2015年3月，夏威夷。
我妹妹從上海坐飛機過來，我從奧蘭多飛過來。她不知道會發生什麽，而我非常興奮，因為花了很長時間才說服她和我一起上課。
一個月前她在電話裏提起:“妞妞怎麽辦?我要在家陪她。”她提起她女兒的情況，我聽得出她語氣裏的擔憂。
“來吧。隻有一個星期。”我說。妞妞的爸爸和爺爺奶奶都在家，他們可以照顧她7天，我心想。
“如果我離開，我的公婆會怎麽想?”我理解她的擔心。什麽樣的媽媽會為了自己的快樂而離開自己年幼的孩子?我曾經也有過同樣的感覺。
“告訴他們這是你姐姐送你的禮物，你必須接受。當你回去的時候，會成為一個更好的媽媽。”聽到電話裏的停頓，我抬起眼睛望著天花板，她知道這有多好嗎?這是一整套的服務! 往返機票，數千美元的S舞蹈靜修，還包含翻譯費。
歎了口氣，凝視著桌子對麵，我可以想象自己告訴她的樣子：“我隻想和你一起分享這段旅程!!這些年我一直很想你!!” 可是話卻說不出來的。
打了幾個電話後，她終於同意來，我急切地為我倆訂了一間套房。自1998年我第一次回國以來，這是我們第一次以成年人的身份同床共枕。躺在同一張床上總是讓我想起彼此的童年，那時我們像膠水一樣粘在一起。
2006年，我第二次回國的時候，妹妹已經結婚了。她沒有給我發請柬，但婚禮結束後，她給我寄了一些漂亮的婚紗照，穿著古代和現代不同的中國禮服。她沒有邀請我，不是因為我不受歡迎，而是因為我們的生活被海洋、8000英裏的距離和一些家族原因分開了幾十年。在最初的幾年裏，當時隻有信件，我盡職盡責地給父母寫信，讓他們放心，並報告我的進展。通過這些信件，她對我和我的美國生活的了解比我對她的了解還要多。
當天一到酒店，我就在酒店房間裏為一位白金姐妹會員舉辦了一個令人驚喜的生日派對。下午，房間裏充滿了興奮的來自中國的女士們的歡笑、閑聊、五顏六色的連衣裙和自拍。當我忙著照顧客人的時候——或者，如果我誠實地說，是在炫耀我自己——妹妹靜靜地呆在角落裏。聚會結束，所有人都離開後，我突然意識到我一次都沒看她。我是個多麽糟糕的姐姐啊!我真想踢自己一腳。
我立即拿出我的黑色手提箱，在我們的床上打開它。當我意識到自己的女性特質時，我真的很想帶上我的小妹妹。我為自己在努力生活的時候拋棄了她而感到內疚，我想要彌補，與她分享一切。
“你喜歡什麽就挑什麽。”我開始把不同的內衣拿出來，鋪在床上。我為這次靜修買了一些新衣服，大部分都是黑色配紅色的。黑色給人一種叛逆和自由的感覺，紅色是我的冠軍色，是勇氣的顏色。
這麽多年過去了，我妹妹一點都沒變。她還是像個可愛的鄰家女孩。“明天你將和所有的中國白金會員一起，每個人都像你一樣是新手。你會沒事的。”我向她保證。
第二天，她下課後回到我們的酒店房間，更加興奮了。
“老師說我今天跳的很好!”明天我們要分組跳舞。”她的聲音裏夾雜著興奮和緊張。但是，我看到她的眼睛閃閃發光。”姐姐，你能幫我練習一下嗎?”她指的是回家作業，第一個就是練習舞蹈。
“當然! !”我笑了。她正在敞開心扉，女性特質運作的魅力，我知道就會這樣!
我和她一起在地板上，開始練習舞蹈：滑動、爬行、翻滾。上次這麽親密，還是在山東，我們是孩子的時候，她兩歲，我六歲。我教她如何用一根大針和一根長線把落葉串起來，作為家裏爐子裏的柴火。挑，戳，推。一想到妹妹跑來跑去，用絲線拉扯龍形樹葉的樣子，我的心裏就會燃起燦爛的微笑。誰能想到近40年後，我們會在地板上，一起喚醒我們的身體和女性能量?
靜修的最後一天，我們被要求穿泳衣。在彩色可水洗的顏料中翻轉，我們用自己的手、腳、胸部和臀部在大白色畫布上創造了一個個獨特的身體藝術品。我穿著比基尼，在海裏嬉戲，把油漆洗掉，我妹妹穿了一件連體式的、遮蓋得很好的平角褲式泳衣。
然後回酒店房間的路上，神奇的事情發生了。一個同學攔住我們，提出要給我們姐妹倆拍幾張照片。正是這些照片，讓我發現了一個完全不同的女人。一個性感、自信、神秘、充滿異國情調的女人，她的身體大聲而大膽地說話。我簡直不敢相信這個女人是我的妹妹!
