如果有一天當上GRANDMA

這幾天看了好多小BABY的視頻,開始憧憬自己做GRANDMA的一天,這一天也許是10年之後,但咱從現在開始準備。

如果上帝給我這樣的福氣,我是一定要好好珍惜的。

一切財物的工作的壓力都已經沒有了,唯一有的壓力可能是我的身體健康狀況,所以一定要保持身體健康,才可能在機會麵前發揮餘熱。

另外一個就是和閨女,女婿的觀念協調問題。

前些天談到這個問題,我的小閨女說,還是會按照媽媽培養她的方式培養她自己的孩子們,但稍微做一點調整。我的孩子對我的認可,給我打高分,可我自己心裏給自己打了個低分。我是一個非常認真的媽媽,從孩子一出生我就非常認真照著書養,但因為賺錢壓力,和各種局限,我沒有達到我自己的期許,雖然後來我不停地調整。

比如,如果孩子哭了,當時的書上麵說,不要急著哄孩子,我當時照搬了,現在後悔到不行,如果再來一次,我一定要去哄孩子,和孩子交流,細查孩子的感受。

我當時沒有這麽做還有一個原因是不希望孩子長成一個DRAMA QUEEN,或者太在乎自己感受的一個FLAKY女人,一點點小事情感覺不好就要搞事情的女人是我非常不喜歡的,我希望她的人生有一點追求,TOUGH一點。

現在我也不知道自己對不對。

再比如,我當年那麽PUSH她的鋼琴,CELLO,不知道有什麽用,後來她10歲開始我PUSH體育,GYM,舞蹈,不知道有沒有什麽用。

我有意識的做了一件事情,從她12-13歲開始,我開始PUSH她注重自己的容顏,打扮,她曾經抱怨,我媽媽就是那種人,如果我出門沒有照鏡子,她都會叫我回去照一下再出門。

感謝上帝賜福,我的孩子們外表都挑了優點來繼承,我也誇獎她們的外表,說她們比媽媽漂亮很多。這一點和我自己的母親不同,我的母親是用盡一切辦法不希望我們意識到自己的美,她認為女孩子一旦認識到自己美,就開始歪著來了。

我媽媽用心良苦,在她的影響下麵,我倒是有人生的追求,也能達成一點點事情,不會過度打扮自己,也不會穿奇裝異服,給人清純樸素的印象。

這一點,當年北京的EX尤其喜歡,他說,你是我見過的照鏡子最少的女孩子,然後他不停地給我買衣服,打扮我,誇獎我。

所以我媽媽的方法還是有好處的。

是讓女孩子養成特別注重外表的意識,還是不過分注重外表,這兩個養育女孩子的辦法,哪一個更好呢。

elfie 發表評論於
I really don't care. My daughter is her own person and she's excellent in many ways. But I have two sons after her so there's no way I can put so much attention on her as you did. I make sure she sticks to violin, she does very well on that on my standard, which is at 13 years old she still loves playing violin and she's the first violin in our youth orchestra. She's a gamer but also good at math, that's what I'd like to see. AMC level player? maybe not. But pretty close.
My two sons did split much of my attention from her, but I never strived to be the perfect parent, perfect mother and role model. I never care whether she dresses well. She dresses like any other girls in middle schools.
And I don't really care about becoming a grandma. It's really a long way to go and I may not be able to live till that day. My older son said he'd like to have dogs instead of children. Fine. It's not something that I can change or have influence on. To each his own.
Sometimes I feel tired, and I don't want to chase the boys anymore like I did with my daughter, on music, on math. Being a mom of three is a hard job. There are no fantasies left, no unreasonable expectations. They are what they are. What we can do to influence children is actually very small. Over 90% of their personal traits are determined by genes. The rest is by circumstances. How much is left for parents? less than 5%
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