1 亞曆山大大帝 Alexander the Great
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation，and the doctor，somewhat nettled，said:“Landon，you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition.Why，at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
蘭登作了一次不成功的朗誦。教授有點不悅，對他說道:“蘭登，你在這門課上好像進步不大，你好像缺乏誌向。亞曆山大大帝在你這個年齡可已經征服了半個世界。”
"Yes，”said Landon，"he couldn’t help it，for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
“是啊，”蘭登說，“他沒法不那樣。教授先生，您回想一下史實，亞曆山大大帝有亞裏士多德做他的老師。”
2 你輸了 You've Lost
On her return from school，little Dolly, aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad，and presently said:
放學回到家裏，十歲的小多莉被拉過來坐在她爸爸的膝上，她被告知那天仙女們帶來了一個大大的驚奇—一個嬰兒小弟弟。她似乎很高興，馬上說:
"Will you give me a stamp，daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸，你能不能給我一張郵票?我要寫信告訴湯姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school.Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父親被這話感動了，他為小姑娘提供了給她哥哥寫信所需的各種用具，她的哥哥住在學校裏。後來，想知道她是怎麽報告這個消息的，他找機會讀了她寫的信。在讀到下麵這兩行字時，他差點兒驚呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“親愛的湯姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天結果出來了，你輸了;是個男孩。”
3 詩人的名字 The Name of a Poet
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我們的老師正在給我們介紹現在某些學校使用的一種新的記憶訓練係統。
“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“這個係統是這樣的，”她說。“假定你要記住一個詩人的名字一一例如，要記住羅伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告訴我們把他當作博比·彭斯。“讓你的腦海裏閃現出一個倫敦警察的形象，燃燒著的警察。明白嗎?警察燃燒!”
“I see what you mean”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思，”班上的萬事通說。“但是你怎麽能說那就不是羅伯特·布朗寧呢?”
4 作文 Essay
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket".After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home.
老師給學生出了個作文題:“一場板球賽”。兩分鍾後，西蒙·斯蒂爾交了作文，老師允許他回家了。
His essay read:"Rain， stopped play."
他在作文上寫道:“下雨，比賽中止。”
5 除了音樂都好 Except The Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music，so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.To make the occasion even more memorable，she treated everybody to lemonade，cake，chocolates and ices.
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學生多了解一點經典的古典音樂，就安排了一場下午的音樂會。為了使這次活動能給大家留下更深的印象，她請大家喝檸檬汽水，吃蛋糕、巧克力和冰激淩。
Just as the party was getting back into their coach，she said to little Sally，“Have you enjoyed yourself today?”
在回來上汽車的時候，她問小薩利:“你今天玩得好嗎?”
"Oh，yes，miss”said Sally，“It was lovely.All except the music，that is.”
“噢，好極了，老師，”薩利說，“除了音樂其他都好。”
6 一次物理考試 A Physics Examination
Once in a physics examination，Nick finished the first question very soon，while his classmates were thinking it hard.
在一次物理考試中當同學們都還在苦思冥想時，尼克很快就答好了第一個問題。
The question was: when it thunders why we see the lightning first，then hear the thunder rolls?
這個問題是:為什麽在打雷時，我們總是先看到閃電後聽到雷聲?
Nick’s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
尼克的回答是:因為眼睛在前，耳朵在後。
(from internet)
