（六）吃大蒜的傳票官
英國中世紀最傑出的詩人傑弗裏·喬叟（Geoffrey Chaucer，1343-1400年）開始創作《坎特伯雷故事集》（The Canterbury Tales）時，原本打算寫大約120個故事，可惜去世前隻完成了二十幾個。十四世紀的坎特伯雷麵積約一平方英裏，離倫敦約六七十英裏，人口不多，結伴而行比較安全，又可以排除旅途寂寞。在往返需四天的路上，二十九個香客進行講故事比賽。喬叟在《坎特伯雷故事集》的《總序》（general prologue）裏介紹了這些香客的身份和性格特點。我注意到其中一位愛吃大蒜的傳票官(Summoner)，現將總序裏關於他的詩行翻譯如下：
“那個地方有一位傳票官和我們在一起，有著一張因患濕疹而火紅的丘比特天使臉。他的眼睛縫成一條縫兒，和麻雀一樣淫蕩好色。黑眉毛上結滿痂，胡子稀疏，他有著一張讓孩子們害怕的臉。無論是水銀、硫磺、密陀僧，還是硼砂、鉛粉、塔塔粉，或任何一種軟膏，都治不好他臉頰上的癤子、白色的膿包和疙瘩。他非常喜歡吃大蒜、洋蔥和韭菜，喝著鮮紅如血的烈性酒，然後他會像瘋子一樣大聲喊叫。當他狂飲了許多酒後，隻會喊出拉丁語。他從法院的判決裏學到了兩三個拉丁短語，這也難怪，因為他整天都在聽。而且你很清楚，即使是鬆鴉也能把‘沃特’說得和教皇一樣好。但若是你想挑戰他說些別的，就發現他隻會一遍遍地用拉丁語說：‘哪條法律適用於這種情況？’ 他是一個好心腸的無賴，很難找到比他更好的家夥了。為什麽呢？為了一誇脫的酒，他會把自己的小妾讓給某個好男人十二個月，而且徹底原諒他。（雖然我們私底下知道，他可以偷偷去找另一個女人）。如果他碰巧遇到一個好人，在這種情況下，他就會教那人不必敬畏總執事的詛咒，除非他的靈魂躺在他的錢袋裏。因為在錢袋裏才會受罰，‘錢袋是總執事的地獄。’他說。然而我很清楚他是在撒謊，每一個罪人都應該害怕詛咒，害怕進墳墓前被革除了教籍。（因為詛咒是死路一條，蒙赦免是獲救）。他憑借權利，輕而易舉地知道了教會管轄的教區裏的少男少女們的秘密。他的頭上戴著一個大花環，和小酒店木樁上的招牌一樣大，他用他們烤的一個麵包做他的盾牌。”
(A summoner was with us in that place,
Who had a fiery-red, cherubic face,
For eczema he had; his eyes were narrow
As hot he was, and lecherous, as a sparrow;
With black and scabby brows and scanty beard;
He had a face that little children feared.
There was no mercury, sulphur, or litharge,
No borax, ceruse, tartar, could discharge,
Nor ointment that could cleanse enough, or bite,
To free him of his boils and pimples white,
Nor of the bosses resting on his cheeks.
Well loved he garlic, onions, aye and leeks,
And drinking of strong wine as red as blood.
Then would he talk and shout as madman would.
And when a deal of wine he'd poured within,
Then would. he utter no word save Latin.
Some phrases had he learned, say two or three,
Which he had garnered out of some decree;
No wonder, for he'd heard it all the day;
And all you know right well that even a jay
Can call out "Wat" as well as can the pope.
But when, for aught else, into him you'd grope,
'Twas found he'd spent his whole philosophy;
Just "Questio quid juris" would he cry.
He was a noble rascal, and a kind;
A better comrade 'twould be hard to find.
Why, he would suffer, for a quart of wine,
Some good fellow to have his concubine
A twelve-month, and excuse him to the full
(Between ourselves, though, he could pluck a gull).
And if he chanced upon a good fellow,
He would instruct him never to have awe,
In such a case, of the archdeacon's curse,
Except a man's soul lie within his purse;
For in his purse the man should punished be.
"The purse is the archdeacon's Hell," said he.
But well I know he lied in what he said;
A curse ought every guilty man to dread
(For curse can kill, as absolution save),
And 'ware significavit to the grave.
In his own power had he, and at ease,
The boys and girls of all the diocese,
And knew their secrets, and by counsel led.
