盧岩回憶錄
本人的回憶錄，宗教文化
二郎和三郎跟著潘家的人來到了墓地。傭人們幾下就刨開了武大郎的墳。打開棺材後，武大郎像似睡著了一樣。三郎解開了他的衣服，發現傷口已經愈合了。人們就把他抬了回來。潘家找來了巫醫。巫醫也說武大郎是在辟穀（亦作井陽，去了長壽天了，參見11.4.4.2-5無想定），然後重新布置了靈堂。
武二郎和張三郎在靈堂守靈。潘金蓮來了，說是要給武大郎洗澡，換衣服。三郎默不作聲地出去了。過了一會兒，武二郎也出來了，對三郎叨咕：“我感覺我們為大哥守靈，就是防止大嫂害大哥，你怎麽出來了？”
Second Wolf and Third Wolf followed the Pan family to the cemetery. Servants dug open Martial Big Wolf's grave in a few strokes. After opening the coffin, Martial Big Wolf seemed to be asleep. Third Wolf Zhang opened his clothes and found that the wound had healed. People carried him back. The Pan family found a witch doctor. The witch doctor also said that Martial Big Wolf was fasting (i.e., well-sun, ascended to the longevity sky, see section 11.4.4.2-5 Thoughtless Stillness), and rearranged the mourning hall.
Martial Second Wolf and Third Wolf Zhang became spirits keepers at the funeral hall. Goldthread Pan came and said she wanted to give Martial Big Wolf a bath and change his clothes. Third Wolf went out silently. After a while, Martial Second Wolf also came out and muttered to Third Wolf: "I feel that we are spirits keepers for our elder brother to prevent older sister-in-law from harming elder brother. Why did you come out?"
張三郎回答：“我沒叫你出來。”
武二郎尷尬地說：“我這麽大個人怎麽看！你是小孩兒，沒事，你進去看著吧！”
張三郎去山頂的拱廊乘涼去了。
二郎和三郎看見潘金蓮離開了，又回到了靈堂，發現靈堂裏的氣氛確實好了很多。香的氣味改變了情緒。過了一會兒，潘金蓮又來了，說是要給武大郎喂藥。三郎表情嚴肅地看著潘金蓮，問：“大嫂！你要喂我大哥吃什麽藥？”
Third Wolf Zhang replied: "I didn't ask you to come out."
Martial Second Wolf said awkwardly: "How can I, a grown-up, see? You're a kid, it's okay, you go in and watch!"
Third Wolf Zhang went to the arcade on the top of the mountain to enjoy the cool air.
Second Wolf and Third Wolf saw Goldthread Pan leave and returned to the mourning hall and found that the atmosphere in the mourning hall was indeed much better. The smell of incense changed the mood. After a while, Goldthread Pan came again and said she wanted to feed Martial Big Wolf medicine. Third Wolf looked at Goldthread Pan with a serious expression and asked, "Sister-in-law! What medicine are you going to feed my brother?"
潘金蓮笑著回答：“辟穀藥（注，例如黃瓜汁）！看來兩位叔叔是不信任我呀！我試藥給你們看。”說著，她就一羹匙，一羹匙地喝那藥。
武二郎在一邊看著，著急地說：“你得給我大哥留點兒啊！”
潘金蓮展示了剩下的一碗底兒辟穀藥，然後說：“這點兒就夠他吃的。以前他隻能吃半羹匙。後來，我發現在喂他時，拍一拍他的後背，他能多吃些，能吃一羹匙。再多就不行了，他會吐出來。”
二郎和三郎聽後，又離開了靈堂。
Goldthread Pan smiled and replied, "Fasting medicine (note, such as cucumber juice)! It seems that the two uncles (note, in ancient China, sister-in-law calls her husband’s brother as uncle) don't trust me! I will try the medicine for you." As she said that, she drank the medicine spoonful by spoonful.
Martial Second Wolf watched from the side and said anxiously: "You should spare some for my elder brother!"
Goldthread Pan showed the remaining little bit of fasting medicine and then said: "This is enough for him to eat. He could only eat half a spoonful before. Later, I found that when I patted his back while feeding him, he could eat more, even a spoonful. More than that, he would spit it out."
After hearing this, Second Wolf and Third Wolf left the mourning hall again.
傳說說，就這樣好多天，武大郎像是睡著了似的，躺在那裏。一天武二郎等得不耐煩了，問三郎：“如果我離開了，你自己在這裏看著大哥，會害怕不？”
武大郎問：“你要去哪裏？”
這哥倆發現武大郎醒了，高興地問候。武大郎看著靈堂的環境，坐了起來，問：“這是哪裏呀？”他低頭看見了自己的衣服，問：“我怎麽穿著這衣服！？”
武二郎回答：“我和三弟來參加你和潘金蓮的婚禮，結果你就在婚禮上睡著了。這衣服是大嫂剛給你換上的新郎服！”
Legend says that for many days, Martial Big Wolf just lay there like he was asleep. One day, Martial Second Wolf got tired of waiting and asked Third Wolf, "If I leave and you stay here alone to watch over our older brother, will you be scared?"
Martial Big Wolf asked: "Where are you going?"
The two brothers found that older brother had woken up and greeted him happily. Martial Big Wolf looked at the environment of the mourning hall, sat up and asked, "Where is this?" He looked down and saw his own clothes and asked, "Why am I wearing this!? "
Martial Second Wolf replied, "Third brother and I came to attend your wedding with Goldthread Pan, but you fell asleep at the wedding. This is the groom's suit that our elder sister-in-law just put on you!"
