約翰·洛克的教育思想(中英對照)-13: 克製奢求

CRAVING ｜ 1. That a child should never be suffered to have what he craves, much less what he cries for, I had said, or so much as speaks for. But that being apt to be misunderstood, and interpreted as if I meant a child should never speak to his parents for any thing, which will perhaps be thought to lay too great a curb on the minds of children, to the prejudice of that love and affection which should be between them and their parents; I shall explain myself a little more particularly. It is fit that they should have liberty to declare their wants to their parents, and that with all tenderness they should be hearkened to, and supplied, at least, whilst they are very little. But it is one thing to say, I am hungry; another to say, I would have roast-meat. Having declared their wants, their natural wants, the pain they feel from hunger, thirst, cold, or any other necessity of nature, it is the duty of their parents, and those about them, to relieve them: but children must leave it to the choice and ordering of their parents what they think properest for them, and how much; and must not be permitted to choose for themselves, and say, I would have wine, or white bread; the very naming of it should make them lose it.

懇求 ｜ 1. 我說過，小孩不能得到他懇求的東西，或者進一步說，他哭鬧要求的就更不應該給。但是這會引起誤解，人們會以為我主張小孩不能向父母要求任何東西，覺得這會過於抑製孩子的精神，以至於傷害孩子與父母間的喜愛和感情；我應該更明確地解釋清楚。至少當孩子很小的時候，他們可以自由地向父母表達他們的需要，而且父母要溫柔地傾聽和滿足他們的要求，這是合理的。但是，說“我餓了”是一回事，說“我要吃烤肉”是另一回事。小孩表達他們的需要，他們的自然需要，他們的父母和他們周圍的人有責任解除他們從饑餓、幹渴、寒冷或者任何傾聽自然需求引起的痛苦；但是孩子應該讓他們的父母來選擇決定什麽對他們最適合，多少對他們最適合；他們不能自己選擇，說“我要酒或者白麵包”；他們隻要指明要什麽，就不給他們什麽。

That which parents should take care of here, is to distinguish between the wants of fancy and those of nature; which Horace has well taught them to do in this verse,

父母這裏應該關心的是區分欲望的需要與自然的需要；賀瑞斯 (Horace)在下麵這句詩裏教得很明白，

 
”Queis humana sibi doleat natura negatis.”

“超過自然需要的，都是奢侈。”

Those are truly natural wants, which reason alone, without some other help, is not able to fence against, nor keep from disturbing us. The pains of sickness and hurts, hunger, thirst, and cold, want of sleep and rest, or relaxation of the part wearied with labour, are what all men feel, and the best disposed mind cannot but be sensible of their uneasiness; and therefore ought, by fit applications, to seek their removal, though not with impatience, or over-great haste, upon the first approaches of them, where delay does not threaten some irreparable harm. The pains that come from the necessities of nature, are monitors to us to beware of greater mischiefs, which they are the forerunners of; and therefore they must not be wholly neglected, nor strained too far. But yet, the more children can be inured to hardships of this kind, by a wise care to make them stronger in body and mind, the better it will be for them. I need not here give any caution to keep within the bounds of doing them good, and to take care, that what children are made to suffer should neither break their spirits, nor injure their health; parents being but too apt of themselves to incline, more than they should, to the softer side.

那些真正自然需要的，沒有別的幫助，理智不可能單獨阻攔，也不可能使其不打攪我們。疾病、傷害、饑餓、寒冷、缺乏睡眠與休息、或者勞累的部分肢體缺少放鬆，這些痛苦是所有人都能感受到的，就是最健康的心靈也會感覺到不舒服；所以要用合適的方式消除它們，但是不要焦躁或過於匆忙，隻要在它們剛發生時就處理，稍微耽誤一點也不會發生不可彌補的危害。從自然需要引起的疼痛，是一種監測器可以警告我們當心更大的傷害，疼痛是它們的預兆；所以我們不能完全忽視，但也不要過度緊張。然而，通過明智的關愛使孩子身心更強健，他們就愈能忍受這種痛苦，對他們就愈有好處。這裏我不需要提醒要在對他們有益的範圍內進行，小心不讓小孩所受的痛苦摧毀他們的精神，或者損害他們的健康；父母自己一般過於傾向更溫和的一麵。

But whatever compliance the necessities of nature may require, the wants of fancy children should never be gratified in, nor suffered to mention. The very speaking for any such thing should make them lose it. Clothes, when they need, they must have; but if they speak for this stuff, or that colour, they should be sure to go without it. Not that I would have parents purposely cross the desires of their children in matters of indifferency: on the contrary, where their carriage deserves it, and one is sure it will not corrupt or effeminate their minds, and make them fond of trifles, I think, all things should be contrived, as much as could be, to their satisfaction, that they might find the ease and pleasure of doing well. The best for children is, that they should not place any pleasure in such things at all, nor regulate their delight by their fancies; but be indifferent to all that nature has made so. This is what their parents and teachers should chiefly aim at: but till this be obtained, all that I oppose here, is the liberty of asking; which, in these things of conceit, ought to be restrained by a constant forfeiture annexed to it.

