隨筆
隨筆，聊天
THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES
1) During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip
club at least once.
2) Most dogs are immortal.
3) If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing
St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
4) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit
level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
6) The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
7) If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition
- even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
8) You are likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake
of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
9) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not
be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
10) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
11) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
12) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through
it before long.
13) The Chief of Police is always black.
14) Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
15) The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give
him 48 hours to finish the job.
16) Middle Ages peasants had perfect teeth.
17) Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
18) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
19) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving
martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one
by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their
predecessors.
20) Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure
they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
21) Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -
unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
