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今天早上接到一封讀者的來信，很有感觸。從字裏行間感覺應該是一個“她”，我很感激她曾經給我寫過一封又一封長篇累牘的留言，在其中對我鼓勵並以自己的切身經曆告訴我，作為女人，遇到很多事情，在生活中該如何處理並如何麵對；還盛情邀請我有時間一起出來共進晚餐。她是一個來多倫多幾十年的華僑，給我留言也全部都是英文，但是字裏行間流露出的真情仍然讓我感動不已。
但是今天的留言讓我有些愕然，最近我寫了一篇《丁字褲無特權》，是開創不久的晚九朝五專欄的一篇文章。顧名思意，這個晚九朝五也就是希望能夠表現在都市中，不循規蹈矩不墨守陳規並帶一些熟女情懷的成熟話題專欄。有可能最近的幾篇文章話題有些激進，加上我配的丁字褲圖片有些讓這位讀者接受不了，她在信中說：“夕子, if I say something to you, please don’t be offended.
I can tell that you’re struggling to get click points so the articles you wrote are not from your heart. You tried different subjects but they didn’t work here, so you may just go back to the basics, write what you really feel. I see your pain.
I didn’t want to say anything to you because I felt that you don’t care about me who left message to you. Some others always reply to their loyal readers, but too bad you didn’t care about your readers like me. This is how I feel, so let you know.”
我很感謝她對我的關注和一直以來的支持，並提出的這些建議。真的謝謝。
我是一個自由散漫的人，寫東西純粹是個人愛好；就好比有人喜歡炒股票有人喜歡唱K有人喜歡賭錢有人喜歡遛狗；而我，喜歡寫字兒。我對於寫字兒的熱情也許你無法理解，有時候大半夜都會爬起來打開電腦寫東西，去旅行的時候，也是在等車間隙或者在飯館的餐桌上，即興寫點什麽；很多我的遊記都是邊玩兒邊寫出來的。
作為一個自由撰稿人，我一直努力讓自己不拘泥在某種特定的題材和特定的寫作風格上。和報紙上其他的專欄作者不太一樣吧。
譬如我寫時政，就會有很多人罵，女人寫點風花雪月算了碰什麽政治，你有那麽有頭腦麽？你的觀點有那麽權威麽？譬如寫性感的熟女文章，也會有人罵，說我賤、教人學壞之類的；就算寫遊記，也有人說你去的地方一點都不好玩；寫散文，寫小說，甚至寫同性戀題材的文章；每一類型的文章都會有人提出反對意見，都會遭人謾罵，潑冷水。但是我還是要堅持。
正像我之前所說，我是個熱愛自由，非常隨意的一個人。我願意寫我想要寫的東西，但是並不意味著我為了完成任務而“不得不”寫完一篇稿子，或者說幾期稿子。在多倫多重拾離開我很久的筆頭子，我很開心，真的開心。但是，如果在這個開心上麵要加一個束縛，我想，這也違背了我的初衷。
寫作這麽久，每千字15塊；指望這個來賺錢糊口是絕對不可能的；回想過去的三年，很多時候我都是在上學，放學後轉三部車去打工，然後一直到深夜才回家；回家後基本沒時間正經吃點東西，往往是隨便吃個麵包然後寫完作業；到淩晨才打開電腦開始寫稿。然後睡上4-5個小時，第二天早起繼續掙命，能讓我堅持下來並很勤奮去寫的，就是心底的這份熱愛和激情。
人生短暫，生活為了快樂。
我一直說，歡迎持不同意見的人上來跟我過招。我知道網絡高手雲集，能夠有幸被厲害的高人指教也是件幸事。但是，就事論事我歡迎，人身攻擊，就我博客上放自己照片的行為大加諷刺謾罵，我一般直接刪除，我這裏並不是垃圾桶。
回到那位讀者上，非常對不起，我要堅持我的原則。真的抱歉。這樣涉獵廣泛，其實真的是自己的愛好使然。寫作是讓我手指跳舞的靈魂和動力，我在寫，雖然也渴望有人閱讀，有人產生共鳴，但是不可能讓人人都理解人人都能接受。
忠於內心，忠於自己的初衷，忠於信仰（寫作已經成為我的信仰）；並能夠堅持下來，我想這些才是最重要的吧。
我知道我的水平不夠優秀，文字也不夠優美動人，情節可能稍顯混亂；但是，這是我自己的風格，我也會逐步去努力改進，希望大家能看到我的進步。
累：重疊；牘：古代寫字的木片。
長篇累牘 (cháng piān lěi dú)
解釋：篇幅很長，內容很多。
出處：《隋書·李諤傳》：“連篇累牘，不出月露之形。”
你可能想到的是貶義，但是我的確沒有任何一點點這個意思。因為你給我的留言都比較長，而且內容很豐富，讓我記憶比較深刻，所以用了這個詞。如果讓你有所誤解，實在不是我所想要的。
第一，你的每一個留言我都很用心地回複了，你可以回頭去看看我的留言記錄。
第二，我很感謝你一直以來對我的支持和鼓勵。
第三，此文送給你也送給一些對於我文章有意見的朋友。
我用了長篇累牘來說你的留言，不知道為何引起你的誤解和極大的憤慨。從字數來說，你的留言的確很長，我也一直覺得很溫暖。從上文中也並沒有對你的言論有任何的攻擊和侮辱，都是感謝；隻是就事論事，對一些你的問題作出解答。另外，我也改動了幾處，譬如說把信改成留言。
你的留言我都存下來了，也一直作為鼓舞我的動力，謝謝你曾經對我的支持和鼓勵，以下為你的留言：hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-28 14:08:17
Hi 夕子, I told my huby about "kissing many frogs" theory and he found that was very funny (try to make you laugh). I came to Canada by myself 20 years ago and felt alone like crazy while my husband was in China. So trust me, I know how you feel now. One more thing, I don't know if I ask too much if I want to offer you a dinner. Just sit down and listen to you and provide some comfort to your heart (I'm almost 48 year old woman with a 18 year old heart so that I really love younger people). You can say no to me, that's fine, we need time to know each other. Just remember, you're not alone, be happy.
hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-28 08:49:35 刪除
