作者：Gardiner Spring(1785—1873) 來源：古舊福音
I.
1. 順服權柄
神的話語一次又一次呼召要求我們順服權柄。如果有一個地方，在其中這呼召是特別實在肯定的，那麽這個地方就是家庭。培養這種順服習慣的家庭是幸福的家庭。
神把孩子的童年和青年期交給父母控製。如果倒轉了這種充滿智慧和仁愛的安排，我們孩子在現今和永世裏的最大利益就必然要受到破壞。這種安排可以保守一個孩子免於上千種的邪惡。
思想父母期望的靈－很猶豫去侵犯父母的權柄，寧願犧牲自己的滿足— 這種靈是能夠保護青年人品格最有力的其中一種盾牌。
事實上，這種順服的靈可以幫助帶來幼年的純潔。不是每一個順服的孩子都是純潔，但肯定的是這樣的孩子，而不是那有倔強，不肯屈從的脾氣的孩子，是更有可能成為一個純潔的人。
2. 對誠實有一種神聖的看重
對誠實有一種神聖的看重，這也是一種重要的習慣。孩子的品格差別是多麽的大! 一些人極少，甚至不撒謊，而一些人似乎生下來就有一張說謊的舌頭。看到幼年誇大和講假話的習慣是如何牢牢纏繞著一個人的品格，這是一件多麽可怕的事情。
撒謊是攔阻成為聖潔，上天堂的何等堅固的障礙! 父母必須教導孩子永遠說誠實話的極大重要性。他們必須要看到，如果他們讓誠實，或讓謊言帶領他們，那麽愛，信心，尊榮 － 或者厭惡，不信和羞恥就必然會跟隨著他們。每一句假話， 每一個掩飾， 每一個誇大， 每一個被破壞的承諾隻會使心變得剛硬。它要燃燒良心，為新的誘惑開另一條門路。
另一方麵 — 誠實，完全的誠實 — 帶著它的單一和可愛 — 構成了各樣道德美德的基礎。
3. 勤奮的習慣
我們是否看重我們孩子最大的利益? 我們要預備他們去做某種有用的工作。勤奮的習慣對孩子智力和道德品格都有好的影響。許多孩子迷失了自己 — 對自己，對他的家庭，對世界，對神迷失了自己，是因為他除了放縱自己以外沒有什麽別的事情可做。但是許多的人被拯救脫離羞恥和敗壞，被指向勤奮，成就和幸福，很簡單就是因為他們沒有什麽時間可以用在娛樂之上。
在這裏，當我們講到努力工作，我們是否在反對精煉我們的孩子？當然不是 — 我們不想隻是預備我們的孩子有極大的成就。有禮和文雅對品格也有很好的影響。但是把勤奮工作的習慣和這些結合在一起，你就擁有一種真正強大的力量。
4. 節製
節製 是和良好的教育分不開的。每一個世代都會給沒有節製的人帶來新的和不同的試探，如果一個孩子不能節製，就不要指望他長大可以成為聖潔，受人尊重。在思想，言語和行為上沒有節製，很簡單這就是一種放縱。
一個不受管束，不受限製的孩子，在一段時間裏可能會闖過生活的顛簸攔阻，但最終愁苦和敗壞必然會臨到他身上。
健康，理智，品格，有所作為，安適，財富，良知和靈魂 — 所有這些在“不加節製之神”的殿裏是何等容易被犧牲掉。孩子的思想是通向他的心的門戶，我們的孩子在悔改，禱告和去愛之前，必須要清晰地去思想，體會和考慮。
如果全地的神命定了父母去直接監護他們孩子的幸福，美德和盼望，我們就當小心，我們是否把不加節製的種子撒在幼年孩子的身上，在童年時加以培養。它們是生命力茂盛的種子，多多結果，帶來死亡。
5. 選擇交友
父母應當對他們孩子的選擇交友加以留意，要在這方麵教導他們智慧。這不可能總是在父母的控製之下，但至少我們可以教導他們對他們的朋友要有分辨力。
這個原則有兩個方麵。第一，家庭是神賜予我們的最重要的人際關係。 我們怎樣處理其他人際關係，這是直接受我們如何與我們家裏人相處影響的。
這個原則的第二個方麵就是要認識到其他人是如何影響我們的。我們朋友中閑懶，惡毒，無知或懷疑的傾向常常會影響我們，不利於我們的信念。我們有時候認識不到這種影響。罪是傳染性的 —如果每一個人都在犯罪，這看起來就沒有什麽不妥。我們應當鼓勵孩子逃離這些傾向，活著作神義的兒女。
正是在親密朋友的當中，榜樣勸服人，印證鼓勵人，勸勉促進人，奉承欺騙人，取笑嘲弄人。在朋友當中孩子身上一切社交性的，富同情心的方麵都被壓製成型去服事良善或邪惡。
“與智慧人同行的，必得智慧。和愚昧人作伴的，必受虧損”—箴 13:20。 許多父母看著他們的希望在這樣的朋友圈子裏消亡。
可能的話，我們的孩子最好是在家裏得到休息放鬆，甚至被差遣雇用。無論他們在哪裏，他們的娛樂都絕不可使一個管理得很好和敬虔的家庭遭人非議。
這意味著父母可能需要自我放棄一些物質上的享受。在我們現今的富足環境中這是不是不可思議? 如果因著一些犧牲你可以為你的孩子買來熱愛家庭的習慣，還有什麽會是代價太高的呢? 那些在感情上最依附在家裏的家庭是得到最好的教育，彰顯出最有道德的感情的家庭。很快我們的孩子就會擴展他們的疆界，超出家庭之外。
盡管我們不應當完全與世隔離，但是每一個家庭都應該是自成一係的一個小小世界。 對早年生活形象和友情的光明，強烈的熱愛，這可以非常容易把感情豐富的孩子吸引離開試探。這種情感把他與家庭綁在一起，所以不管一個孩子可能會離開你的控製有多遠，隻要這種感情在他裏麵活動，發光，他對家庭的愛就能保守他不致跌倒。
6. 正確看待世界和世界的文化
孩子最看重些什麽？父母應當認真教導孩子如何去看待這個世界和這世界的文化。 許多謹慎，甚至是敬虔的父母都會鼓勵孩子過分熱情追求世界的高升。這個充滿競爭的世界的靈是如此根深蒂固存在於我們充滿焦慮的父母的思想裏。我們追求的偉大目標不知不覺就變成了要得到財富和榮譽。
