【翻譯寫作】練習之二原文+總結,請大家踴躍討論

本文內容已被 [ 非文學青年 ] 在 2011-06-02 04:46:20 編輯過。如有問題,請報告版主或論壇管理刪除.

逃學的孩子們都缺乏想像力。他們通常能夠做到的,至多也就是安靜地釣上一天魚,或在電影院裏坐上8個小時,一遍遍地看同一部電影。而有那麽一個小男孩,他 在逃學期間旅行了1,600英裏,從而使上述所有逃學的孩子們都相形見絀了。他搭便車到了多佛,天快黑時鑽進了一條船,想找個地方睡覺。第二天早上他醒來 時,發現船在這段時間已經到了加來。當男孩從船裏爬出來時,誰也沒有發現他。從那裏他又搭上卡車到了巴黎。司機給了他幾塊餅幹和一杯咖啡,就把他丟在了城 外。男孩截住的下一輛車,沒有像他希望的那樣把他帶到巴黎市中心,而是把他帶到了法國和西班牙邊界上的佩皮尼昂。他在那兒被一個警察抓住了,之後被當局送 回了英國。他無疑為成千上萬夢想逃避上學的孩子們創造了一項紀錄。

Original: The record-holder

Children who play truant from school are unimaginative. A quiet day's fishing, or eight hours in a cinema seeing the same film over and over again, is usually as far as they get. They have all been put to shame by a boy who, while playing truant, travelled 1,600 miles. He hitchhiked to Dover and, towards evening, went into a boat to find somewhere to sleep. When he woke up next morning, he discovered that the boat had, in the meantime, travelled to Calais. No one noticed the boy as he crept off. From there, he hitchhiked to Paris in a lorry. The driver gave him a few biscuits and a cup of coffee and left him just outside the city. The next car the boy stopped did not take him into the centre of Paris as he hoped it would, but to Perpignan on the French-Spanish border. There he was picked up by a policeman and sent back to England by the local authorities. He has surely set up a record for the thousands of children who dream of evading school.

Some random comments from 學委:

 Different ways of saying逃學:play truant, play hooky, skip school, cut class

使相形見絀: my personal favorite: newton’s “outshine”

餅幹:As it is more like breakfast and with coffee, it is more likely to be “biscuits” than “crackers”.

Difference between AE and BE: besides the play truant vs. play hooky difference, there is the use of “lorry” in BE for “truck”.

For the second 搭車,I used “hitchhike” at first, then thought the original must have used different words for the two “搭車”, so I changed the second one to a plain “got to the truck”. I was a little surprised to see the original did use “hitchhike” twice. Lesson learned: don’t over think it.

 

標的紅字的是我覺得用法有問題的,綠的是我覺得要insert或者替代你的紅的翻譯的,黃色highlight的是我覺得有待商榷的。

 

非文學青年:

All children that skip school lack imagination(are not that imaginative?). What they usually could do, at the best, is to spend a quiet day fishing, or to sit in the cinema watching the same movie over and over for eight hours. However, there was this boy, who traveled 1600 miles during his truant(?truancy, outsmarting all the above children. He hitchhiked to Dover and crawled into a boat at dusk to find a place to sleep. He woke up the next morning only to find that the boat had gotten to Calai. No one noticed him when he crawled out of the boat. From there, he got on a truck and went to Paris. The truck driver gave him a few biscuits and a cup of coffee and left him outside of the city. The next car the boy stopped did not take him to downtown Paris as he wanted, but to Perpignan, the border of France and Spain. He was caught there by a policeman and sent back to the Britain. He undoubtedly set a record for thousands of children who dream of skipping school.