不管自然的需求要如何滿足，小孩的奢望決不可滿足，甚至連提都不要提。他們一說到這種東西，就該讓他們失去它。當他們需要衣服時，他們就應該得到；但是如果他們要求這種材料、或那種顏色，他們就該得不到。我並不是讓父母在無關緊要的事情上故意與孩子的願望對立；相反，隻要是他們的行為舉止應得的，而且那肯定不會敗壞或弄脆弱他們的精神，不會使他們熱中於細枝末節，我認為在一切事上都要盡量讓他們滿足，使他們感到做事成功帶來的輕鬆與快樂。最好是小孩根本不從這些事上尋找快樂，也不以奢欲來控製他們的喜樂；對於所有自然已經安排好的，卻毫不在意。父母和老師應該力求做到這一點；但是在做到這一點之前，我所反對的隻是小孩提要求的自由；在他們欲求的事情上，要用一貫的拒絕來約束。

This may perhaps be thought a little too severe, by the natural indulgence of tender parents: but yet it is no more than necessary. For since the method I propose is to banish the rod, this restraint of their tongues will be of great use to settle that awe we have elsewhere spoken of, and to keep up in them the respect and reverence due to their parents. Next, it will teach them to keep in, and so master their inclinations. By this means they will be brought to learn the art of stifling their desires, as soon as they rise up in them, when they are easiest to be subdued. For giving vent, gives life and strength to our appetites; and he that has the confidence to turn his wishes into demands, will be but a little way from thinking he ought to obtain them. This I am sure of, every one can more easily bear a denial from himself, than from any body else. They should therefore be accustomed betimes to consult and make use of their reason, before they give allowance to their inclinations. It is a great step towards the mastery of our desires, to give this stop to them, and shut them up in silence. This habit, got by children, of staying the forwardness of their fancies, and deliberating whether it be fit or no before they speak, will be of no small advantage to them in matters of greater consequence in the future course of their lives. For that which I cannot too often inculcate, is that whatever the matter be, about which it is conversant, whether great or small, the main (I had almost said only) thing to be considered, in every action of a child, is, what influence it will have upon his mind; what habit it tends to, and is like to settle in him; how it will become him when he is bigger; and, if it be encouraged, whither it will lead him when grown up.

慈愛的父母由於天性放任，也許會認為這種方法有點過於嚴厲：然而這並沒有超出必須的要求。因為我提倡禁用鞭笞，這種限製他們提要求的方法很有用處，它可以幫助建立我們別處提到的小孩畏懼父母之心，也讓他們保持對父母應有的尊重與崇敬。進而它可以教導他們克製與掌控他們的意向。因此他們可以學會壓製自己欲望的技巧，就是在欲望剛剛產生、還最容易製伏時候去壓製。因為欲望有釋放的地方，就會變得活躍與強烈；那有信心把願望變成要求的人，差不多覺得他理應得到滿足。我確信這一點，就是相對於別人的拒絕，每個人更能承受自己的拒絕。所以在放任他們的欲求之前，小孩應該及早習慣於征詢和運用自己的理智。阻止欲望，悄悄地不讓它們說出來，是控製我們欲望的一個重要步驟。小孩如果習慣止住他們欲望的膨脹，在開口提出要求之前仔細考慮那是不是合適，對他們將來生活中關係重大的事情是有不小的益處的。對此我不能不再三叮囑，不管事情是什麽、是不是密切相關、大小如何，我們應該主要 (我幾乎要說是唯一)考慮的是，小孩的每個行為對他的心理有什麽影響，會導致他養成什麽樣的習慣，當他長大了是不是對他合宜；而且如果加以提倡，當他長大成人它會把他引向何方。

My meaning therefore is not, that children should purposely be made uneasy: this would relish too much of inhumanity and ill-nature, and be apt to infect them with it. They should be brought to deny their appetites; and their minds, as well as bodies, be made vigorous, easy, and strong, by the custom of having their inclinations in subjection, and their bodies exercised with hardships; but all this without giving them any mark or apprehension of ill-will towards them. The constant loss of what they craved or carved to themselves should teach them modesty, submission, and a power to forbear: but the rewarding their modesty and silence, by giving them what they liked, should also assure them of the love of those who rigorously exacted this obedience. The contenting themselves now, in the want of what they wished for, is a virtue, that another time should be rewarded with what is suited and acceptable to them; which should be bestowed on them, as if it were a natural consequence of their good behaviour, and not a bargain about it. But you will lose your labour, and, what is more, their love and reverence too, if they can receive from others what you deny them. This is to be kept very staunch, and carefully to be watched. And here the servants come again in my way.