hi 夕子, actually I really like to meet with you but I don't drive. Don't know how to reach you. I just want to hug you and give you some support, and let you that you're not alone.
hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-28 03:40:57 刪除
回複夕子的評論: Be happy and everyting will be fine. Remember, you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince, hehee, hahaa, right? The last one was only a frog, so let him go. You will find your prince.
hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-27 06:59:02 刪除
sorry that I had a typo in the last one. 夕子, you looked very good on TV. You looked very pretty, fit, warm, kind, sunny, talktive, open, etc, blal, blal, I can give you all of the positive ajuctives to discript your performance in the interview. Long time ago, my best male-friend asked me going out, I didn't want to go because I thought I didn't look good. My friend said something to me that I remembered for the rest of my life: as a man, I never pay attention to such a little thing like, if you looked a little fatty, or puffy, or whatever, I just like the way you are. So I will tell you the same, your performance in the interview is excellent. I don't think you are fat or 胖姑娘, you look better on TV than in your pictures. You are a very healthy and pretty girl. Trust me, I'm a mid-aged woman and I see pretty girls like 靚麗的風景，and you are a 靚麗的風景，挺好的， 別折騰自己，傻孩子。
hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-27 06:53:33 刪除
回複夕子的評論: 夕子, you looked very good on TV. You looked very pretty, fit, warm, kind, sunny, talktive, open, etc, blal, blal. Long time ago, one of my close male-friend asked me going out, I didn't want to go because I thought I didn't look good. My friend said something to me that I remembered for the rest of my life: as a man, I never pay attention to such a little thing like, if you looked a little fatty, or puffy, or whatever, I just like the way you are. So I will tell you the same, your performance in the interview is very gooexcellent. I don't think you are fat or 胖姑娘, you looked better on TV than in your pictures. You are a very healthy and pretty girl. Trust me, I'm a mid-aged woman and I see pretty girls like 靚麗的風景，and you are a 靚麗的風景，挺好的， 別折騰自己，傻孩子。
hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-26 16:37:48 刪除
Also, in one of your articles, you mentioned that your friend got his CFA in a year. I think this is a mistake, you need to write 3 level exams to get the Charter (at least 2 and half years to pass all three level exams. Hope you don't mind that I pointed that out to you.
hairycat 在三個人，到底行不行？ 留言於：2008-07-26 16:35:43 刪除
Hi 夕子, just watched your TV interview on Fairchild and really like you on TV. You look better on TV than your pp. You are sunny, open and very confident -- good girl. Wish you great success in the future, make a lot of money and enjoy writing. Way to go!!! I live in Scarborough area and like to go to the flea market to say hi to you in person -- actually I'd like to support your business (your new fans). Would you let me know kindly? I'm learning typing Chinese so typing English is faster for me so I write to you in English.
希望你的生活愉快，大家都好好生活，好好加油！