父母當然要關心他們的孩子在今生的品格和光景。我們要努力使我們的孩子形成有用和受人敬重的品格。我們要督促他們，無論他們有什麽樣的職業，他們都應當在工作中毫無妥協地為人誠實。我們要鼓勵我們的孩子大大地‘愛慕卓越’，‘強烈渴求美事’。我們要追求意義最完全的卓越。
但父母在日常生活中分清楚什麽是分福音所要求的那種愛慕卓越優秀，什麽是從自私，愛世界的心流出的愛慕，這並非一件易事。在這方麵我們都犯了罪。每次我們發現我們孩子身上有一種強烈追求世界好處，或者很簡單，就是狡猾的靈，我們都會很自然地發出微笑。因為如此，我們就給他們一種印象，就是在我們眼裏，沒有什麽好處比得上這個世界。
我們是否經常性地培養比愛世界上的事更高，更尊貴的原則呢? 如果我們教導孩子，人要做的偉大工作就是積累財富，取得榮譽，享受人生，他們的職業生涯會有什麽可能的目標呢？
如果我們訓練他們成為有用的人，是為天上預備的人，我們就應當經常提醒他們輕看日光之下一切之事。 我們不可不讓他們接觸世界，而是要教導他們這世界是多麽虛空！
孩子越早看到除了他自己的進步以外，還有一種更高的追求目標就越好 — 他越早看到有比時間和感覺的齷齪短暫快樂更高，更持久的喜樂，他就會越早結出果子直到永生。他越早看到盡管他可能得到大家的歡迎，權力和財富，但仍會充滿失望和憂傷，他就越快可以預備好成為永遠有用的人。
讓父母教導孩子神派他們到這個世界上盡他們的責任 — 使他們的生命充滿用處，好來榮耀他的大名。如果這極好的原則在他們心裏紮下根，那麽他們就要享受比坐在君王的寶座上，或擁有數不盡的百萬金錢更大的真正幸福。
如果父母明白他們孩子的內心，特別是如果他們明白自己的內心，他們就會總是因為看到‘職業進步’而顫驚害怕。那從上麵而來的智慧要帶領他們經常對孩子說，正如神對先知所說的那樣，“你為自己圖謀大事嗎？不要圖謀！”—耶45:5
讓我們教導孩子神派他們到這個世界上來是為了這唯一的目的就是要順服他，歸榮耀給他的大名。如果這個原則安立在他們心裏，成為他們生命中控製的影響，他們就要在神交給他們的工作中找到安心和滿足。— 西3:23
7. 慷慨大方的靈
哦，慷慨大方的靈有何等一生長久的喜樂和賞賜！這是良心總是圍繞跳動的琴弦。孩子很快就會認識這個真理：自私的靈是低等，卑鄙和低賤的靈。沒有什麽是比良善，不自私的靈更得高舉，更偉大崇高的了。
讓你教導你的孩子自私的靈的邪惡，不自私的靈的美好和優秀，對“塵土的玩具”不加依戀。幫助他們去思想其他人的利益。在他們裏麵培養考慮其他人願望和感受的習慣。把他們的心思固定在偉大美好的目標上。
預備他們行慷慨的事。向他們講清楚“施比受更有福”，給人禮物比接受禮物更令人高興，在福音宏大慷慨的靈中，要比在世界低下，匍匐的靈紅喜樂更為長久。關於教導我們孩子的基本真理
孩子可以很快發現有比他們自己利益更大的東西，如果他們有一種宏大，君王一般的靈，他們就會更高興去探索發現這更大之事。
不要讓他們最大的追求成為—“什麽對我最好的？”而是 — “我的責任要求什麽？慷慨要求什麽？良善和沒有自私的靈要求什麽？神要求什麽？”
十九世紀的解經家湯瑪士史葛因著他非常快樂，成功的家庭而廣為人知。有一次他被問到他的方法，他回答道，“我總是先求神的國和他的義。”幸福的父母! 幸福的孩子! “神的國和他的義”在人生的每一個計劃和安排上居首位！
相當於我們孩子的信仰方麵的品格，任何其他事情都應當成為附屬之事。我們極高的特權就是“照著主的教訓和警戒，養育孩子”。無論別人怎樣說，怎樣做，基督徒父母都應當為他們的孩子選擇那“不能奪去的上好的福分”。對他們來說，任何其他事情都應該像是塵土！
在這方麵窮盡你努力的分量和精力! 我們的孩子是繼承不滅生命的! 他們是有責任的被造物，正快快朝審判台前邁進。很快他們就要躺臥在臨終的床上，從那裏他們不是升到天上就是下到地獄裏 — 這是按著他們尋找還是拒絕，跟從還是蔑視他們偉大的救贖主決定的。
一般來說，沒有堅持不懈的父母，孩子是不會變為聖潔的，這是令人痛苦般地真實。我們不加仔細關心，就不可期望他們會在藝術方麵有造詣，在科學上有學識，活在這個世界上派上用場。如果我們希望看到他們成為神的兒女，他們就一定要明白，在我們眼中，他們的品格包含，超越了我們為人父母之愛的其他任何用意。
II. 教導我們兒女時當采取的措施
1. 樹立榜樣
有話說，“成為你希望你孩子成為的人”。“榜樣的力量”可以成就極多的事情。早早在教導可以給孩子認識，或者權柄可以約束孩子之前，它就在影響孩子了。“規矩限製，榜樣吸引；規矩強迫，榜樣勸服。規矩是死的條文，榜樣是活的律法。”緊接著“良心的律”以外，榜樣是孩子認識到的第一條律法，在其他事情都被遺忘之後，它經常仍是促進他們行事為人的最大動力。
孩子是喜歡模仿的人，他們所見所聞的，他們很快就會明白。有愛心，警醒守望的父母的榜樣是強有力的影響！沒有一個孩子會太小，以致不能準確觀察父母的行為 — 孩子不會太小，一致不受這影響潔淨或是汙染。而是不知不覺，我們不斷用我們榜樣的力量來塑造我們孩子的思想，習慣和品格！
我們有誰會希望我們的孩子成為不順服，專橫，藐視人，沒有愛心，對人不友善，或者不禮貌的人呢？但如果他們在我們身上發現這些事情，我們的榜樣就會管治他們的行為！
也許和這非常富足的社會最息息相關的是，我們不想我們的孩子會害怕工作或者受苦，那麽為什麽我們自己追求時尚和休閑呢？這認識很快就在他們頭腦裏形成－我的父母並不認為努力工作，或者勤奮，或者“愛惜光陰”，是榮耀的事情，或者是給人帶來歡樂的事情。他們滿足於一種輕鬆的生活。有這樣的信息，我們的孩子會有誌向要去努力工作，成為有用，有成就的人嗎？
