medicine (see fig. 3) every day and bathed him. After more than ten days, relatives and friends came to persuade Goldthread Pan's parents, "You can't let her go on like this! You two must make up your mind to bury Martial Big Wolf!" As a result, Goldthread Pan's parents forced her, and buried Martial Big Wolf.
Martial Second Wolf said to Goldthread Pan, "My elder brother has already told you that our parents have agreed to your request to cancel the engagement, so you don't have to shoot him to death!"
Goldthread Pan replied, "I didn't plan to shoot him to death!"
這時，潘家的人放出了潘金蓮的坐騎，一隻吊睛白虎，張三郎被嚇得躲到了武二郎的身後。武二郎生氣了，過去三拳兩腳就把虎打死了。然後，他把虎的屍體扔到了院子的外麵。
張三郎說：“我想看看我大哥的屍體。”
潘家的人把武二郎叫到了一邊，說：“你三弟還是個孩子（注，這時張三郎，即燧人氏，太陽神，才14歲）。你大哥都已經死了半個月了，讓孩子看見不好！”
At this time, the Pan family released Goldthread Pan's rid, a white tiger with hanging eyes, and Third Wolf Zhang was so scared that he hid behind Martial Second Wolf. Martial Second Wolf got angry and beat the tiger to death with three punches and two kicks. Then, he threw the tiger's body outside the yard.
Third Wolf Zhang said, "I want to see my elder brother's body."
The Pan family called Martial Second Wolf aside and said, "Your third brother is still a child (note: at this time, he, aka. Flint Man was 14 years old). Your elder brother has been dead for half a month. It's not good for a child to see it!"
武二郎把張三郎拽到了一邊，問：“你認為咱大哥死的有問題？”
張三郎回答：“他們說，在過去的十幾天裏，潘金蓮每天給大哥喂藥，還給他洗澡。以前大哥對我說過，他在練習井陽功。我勸他不要練習那種邪教氣功，會導致井陽（注，井陽義為‘太陽掉井裏了’；亦作辟穀，佛教稱作長壽天，無想定，參見11.4.4.2-5節）。他回答，‘你還年輕，有許多事你還不懂！’大哥的命裏有‘井陽之災’。盡管大哥還活著的希望渺茫，我還是想親眼看看。”
武二郎和張三郎商量後，回來說：“我三弟要見我大哥最後一麵，就開棺讓他看！”
Martial Second Wolf pulled Third Wolf Zhang aside and asked, "Do you think there is something wrong with our eldest brother's death?"
Third Wolf Zhang replied, "They said that in the past ten days, Goldthread Pan fed our eldest brother medicine and bathed him every day. Our elder brother told me before that he was practicing Well-Sun Meditation. I advised him not to practice that evil Meditation because it would lead to Well-Sun (Note: Well-Sun means "the sun falls into the well"; aka. Closed Valley, fake death, State of God’s Dominance, and is called longevity sky, thoughtless stillness in Buddhism; see section 11.4.4.2-5). He replied, ‘You are still young, and there are many things you don't understand yet!’ Our elder brother has the ‘Well-Sun Catastrophe’ in his fate. Although there is little hope that our eldest brother is still alive, I still want to see it with my own eyes."
After discussing with Third Wolf Zhang, Martial Second Wolf came back and said, "My third brother wants to see my eldest brother for the last time, so open the coffin for him to see!"
1.4.2 守靈 Spirits Keeping
二郎和三郎跟著潘家的人來到了墓地。傭人們幾下就刨開了武大郎的墳。打開棺材後，武大郎像似睡著了一樣。三郎解開了他的衣服，發現傷口已經愈合了。人們就把他抬了回來。潘家找來了巫醫。巫醫也說武大郎是在辟穀（亦作井陽，去了長壽天了，參見11.4.4.2-5無想定），然後重新布置了靈堂。
武二郎和張三郎在靈堂守靈。潘金蓮來了，說是要給武大郎洗澡，換衣服。三郎默不作聲地出去了。過了一會兒，武二郎也出來了，對三郎叨咕：“我感覺我們為大哥守靈，就是防止大嫂害大哥，你怎麽出來了？”
Second Wolf and Third Wolf followed the Pan family to the cemetery. Servants dug open Martial Big Wolf's grave in a few strokes. After opening the coffin, Martial Big Wolf seemed to be asleep. Third Wolf Zhang opened his clothes and found that the wound had healed. People carried him back. The Pan family found a witch doctor. The witch doctor also said that Martial Big Wolf was fasting (i.e., well-sun, ascended to the longevity sky, see section 11.4.4.2-5 Thoughtless Stillness), and rearranged the mourning hall.
