虔誠的鸚鵡【1】(笑話，譯文）
譯自法語by me, 英語由Gemini proofread過
Pious Parrots
A parishioner comes to see the priest at the end of the mass.
"Good day, Father. I have a small worry at my house."
"Ah, what is your problem, dear madam?"
"Well," she says, "I have two female parrots who seem to think they are prostitutes."
"How can that be?" the priest asks, quite offended.
"As soon as someone passes in front of them, the two female parrots cry out: 'Hey！ We're two hookers! Want to come up, honey? We'll take you up to the seventh heaven【2】!'"
"But that is horrible, my poor madam!"
The kind priest tries to think of a solution. After a moment, he says to the parishioner:
"Listen, I think I have the solution for your problem. You see, I also have two parrots—two beautiful male parrots—but they spend all their time praying with their rosaries 【3】. I even teach them the Bible. Bring your two female parrots; we'll put them in the same cage, and I think my two parrots will teach them a good lesson, such as how to praise and adore the Lord. They will give your parrots a good example."
The lady is thrilled, and that same afternoon, she brings the two female parrots to the priest.
As soon as the two female parrots are in the cage, the females exclaim:
"Hey！ We're two hookers! Want to come up, honey? We'll take you up to the seventh heaven!"
Then one of the male parrots says to his neighbor:
"Stop praying, you can throw away your rosary! Our wish has been fulfilled!"
虔誠的鸚鵡
一個教徒在彌撒過後去見牧師。
“您好，父親。我有點為家事擔憂。”
“啊。您有什麽事？夫人？”
“哦,”她說，“我有兩隻雌鸚鵡，她們認為自己是青樓女。”
“怎麽是這樣？”牧師覺得觸怒了他。
“隻要有人經過她們前麵，兩隻雌鸚鵡就叫嚷起來：‘我們是青樓女！過來吧，蜜罐兒，我們可以帶你到極樂世界！’ ”
“但是這可太恐怖了，可憐的夫人！”
仁慈的牧師左思右想，不久，他對她說：
“聽著，我有個辦法。您瞧，我也有兩隻鸚鵡-兩隻漂亮的雄鸚鵡-而且他們無時無刻不在與它們的教珠【3】一起祈禱。我甚至教他們學聖經。把您的兩隻雌鸚鵡帶到這兒，咱們把她們放到同一個籠子裏，我覺得我的兩隻鸚鵡一定可以給您的鸚鵡上好課，讓她們珍視和溺愛上帝。他們將會給您的鸚鵡樹立起一個楷模。”
女人欣喜若狂，當天下午就把她的兩隻雌鸚鵡帶給牧師。
可是兩隻雌鸚鵡剛進籠子，就大喊：
“我們是青樓女！過來吧，蜜罐兒，我們可以帶你到極樂世界！”
這時一隻雄鸚鵡對他的同夥說：
“快把你的教珠扔掉，別再祈禱了! 咱倆的夙願終於實現了！”
【1】. p. 11-12. Perroquets Pieux. 1000 Blagues
【2】. Seventh heaven.
【3】. Rosary.
p. 1307. Oxford advanced learner’s English-Chinese dictionary, 4th ed.
