康拉德的憂傷我的憂傷（8）——那憂傷的象牙

（原創：靈隱士）

康拉德的憂傷我的憂傷（8）——那憂傷的象牙

  （'How did that ivory come all this way?' growled the elder man, who seemed very vexed. The other explained that it had come with a fleet of canoes in charge of an English half-caste clerk Kurtz had with him; that Kurtz had apparently intended to return himself, the station being by that time bare of goods and stores, but after coming three hundred miles, had suddenly decided to go back, which he started to do alone in a small dug-out with four paddlers, leaving the half-caste to continue down the river with the ivory.

  The two fellows there seemed astounded at anybody attempting such a thing. They were at a loss for an adequate motive. As to me, I seemed to see Kurtz for the first time. It was a distinct glimpse: the dug-out, four paddling savages, and the lone white man turning his back suddenly on the headquarters, on relief, on thoughts of home--perhaps; setting his face towards the depths of the wilderness, towards his empty and desolate station. I did not know the motive. Perhaps he was just simply a fine fellow who stuck to his work for its own sake.）

  “象牙是從哪兒來的呢？”“不就是長在大象頭上嘛。”以上是我的腦筋急轉彎。其實挺難搞，超麻煩，超危險，真的。

  翻譯如下：

  “你說這他媽的象牙到底是怎麽給弄到這裏的呢？”年長的那個壓著嗓子怒罵了一句，看起來煩惱得要死。年輕的那個開始解釋說來了一長遛木頭船，有個辦事員——一個一半英格蘭血統的人帶著隊，庫爾茨跟他一起過來的。看來很明顯庫爾茨事先就有著打算，打算好了自己一個人盡快能回去，原因可能是那時候貿易驛站已經沒有了現貨，也沒有了庫存。這個人說起來挺奇怪的，你辛辛苦苦奔了三百英裏遠道而來，也不休整一下，突然一下子馬上就要回去，重新擠在那個小小的木頭船裏，一個人帶著四個生兵蛋子蠻子槳手逆流而回，隻留下那個一半英格蘭種姓的家夥繼續帶隊象牙順流而下。

  “這事兒——有必要那麽急麽？”看來這兩個家夥對這事兒驚訝極了——真沒料到還有人敢這樣神操作。兩個人一片茫然，大眼對小眼，搞不懂人家為什麽要這樣幹——您的動機是啥呀？對我這個聽眾來說，這倒是第一次有機會了解到了庫爾茨。雖然驚鴻一瞥，卻是清晰明了：一隻簡陋的木頭船，命令四個蠻人劃槳，一個寂寞的白人，就這麽突然把腰一擰身體一轉，把自己的背對著公司的總部，背對著同胞的救援，也背對著自己朝思暮想的家鄉和親人，或許會這樣吧，或許隻是我的臆想而已。然後呢把自己的頭臉擺正，開始對著荒野那不見底的深邃，對著遙遠的，無比荒涼，現在空空如也的貿易驛站。是的我確實不知道這一切的動機是什麽——也許他就是一個大好人，作事簡單直接慣了，為了工作在堅守著自己的崗位，盡心而盡力，完全發自於內心的意願。”

  （The wilderness had patted him on the head, and, behold, it was like a ball --an ivory ball; it had caressed him, and--lo!--he had withered; it had taken him, loved him, embraced him, got into his veins, consumed his flesh, and sealed his soul to its own by the inconceivable ceremonies of some devilish initiation. He was its spoiled and pampered favorite. Ivory? I should think so. Heaps of it, stacks of it. The old mud shanty was bursting with it. You would think there was not a single tusk left either above or below the ground in the whole country. 'Mostly fossil,' the manager had remarked disparagingly. It was no more fossil than I am; but they call it fossil when it is dug up. It appears these niggers do bury the tusks sometimes--but evidently they couldn't bury this parcel deep enough to save the gifted Mr. Kurtz from his fate. We filled the steamboat with it, and had to pile a lot on the deck. Thus he could see and enjoy as long as he could see, because the appreciation of this favor had remained with him to the last. You should have heard him say, 'My ivory.' Oh yes, I heard him. 'My Intended, my ivory, my station, my river, my--'everything belonged to him.）