Martial Second Wolf and Third Wolf Zhang became spirits keepers at the funeral hall. Goldthread Pan came and said she wanted to give Martial Big Wolf a bath and change his clothes. Third Wolf went out silently. After a while, Martial Second Wolf also came out and muttered to Third Wolf: "I feel that we are spirits keepers for our elder brother to prevent older sister-in-law from harming elder brother. Why did you come out?"
張三郎回答：“我沒叫你出來。”
武二郎尷尬地說：“我這麽大個人怎麽看！你是小孩兒，沒事，你進去看著吧！”
張三郎去山頂的拱廊乘涼去了。
二郎和三郎看見潘金蓮離開了，又回到了靈堂，發現靈堂裏的氣氛確實好了很多。香的氣味改變了情緒。過了一會兒，潘金蓮又來了，說是要給武大郎喂藥。三郎表情嚴肅地看著潘金蓮，問：“大嫂！你要喂我大哥吃什麽藥？”
Third Wolf Zhang replied: "I didn't ask you to come out."
Martial Second Wolf said awkwardly: "How can I, a grown-up, see? You're a kid, it's okay, you go in and watch!"
Third Wolf Zhang went to the arcade on the top of the mountain to enjoy the cool air.
Second Wolf and Third Wolf saw Goldthread Pan leave and returned to the mourning hall and found that the atmosphere in the mourning hall was indeed much better. The smell of incense changed the mood. After a while, Goldthread Pan came again and said she wanted to feed Martial Big Wolf medicine. Third Wolf looked at Goldthread Pan with a serious expression and asked, "Sister-in-law! What medicine are you going to feed my brother?"
潘金蓮笑著回答：“辟穀藥（注，例如黃瓜汁）！看來兩位叔叔是不信任我呀！我試藥給你們看。”說著，她就一羹匙，一羹匙地喝那藥。
武二郎在一邊看著，著急地說：“你得給我大哥留點兒啊！”
潘金蓮展示了剩下的一碗底兒辟穀藥，然後說：“這點兒就夠他吃的。以前他隻能吃半羹匙。後來，我發現在喂他時，拍一拍他的後背，他能多吃些，能吃一羹匙。再多就不行了，他會吐出來。”
二郎和三郎聽後，又離開了靈堂。
Goldthread Pan smiled and replied, "Fasting medicine (note, such as cucumber juice)! It seems that the two uncles (note, in ancient China, sister-in-law calls her husband’s brother as uncle) don't trust me! I will try the medicine for you." As she said that, she drank the medicine spoonful by spoonful.
Martial Second Wolf watched from the side and said anxiously: "You should spare some for my elder brother!"
Goldthread Pan showed the remaining little bit of fasting medicine and then said: "This is enough for him to eat. He could only eat half a spoonful before. Later, I found that when I patted his back while feeding him, he could eat more, even a spoonful. More than that, he would spit it out."
After hearing this, Second Wolf and Third Wolf left the mourning hall again.
傳說說，就這樣好多天，武大郎像是睡著了似的，躺在那裏。一天武二郎等得不耐煩了，問三郎：“如果我離開了，你自己在這裏看著大哥，會害怕不？”
武大郎問：“你要去哪裏？”
這哥倆發現武大郎醒了，高興地問候。武大郎看著靈堂的環境，坐了起來，問：“這是哪裏呀？”他低頭看見了自己的衣服，問：“我怎麽穿著這衣服！？”
武二郎回答：“我和三弟來參加你和潘金蓮的婚禮，結果你就在婚禮上睡著了。這衣服是大嫂剛給你換上的新郎服！”
Legend says that for many days, Martial Big Wolf just lay there like he was asleep. One day, Martial Second Wolf got tired of waiting and asked Third Wolf, "If I leave and you stay here alone to watch over our older brother, will you be scared?"
Martial Big Wolf asked: "Where are you going?"
The two brothers found that older brother had woken up and greeted him happily. Martial Big Wolf looked at the environment of the mourning hall, sat up and asked, "Where is this?" He looked down and saw his own clothes and asked, "Why am I wearing this!? "
Martial Second Wolf replied, "Third brother and I came to attend your wedding with Goldthread Pan, but you fell asleep at the wedding. This is the groom's suit that our elder sister-in-law just put on you!"