我們要我們的孩子成為光明正大，完全誠實的人。我們要他們守時，做事徹底。但如果他們聽著我們在歌頌這些美德，知道我們卻是在壓製真相，沒有組織，漫不經心，我們的行為豈不是在踐踏我們的教訓嗎？
我們要我們的孩子認真選擇他們的朋友和交往。但如果我們在這方麵漫不經心，這又會怎麽樣呢？現代社會所喜歡的是什麽？從今天的大眾市場來看，所喜歡的是從大眾娛樂到賭博，到醉酒，到色情，到賣淫的一係列的事情。現在可能比從前更甚，所有這些事情都以某種形式潛伏著等候來誘惑我們的孩子。我們非要給它們輕鬆進來，直接進入我們自己的生活和家庭當中嗎？
榜樣是至大的！我們有沒有對神的話語和福音的大能表達出漫不經心的懷疑？我們不敬畏安息日嗎？我們忽略了經常的敬拜嗎？我們是在效法這個世界嗎？ 我們對加入信徒的身體毫不在乎嗎？我們的目標是成為富有，偉大，受萬人尊重嗎？如果是這樣，如果我們的榜樣挫敗我們的教訓，我們還會有任何理由感到失望嗎？
我們總是在我們孩子麵前行事為人，所以讓我們用如此義的方法來行事為人，好讓他們被吸引來效仿我們!
2. 給他們嚴格的教導
孩子不僅喜歡模仿，他們還是有理智的人。他們審視判斷他們收到的信息，按著他們被教導的對這些事情相應加以確認或拒絕。
沒有什麽事情是父母不能教導他們的孩子的。孩子受到正確的教導和教育，他們會得到何等的滿足！經常與你的孩子交談 — 不是向他們傳道，而是個人的交談，這會馬上結出果實。你的孩子一定會感到你要教導他來認識和作判斷，光照他的良心，塑造他的內心。
父母！你們一定要認識到一個讓人傷心的事實 — 你的孩子是敗壞的！ 如果你不認識到這個傷心的事實，你去教育他就必然會完全失敗。他擁有一個高於一切的自私的靈 —“自我放縱”是他的王！更糟糕的是，除非他在道德性的真理上得到教導，他就要成為卑賤嗜好和不聖潔的情欲的奴仆! 他要成為罪惡的巨人！
但是造物主給了這孩子一個柔軟的良心。受到光照，它會分辨對錯，給他一種責任的感覺 — 這就是為什麽孩子會成為一個道德性的人，與動物不同的原因。他可以認識到他是一個要負責任的人。他知道他與神的關係嗎？他一定要認識到他要對神負責。
一個人當知道的事情，他就應當在非常早期的時候去知道。那光照他成年的良心和品格的偉大道德原則，應該在童年的時候就滲透進入他暗昧的思想，在其中動工。
神對父母的要求是講得清清楚楚的 —“我今日所吩咐你的話都要記在心上，也要殷勤教訓你的兒女。無論你坐在家裏，行在路上，躺下，起來，都要談論。”不僅是原則，我們還必須教導孩子關於神的真理，他的存在，完全和治理，藉著耶穌基督的救贖，聖靈的作用，真信心的美好，對耶穌無保留的委身的喜樂和榮耀，他對義人的寶貴應許，以及那等著不義之人的可怕恐懼。
對神話語的教導應該是係統，固定和經常的。 也應該是隨時隨地的 —“行在路上。”很早就要使他們熟悉聖經。讓他們的記憶裝滿了聖經的曆史，它所講的人物，以及它的真理。也要讓記憶裝滿了簡單和正確的要理問答，禱告和聖詩。這些古老的工具不再被人使用，這是何等的悲劇！應當不斷把孩子的注意力從膚淺和毀滅性的閱讀上移開，轉移到有益的和有建設性的閱讀上！
今天大多數的文學和娛樂，對智力和道德品質來說都是在施加一種破壞性的影響，有誰會否認這點呢？ 但讓我們不僅僅是咒詛黑暗。要把孩子交托給那些對他們幼年的思想施加聖潔的影響的老師。讓這種影響吸引他們，把他們爭取過來去熱愛德行和敬虔。用這些裝備他們的思想，讓他們的思想是如此被最好的教導所充滿，以致他們的思想沒有一點地方為有害的和汙染人的客人所保留。
在與他們討論他們靈魂得救的偉大話題上，我們應當帶著所有的愛和溫柔對他們說話。讓我們催促，懇求他們“逃離那將來的忿怒”！我們要讓他們看到這是我們最深深和最真心關切的問題。這是使我們眼裏充滿淚水，我們口舌對人勸說的題目。在這個問題上我們感情的所有激情和力量都要傾注而出，要“思想放光，言語火燒”。
在關於談論信仰問題上，許多父母存在著不可原諒的錯誤。我們是否大把大把把關於信仰的談話堆在我們孩子的身上，不管時機或應用是多麽不合適？教導的每一個時機都應該調得很準確，決不可使人疲倦。
掌握時機最為重要！在孩子成長的過程中，有些階段是探索的階段，是柔軟的階段，有的階段是開放的階段。有時候我們自己為了我們孩子的得救想得很多，感觸很深，禱告熱切。在這些特別的時候，我們可以帶著特別的信心，滿心歡喜去和我們的孩子展開認真和溫暖人心的交談，比平常有更大的成功盼望！
這是唯有父母才能夠完成的工作。在這方麵，一位忠心的父親，還有，一位敬虔母親的忠心努力是最為重要的。在孩子的生命中，忠心的父母肯定對其他忠心的成年人 － 主日學老師，保姆，基督教會中的敬虔婦人和長老虧欠良多，這些人都作出了貢獻，是永遠不可忘記的。
但是完全把孩子交給老師去教導的母親 — 或者在家裏忽略了對他的家人進行基督教教育的父親（因為他可以把這個擔子交給一所宗教學校），是沒有認真看待他們的責任。更重要的是，他們是低估了父母在塑造孩子的品格和命運上的力量。
3. 取得他們的信任
父母在對孩子所做的一切事情上都應當努力去取得孩子的信任。父母應當讓每一位孩子知道他們是他最好的朋友。他應當知道，沒有其他人，他是可以如此完全委身把自己交給他們的。沒有其他人可以為他如此耐心，如此長久做事和受苦，沒有其他人能以他的好行為和最大的福祉為最大的滿足和獎賞。