A garland had he set upon his head,
Large as a tavern's wine-bush on a stake;
A buckler had he made of bread they bake. )
（注：bush 指的是從前掛在小酒館前作為小酒館標誌的樹枝或常春藤）
傳票官的職責是為教堂法院發傳票給那些被指控為違反教會法律的教徒，他不屬於神職人員編製。從他喜歡吃大蒜、洋蔥和韭蔥這個事實來判斷，他應當屬於中下階層。因為一直到十九世紀，英國貴族和神職人員還是很抗拒吃大蒜的，我們可以從著名詩人雪萊（Percy Bysshe Shelley，1792—1822）的一封書信得到證明。1818年，詩人去意大利旅遊，在信裏提到了他對意大利的印象：“這裏有兩個意大利…… 一個是人們想象中的最美妙和最可愛的意大利，另一個是最墮落、最討厭和最惡心的意大利。你怎麽看呢？年輕的上等女人實際上吃了 – 你永遠也不會猜到-大蒜！我們可憐的朋友拜倫勳爵和這群人生活在一起，也受到了嚴重腐蝕。事實上，過著一種與他的身份不相配的生活。”（“There are two Italies…. The one is the most sublime and lovely contemplation that can be conceived by the imagination of man; the other is the most degraded, disgusting, and odious. What do you think? Young women of rank actually eat — you will never guess what — garlick! Our poor friend Lord Byron is quite corrupted by living among these people, and in fact, is going on in a way not worthy of him.” ）
所以傳票官滿嘴蒜味在教堂裏發傳票，是對上帝的一種褻瀆和對職業的不敬。他藐視神靈的存在，對犯錯的人說“錢袋是總執事的地獄”，暗示他們可以靠行賄來逃避責罰。他官當的不大，卻懂得以權謀私，似乎屢屢得逞，還好色好淫。
和傳票官結伴同遊的是一位在教堂裏賣贖罪券的赦免官（Pardoner），喬叟是這樣形容他的：“和他一起結伴騎行的是他的朋友和同行，一個名叫若望西瓦的溫和的赦免官，直接從羅馬教廷來。他高聲唱著‘愛人，來到我身邊’，傳票官的和唱讓人不勝其擾，一隻喇叭的聲響都不及他一半。這位赦免官的頭發像蠟一樣黃，似一小束亞麻散落地垂下來，一綹一綹地垂在頭四周，他讓這些頭發披在了肩頭，隻是一縷縷披散得稀稀拉拉的。雖然兜帽一直裝在他的錢袋裏，為了圖瀟灑他一直沒有戴。他似乎在追趕時髦，披頭散發，腦瓜上隻戴著便帽。他的眼睛像野兔的眼睛一樣閃閃發亮，帽子上逢著精致的聖維羅尼卡像。他的錢袋墜在他的大腿上，裏麵塞滿了從羅馬帶來的贖罪券。他的聲音像綿羊又弱又尖，他沒有胡子，也永遠不會長，他的臉光滑得就像剛刮過胡子一樣，依我看，他不是閹過的雄馬就是母馬。從伯立克到韋爾，很難找到騙術如此之高的赦免官。他的袋子裏有一個枕套，他說那是聖母的麵紗。他說他擁有聖彼得的一張船帆，是聖彼得在海上航行時用的帆，直到耶穌改變了他的信仰。他有一個鑲滿了石子的黃銅十字架，一個裝著豬骨頭的瓶子。憑著這些聖物，當他遇見一個頭腦簡單的教士，那麽他在一天掙到的錢比那些可憐的傻瓜兩個月掙到的還多。因此，憑著這些吹捧和花招，他把教士和其他人騙得團團轉。但最後還要說一句大實話：他在教會裏是一位好傳教士，擅長念經文、說故事，在奉獻儀式上唱得最動聽。因為他清楚地知道當那首歌唱完之後，他就可以用最華麗的語言傳道。為了盡他所能掙些銀子，他唱得又歡快又響亮。”
(With him there rode a gentle pardoner
Of Rouncival, his friend and his compeer;
Straight from the court of Rome had journeyed he.
Loudly he sang "Come hither, love, to me,"
The summoner joining with a burden round;
Was never horn of half so great a sound.
This pardoner had hair as yellow as wax,
But lank it hung as does a strike of flax;
In wisps hung down such locks as he'd on head,
And with them he his shoulders overspread;
But thin they dropped, and stringy, one by one.
But as to hood, for sport of it, he'd none,
Though it was packed in wallet all the while.
It seemed to him he went in latest style,
Dishevelled, save for cap, his head all bare.
As shiny eyes he had as has a hare.
He had a fine veronica sewed to cap.
His wallet lay before him in his lap,
Stuffed full of pardons brought from Rome all hot.
A voice he had that bleated like a goat.
No beard had he, nor ever should he have,
For smooth his face as he'd just had a shave;
I think he was a gelding or a mare.
But in his craft, from Berwick unto Ware,
Was no such pardoner in any place.
For in his bag he had a pillowcase
The which, he said, was Our True Lady's veil:
He said he had a piece of the very sail
That good Saint Peter had, what time he went
Upon the sea, till Jesus changed his bent.
He had a latten cross set full of stones,
And in a bottle had he some pig's bones.
But with these relics, when he came upon
Some simple parson, then this paragon
In that one day more money stood to gain
Than the poor dupe in two months could attain.
And thus, with flattery and suchlike japes,
He made the parson and the rest his apes.
But yet, to tell the whole truth at the last,
He was, in church, a fine ecclesiast.
Well could he read a lesson or a story,
But best of all he sang an offertory;
For well he knew that when that song was sung,
Then might he preach, and all with polished tongue.
To win some silver, as he right well could;
Therefore he sang so merrily and so loud.)
（注：Veronica，聖維羅尼卡，曾用她的麵紗擦拭耶穌臉上的血和汗，耶穌的麵容奇跡般地印在織物上）
同傳票官一樣，赦免官也不是教堂的神職人員。在喬叟那個年代，人們認為一個人的外表是他內心世界的真實寫照，赦免官的光滑的不長胡子的麵孔和綿羊般的聲音暗示了他的性取向，所以喬叟懷疑他和傳票官在搞同性戀。他以上帝的名義行騙，騙術高超，從毫無戒心的信徒身上謀取暴利。他在教堂裏優美動聽的歌唱並非出於宗教熱情，而是一種包裝手段，用來謀取更多的經濟利益。
看得出喬叟對傳票官和赦免官是相當鄙視的，他倆醜陋的行徑是否也暴露了教會腐敗的一麵呢？