所以我的意思並不是故意為難小孩：這是不人道與惡毒的，會讓小孩受其傳染。他們應該拒絕自己的欲望；並且通過習於抑製自己的欲求和使自己的身體經曆困苦，把他們的精神與身體都弄得有活力、輕鬆和強壯；但這總不要讓他們感受到任何惡意。他們常常得不到自己懇求與刻意追求的東西，可以教他們學會謙遜、順從與忍耐；但是應該用他們喜愛的東西去獎勵他們的謙遜與靜默，使他們明白那些嚴格要求他們這樣服從的人，也是愛他們的。他們現在能安於得不到自己期盼的東西，這是一種美德，日後應該用對他們合適而又合他們心意的東西來獎勵他們；這應該作為他們良好行為的自然結果給予他們，而不是作為一種交換條件。但是如果他們能從別人那裏得到你所拒絕的東西，那你的努力就白費了，進而你也失去他們對你的愛與尊重。這應該堅決地製止，小心地留意。這裏我又想到了仆人的問題。

CURIOSITY ｜ If this be begun by times, and they accustom themselves early to silence their desires, this useful habit will settle them; and as they come to grow up in age and discretion, they may be allowed greater liberty, when reason comes to speak in them, and not passion. For whenever reason would speak, it should be hearkened to. But, as they should never be heard, when they speak for any particular thing they would have, unless it be first proposed to them; so they should always be heard, and fairly and kindly answered, when they ask after any thing they would know, and desire to be informed about. Curiosity should be as carefully cherished in children, as other appetites suppressed.

好奇心 ｜  如果這能及時開始，他們能早早地習於壓製自己欲望，這個有益的習慣可以使他們安定下來；當他們年紀和判斷力都增長，憑藉理智而不是激情來行事，他們就可以有更大的自由。因為理智所指示都應該聽從。但是當他們提出任何特別的要求，如果那不是你首先向他們提議的，就不要聽他們的；然而當他們詢問任何他們想知道的事情，期望被開導，那就應該隨時聽取他們的問題，清楚而誠實地回答他們。孩子的其它欲望要壓製，但他們的好奇心應該小心地珍惜愛護。

RECREATION ｜ However strict an hand is to be kept upon all desires of fancy, yet there is one case wherein fancy must be permitted to speak, and be hearkened to also. Recreation is as necessary as labour or food. But because there can be no recreation without delight, which depends not always on reason, but oftner fancy, it must be permitted children not only to divert themselves, but to do it after their own fashion, provided it be innocently, and without prejudice to their health; and therefore in this case they should not be denied, if they proposed any particular kind of recreation. Though I think in a well-ordered education, they will seldom be brought to the necessity of asking any such liberty. Care should be taken, that what is of advantage to them, they should always do with delight; and before they are wearied with one, they should be timely diverted to some other useful employment. But if they are not yet brought to that degree of perfection, that one way of improvement can be made a recreation to them, they must be let loose to the childish play they fancy; which they should be weaned from by being made to surfeit of it. But from things of use, that they are employed in, they should always be sent away with an appetite; at least be dismissed before they are tired, and grow quite sick of it, that so they may return to it again, as to a pleasure that diverts them. For you must never think them set right, till they can find delight in the practice of laudable things; and the useful exercises of the body and mind, taking their turns, make their lives and improvement pleasant in a continued train of recreations, wherein the wearied part is constantly relieved and refreshed. Whether this can be done in every temper, or whether tutors and parents will be at the pains, and have the discretion and patience to bring them to this, I know not; but that it may be done in most children, if a right course be taken to raise in them the desire of credit, esteem, and reputation, I do not at all doubt. And when they have so much true life put into them, they may freely be talked with about what most delights them, and be directed or let loose to it; so that they may perceive that they are beloved and cherished, and that those under whose tuition they are, are not enemies to their satisfaction. Such a management will make them in love with the hand that directs them, and the virtue they are directed to.