我們一旦把這些念頭植入孩子的心裏，我們就不會不對他的良心和品格施加強烈的影響。
但是單獨這些還不能取得他們的信任。我們應當使用各樣明智和合法的手段來得到我們孩子的愛，引導他們以我們為他們的夥伴，不覺尷尬地與我們交談，把他們自己最私人的事情放心交給我們。
想尊重他們父母的孩子有時候會害怕變得“太親密”。有一些希望得到孩子尊重和尊榮的父母會很奇怪地抗拒這樣的親密。
如果孩子被奴隸一般的恐懼所拘禁，問題就一定是出在父母身上。就算那些性格看上去是不可能被任何其他手段所控製的孩子，隻要他們被恐懼的捆綁所拘禁，父母就沒有多少指望可以對他們發揮任何令人高興和長期的影響了。
取得一位行事衝動的孩子的信任，同時又可以約束他，這決不是什麽小的成就，這要求敬虔的父母要有愛，分辨和立場堅定，他們一定要快快來到他們的天父麵前尋求智慧！
4. 訓練你的孩子順服權柄
父母每次管教孩子的時候要問的最大問題就是 — “什麽是對孩子最好的？”對於很小的家庭，特別是隻有一個孩子的家庭，這可能是唯一的問題。
每一種良好的教育體係都有著一種仁慈健全的權柄。 家庭的管治是一種特別的權柄，它的偉大運作原則是從使徒保羅而來的 — “你們作父親的，不要惹兒女的氣，隻要照著主的教訓和警戒，養育他們。”
要達到原本的目的，你的權柄一定要是絕對的！“那些進行最嚴格管教的人鞭打得最少！”如果你的權柄是絕對的，它就不需要是嚴厲的。你的意旨首先要是義的，接著它應當成為律法！任何你不能無條件認同的東西，就應當被看作是你的孩子根本不能接受的東西。
家庭管治決不可是衝動的。你是否隻有在想起來的時候才去行使你的權柄？你是否很愚蠢地縱容孩子？你的權柄是否如此多變不一致，結果你的孩子不知道什麽是規矩？你是否宣告了一條規矩，然後情況根本沒有改變就把它取消了？這樣的管治配不上被稱為管治，它是足以去敗壞任何一個孩子的。
一種溫和，帶著愛心的管治是最有權柄的 — 所以你的權柄應該是極其仁慈的。當孩子被管治的時候，他們很自然會不高興，甚至會發怒 — 但是他們不應該因為他們父母的行為而有發怒的理由。人心隻要一被限製就會反抗，當權柄粗暴，沒有愛心的時候更是如此。把“愛”編織進管教的各樣措施之中，你的管治就幾乎不會不產生影響力。
小孩子會走路的時候，甚至在更早的時候，父母就要教導他要絕對服從! 如果父母的權柄不早早建立起來，那麽它就永遠不會被建立起來。我說早，我的意思是說非常早！孩子到了十五歲的時候，權柄，僅僅是權柄，是已經管不到他了。到了那時他必定是在影響力的管治下，要麽是自我管治，要麽是根本不受管治。
像這樣的可能出現的局麵簡單來說是更加困難，不切實際！幼年順服的習慣，即使對不夠忍耐和倔強的孩子來說，很快也會變得容易，父母也會發現這很有果效。
這裏我要插上一句，我不懷疑“體罰”的正確性和重要性。神在他的話語中很充分認同這點。但這隻是給小孩子的。當孩子脫離童年期，比如到了十五歲，這同樣的棍棒就會給他造成傷害了（除非這是針對全然的不慎重或不順服而施加采用的）。如果“小大人”不被勸說，仁慈，影響力所管治，他就需要受到比他家庭管教更強有力的臂膀的管教！
確實，我們所有養育我們的孩子，讓他們走當行的路的努力，其影響力在我們還不知道的時候就完全消耗殆盡了！童年的時候是品格形成的時候！如果這些事情被忽略，我們的孩子不永遠失喪，這就真是恩典的奇跡了！
父母管教的目的永遠不可互相衝突。婚姻關係不和諧，這是教育孩子最大的敵人。在教育的每一個方麵，家庭合一的頭之間都不可有衝突。
比如，你是否是支持奢華的閑適和娛樂，而你的配偶是對此加以反對的？你是不是“早睡早起”，而你的配偶是總不睡覺的？你的配偶有堅定的權威，而你卻責怪她嚴厲，是你孩子歡樂的敵人？你們搶奪的對象就是你們所愛的孩子！如果你的權柄，還有你孩子的權柄在爭吵中被犧牲掉了，有誰會對此感到奇怪呢？
父母的管治在何時應當停止？智慧要告訴你，這要看你孩子的為人，以及你家庭的狀況。你發現和你的孩子相處是越來越喜樂的一件事嗎？這就肯定是在指著他們自由的方向了。另一方麵，如果你的經曆是苦澀的，忍耐，而非更嚴厲的管治，就是補救的辦法。要忍耐，指望神。
謙卑，堅持的禱告要在教育你的孩子這件事上成就極大的事情！你的驕傲是集中在你的孩子身上嗎？智商很高，決心很大的父母，特別是年輕的父母，是非常容易把極大的信心放在他們自己的技巧，管理和堅定決心上的。這種以我們的孩子為驕傲，相信我們自己的做法，將要遇見極大的試煉。天地的主要把這兩樣都抓在他手上。
神要我們放棄我們的自我信靠，認識到我們需要依靠他。當我們失敗的時候，我們肯定多多少少都要失敗的，我們就會麵朝著地，把我們的孩子交到全然有恩典和能力的神麵前。我們越早，越熱切，越順服地這樣做，我們就越有盼望的緣由。
當有禱告滋潤的時候，為人父母的愛是最為純淨，最為忠心，最為有效的。正是在神的施恩座那裏，為人父母的愛全然流出。如我們的孩子所需要的那樣，神正是如此顯明他的憐憫。
讓你的孩子可以聽到你每天的禱告。為他們禱告，好讓他們可以聽到你為他們求神特別的祝福。然後在你私下的敬拜中記念他們。有愛心，有忠心的父母是不願讓立約的天使離開的，除非他祝福了他們的孩子。
最後，不要滿足於僅僅是求神限製約束的恩典！要帶著信心去求他拯救的憐憫。在孩子沒有得到基督的血，在罪中失喪的時候為他們懇求。為他們懇求，因為他們有無可辯駁，無可離開的罪過。用耶穌的溫柔為他們懇求。帶著確鑿的信心為他們懇求，好使有一日你可以和耶穌一起說道，“你所賜給我的人，我沒有失落一個。”