  是象牙？還是化石？——這是一個問題。隻不過在某些人眼裏，在攝奪象牙的人的眼裏，兩個意思是完全一樣，用不著區分。這語言真是有魔力的工具，經它一修辭果然高大上，讓人不得不佩服。是啊，珍貴的象牙大家都愛，如此之白，如此美麗，如此聖潔，難免帶點血腥——大象的，還有人的。你要想快、準、狠地搞到手裏，隻有一個辦法，就是血腥的辦法。

  翻譯如下：

  “荒野如同一隻手一般在輕輕拍打著他（庫爾茨）的腦門，看哪，這腦袋看上去就像是一隻球一般被玩耍著——一個象牙白的球體；這隻無形之手不停地愛撫著他——沒錯是這樣！於是他就像花朵一般在萎謝凋零。無形之手攝抓住他，深愛著他，擁抱著他，侵蝕進他的血管往四處流淌，消耗著他的肌體，就像借用著儀式在祈禱一般，引發出在他軀體之內的某種惡魔，接著把這種魔魂封印到自己的魂魄之中，合二為一。他變成了荒野心頭上的肉，精心嗬護著，嬌生慣養著，寵著。哦你在說象牙嗎？嗯我認為應該是。一堆堆的擺在地上，一摞摞的高高疊起來，多極了。那條古老，布滿淤泥，用於分流的水溝一時間被塞得要爆了。怎麽這麽多呀！你一定會認為這一整片土地上，不可能再有一根象牙留下了,不管地上還是地底下。“大多數應該稱為化石，”領頭的經理曾經這樣給過評價，他覺得稱之為象牙實在太高看它了。但是我不敢苟同，我看這東西挺年輕，不會比我更象化石。不過我說了不算，他們挖它出來就叫它化石。沒錯，大老黑們有時的確會把象牙埋起來——但是現在證據表明這批貨呢，他們埋得還是不夠深，所以命中注定躲不過天賦異稟的庫爾茨先生。我們把蒸汽船裝得滿滿的，就是甲板上也堆了挺多——地方小沒辦法呀。這樣還有一個好處，就是他（庫爾茨）能看到——隻是看到這東西對他而言就是一種享受，他呢，看到這種正能量他就會滿懷欣慰，已經養成了好習慣，怕是到死都難改。你應該聽他說過吧，“我~~~的象牙。”啊是的，我聽他這樣講過。“我的未來打算，我的象牙，我的貿易驛站，我的河，我的。。。。。。”——感情什麽東西都是他的。”

  （But there is no disguising the fact, Mr. Kurtz has done more harm than good to the Company. He did not see the time was not ripe for vigorous action. Cautiously, cautiously--that's my principle. We must be cautious yet. The district is closed to us for a time. Deplorable! Upon the whole, the trade will suffer. I don't deny there is a remarkable quantity of ivory--mostly fossil. We must save it, at all events--but look how precarious the position is--and why? Because the method is unsound.'
'Do you,' said I, looking at the shore, 'call it "unsound method"?' 'Without doubt,' he exclaimed, hotly.

  'Don't you?' . . . 'No method at all,' I murmured after a while. 'Exactly,' he exulted. 'I anticipated this. Shows a complete want of judgment. It is my duty to point it out in the proper quarter.'.）

  動嘴容易動手難。道理人人都會講——光講有用嗎？更何況是馬後炮。有的人總覺得自己眼光非常獨到，判斷力非常卓越，於是恍惚之間覺得自己與上帝同在，像這位領頭的經理。但是對大象來說，不管是庫爾茨的涸澤而漁，還是這位經理的“細水長流”，執行起來都是要命的。