娛樂 |  雖然所有喜好欲求都應該嚴格禁止，但有一個喜好事例必須允許小孩訴求，並且注意傾聽。娛樂與勞作或食物一樣是必要的。但是因為沒有任何娛樂不帶有快樂，而快樂並不一直依靠理性，它更經常地依靠喜好，所以不僅要允許孩子自尋娛樂，還要讓他們按自己的方式去娛樂，隻要這娛樂是無害的，不會損害他們的健康；所以在這種情形下，如果他們提議任何特別的娛樂方式，我們不能拒絕他們的要求。雖然我認為在有良好條理的教育中，他們很少需要去要求這樣的自由。我們要當心，對他們有益的，他們應該總是高高興興地去做；而且在他們厭倦做某件事之前，應該及時轉移他們的注意力去做別的有益的事情。但是如果他們還不能達到那完美的程度，也就是把進步當作一種娛樂消遣，那就應該放手讓他們玩他們喜好的幼稚遊戲，讓他們玩個夠，使他們不想再玩。而他們正在從事的那些有益的事情，他們應該在仍留有欲望的時候放下不做；至少在他們厭倦與很討厭它之前就不讓他們做了，當他們回頭再做時，仍如回到一件使他們愉悅的快樂事情。因為你決不能認為他們已經走上正途，除非他們能從正從事的高尚事業找到樂趣，他們的身心都有機會得到有益的練習，使他們在一連串的娛樂中生活與進步都很快樂，其中疲乏的部分總能得到放鬆休息。這是不是對每一種性格都奏效，或者是不是導師與父母都肯努力，都慎重和耐心地使小孩達到這種境界，這我不太清楚；但是如果運用正確的途徑使小孩追求信任、尊重與名譽，那大多數孩子可以達到這種境界，這我是毫不懷疑的。而且當他們有了很多真實的生活經曆，就可以與他們談論那些使他們最愉快的事情，對其進行指導或是予以放任；這樣他們會感受到自己所受的鍾愛與珍視，明白那些教導他們的人並不是反對他們得到滿足的敵人。這樣的管教會使他們喜愛那些指教他們的人，也會熱愛他們被指引要取得的美德。

This farther advantage may be made by a free liberty permitted them in their recreations, that it will discover their natural tempers, show their inclinations and aptitudes, and thereby direct wise parents in the choice, both of the course of life and employment they shall design them for, and of fit remedies, in the mean time, to be applied to whatever bent of nature they may observe most likely to mislead any of their children.

允許小孩在娛樂消遣有自由，這還有更進一步的益處，就是可以發現他們天生的脾性，看出他們的傾向與能力，由此可以指導父母為他們選擇預計的生活與事業的道路，同時為小孩本性中最可能使其誤入歧途的嗜好，找到合適的補救方法。

2. COMPLAINTS | Children who live together, often strive for mastery, whose wills shall carry it over the rest: whoever begins the contest, should be sure to be crossed in it. But not only that, but they should be taught to have all the deference, complaisance, and civility one for the other imaginable. This, when they see it procures them respect, love and esteem, and that they lose no superiority by it, they will take more pleasure in, than in insolent domineering; for so plainly is the other.

2. 抱怨 |  生活在一起的小孩，常常爭作主宰，以自己的意誌來支配其餘的人；無論是誰開始的爭鬥，一定要製止他。不僅如此，還要盡量教他們尊重、體諒、以及相互間的禮貌。當他們看到這可以為他們贏得尊敬、愛與欽佩，而他們的地位不會因此受損，他們就會更高興這樣做，而不是喜歡傲慢地支使人；因為事實是明顯相反的。

The accusations of children one against another, which usually are but the clamours of anger and revenge, desiring aid, should not be favourably received nor hearkened to. It weakens and effeminates their minds to suffer them to complain; and if they endure sometimes crossing or pain from others without being permitted to think it strange or intolerable, it will do them no harm to learn sufferance, and harden them early. But though you give no countenance to the complaints of the querulous, yet take care to curb the insolence and ill nature of the injurious. When you observe it yourself, reprove it before the injured party: but if the complaint be of something really worth your notice and prevention another time, then reprove the offender by himself alone, out of sight of him that complained, and make him go and ask pardon, and make reparation. Which coming thus, as it were from himself, will be the more cheerfully performed, and more kindly received, the love strengthened between them, and a custom of civility grow familiar amongst your children.

小孩相互間的指控攻擊，一般隻是憤怒與報複的呼喊，想要得到幫助，不應該爽快地接受或傾聽。抱怨訴苦會使他們的精神脆弱無力；如果他們能夠忍受不時的從別人那兒來的幹擾和痛苦，不覺得陌生或不堪忍受，這樣他們能早早地學會忍耐，變得堅強，對他們是沒有害處的。雖然你不鼓勵發牢騷的人的抱怨，你還是應該抑製害人者的粗魯與惡劣。如果你親眼看到事情發生，你應該當著受害者的麵加以斥責；如果被抱怨的事情真的值得你的注意，為防止再次發生，你該單獨責備冒犯者，被讓抱怨的人看見，叫他去請求原諒，並且加以補償。這樣一來，就象出於他的自願，可以更樂意地去實行，也更客氣地被接受，他們之間的愛得以增強，禮貌習慣會在你的孩子中間變得常見。

 

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)