武大郎掀開自己的衣服向裏麵看，看著看著，嚎啕大哭！武二郎驚訝地問：“大哥！你大難不死，是好事，你哭什麽？”
武大郎哭著說：“二郎你走到哪兒都受人矚目，占盡風光！你大哥我，走到哪兒都被人瞧不起！我就琢磨著，我結婚的時候，親朋好友們，怎麽著也得在我的婚禮上虛心假意地恭維我幾句，那是我這輩子唯一受人矚目的場合。結果我錯過了，我可能是這世界上唯一錯過了自己婚禮的人，我就是這麽地不幸！”
三郎說：“大嫂真漂亮！我都不敢看！” 二郎問：“你感覺你的身體怎麽樣？”
Martial Big Wolf lifted his clothes and looked inside. As he looked inside, he burst into tears! Second Wolf was surprised and asked, "Brother! It's a good thing that you survived a disaster. Why are you crying?"
Martial Big Wolf cried and said, "Second Wolf, wherever you go, you attract attention, and you are the center of attention! As your elder brother, I am looked down upon wherever I go! I was thinking that when I get married, our relatives and friends would at least give me some hypocritical compliments at my wedding, that is the only occasion in my life where I will be noticed. But I missed it. I may be the only person in the world who missed his own wedding. I am so unfortunate!"
Third Wolf Zhang said, "Sister-in-law is so beautiful! I dare not look at her!" Second Wolf asked, "How do you feel about your body?"
武大郎一邊笑，一邊說：“我感覺非常舒服，像似吃了一顆千年人參似的！”
這時，在門口的潘金蓮說話了：“你是吃了一顆千年人參！還剩點兒，我泡在酒裏了，我去給你取來！”
武大郎看著潘金蓮，連眼仁都在笑，接過千年人參酒就假裝喝。潘金蓮說，“你醒了，我立刻去通知廚房，給你做八寶通氣粥。”
武大郎看著潘金蓮離開了，放下了酒，感慨地叨咕：“我真是命大呀！連喝這個都沒死！”這時，武二郎端起了酒杯，嚐了一口說：“仙酒的味道確實不一樣！大哥，你不喜歡，我喝啦！？”
Martial Big Wolf while laughing and said, "I feel very comfortable, as if I had eaten a thousand-year-old ginseng!"
At this time, Goldthread Pan at the door spoke up, "You did eat a thousand-year-old ginseng! There is still some left, I soaked it in the alcohol, I'll go and get it for you!"
Martial Big Wolf smilingly looked at Goldthread Pan, took the thousand-year-old ginseng alcohol and pretended to drink it. Goldthread Pan said, "You are awake, I will immediately notify the kitchen to make you eight-treasure porridge."
Martial Big Wolf watched Goldthread Pan leave, put down the alcohol, and muttered with emotion: "I am so lucky! I didn't die even after drinking this!" At this time, Martial Second Wolf picked up the alcohol glass, took a sip and said: "The taste of the fairy alcohol is indeed different! Brother, if you don't like it, I will drink it!?"
武大郎站了起來搶奪回了酒杯，大叫：“你喝了之後就真成為二郎神了！像誇父似的，光著屁股追太陽來把它新陳代謝掉！”
這時門外一個老頭兒大笑著說：“我可不是在偷聽，是潘大小姐說，‘幾位少神都年輕力壯，可能都沒生過大病’，讓我來給張大公子說說大病初愈時的注意事項。”
當門外的老醫生被張三郎請進了靈堂後，說：“自我介紹一下，我家住鄰村聚賢莊，道號太乙。先做最重要的事，承接二郎神的福根！”說著，他把武二郎和張三郎茶杯的剩茶水倒進了一個杯子，然後用茶壺倒滿了杯子，遞給了武大郎。
Martial Big Wolf stood up and snatched back the glass, yelling, “You'll really become Second Wolf God after you drink it! Like Kua’fu, chasing sun with your bare ass to metabolize it away!”
At that moment, an old man outside the door laughed loudly and said, “I wasn't eavesdropping, it was Miss Pan who said, ‘Several young gods are young and strong, and probably none of you have had a serious illness.’ She asked me to give Public Prince Zhang a few words on what to do when recovering from a serious illness.”
