暖冬cool夏
這裏一年四季溫暖如春，沒有酷暑沒有嚴寒......
前陣子又錄了一首K歌《青藏高原》。一個夏日炎炎的日子裏，百無聊賴的我把它貼上了微信的朋友圈。表姐聽了, 留言道，“歌收藏了，想你，就來聽你唱歌”。一個周末晚，表姐表哥在我父母家聚集聊天，表姐發來視頻，我的《青藏高原》在父母的客廳裏回蕩。
想起了自己的孩提時代，小學快畢業時差點被挑了去省越劇團唱戲的我，今日再聽自己的歌聲，思緒萬千。三四十年過去了，我的人生還有多少年？還有三四十年嗎？站在歲月的長河回望，歲月不就是一首歌嗎？唱走童年，唱走青春，唱著唱著就老了。從“一條大河波浪寬”到今日的《青藏高原》, 人生的路起起伏伏。還記得自己寫過一首詩《歲月如歌》，“歲月如歌，唱盡繁華落寞，再回首，月影斑駁”。
時光荏苒已遠去。早已不記得自己三四十年前的歌聲了，沒有錄音，甚至小學五年間連照片也沒有留下，隻有依稀的記憶，夾雜著父輩們的述說，帶著懷舊和幾分想象，填補著歲月的空缺。現如今，時代不同了，想唱就唱，想錄就錄。故就此再K歌一曲，讓漸漸老去的聲音刻在2018年的日曆上, 為著曾經心底的喜愛，這份歲月未曾全部抹去的激情，再引吭高歌。
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I was born into a teacher's family in the Cultural Revolution. My growth, likewise my Chinese name, is tinged with the imprint of its era. My father, a Chinese literature teacher, gave me a name that carries no slightest romance, feminine or delicacy for a girl, but a strong revolutionary connotation like hundreds and thousands of newborns at the time.
My hometown is nestled in a southeast part of China. Besieged by mountains on three sides, it has one opening to a big river flowing to the east. Unlike today, where the railroads sprawl nationally, transportations at the time were limited to buses, old shabby buses without air-conditioning. To get out of the place to the capital city, we would have to sit on the hard seats seven or eight hours in a broken-windowed bus, putting up with the heat in the summer, chill in the winter, dust in the dry season and mud in the rainy time, seeing the bus crankily crawl out of the zigzag mountain trails.
The 1970s witnessed a stagnant planned economy across the nation. Like most families, we lived a meager life in our childhood. Rice was not sufficiently supplied, and food stamps to buy fish, meat, and rice, were rationalized to each family (no peasants) as a control. I remember that Mom used to hoard the National Rice Stamp gingerly as a protection of any possible famine years. Hunger was not uncommon. Even when I was at middle school, I often found my stomach rumbling for food in the last classes of the morning.
Isolated and poor as it may sound, life then was mostly carefree. My father, mother, my brother and I lived for some years in a very small unit of about 10-20 square meters on the campus where Mom worked. Recalling the old days, mom would always say that I was a timid girl, who cried easily. But shy or timid I might be, I was often found sneaking out and dancing on tiptoes on the school platform alone, sort of self-taught ballet from what must have watched from the revolutionary opera “White Hair Lady”.
My interest in singing and dancing grew once I started my elementary school. I was a top performer, singing and dancing on stages as well as in fields. It culminated in my fifth grade when a few actresses from the Provincial Yue Opera Troupe came to seek for young candidates. After rounds of tests, I was selected as one of the only two girls in the whole county. Soon the news was spread on the grapevine. Walking on the streets, mom was stopped and congratulated on the rare opportunity of sending her daughter to the capital city of the province. But much to the townspeople's surprise, Mom and Dad turned it down for me. I only remember that mom asked me a couple of times, “Don’t you want to go to the famed West Lake?” Surely, it was not my decision, but my parents’, or to be more precise, it is the predestined fate that put me on a different orbit that parted me from being a Yue Opera singer.
No tapes or pictures have ever left behind to remind myself of how I sang and looked like at the time, except for the fading memory, and the tales from my parents or relatives. Entering the middle school afterwards, I was inundated with study, tests, and the college admission like the rest of us. Years later in mid 1980s, an opera movie《五女拜壽》was premiered, in which the other girl W from our county played a small role. Seeing her among the glamorous actresses in the big poster stung me, stirring up inside a mixed feeling of envy, regrets and longing. My love of singing was mired at the bottom of my heart ever since.