愚公:

Children escaping from school lack imagination.  What they can do at most is fishing quietly for a day or sitting in a movie theater for eight hours, watching the same film again and again.  However, there is one boy who travelled 1,600 miles while he was escaping the school. That made other kids who escape from school look dumb(too strong, J).  He took a ride to Dover, then boarded on a ship to find a place to sleep.  He found out, when he woke up the next morning, that the ship had arrived at Calai.  No body spotted him when he got off the ship.  From there, he ws given a lift by a truck driver going to Paris.  The driver gave him some crackers and a cup of coffee, then dropped him off outside of the city.  The boy stopped another car.  But he was taken to Perpignan, the border of Spain and France, instead of of the center of Paris that he was hoping for.  He was caught by a poilce officer there and was sent back by authority to Britain.  Without a doubt, he has created a record for thousands of kids who dream of escaping school.

學英語3151

Most kids who play hooky don’t have much imagination. What they do at most were fishing whole day or sitting in a movie theater for 8 hours watching the same movie over and over again. However, there was this young boy who had traveled 1600 miles during those days which had made the other kids who skipped school seemingly mediocre. He took a bus to get to 多佛. When the night fell, he sneaked into a boat to sleep and found himself in 加來 the second day. No one saw him when he got out of the boat. From加來, he took a truck to get to Paris. The driver gave him a couple of coffee and several pieces of cookies and left him at the edge of the town. He then hitched another ride which did not take him to the center of Paris as he had expected, in stead it took him to Perpignan at the border of France and Spain. At there he was caught by police and was sent back to England. Undoubtedly he set a record for hundreds and thousands of kids who play hooky.

 

美風:

Children who cut classes were lack of imagination. What they usually did, at most, going fishing quietly for a whole day, or staying in a theater for 8 hours to see the same film again and again. However, there was a boy who traveled for 1600 miles during his cutting classes, therefore, he made all of the children above not smart. He reached Dover by a ride, then he enterred a boat for sleeping when the evening was coming. When he woke up in the next day morning, he found the boat arrived to (at) Calais. When the boy got out of the boat, nobody found him. Then he reached to Paris by a truck. The driver gave him several pieces of biscuit and a cup of coffee, and dropped him to the outside of the town. The next truck which was stopped by the boy, did not take him to the downtown of Paris as he hoped, but brought him to Perpignan, the boundary of France and Spain. He was caught by a cop over there, then he was sent back to England by the Bureau. Undoubtedly, he broke a record for thousands of children who dreamed of cuttng classes.

 

newton123

Children that play truant lack imagination. What they are often able to do is to go fishing quietly for one day, or stay in (the?) movie theatre for eight hours watching the same film again and again. Well, there is a little boy traveling over sixteen hundred of miles during the period of playing truant, greatly outshining the others. He was picked up at Dover and came on board of a ship after dark. The next morning when he woke up, he found out the ship arrived at Calais. No body detected him until he slipped out of the ship.(與原文意思有悖)  From there he caught upon a truck to Paris. The driver passed him biscuits and a cup of coffee and left him outside of the city. He then was on another vehicle, but he was not sent to the center of Paris as he expected, instead, he was brought to Perpignan at the border of France and Spain, where he was caught by a policeman and sent back to England. He no doubt created a record for hundreds and thousands students who play truant

小千:

Those children who like playing hooky from school (skipping school) all lack imagination. The most they can do is just quietly fishing for a day, or sitting in the cinema watching the same movie again and again for straight eight hours straight. However, there was a boy who traveled 1,600 miles during his skipping (while skipping from school). Compared with him, all the others will be thrown into the shade (all the others are nothing.) He had a free ride to Dover (He hitchhiked to Dover), and wormed into a ship looking for a place to sleep before sunset. When he woke up the next morning, he found the ship had already arrived at Calais. He crawled out of the ship, no one noticed him.(two sentences) From Calais he was picked up (lifted) by a truck to Paris. At the outside of the city, the driver gave him some cookie, a cup of coffee, and left him. The next car he hitchhiked didn’t drive him to the downtown Paris as he hoped, but dropped him at Perpignan which is located at the border of France and Spain. There he was stopped by a policeman, and then sent back to Britain. No doubt, he made a record for thousands of children who dream of playing hooky.