  翻譯如下：

  ““要是揭開偽裝去著眼事實的話，庫爾茨先生的所作所為對公司來說，那造成的傷害一定大於做出的貢獻。他沒有看到現在時機尚不成熟，所以不能就這樣一股腦地猛幹。謹慎些，要謹慎些——這就是我的準則。我們一定要小心，萬事要小心，無論什麽時候，多麽小心都不過分。曾經有段時間，這塊地域跟我們距離近得快合到了一起。糟糕啊！因為整體長遠來看，這樣去操作貿易一定會受損。我不否認象牙的數量確實很多，多得驚人——哦，多數應該稱之為化石。可是我們必須省著點兒，任何情況下都要節省點兒——你看看我們現在所處的位置，這麽被動！友誼的小船說翻就翻，多不穩哪！——知道為什麽嗎？因為方法不靠譜，是野路子不對嘛。”

  “你的意思是說，”我盯著河灘的遠處，開了口，“是他用的“方法不靠譜”嗎？”“絕對是，毋庸置疑，”他一聲歡呼，情緒有點上頭了。

  “難道你不覺得嗎？”。。。。。。“我覺得啊，根本沒有啥方法可言，”我想了一會兒，輕輕地感慨出一句。“精辟極了，”聽到後他興高采烈一陣歡騰。“現在這種情況我以前倒是預估到了。這樣一看大家完全是需要我的判斷力呀，不服也不行。不過沒啥，這也正是我的職責，要為大夥兒指明正確的方位，應該的，你說對不對啊？””

  （She walked with measured steps, draped in striped and fringed cloths, treading the earth proudly, with a slight jingle and flash of barbarous ornaments. She carried her head high; her hair was done in the shape of a helmet; she had brass leggings to the knee, brass wire gauntlets to the elbow, a crimson spot on her tawny cheek, innumerable necklaces of glass beads on her neck; bizarre things, charms, gifts of witch-men, that hung about her, glittered and trembled at every step. She must have had the value of several elephant tusks upon her. She was savage and superb, wild-eyed and magnificent; there was something ominous and stately in her deliberate progress. And in the hush that had fallen suddenly upon the whole sorrowful land, the immense wilderness, the colossal body of the fecund and mysterious life seemed to look at her, pensive, as though it had been looking at the image of its own tenebrous and passionate soul.）

  “她”是原始村落的一名女巫，莊嚴神聖，可以代表眾人接觸上天。自從庫爾茨來到這裏，她起了變化——她的穿著變得華麗至極，於是在心裏覺得自己更加的神聖，更加的與眾不同。隻是這些外表的華麗不是輕易就能得到的，絕不容易。那是用象牙，用大象的生命，用人的生命——用村落的同胞，以及其他的村落，那些一樣黑色麵孔的生命所換來的。無比華麗，華麗極了，隻是除了華麗，她的眼裏還會在乎別的嗎？

  翻譯如下：

  “女人（女巫）行走著，一步一步好像精準地測量過，身上搭掛著條帶形狀，有著流蘇的服飾，她驕傲地踩著大地邁步向前，身上掛著的原始飾品叮鈴鈴，亮晶晶。她的頭顱高高揚起，頭發纏繞成頭盔的造型，腿上穿著緊身褲，青銅色，直到膝蓋，前臂上帶著同色係的線圈護腕，一直延伸到肘根，黃褐色的臉頰有一處猩紅之色，在脖子上掛著一條用透明珠子穿成的項鏈，這些東西蠻奇特的，看上去挺吸引人，應該是獻給女巫的禮物，現在穿戴在她的周身上下，每走一步都是顫顫悠悠，閃光發亮。這身行頭可不便宜，我看一定能值上好幾條象牙。她看上去野蠻十足，又超凡脫俗，眼神散發出狂野，而外觀又華麗無比，她的動作如此慎重，似乎在兆示著一種莊嚴，一種不詳。突然寂靜一下子就降臨到了這片悲傷的土地，四周一片沉寂。這片荒野天地無限，豐饒富足，身軀偉岸，包含著原始、神秘的生命。此時似乎也在注視著她，沉思著，仿佛看到了一張畫像，刻畫著自己的靈魂，沉鬱又熱情的靈魂。”

  好憂傷的象牙。好憂傷的大象。好憂傷的人命。其實大象跟人差不多——我本善良，懷璧其罪也。