III. 勇氣! 鼓起勇氣!
1. 行善不可喪誌
神使你孩子歸信的時間可能不是你的時間。你的努力可能看上去都是徒勞 — 甚至年複一年都是如此 — 但你可能最終得見你的孩子在恩典和聖潔的安慰中大大歡喜。那出去流淚，帶著寶貴種子的人，無疑要歡喜再來，帶著收取的穀穗。
一位剛硬，心不感恩的孩子可能令你心碎一萬次。他可能令你頭發因著悲痛而發白，甚至直到你進入墳墓 — 但你可以回首，知道你沒有疏忽你的責任。
2. 做一位願意改正的父母
你可能忠心地在做這一切，你的孩子為此不住感謝你。但是如果你知道在這方麵你沒有忠心，那麽你也當知道這種不忠心是極不討神喜悅的。你要永遠體會這種苦果。是的，神可能容許你的孩子在你眼前活出非常不聖潔的生活。你可能甚至會看到他們紮進死亡和地獄！
你是否在攔阻神祝福你的孩子? 我有很簡單的建議 — 立刻改正! 在你還能夠的時候，抓住你孩子的手，和他們行在聖潔和救恩的道中。
看著你的孩子，看看他們的搖籃。設想他們在這充滿陷阱的世界上前進。看看死亡和審判。你會帶著喜樂在那邊和他們見麵嗎？在複活的早晨，你能帶著微笑和你的兒女打招呼嗎？
3. 孩子– 當思想你們極大的責任
“要孝敬父母，使你們得福，在世長壽。”—弗 6:2。我們已經看見這個應許已經令人歡欣地得以實現。令人傷心的是，我們也看到它意味著神要帶著能力行出他所警告的。在紐約這個犯罪的大都市，大眾潮流和風尚是最有影響的 — 我已經看到如此多的年輕人滑下危險的湧流， 我已經看到他們因藐視權柄而付出最大的代價。
孩子們，在主裏麵順服你們的父母，因為這是應當的。但我對你們的要求是多得多的。我要你們的心，你們的生命，你們的存在都是為了那造你們的那一位。當在你年青的日子紀念你的創造主。在他還可以被尋見的時候當去尋求他，當他接近的時候呼求他。
再聽我說一次，如果你藐視這偉大的救恩，那麽是什麽樣的瘋狂在驅使你進入滅亡和絕望呢？你在與那些榮耀中的聖徒為此哭泣的人和事為伍嗎？你們曾經在父母聖潔的膝頭上被養育長大，僅僅是為了要與地獄裏的魔鬼結夥，為其所用嗎？決不要讓“黑暗的世界”高興看到你，這如此多的禱告和淚水傾注的對象，成為它自己的兒女！
【責任編輯：聖山網編輯】
CHRISTIAN PARENTINGby Gardiner Spring (1785—1873)
I. ESSENTIAL TRUTHS TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN1. Subjection to AuthorityTime and again, the Word of God calls us to be in subjection to authority. If there is a place where this call should be especially steady and certain, it is the family. And it is a happy family who cultivates this habit of subordination.God has assigned the years of childhood and youth to parental control. This wise and generous arrangement simply cannot be upended without jeopardizing the best interests of our children for time and eternity. It is an arrangement that will preserve a child from a thousand evils.The spirit that considers a parent's wishes—that hesitates to violate a parent's authority—that prefers to sacrifice its own gratification—this spirit is one of the strongest shields that can be thrown around youthful character.In fact, this spirit of submission helps lead to early purity. Not every dutiful child is pure, but it certainly is more likely that such a child will become so, rather than one of an obstinate, unbending temper.2. Sacred Regard for TruthfulnessA sacred regard for truthAnd what a strong barrier this lying throws in the way of holiness and heaven! Children must be taught the immense importance of always speaking the truth. They must see that love, confidence, and honor—or disgust, distrust, and disgrace—will follow them as they let either truth or lies lead them. Every false statement—every art of concealment—every exaggeration—every broken promise—only hardens the heart. It burns the conscience and opens another avenue to new seductions.On the other hand—truth, pure truth—with all its simplicity and loveliness—forms the foundation of every moral virtue.3. Industrious HabitsDo we have our eyes on our child's best interests? We will prepare them for some sort of useful employment. Industrious habits have such a happy influence on the intellectual and moral character. Many a child has been lost—to himself—to his family—to the world—and to God—because he had little else to do but indulge himself. But many have been rescued from disgrace and ruin—and pointed toward industry, accomplishment and happiness—simply because they had little time for entertainment.Now, when we talk about hard work, are we enemies of refinement? Certainly not—and we do not want to prepare our children merely for splendid accomplishments. Courtesy and elegance also have a happy influence on character. But combine them with enterprising work habits, and you have a truly powerful force.4. TemperanceTemperanceFor a while an uncurbed, unrestrained child may roll right over life's bumps, but eventually distress and ruin will come calling.Health, intellect, character, usefulness, comfort, property, conscience, and the soul—all are so easily sacrificed at the shrine of the 'god of intemperance'. A child's mind is the door to his heart, and our children must think, feel, and consider clearly, before they will repent, pray, and love.If the God of all the earth has appointed parents the immediate guardians of their children's happiness, virtue, and hopes—let us beware how we sow 'seeds of intemperance' in infancy and nurture them in childhood. They are fertile seeds—and prolific in death.5. Selection of FriendsParents should also consider their children's selection of friends, and teach them wisdom in this area. This cannot always be under parental control, but at least we can teach them discernment with regard to their friends.There are two aspects of this principle. First, the family is the most important set of relationships that God has given us. How we deal with other relationships is directly affected by how we deal with the people in our family.The second aspect of this principle is recognizing how other people influence and affect us. Idle, vicious, ignorant or skeptical tendencies in our companions often influence us to the detriment of our convictions. We are sometimes unconscious of this effect. Sin is contagious—it seems all right if everyone else is doing it. Children should be encouraged to flee these tendencies, and to live as righteous children of God.It is here, in the company of older friends, that—example persuades—argument encourages—exhortation stimulates—flattery deceives—and ridicule mocks. Here all that is social and sympathetic in a child is pressed into the service of good—or evil."Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise—but the companion of fools will suffer harm."—Proverbs 13:20. Many parents have seen their hopes die in such a circle of friends.Our children's relaxation and even their employment (where possible) should ideally be at home. No matter where they are, their entertainment should never bring reproach upon a well-governed and godly family.This means that parents may need to deny themselves some creature comforts. Is this unthinkable in our current affluence? If by a few sacrifices you could purchase for your children the habit of loving their home, is any price too high? Those families are best educated, and exhibit the most moral feeling, which are most tenderly attached to home. Soon enough, our children will be extending their borders beyond it.While we ought not to be completely separated from the world, every family ought to be a little world within itself. A bright, strong affection for the images and friendships of early life so easily draws an affectionate child away from temptations. They bind him to his home, so that no matter how far a child may be removed from your control, as long as this affection moves and glows within him, his love for home will keep him from falling.6. Proper Estimation of the World and Its CultureWhat do children esteem most highly? They should be carefully taught how toestimate this world and its culture. Many prudent, even pious parents encourage far too much zeal for worldly advancement. The spirit of this competitive world is so ingrained in our anxious parents' minds. The great object of our pursuit insensibly becomes the attainment of wealth and honor.Certainly parents should be concerned for the character and condition of their children in this life. We want to see our children develop useful and respectable character. We will urge them to unbending fidelity in their profession, whatever it may be. We will inspire our children with a generous 'love of excellence' and a 