Bingli 

The kids who play hooky are all unimaginative. Normally, All  they can do is to go fishing somewhere quietly for a whole day, or just watch the same movie again and again for 8 hours in the theatre. There was one boy who traveled 1600 miles when playing hooky, thus It made the others like nothing. He hitchhiked all the way to Dover,He wanted to get some sleep, and then he got into a boat when it was getting dark. When he woke up in( the) next morning, He found that the boat has arrived at Calais. No one noticed the boy when he got out of the boat. He then hitchhiked to Paris on a truck,The truck driver gave him a few cracker(s) and a cup of coffee and left him outside the town.The next driver who stopped by the kid didn’t take him to the downtown of Paris as what the kid expected,He turned out to take the boy to Perpignan where the border between France and Spain.He got caught there by a crop(haha, J) and was sent back to the U.K. by the authorities. He definitely set a record for millions of kids who want playing hooky.

所有跟帖: 

謝謝點評,仿佛又回到大學校園的感覺,受益匪淺。 -斕婷- 給 斕婷 發送悄悄話 斕婷 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 10:16:33

哈哈,三好學生,今天又學到了那個短語?寫個心得吧,哈哈 -hahaman- 給 hahaman 發送悄悄話 hahaman 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 12:58:59

報告hahaman,學到了outshine.不是三好學生,寫不出總結,怎麽辦呢? -斕婷- 給 斕婷 發送悄悄話 斕婷 的博客首頁 (357 bytes) () 06/02/2011 postreply 07:54:40

哈哈,好。隻要不空手就行。我現在忙,周末聽。 -hahaman- 給 hahaman 發送悄悄話 hahaman 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 06/02/2011 postreply 11:39:40

太謝謝文青學委了!有一處你翻得很好。 -beautifulwind- 給 beautifulwind 發送悄悄話 (1222 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 11:03:01

美風學習得真仔細啊! -非文學青年- 給 非文學青年 發送悄悄話 非文學青年 的博客首頁 (85 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 12:02:27

太感謝文青花費了大量時間來點評每一篇譯文。我們從中收獲不少。 -bingli- 給 bingli 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 12:13:47

太感謝文青了,工作量一定很大吧?辛苦了!這個“straight”前幾天我還真問了幾個老外 -千與.千尋- 給 千與.千尋 發送悄悄話 千與.千尋 的博客首頁 (645 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 14:22:35

謝謝小千,看這樣我也學習了不是? -非文學青年- 給 非文學青年 發送悄悄話 非文學青年 的博客首頁 (77 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 14:43:44

Thanks!!! 回複:【翻譯寫作】練習之二原文+總結,請大家踴躍討論 -學英語3151- 給 學英語3151 發送悄悄話 (630 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 15:24:51

與我心有戚戚焉,同謝文青!!! -beautifulwind- 給 beautifulwind 發送悄悄話 (0 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 15:37:15

共同學習! -非文學青年- 給 非文學青年 發送悄悄話 非文學青年 的博客首頁 (48 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 15:45:08

向山東老家的老鄉學習 -hahaman- 給 hahaman 發送悄悄話 hahaman 的博客首頁 (166 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 19:08:54

師兄?!你不是天津衛的嗎? -非文學青年- 給 非文學青年 發送悄悄話 非文學青年 的博客首頁 (418 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 19:33:28

對,都可以 -hahaman- 給 hahaman 發送悄悄話 hahaman 的博客首頁 (171 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 20:45:29

看來是師兄了,又賣老。 -非文學青年- 給 非文學青年 發送悄悄話 非文學青年 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 23:33:49

菲教授講的簡明精彩,看來俺是好學生啊。 -EnLearner- 給 EnLearner 發送悄悄話 EnLearner 的博客首頁 (124 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 22:10:05

愚教授的翻譯很紮實,挑不出來什麽磚頭。 -非文學青年- 給 非文學青年 發送悄悄話 非文學青年 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 06/01/2011 postreply 22:48:52

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