Almost forty years is past. With today’s technology and apps, taping and recording is made so handy and easy. Tuning to the familiar songs makes me not just reminiscent of my old days. The occasional singing from the voice hidden under the winkled neck evokes an undying love that has been etched in the bones.
一個發小，住我家緊隔壁。從小熱愛唱歌，天天練，外麵拜師，風雨無阻十幾年。23歲考上上海音樂學院女高音，一年隻受兩個學生。畢業進上海歌劇院當獨唱演員。後來辭職當手機品牌4S 店當總經理。同時自學十年考到律師資格，現在是事務所合夥人。唱歌的天賦，努力，熱愛，機會都有，最後還是放棄唱歌為主業。令人唏噓。
是不是我們每個人或多或少，或早或晚都要走一些彎路，看上去好像是浪費時間，其實是我們成長的必由之路。大概隻有所謂的大牌成功人士才能有眼光能一眼看到幾十年後，始終如一地孜孜不倦的努力吧。而我們總是歪歪扭扭地一路走一路學。我想隻要我們沒有辜負當下，我們也可以問心無愧了，暖冬你說呢？
英文回憶錄寫得很真摯，打動人心。隻能說你命中注定是出國走一條不一樣的路， 唱歌還是你心中的愛好而已。 我們可能都有一朵年輕時心中的玫瑰。。。
周末不爬山了，都幹些什麽呢？周末快樂！
雖然舞台的夢未竟，暖冬姐走的另一條路也有獨特的風景，自成一片康莊呢！閑暇之餘，想唱就唱，有我們欣賞鼓掌，也是一種圓夢！
一直怕自己說話太直了，是就是是，不是就不是，還真是會造成誤會的。你沒有誤解就好。謝謝迪兒留言，再祝一切安好！
我說我的結，也是和自己的經曆有關。以後有機會會和你交流的。
妹妹放心，和妹妹沒有任何心結的。
上一次妹妹貼歌，聽了，感歎妹妹音色好，音域寬。這一次聽，就想起了和妹妹上次的相見，心裏暖暖的。
你在燕麥兒那提到心裏有個結。對在乎的事，在乎的人，才會有結。我也有的，有些解了，有些還需要時間。
周末快樂！
暖冬的音質很好，青藏高原都能唱！厲害！
再次多謝韭菜美言！
問好暖冬，周末快樂！
尤其是這種偏Private的文章，不上更好，我更多的是想自己記錄。謝謝你喜歡英文部分，寫英文真是練習的，這種自傳體可以寫得更生動些。小時候的這件事其實對我有影響的，好像有個結一直沒有解開，直到2014年父母來此探親說起,母親的一句話“好在沒去啊，否則憑你的身高長相，最多隻能演媒婆丫鬟之類的”，真是一語中的啊。其實是命運。謝謝燕兒留言，問好！
“一個周末的晚上，表姐和父母聊天，我的《青藏高原》在父母的客廳裏回蕩”，好溫馨的場景，他們大概又提起了暖兒小時候的那段有趣的經曆吧。:-) 膽子小害羞，隻是表麵現像，骨子裏的暖兒，是那個在舞台上盡情地載歌載舞，樂於展示自己的女孩兒。
英文版本，以名字的由來開頭，切入的視角很有親和力，一下子就把人帶進了那個特殊的年代。尤其欣賞關於自然環境、生活狀況的描述，畫麵感很強。
哈哈哈，暖冬，我記得你前麵文章提到過，我還為你的文章沒有上首頁憤憤不平。
看來我還是小夥子，連壯年都不是。 you make my day.
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暖冬，有時，我也會有如此強烈的感受，我還有這麽長的人生歲月嗎？隨著年齡的增長，各種疾病也會隨之而來。但是不想了，過好生命中的每一天，盡量不要留下什麽遺憾，但是自己也覺得這也是句不能100%兌現的美好希望。
聽到了暖冬的聲音，我喜歡這嗓子比你年齡要年輕很多。 謝謝。
祝好
祝好