'strong desire for good'. We will aim for excellence in the best sense of the word.But it is not an easy matter in everyday life for parents to draw a line between that love of distinction and excellence which the gospel requires—and that which flows from a selfish and worldly heart. We all sin in this regard. It is very natural for us to smile whenever we discover in our children a spirit that is eagerly set on worldly good, or that is simply shrewd. In doing so, we leave them with the impression that, in our estimation, there is no good to be compared with this world.Do we regularly cultivate higher and nobler principles than the love of earthly things? If our children are taught that the great business of men is to heap up wealth, attain honors, and enjoy human life, what will be the probable end of their careers?If we would train them up for usefulness and heaven, they must often be reminded to put a low estimate upon everything beneath the sun. They must not be shielded from the world—but instead taught how vain and empty a thing it is!The sooner a child can see—that there is a higher object of pursuit than his own advancement—that there are more elevated and enduring joys than the sordid and transitory pleasures of time and sense—the sooner he will bear fruit unto eternal life. The sooner he sees that even though he may attain popularity, power and wealth and yet be filled with disappointment and sorrow—the more quickly he is prepared for eternal usefulness.Let children be taught that God sent them into the world to do their duty—to fill up their life with usefulness—and thus to honor His great name. If this generous principle takes its seat in their hearts, they will enjoy greater real happiness, than if they sit in the thrones of princes, or become possessors of untold millions.If parents know their children's hearts—and especially if they know their own—they will always tremble for them at the prospect of 'career advancement'. The wisdom that comes from above will lead them often to say to their child, as God did to the Prophet, "Do you seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them!"—Jeremiah 45:5.Let children be taught that God sent them into the world for the sole purpose of obeying him, and bringing honor to His great name. If this principle rests in their hearts, and becomes a controlling influence on their lives, they will find contentment and satisfaction in the work God has given them.—Colossians 3:23.7. A Generous SpiritOh, the lifelong joy and reward of a generous spirit! This is a chord to which the conscience always vibrates. Children quickly grasp this truth: A selfish spirit is a low, abject and base spirit. There is nothing more elevated—more grand and noble—than a benevolent and unselfish spirit!Let your children be taught the evil of a selfish spirit, and the beauty and excellence of an unselfish spirit, unattached to 'toys of dust'. Help them to think of the welfare of others. Form in them the habit of consulting the wishes and feelings of others. Fix their minds upon objects that are great and good.Prepare them for acts of generosity. Show them that "it is more blessed to give, than to receive"—that there is more pleasure in offering a gift than accepting it, and more lasting joy in the enlarged, generous spirit of the gospel—than the low, groveling spirit of the world.Children can quickly discover that there are interests greater than their own—and, if they have an enlarged and princely spirit—interests which they will be happier for investigating.Let not their grand inquiry be—"What is best for me?" But—"What does my duty require? What does generosity require? What does the spirit of kindness and unselfishness require? What does God require?"The 19th century commentator Thomas Scott was well known for his remarkably happy, successful family. When once asked about his method, he replied, "I have always sought for them in the first place, the kingdom of God and his righteousness." Happy parent! Happy children! where the "kingdom of God and his righteousness" take the precedence in every plan and arrangement for human life!To the religious character of our children, everything else ought to be made subservient. Our high privilege is to "bring up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Whatever others may say or do, Christian parents should choose for their children that "good part which shall not be taken from them." To them, everything else should be like dust!Exhaust the weight and vigor of your effort here! Our children are heirs to immortality! They are creatures of responsibility, and are rapidly advancing to the judgment seat. Soon they will be upon a bed of death from which they will ascend to heaven or descend to hell—to the extent they sought or rejected, followed or despised their great Redeemer.It is painfully true, that ordinarily, children will not become holy without persevering parents. We cannot expect them to become skillful in the arts, learned in the sciences, or useful in the world without our careful attention. And if we hope to see them become the children of God, they must understand that, in our estimation, their 'character' absorbs and eclipses every other intention of our parental love.II. MEASURES TO TAKE IN TEACHING OUR CHILDREN1. Set an Example"Be what you wish your child to be," the saying goes. So much is accomplished by "the power of example". It influences children long before instruction can inform—or authority can bind. "Rules constrain—example is alluring. Rules compel—example persuades. Rules are a dead law—example a living law." Next to the 'law of conscience', example is the first law with which children are acquainted—and it often remains their strongest motive to action after all others are forgotten.Children are imitative beings, and they quickly understand what they see and hear.The example of an affectionate and watchful parent is a powerful influence! No child is too young to be the accurate observer of its parent's conduct—and to be purified or contaminated, by that example. However unwittingly—we are constantly molding our children's minds, habit, and character by the power of our example!Who among us desires for our children to be unyielding, overbearing, contemptuous, unkind, unfriendly, or discourteous? But if they discover these in us—our example will govern their conduct!Perhaps most to the point in this very affluent society—we do not want our children to be afraid of work or hardship—so why do we ourselves pursue fashion and leisure? The message quickly forms in their minds—My parents do not consider hard work, or diligence, or "redeeming the time"—to be reputable or pleasurable. They are satisfied with an easy life. With such a message, is it likely that our children will aspire to hard work, usefulness and accomplishment?We want our children to be honorable and completely truthful. We want them to be punctual and thorough. But if they hear us extolling these virtues and know that instead we bend the truth and are disorganized and careless, will not our conducttrump our teaching?We want our children to carefully choose their friends and conversation. But what if we are careless in this regard? What are the pleasures of modern society? Judging from the reality of the popular market today, they lie somewhere