英詩漢譯 Pied Beauty

Thank for discussions and suggestions.  This is my second pass.   I think that I am one step closer.

Pied Beauty by Gerald Manley Hopkins Glory be to God for dappled things —   For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;     For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim; Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;   Landscape plotted and pieced — fold, fallow, and plough;     And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim. All things counter, original, spare, strange;   Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)     With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim; He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: Praise him.

繽紛的美麗by Gerald Manley Hopkins 翻譯 高興   讚美我主讓世界五彩斑斕- 奶牛的花斑鑲成彩雲片片； 鱒魚的彩鱗遊出迷霧團團； 熟栗墜地如火躍， 紅雀鼓翅漫天旋； 田畝畦畦，牧場，閑地和耕地； 工貿濟濟，用具，裝置與機器。   憑它匪夷所思，粗陋，無用或出奇； 或瞬息萬變，或若隱若現（誰知為何）？ 是快，是慢， 是酸， 是甜； 是閃光， 是黯淡； 所造皆美麗， 唯造物之美不變： 讚美祂吧。

諸位的鼓勵和建議對我幫助很大。 再次感謝。

I think that I made a big improvement by figuring out the grammar structure of the last paragraph.  The poem should read

He fathers-forth
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
His beauty is past change:               
Praise him.

With this in mind the 'counter' should be an adjective.  I used 匪夷所思 for things that are not what we normally imagine.

另外， 接受聚曦亭的建議將“紅雀鼓翅任飛旋”改為“ 紅雀鼓翅漫天旋”以減少動感。

Welcome further suggestion and criticize.

所有跟帖： 

• "或瞬息萬變，或若隱若現（誰知為何）？"這句的英文語法分析 -rancho2008- ♀ (457 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 10:09:02

• your revised comprehension -聚曦亭- ♀ (192 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 12:09:58

• I see difficulties in your explanation -馬下人- ♂ (2619 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 14:19:48

• 我的理解 -聚曦亭- ♀ (1021 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 15:13:40

• 我也認為counter作為動詞理解比較好，盡管 -rancho2008- ♀ (600 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 16:34:03

• 馬先生把它當主語理解是對的 -聚曦亭- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 17:05:51

• 馬先生把它當noun　phrase， 名詞短語，那就沒有主語了。 -rancho2008- ♀ (0 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 20:23:49

• 謝謝指出！有點忙。有點跟丟了的感覺。 -聚曦亭- ♀ (6 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 20:24:51

• Thank for the suggestion. Below is my thinking -馬下人- ♂ (101 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 14:44:22

• This is my read of the last paragraph-- -馬下人- ♂ (770 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 21:38:23

• As I said earlier, the first sentence ends after the question ma -rancho2008- ♀ (400 bytes) () 03/13/2015 postreply 22:37:52