透過我妹妹，我了解到並不是衣服幫助我們真正改變。不管我們開放或保守，不管我們穿了多少層衣服還是幾乎什麽都沒有，她的能量從身體裏麵釋放出來。
整整 100 年前，也就是 1915 年，我們的外祖母出生了。五歲之前，她的腳就被永久地裹住了。如果外祖母今天看到我們解開女性的束縛，她會怎麽說呢?
傳遞給大家滿滿的愛
偉麗
March 2015, Hawaii:
My little sister flew in from Shanghai. I flew in from Orlando. She didn’t know what to expect but I was super excited since it took a long time to convince her to come on this adventure with me.
A month ago on the phone:
“What about Nini? I need to be home for her.” She asked regarding her daughter. I could even hear the worry in her tone.
“Come on. It’s only a week.” Plus, Nini has her dad and grandparents at home. They can take care of her for 7 days. I thought to myself.
“What would my in-laws think of me leaving?” I understood her concern. What kind of mom will leave her young child for her own pleasure? I had felt the same in the past.
“Tell them it’s a gift from your big sister that you must accept. You will be a better mom when you go back.” Hearing the pause on the line, I raise my eyes to the ceiling, Does she understand how good this is? It’s the whole package! Round trip airline tickets, thousands of dollars for an S factor retreat, and fees for a translator.
Sighing and staring across the table, I could almost imagine myself telling her, I just want to share the journey with you!! I have missed you for all these years!! But the words won’t come out.
After a couple of calls, she finally agreed to come and I eagerly booked a suite for the two of us. This would be the first time we share a bed as adults ever since 1998, the first time I visited China. Being in the same bed always reminds me of our childhood when we were still stuck together like glue.
In 2006, when I visited home the 2nd time, my sister had already gotten married. She didn’t send me an invitation but after the wedding, she mailed me beautiful wedding photos in different clothes from both ancient and modern China. She didn’t invite me not because I wasn’t welcome, but because our lives had been separated for decades, by the ocean, the 8,000 miles, and some family history. During the early years, when there was only snail mail, I dutifully wrote to my parents reassuring them and reporting my progress. Through reading these letters, she knew more about my American Dream life and me than I ever knew about hers.
Upon arriving, I threw a surprise birthday party for a Plat sister in our hotel room. By afternoon, the room was full of excitement from Chinese ladies laughing, chitchatting, colorful dresses, and selfies. While I was busy taking care of the guests – or if I was being honest, showing off my knowledge -- my sister lingered quietly in the corner. After the party ended and everyone left, I suddenly realized I didn’t check on her once. What an awful sister I am! I wanted to kick myself.
I immediately pulled out my black suitcase and opened it on our bed. As I was awakening to my femininity, I really wanted to take my little sister with me. Feeling guilty that I had abandoned her while trying to live my life, I wanted to make it up and share everything with her.
“Pick whatever you like.” I started to take different pieces of lingerie out and spread them on the bed. There were new pieces I bought for this retreat, most black with reds. Black feels rebellious and tastes like freedom and red is my champion color, the color of courage.
Wow, my sister hasn’t changed after all these years. She still acts like the sweet girl next door. “Tomorrow you’ll be in the Baby’s class with all the Chinese Plats, everyone will be newbies like you. You will be totally fine.” I assured her.
The next day, she came back to our hotel room after her class much more excited.
“Teacher said that I did well today! We are asked to dance in groups tomorrow.” Her voice was nervousness mixed with excitement. But, I noticed a sparkle in her eyes. ”Sis, could you please help me practice?” She was referring to her homework, each Baby had to learn the dance routine as their first assignment.
“Sure!! ” I laughed. She is opening up. The magic of feminine movement. I knew it would happen!
I got on the floor with her and we started to practice the dance routine together: slide, crawl, roll. The last time we were this close, we were children back in Shandong. She was two and I was six. I was teaching her how to use a big needle and long thread to string fallen leaves to use as firewood for our furnace at home. Pick, Poke, Push. The image of my little sister running around, pulling dragon-shaped leaves on thread always lights a big smile on my heart. Who would have thought nearly 40 years later, we will be both on the floor, waking up our bodies and feminine energy together?
On the last day of the retreat, we were asked to wear swimsuits. After rolling in colorful washable paints, we used our hands, feet, breasts, and butts to create a unique body-artwork on our own large white canvases. Splashing around in the ocean to wash the paint off, I wore a bikini and my sister brought a one-piece, well-covered, boyshorts style swimsuit.
Then on the way back to the hotel room, something magical happened. A classmate stopped us and offered to take some photos of the two sisters. It was through these photos, I discovered a completely different woman. A sexy, confident, mysterious and exotic woman. Her body spoke loud and bold. I could hardly believe this woman was my little sister!
Through my sister, I learned it isn’t really the clothes that help us transform. It doesn’t matter how revealing or conservative we are or how many layers we have versus having none at all. It is about the energy being unbound from within.
Exactly 100 years ago, in 1915, our grandma was born. Before the age of five, her feet were permanently bound. What would grandma say if she saw us unbinding our feminine bodies today?
Love,
WeiLi
我最近剛剛寫了一首雙語小詩《你的樣子 Your Look》，表達了同樣的理念，借助視頻的方式演繹了配樂詩朗誦，歡迎你到我的博客雅臨點評，謝謝。