on a spectrum that stretches from popular entertainment—to gambling—to drunkenness—to pornography—to prostitution. And now, perhaps more than ever, all of these lie in some form waiting to entice our children. Must we give them an easy opening—right into our own lives and homes?Example rules!Do we express careless doubts about the truth of God's word and the power of the gospel? Do we not reverence the Sabbath? Do we neglect regular worship? Are we conformed to this world? Are we careless about joining ourselves to a body of believers? Is our object to be rich, great, and honored by all? If so, will we have any ground for disappointment if our example defeats our instructions?We are always acting in the presence of our children—so let us do it in such a righteous way that they are enticed to imitate us!2. Provide Vigorous InstructionChildren are not merely creatures of imitation, but creatures of intellect. They examine and judge the impressions they get—and confirm or reject them according to how they are taught.There is no subject off limits for parents in teaching their children. What gratification for a child to be rightly taught and educated! Frequent conversation with your children—not preaching, but personal conversation—will bear immediate fruit. Your child must feel that you want to inform his understanding and judgment—enlighten his conscience—and impress his heart.Parents! You must recognize a mournful fact—your child is depraved! You will fail utterly to educate him if you don't recognize this sad reality. He possesses a supremely selfish spirit—'self-indulgence' is his king! Worse—unless he is instructed in moral truth, he will become a slave of base appetites and unholy passions! He will become a giant in wickedness!But the Creator has given this child a tender conscience. Enlightened, it differentiates between right and wrong and gives him a sense of obligation—it is how a child becomes a moral agent and different from an animal. He can learn that he is a responsible creature. Does he know his relationship to God? He must feel accountable to Him.What a person ought to know—he ought to begin to know very early. The great moral principles, which enlighten his adult conscience and character, ought to penetrate and work on his dark mind in childhood.What God requires of parents is clearly spelled out—"And these words which I command you shall be in your heart, and you must diligently teach them to your children—when you walk—when you lie down—and when you rise up!" And not just principles. Children must be taught the truth about God—His being, perfections, and government—redemption by Jesus Christ—the influence of the Holy Spirit—the beauty of true faith—the joys and honors of an unreserved devotion to Jesus—His precious promises for the godly—and the dreadful terrors awaiting the ungodly.INSTRUCTION in God's Word should be systematic, regular and frequent. It should be casual, also—"When you walk by the way". Early let them be made familiar with Scriptures. Let their memories be stored with its history—its biography—and its truths. Let them also be stored with simple and truthful catechisms, prayers, and sacred hymns. How tragic that these ancient tools have fallen into disuse! The child's attention should be constantly be diverted from light and destructive reading—to that which is profitable and constructive!Who disagrees that the great bulk of today's literature and entertainment exerts a destructive influence—both on the intellectual and moral character? But let us not just curse the darkness. Let children be committed to teachers who will exert a holy influence on their youthful minds. Let this influence charm and win them to the love of virtue and godliness. In this furnishing of their minds, let them be so preoccupied with the best instructions—that they shall have little room for noxious and polluting guests.In conversing with them on the great subject of their soul's salvation, we should address them with all affection and tenderness. Let us urge and plead with them to 'flee from the wrath to come!' We want them to see that this is a subject about which we feel the deepest and most tender concern. This a subject that brings tears to our eyes—and persuasion from our tongues. On this matter all the passion and strength of our affection flows forth in "thoughts that glow—and words that burn."There is an inexcusable backwardness in many parents when it comes to conversing on religious subjects. Do we pile religious conversation onto our children, no matter how inappropriate the timing or application? Every opportunity for instruction should be well timed—and never made tedious.Timing is everything! In the history of a child, there are seasons of searching and tenderness—and there are seasons of openness. And there are times when we ourselves think much, feel deeply, and pray earnestly—for the salvation of our children. Out of these special times, we may proceed with special confidence and a delightful fullness of soul, to serious and heartwarming conversations with our children—with more than usual hopes of success!This is a job for parents alone. Here, the faithful efforts of a faithful father—and even more, a godly mother—are most important. Faithful parents certainly owe much to the other faithful adults in a child's life—Sunday school teachers, nannies, and godly women and elders in Christ's church. These all have obligations that may never be forgotten.But that mother who leaves her child only to the instruction of teachers—or thatfather who neglects the Christian education of his family at home (because he can shift the burden onto a religious school)—has not carefully considered his responsibility. More importantly, he underestimates the power a parent has in shaping the character and destiny of his children.3. Gain Their ConfidenceIn all their conduct toward them, parents should seek to gain children's confidence. Every child should be convinced that his parent is his best friend. He must know that there are none on whose devoted attachment he may so completely rely. There are none who will do and suffer so patiently and so long for him. Who look for no higher gratification or reward, than his good conduct and highest welfare.Once we plant these thoughts in a child's heart, we cannot fail to have a strong hold upon his conscience and character.But this alone may not gain their confidence. We should use every sensible and lawful means—to secure the affections of our children—to induce them to choose our company—to enter into conversation with us without embarrassment—and trust us with their own private affairs.Children who want to be respectful to their parents are sometimes afraid of becoming 'too familiar'. And some parents who desire to be respected and honored by their children strangely resist such familiarity.Where children are held in slavish fear—the fault is always the parent's. Even with children whose tempers seemingly cannot be controlled by other means, there is little hope of having any happy, long-term influence as long as they are held in the bondage of fear.Gaining the confidence of an impetuous child—while restraining him—is no small feat. It calls on all the kindness, discretion and firmness of a godly parent—who will soon go to his heavenly Father for wisdom!
