二六十 有生之年

    “爸怎麽樣了？”靄青問著喬治。
喬治搖搖頭，歎了口氣，也沒說話，去冰箱裏拿了兩瓶啤酒，遞給維克一瓶。
兄弟倆一模一樣的動作，仰頭咕嘟兩口，長長出氣，維克末了還打個響嗝。
靄青看了安妮一眼，“我有菊花茶，你要不要來一杯？”
安妮笑了一下，“我下班了，如果你們不介意，我喝瓶啤酒吧。”
靄青扭頭看喬治，“可以，沒問題。”
喬治話音未落，維克起身去拿回來三瓶，遞給安妮一瓶。
“安妮，”靄青問著護士，“我們晚上吃披薩，你留下來一起吧。”
安妮也不客氣，“我喜歡披薩，不過我吃的不多，”拍了拍屁股，“我在減肥。”
靄青微笑著點點頭，這麽壯實，減肥沒有必要，少吃點披薩倒是真的。
披薩是從當地有名的店裏點的外賣，半個多小時就送到家。
披薩是薄皮的，靄青點了五張，足夠幾個大人吃了。好幾種餡，傳統的pepperoni臘腸，全cheese芝士，夏威夷火腿菠蘿，BBQ雞肉番茄，地中海橄欖artichoke菜薊，美式大雜燴牛肉丸青紅椒番茄洋蔥。
喬治把披薩切成小塊，喂給羅絲，維克坐在媽媽的另一側，為羅絲擦嘴。靄青看著這哥倆伺候羅絲，唉，還挺孝順的。扭頭看看自己的兒子，傑傑手裏抓著一塊啃，滿臉的番茄醬，靄青掰散一個肉丸，塞進傑傑嘴裏，“傑傑多吃肉，趕快長大。”
傑傑聽的懂，嘴裏唔唔的嚼，雙手高興地在小食桌上敲，攥著的披薩滿天飛。
喜歡嘮叨的安妮自然沒閑著，沒人搭茬也能說下去，靄青出於禮貌，偶爾接一兩句。
吃完，大家挪步到客廳，羅絲回到沙發老地方，喬治和維克把吉他拿起來，給媽媽唱歌，安妮也坐下來聽歌，聽到熟悉的，也跟著唱，嗓子還不錯。
靄青有好久沒聽喬治唱了，今天他情緒有些低落，“在醫院給Tom唱過，現在給媽唱同樣的吧。”
這是一首老歌，靄青沒聽過，Second Chance再次，by 38 Special。
Since you been gone
I feel my life slipping away
I look to the sky
And everything is turnin' gray
All I made was one mistake
How much more will I have to pay
Why can't you think it over
Why can't you forget about the past
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down babe
Can't you see I love you
Since you been gone， I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
So this is love
Standing in the pouring rain
I fooled on you
But she never meant a thing
And I know I ain't got no right
To ask you to sympathize
But why can't you think it over
Why can't you forget the past
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down babe
Can't you see I love you
Since you been gone， I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
I never loved her， I never needed her
She was willing and that's all there is to say
Don't forsake me， please don't leave me now
A heart needs a second chance
Yeah， you been gone and I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
Please forgive me and forget it
I was wrong and I admit it
But why can't we talk it over
Why can't we forget about
Forget about the past
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
Don't put me down babe
You been gone， I've been in a trance
This heart needs a second chance
Don't say it's over
I just can't say goodbye
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
When love makes this sound babe
A heart needs a second chance
A heart needs a second chance
靄青知道了羅絲的過去，再聽這歌詞，不知道為什麽喬治要唱這首，是在替羅絲發聲給湯姆嗎？
是喬治一直糾結著媽媽的過去？湯姆那麽愛著羅絲，無論發生過什麽，湯姆肯定是原諒了羅絲的。
以前喬治在大學樂隊唱的多是談情說愛的歌兒，在台上專門為靄青唱時的專注和深情，靄青依然曆曆在目，後來在電台播音室，擠在在凱文家借宿時，喬治的歌是歡快詼諧的。今天他的聲音有些沙啞，有些沉重。哎呀，轉眼快十年了，她和喬治都過了熱戀期，拖家帶口的求安穩生活。家庭裏的巨大事件，羅絲的老年癡呆，湯姆的腦梗，維克的無著無落，喬治都攬成自己的責任。
這種沉重的責任感都帶到了歌聲裏，靄青看著歪頭睡著的傑傑，還有肚子裏的娜娜，都是喬治最關愛的。
靄青正在出神，喬治吉他一轉，又是一首老歌的曲調流淌出來，The Living Years by The Machanics。
Every generation
Blames the one before
And all of their frustrations
Come beating on your door
I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Oh， crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got
You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defence
Say it loud (say it loud)， say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So we open up a quarrel
Between the present and the past
We only sacrifice the future
It's the bitterness that lasts
So don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up， and don't give in
You may just be okay
So say it loud， say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
Because it's too late， it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
I wasn't there that morning
When my Father passed away
I didn't get to tell him
All the things I had to say
I think I caught his spirit
Later that same year
I'm sure I heard his echo
In my baby's new born tears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Say it loud， say it clear (oh say it clear)
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)
To admit we don't see eye to eye
So say it， say it， say it loud (say it loud)
Say it clear (come on say it clear)
聽著喬治維克和安妮和聲唱著“說，說，想說就說，否則後悔晚矣”，靄青心裏一動，剛剛聽安妮講要回家照顧媽媽，自己心裏就動了讓媽媽爸爸出來轉轉的念頭，又看見喬治維克兩人盡心伺候父母，仿佛棒喝一樣，靄青暗中對自己說，不管以前和媽媽有什麽隔閡，過去的就過去了，她感恩父母的豁達，理解支持她的每個人生決定。靄青沒有後悔漂洋過海在他鄉異地奮鬥，倏忽幾年，她有了自己的家，為人之母，方才站在母親的角度回首過去，她要和媽媽講，大聲的講，現在就講，我愛你們，謝謝你們的養育之恩，在你們有生之年，我願意多陪陪你們。