回複 '西岸-影' 的評論 : 有道理!人還是分階段的,年輕時可以有點刺激打拚一下,但是目的也是為了將來easy,如果年輕時就easy,當然不需要打拚,但是也激發人的創造力。不是每個人都甘於easy。對將來未知不一定是好事,有時候會擊垮比較脆弱的人。還是要看人看場景。所以最後有個easy life 也算是人生圓滿。
西岸-影 發表評論於
人類社會追求的生活目標是a peace of mind,這是為什麽社會主義性質的從搖籃到墳墓的模式在上個世紀吸引人的原因,瑞典直到1974年才放棄這個模式,原因是財政上無法維持。
就是說,不是人們不想,而是做不到。
因此所謂easy life具體指的就是對未來可預測,其實整個人類科學的發展也是為了這個目的,可預測,比如預測災難,地震。。。都是為了能降低突發事件導致的心理壓力。
心理壓力降低人類的壽命,這不是秘密或者有爭議,甚至癌症的發生都可以歸結於這個原因。
而要做到這一點,一個人類可以做的事情是長期規劃,幾十年的長期規劃。規劃未必就能達到目標,導致浪費也是可能的,但不規劃是一定不能對未來準備的。
在美國生活的第一年後,得到的感覺就是在美國你永遠不知道明天會有什麽麻煩發生,可能隻是小事情,但當時作為學生來講,一次停錯車被罰款25美元也是難以負擔的,因為這等於是當時一周的食品費用。
但美國也是因為這種模式的生活而讓人感到刺激,未知會讓一次機會的發生對心理的刺激很強,遠比那種已知未來產生的刺激強,腎上腺激素爆發,讓你覺得生活多樣化,有趣。現代心理學的成果之一就是證明人類的貪婪是無限的,這就包括對未知的貪婪。
所以,當你追求easy life的時候,也就失去了生活的樂趣。在美國典型的例子就是所謂trust fund head,這是年輕人在很小的時候就被父母建立了trust fund,一輩子不愁生活,甚至不需要上學。
但他們的生活也是最無趣的,因為沒有為了生活打拚的心理需求,也沒有能力,混吃等死。
世界上沒有什麽是十全十美的。
楓葉糖漿007 發表評論於
回複 'elfie' 的評論 : 不需要怪background不同啊。大家移民的都一樣,要和locals compete. So what? Some lose some win.
你是太累了,淹沒了母親對自己孩子本能的愛。如果有憂鬱症應該要去看看醫生。在國外是保護弱勢群體的。家庭的事,外人很難說三道四。你自己要想清楚做出最有利於自己的決定。你聽上去確實需要有一個傾訴的地方。
elfie 發表評論於
There are a lot of reasons that he makes more than I do. We could be making the same amount if I wasn't from China or never been a mother of three. He has a much better chance because of the different background.
All these notwithstanding, being a mother of multiple children reduces income in life. It's time consuming. I've been staying with my children for 10 years at home. Now he makes 5 to 6 times more than I do annually.
I don't understand why people like to stay close to adult children. I don't. Because my life will be finally open and free after they grow up. And they won't need me anymore. It's a short window of 20 to 30 years. I think we should enjoy the children free years, make more friends and that's something to look forward of.
楓葉糖漿007 發表評論於
回複 '矽穀工匠' 的評論 : Those who realized they have an easy have, would have a easy life.
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對的,有的人不知不覺就有了easy life,然後自己又認識到,這個真的是造化。求不來,也奮鬥不來。
矽穀工匠 發表評論於
Those who realized they have an easy have, would have a easy life.
It's probably the ideal life for you. I just want more money. All our money is his, he earns more and is a penny pincher. Isn't it painful? I really, really want to get divorced but can't afford it. Isn't it painful?
Children living close by? Of course they are. They are only 12, 9 and 6 years old. I don't care if they live close by when they grow up. I want to be free of mom's duties someday. Then I can spend all that I earn on myself.
Chinese food? Don't care. Parents? I don't have to worry about them.
Chinese friends? No, thank you. I have Jewish friends. I don't want to have anything to do with Chinese women. Hard to find, hard to deal with.
House and car, yes I have them. So what? If I have to live with someone that I don't like anymore for the next few decades, these things won't make me happy.
Freedom from credit card debt, husband and children free, this is my ideal life.
Hang out with the people I like in the community, this is my ideal life.