When the old doctor outside the door was invited into the spirit hall by Third Wolf Zhang, he said, “I'd like to introduce myself. My family lives in the neighboring village of Gathering Sages, and my Daoist fame is Taiyi (i.e., strictly second). Do the most important thing first, undertake the fortunate root of Second Wolf God!” With that, he poured the leftover tea from Third Wolf and Second Wolf's teacups into one cup then filled the cup with the teapot and handed it to Martial Big Wolf.
武大郎瞪著大眼睛問：“那我為什麽要喝他們倆剩下的茶水？”
太乙真人回答：“有時候，拉肚子比拉不下屎好受一些！”
武大郎大口地喝下了剩茶水。
太乙真人說：“這就對了！過一會兒，等稀粥熬好了，你就盡量喝。隨後跟我做些不太雅觀的動作。看張公子的精神狀態，我估計不出六個時辰，您的胃腸蠕動就可以恢複正常。”
Martial Big Wolf stared with wide eyes and asked: "Then why should I drink the tea they left behind?"
Taiyi True Human replied, “Sometimes it's better to have diarrhea than to not be able to poop!”
Martial Big Wolf took a big gulp of the leftover tea.
Taiyi True Human said, “That's right! Later, when the thin porridge is ready, you'll drink as much as you can. Afterward, do some not-so-graceful moves with me. Looking at Prince Zhang's state of mind, I estimate that in less than 12 hours, your gastrointestinal motility will return to normal.”
1.4.3 第二次婚禮 Second Wedding
話說武大郎的胃腸蠕動在當天夜裏就恢複正常了。第二天這張家三兄弟和潘金蓮就騎馬向乾塘關家裏跑。剛進張家的聚居地，就發現人們的表情怪異。人們看見他們就躲。幾個人快馬加鞭，跑到了家門口，發現張家正在辦喪事，立刻變得心情沉重了。武大郎牽著馬向張家的主大廳走，問一個在掃院子的家人，“誰死了？”那人回頭一看，扔下掃帚就跑。整個張家都是死氣沉沉的。
It is said that Martial Big Wolf's gastrointestinal motility returned to normal that night. The next day, the three Zhang brothers and Goldthread Pan rode back home in Qian’tang Pass. As soon as they entered the Zhang family's settlement, they found that people had strange expressions. People hid when they saw them. They galloped to the door of the house and found that the Zhang family was holding a funeral. They immediately became depressed. Martial Big Wolf led his horse to the main hall of the Zhang family and asked a family member who was sweeping the yard, "Who died?" The man looked back, dropped his broom and ran away. The whole Zhang family was dead silent.
四人進了張家的主堂，看見喪禮已經辦完了，被祭奠人的牌位已經撤下了，但裝飾還都在。整個大堂裏就隻有張公（即禮敬公）像座雕像一樣坐在主牌位的旁邊。四個人在門口站住了，最後決定讓武大郎去近前說話。他走到張公的附近，說：“爹！我回來看您了！”
張公麵無表情地回答：“我知道了。”
武大郎問：“爹，您在想什麽呢？”
The four entered the main hall of the Zhang family and saw that the funeral had been completed. The tablet of the person being mourned had been removed, but the decorations were still there. In the entire hall, only Publican Zhang (aka. Publican Etiquette Salutation) was sitting next to the main tablet like a statue. The four stood at the door and finally decided to let Martial Big Wolf go closer to talk. He walked to the side of Publican Zhang and said, "Dad! I'm back to see you!"
Publican Zhang replied expressionlessly, "I know."
Martial Big Wolf asked: "Dad, what are you thinking about?"
張公回答：“我看二郎三郎也跟你來了，我怎麽也想不起來他們倆發生了什麽事？還有那位姑娘，好像是潘金蓮，她怎麽也跟你來了？”
武大郎明白了，回答：“他們三個人都活得好好的，回家來看您了，這很正常啊！”
張公說：“啊！就咱倆死了，他們沒死！所以他們說話，咱倆聽不見！”
武大郎說：“爹！我沒死，你也還活著。”然後他朝著他們三個喊道：“都快過來給爹磕頭，大聲說話！”
這時武大郎聽見媽祖坐在角門的地板上叨咕：“啊！都沒死，我也還活著！我說我怎麽想不起來我什麽時候死了呢！？”
Publican Zhang replied, "I see Second Wolf and Third Wolf are here with you, but I can't remember what happened with them. And that girl, I think she is Goldthread Pan, why is she here with you too?"
