英語與文化
一個學英語與知識的博客
7 Signs Your Parents Are Emotionally Immature
1. They are insensitive to your feelings
他們對你的感受不敏感
Do your parents refuse to put effort into understanding you and seeing things from your point of view?
你父母拒絕盡力理解你並從你的觀點來看問題嗎？
Instead of being considerate and empathetic, your parents don't seem to care about your feelings at all.
非關懷和具同理心，你父母看上去根本不關心你的感受。
They don't think about how their words or actions might affect you or how it might make you feel.
他們不考慮他們的言語或行為給你帶來的影響或感受。
They expect you to be grateful and go along with everything they want because they say it's for your own good.
他們期望你感激並讚同任何事，因為他們說這是為你好。
2. They take their problems out on you
他們因自己的問題而向你發泄
Do you find yourself walking on eggshells around your parents when they've had a bad day?
當你父母這天過得很糟糕，你會覺得自己戰戰兢兢，如履薄冰嗎？（像走在蛋殼上嗎）？
Instead of being calm, rational（理性的）, and level-headed(頭腦冷靜的）, your parents are defensive, easily frustrated and they lose their temper a lot.
你的父母並不安詳、冷靜、頭腦冷靜，而是防禦性的，容易沮喪和發脾氣。
They don't know how to keep their feelings in check, so they take their anger and frustration out on you.
take out on sb: 對某人發泄
他們不知道如何檢視自己的情緒，於是把他們的怒氣向你發泄。
parents who are emotionally mature know how to control their feelings rather than letting their feelings control them.
情感成熟的父母知道如何控製他們的情緒而不是讓他們的情緒控製他們。
3. They demand too much from you
他們對你要求太多
Do your parents make you feel like nothing you do will ever be enough for them?
你父母讓你 感覺你做的一切對他們來說都不夠？
They set impossible goals for you and then make you feel guilty for failing to live up to their unrealistically high expectations.
live up to: 不辜負、做到 （fail to live up to：辜負、沒有做到）
他們為你設立了不可能達到的目標，讓你因為辜負了他們不現實的高期望而內疚。
parents who are emotionally mature on the other hand, understand that it's the effort and not the outcome that matters.
而情感成熟的父母知道努力比結果更重要。
You don't need to be the smartest, most athletic, or most accomplished to make them proud.
你不需要是最聰明的，最強壯的，或最成功的來讓他們驕傲。
4. They are quick to point fingers
他們不加思索地指責你
Your parents blame you for everything. A mark of emotional maturity is when you learn to hold yourself accountable and to take responsibility for your actions.
你父母對任何事都指責你。一個感情成熟人的標記是，你學會為你的行為承擔責任。
So, if your parents always put the blame on others when things go wrong, it's a sign that they may be emotionally immature.
put the blame on others 把責任推給別人，甩鍋別人
如果你的父母總在事情錯時把責任推給別人，說明他們的情感不成熟。
You will never hear them say:" It's my fault" or "I know I made a mistake" because in their eyes they can do no wrong.
你從來不會聽他們說：“這是我的錯”或者“我知道我犯了個錯誤”。因為在他們眼裏他們不會犯錯。
5. They are not aware of their own flaws
他們對自己的缺點不察覺
Do your parents think they're always right and that you should always listen to them?
你父母認為他們永遠是對的，你應該永遠聽他們的嗎？
They may be judgmental（主觀臆斷）, closed-minded（思想封閉的） and unaware of their own shortcomings.
他們有可能主觀臆斷的，思想封閉的，不察覺自己的缺陷。
Those who are emotionally immature fail to see that they could be wrong sometimes or that they might not know everything.
他們沒有認識到他們可能犯錯或者他們也可能不懂任何事。
Because of this, they instill a lot of self-doubt and feelings of dependency in their children, making them think that speaking up or standing up for themselves is wrong.
由此，他們對他們的孩子灌輸了很多自我懷疑和依賴的感受，讓他們覺得大膽為自己說話是錯的。
6. They are too controlling of you
他們對你控製太多
Are your parents rigid, stubborn and overbearing?
你的父母古板、固執、專橫嗎？
They have their values and ideals that they expect you to live by.
They don't allow you to disagree with their choices or question their judgment.
他們有自己的價值觀和想法希望你遵從。他們不允許你不同意他們的選擇或質疑他們的判斷。
Because of this: your self-esteem becomes dependent on their approval of you and you feel the need to hide certain aspects of yourself and fear。
因此，你的自尊變得依賴於他們的肯定，你覺得有隱藏你某些方麵的自己和恐懼的需要。
7. They have low stress tolerance
他們對壓力忍受力低
Another mark of emotional maturity is a person's willingness to be flexible and to adapt to their situation.
對於情感成熟的人來說的一個標記是，他的願望是靈活的並能適應環境。
But if your parents have low-stress tolerance, they're likely to be rigid and overbearing.
但如果你的父母具有低壓力耐受力的話，他們可能是古板的和專橫的。
They don't cope well when their plans fall apart or when things don't go the way they expected.
當他們的計劃泡湯或者事情不是他們預期的那樣時，他們應對不好。
It's hard for them to accept when you want something for yourself, that's different from what they want for you.
對他們來說，很難接受當你想為自己要一些和他們對你的預期不一樣的東西。
公眾號：英語與文化