武大郎掀開自己的衣服向裏麵看，看著看著，嚎啕大哭！武二郎驚訝地問：“大哥！你大難不死，是好事，你哭什麽？”
武大郎哭著說：“二郎你走到哪兒都受人矚目，占盡風光！你大哥我，走到哪兒都被人瞧不起！我就琢磨著，我結婚的時候，親朋好友們，怎麽著也得在我的婚禮上虛心假意地恭維我幾句，那是我這輩子唯一受人矚目的場合。結果我錯過了，我可能是這世界上唯一錯過了自己婚禮的人，我就是這麽地不幸！”
三郎說：“大嫂真漂亮！我都不敢看！” 二郎問：“你感覺你的身體怎麽樣？”
Martial Big Wolf lifted his clothes and looked inside. As he looked inside, he burst into tears! Second Wolf was surprised and asked, "Brother! It's a good thing that you survived a disaster. Why are you crying?"
Martial Big Wolf cried and said, "Second Wolf, wherever you go, you attract attention, and you are the center of attention! As your elder brother, I am looked down upon wherever I go! I was thinking that when I get married, our relatives and friends would at least give me some hypocritical compliments at my wedding, that is the only occasion in my life where I will be noticed. But I missed it. I may be the only person in the world who missed his own wedding. I am so unfortunate!"
Third Wolf Zhang said, "Sister-in-law is so beautiful! I dare not look at her!" Second Wolf asked, "How do you feel about your body?"
武大郎一邊笑，一邊說：“我感覺非常舒服，像似吃了一顆千年人參似的！”
這時，在門口的潘金蓮說話了：“你是吃了一顆千年人參！還剩點兒，我泡在酒裏了，我去給你取來！”
武大郎看著潘金蓮，連眼仁都在笑，接過千年人參酒就假裝喝。潘金蓮說，“你醒了，我立刻去通知廚房，給你做八寶通氣粥。”
武大郎看著潘金蓮離開了，放下了酒，感慨地叨咕：“我真是命大呀！連喝這個都沒死！”這時，武二郎端起了酒杯，嚐了一口說：“仙酒的味道確實不一樣！大哥，你不喜歡，我喝啦！？”
Martial Big Wolf while laughing and said, "I feel very comfortable, as if I had eaten a thousand-year-old ginseng!"
At this time, Goldthread Pan at the door spoke up, "You did eat a thousand-year-old ginseng! There is still some left, I soaked it in the alcohol, I'll go and get it for you!"
Martial Big Wolf smilingly looked at Goldthread Pan, took the thousand-year-old ginseng alcohol and pretended to drink it. Goldthread Pan said, "You are awake, I will immediately notify the kitchen to make you eight-treasure porridge."
Martial Big Wolf watched Goldthread Pan leave, put down the alcohol, and muttered with emotion: "I am so lucky! I didn't die even after drinking this!" At this time, Martial Second Wolf picked up the alcohol glass, took a sip and said: "The taste of the fairy alcohol is indeed different! Brother, if you don't like it, I will drink it!?"
武大郎站了起來搶奪回了酒杯，大叫：“你喝了之後就真成為二郎神了！像誇父似的，光著屁股追太陽來把它新陳代謝掉！”
這時門外一個老頭兒大笑著說：“我可不是在偷聽，是潘大小姐說，‘幾位少神都年輕力壯，可能都沒生過大病’，讓我來給張大公子說說大病初愈時的注意事項。”
當門外的老醫生被張三郎請進了靈堂後，說：“自我介紹一下，我家住鄰村聚賢莊，道號太乙。先做最重要的事，承接二郎神的福根！”說著，他把武二郎和張三郎茶杯的剩茶水倒進了一個杯子，然後用茶壺倒滿了杯子，遞給了武大郎。
Martial Big Wolf stood up and snatched back the glass, yelling, “You'll really become Second Wolf God after you drink it! Like Kua’fu, chasing sun with your bare ass to metabolize it away!”
At that moment, an old man outside the door laughed loudly and said, “I wasn't eavesdropping, it was Miss Pan who said, ‘Several young gods are young and strong, and probably none of you have had a serious illness.’ She asked me to give Public Prince Zhang a few words on what to do when recovering from a serious illness.”
When the old doctor outside the door was invited into the spirit hall by Third Wolf Zhang, he said, “I'd like to introduce myself. My family lives in the neighboring village of Gathering Sages, and my Daoist fame is Taiyi (i.e., strictly second). Do the most important thing first, undertake the fortunate root of Second Wolf God!” With that, he poured the leftover tea from Third Wolf and Second Wolf's teacups into one cup then filled the cup with the teapot and handed it to Martial Big Wolf.
武大郎瞪著大眼睛問：“那我為什麽要喝他們倆剩下的茶水？”
太乙真人回答：“有時候，拉肚子比拉不下屎好受一些！”
武大郎大口地喝下了剩茶水。
太乙真人說：“這就對了！過一會兒，等稀粥熬好了，你就盡量喝。隨後跟我做些不太雅觀的動作。看張公子的精神狀態，我估計不出六個時辰，您的胃腸蠕動就可以恢複正常。”
Martial Big Wolf stared with wide eyes and asked: "Then why should I drink the tea they left behind?"
Taiyi True Human replied, “Sometimes it's better to have diarrhea than to not be able to poop!”
Martial Big Wolf took a big gulp of the leftover tea.
Taiyi True Human said, “That's right! Later, when the thin porridge is ready, you'll drink as much as you can. Afterward, do some not-so-graceful moves with me. Looking at Prince Zhang's state of mind, I estimate that in less than 12 hours, your gastrointestinal motility will return to normal.”