Martial Big Wolf understood and replied: "All three of them are alive and have come home to see you. This is normal!"
Publican Zhang said: "Ah! Only we two died, and they didn't! So, we couldn't hear them talking!"
Martial Big Wolf said: "Dad! I'm not dead, and you're still alive." Then he shouted to the three of them, "Come here and kowtow to Dad, and speak loudly!"
At this time, Martial Big Wolf heard Mrs. Zhang sitting on the floor of the corner door muttering, "Ah! You're not dead, and I'm still alive! This is why I can’t remember when I died!?"
武大郎走過去，激動地說：“媽！是您救了我啊！我在死之前還擔心呢：若是張三郎不來看我，我就被潘家活埋了！”
張夫人站起來扇了他一個大嘴巴子，憤怒地吼道：“就應該把你給活埋了，誰讓你裝死！？你爸爸差點兒被你整死！”
隨後，張家開始清理葬禮的裝飾，慶祝全家人的健康團聚和武大郎與潘金蓮的結合。開始吃飯沒多久，武大郎顯得不開心了，放下了碗筷，出去了。武二郎覺著有事，跟了出來，看見武大郎在哭，就問他為什麽哭？
武大郎回答：“媽媽打我了！”
Martial Big Wolf walked over and said excitedly: "Mom! You saved me! Before I died, I was worried: If Third Wolf didn't come to see me, I would be buried alive by the Pan family!"
Mrs. Zhang stood up and slapped him in the face, shouting angrily: "You should have been buried alive, who told you to pretend to be dead!? Your father was almost killed by you!"
Afterwards, the Zhang family began to clean up the funeral decorations to celebrate the healthy reunion of the whole family and the union of Martial Big Wolf and Goldthread Pan. Not long after the meal started, Martial Big Wolf seemed unhappy, put down his bowl and chopsticks, and went out. Second Wolf felt something was wrong, followed him out, saw him crying, and asked him why he was crying?
Martial Big Wolf replied: "Mom hit me!"
武二郎又問：“以前媽媽打過你多次，從沒見過你生氣；這次怎麽了？”
武大郎回答：“這次是在潘金蓮麵前，媽媽一點麵子也不給我留！”
武二郎立刻秘密地找張夫人匯報了，母子倆商量了一會兒，決定為武大郎和潘金蓮在張家舉辦第二次婚禮，而且告訴每一位被邀請的客人至少找出武大郎的一個優點來表揚他。
Second Wolf asked again: "Mom has beaten you many times before, and I've never seen you get angry. What happened this time?"
Big Wolf replied: "This time it was in front of Goldthread Pan, and Mom didn't give me any face at all!"
Martial Second Wolf immediately went to Mrs. Zhang to report the matter secretly. After discussing for a while, the mother and son decided to hold a second wedding for Martial Big Wolf and Goldthread Pan at Zhang's house and told every invited guest to find at least one merit in Martial Big Wolf to praise him.
傳說說，後來大巢氏（又名有巢氏，張大腳，王母娘娘）嫁過來張家沒多久就發現了潘金蓮和媽祖（即張夫人）的關係特殊。她問張屠戶（又名張三郎，燧人氏，炎帝，玉皇大帝）：“我不明白為什麽媽祖對潘金蓮那麽好？每次我送給媽祖禮物，她連看都不看，卻要看我送給潘金蓮什麽禮物。每次組織活動，我們得先問潘金蓮有沒有時間，因為若是她不來，那我們就都得跟著媽祖去看望她，問問發生了什麽事。她怎麽那麽特殊呢？”
Legend says that later, Big Nest (aka. Have Nest, Big Feet Zhang, King-Mother Queen) didn't take long to marry over to the Zhang family before she realized Goldthread Pan and Mazu had a special relationship. She asked Zhang the Butcher (a.k.a., Third Wolf Zhang, Flint Man, Yan Emperor, Jade Emperor, Sun God), “I don't understand why Mazu (i.e., Mrs. Zhang) is so nice to Goldthread Pan? Every time I give a gift to her, she doesn't even look at it, but she must see what gift I give to Goldthread Pan. Every time we organize an event, we must ask Goldthread Pan if she's available, because if she doesn't come, then we all must follow Mazu to visit her and ask what's going on. Why is she so special?”