4. Train Your Children to Be Under AuthorityThe great question in every act of parental discipline is—"What will be for the best good of the child?" Where a family is small, and especially where there is but a single child, this may be the only question.Every good system of education maintains a kind and wholesome authority. The government of a family is of a peculiar kind—and its great operating principle comes from the Apostle Paul—"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."To be what it ought to be—your authority must be absolute! "Those who maintain the strictest discipline—give the fewest strokes!" If your authority is absolute—it need not be severe. Your will should first be righteous—and then it should be law! Anything to which you cannot freely consent, should be considered as altogether out of the question for your child.Family government must never be impulsive. Do you exercise your authority only when the notion strikes you? Are you foolishly indulgent? Is your authority so various and changeable that your children don't know what the rules are? Do you announce a rule and then, without any change of circumstance, revoke it? Such government does not deserve the name. It is enough to spoil any child.A mild, affectionate government is the most authoritativeBy the time a child can walk—and even earlier—he should be taught implicitly to obey!The alternative is simply more difficult and impractical! This early habit of subjection—even to impatient and unbending children—will soon become easy, and parents will find it effective too.Here may I add—I have no doubt of the propriety and importance of "corporal punishment". God has abundantly approved of it in His word. But it is only for a child. When that child passes from childhood to, say, fifteen years of age, the same rod does him injury (unless it is used in response to downright impudence or disobedience). If the 'young adult' will not be governed by reason, kindness, influence—he needs a stronger arm than the discipline of his family!Indeed, all our efforts to train up our children in the way they should go, exhaust their influence before we are aware of it! The days of childhood—these are the seasons when character is formed! And if these are neglected, it will be a miracle of mercy if our children are not forever lost!The parents purposes in discipline should never come in collision with each other. Marital discord is the deadliest foe to the education of children. On every topic of education, let there be no jarring between the united head of a family.Are you, for example, a proponent of extravagant leisure and entertainment—and your spouse opposed? Are you "early to bed, early to rise"—and your spouse up at all hours? Is your spouse firm in authority—and you chide her as severe, and the enemy of your children's pleasures? Your bone of contention is the child you love! Who can wonder if your authority—and your child—are sacrificed in the squabble?When should parental government cease?Humble, persevering prayer will accomplish much in educating your children!God means for us to renounce our self-confidence and feel our dependence on Him. When we fail—as certainly we will to some extent—we will lie prostrate on our faces and carry our children to the God of all grace and power. The sooner, more earnestly, and more submissively we do this, the more reason we have to hope.Parental tenderness is the most pure, the most faithful, and the most productive—when prayer nourishes it. It is at God's mercy-seat that a parent's love all flows out. And God reveals His mercy exactly as our children need it.Let your children hear you pray daily. Pray for them so they can hear you asking God's special blessing on them. And then remember them in your private devotions. An affectionate and faithful parent will not let the Angel of the Covenant go—until He blesses his children.Finally, do not be content to plead only for God's restraining grace! Go on in confidence to ask him for his saving mercy. Plead for them in their sinfulness—lost without Christ's blood. Plead for them because they possess indisputable, inalienable immortality. Plead for them with the tenderness of Jesus. Plead for them with the assurance that someday you will say with Jesus, "Of those whom you have given me—I have lost none."III. COURAGE! TAKE COURAGE!1. Do Not Get Weary in Well DoingGod'sA hardened, ungrateful child may break your heart ten thousand times. He may turn you grey with grief, even to the grave—but you can look back and know that you were not negligent.2. Be a Correctable ParentYou may be doing all of this faithfully, and your children will long praise you for it. But if you know you have been unfaithful in this, know also that this unfaithfulness greatly displeases God. You will feel the bitter consequences forever. Yes, God may allow your children to live out very unholy lives before your eyes. You may even live to see them plunge down to death and hell!Do you stand between God and His blessing for your children? I have simple advice—Reform at once! Take your child by the hand—while you can—and walk them in the paths of holiness and salvation.Look at your children. Look at their cradle. Anticipate their progress through this ensnaring world. Look at death and judgment. Will you meet them there—with joy? Will you, on the morning of resurrection, greet your sons and daughters with a smile?3. Children– Consider Your High Obligations"Honor your father and mother, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land."—Ephesians 6:2-3. We have seen this promise delightfully fulfilled. And, tragically, we have seen its implied threat executed with force. In New York, this guilty metropolis, where popular trends and fashions are their most powerful—I have seen so many youth glide down the dangerous current, and I have seen them pay the ultimate price as they scorned authority.Children, obey your parents in the Lord—for this is right. But I want so much more from you. I want—your hearts—your lives—and your existence for Him who made you. Remember your Creator in the days of your youth. Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while he is near.Hear me once more, if you still despise this great salvation—What is this great infatuation that drives you on to ruin and despair? Are you sporting with that over which the saints in glory weep? Were you nurtured in the lap of holiness—only for the society and employment of the fiends of hell? Let the 'world of darkness' never rejoice that you—the object of so many prayers and tears—have become its own child!
