《百萬富翁的免費食物》

 

12月份回國的時候，我找朋友豔推薦一本書路上讀。豔推薦了美籍韓裔作家Li Min-jin的《Pachinko》。這本書講述的是20世紀30年代到80年代末漂落到日本的一群朝鮮人幾代人的故事。正巧我的第一站是首爾，而且YY的房間裏有這本書，於是我帶它上了路。一開讀，便是欲罷不能。同行的小K已經讀過這本書，說我忘記了這本書是我曾經送給她的生日禮物，我是忘記了，但我的確喜歡選《紐約時報》的暢銷書當作禮物送人。小K說，YY也讀過這本書，但是YY更喜歡這個作家另外一本《Free Food for Millionaires》（“百萬富翁”）。我很喜歡Pachinko,所以非常好奇YY更中意的“百萬富翁”。於是從中國返程的路上，我開始閱讀“百萬富翁”。

讀完掩卷，我發現自己也跟YY一樣，更喜歡這一本。YY短信我，你為什麽喜歡？YY不太喜歡人寫很長的東西發給她，但我覺得隻總結一段話未免對這部好作品不夠尊重，於是我決定寫一頁紙，告訴跟書中女主角一樣畢業於藤校並曾經在華爾街投行拚打過、年齡相仿的YY，我的讀後感。沒有讀過這本書，會對我的濃縮版讀後感完全無感。我覺得很多年輕人，無論名校與否，出了校園，都經曆過迷茫。曾經的我也是如此。從我們記事起，一條路已經被父母規劃好，我們懵懂地走在路上一直到大學。然後出了大學，父母的翻雲覆雨手失去了控製力，自由的我們卻在自由的麵前迷茫了。路，該怎麽走？

YY的中文水平有限，所以我用英文寫了讀後感，回複了她的問題。

I enjoyed Free Food for Millionaires because the author portrays a deeply authentic character in a truthful way.

Unlike the sweeping, multi-generational scope of Pachinko, this novel zooms in on its characters, offering an intimate perspective. Casey, an elite graduate, wrestles with two diverging paths: one that society expects of someone with her credentials and another that speaks to her true desires but is constrained by her limited financial means and the biases of the elite world. She struggles between following the conventional route and defining a life on her own terms.

Casey is a gifted yet complex individual. She has an uncanny ability to visualize her future, and those mental images reflect her hidden fears, desires, doubts, frustrations, and defiance. Her decisions—deferring law school at Columbia, clashing with her father, breaking up with Jay, rejecting Sabine’s financial support, and seeking comfort in Hugh—are all unconventional choices, but they serve as outlets when her emotions spiral beyond her control.

The novel’s final scene is my favorite: Casey and Unu in Ella’s garden. Their brief dialogue, his gesture of framing the flower she chalked, and the way he gently lifts her by the wrists—it all conveys the author's deep sympathy for Casey. She has walked a winding road, torn between personal aspirations and societal expectations, often feeling lost, fragile, and rebellious. Unu, having endured his own painful journey between convention and self-discovery, understands her. He forgives her and, in doing so, finds peace within himself.

The title, Free Food for Millionaires, is also symbolic. The scene where wealthy bankers urge Casey to take the free food highlights a deeper theme: even the rich are not immune to feelings of insecurity and dissatisfaction.

When it comes to life choices, I tend to prioritize safety, while Dad prefers embracing a “splendid failure” at the expense of self-exploration. In the end, everyone must choose between a conventional path and one defined by personal exploration. Not uncommonly, some may wander between both, on and off.