To My Husband

Instead of talking to you directly, I decide to write to you, because when I talk with anger, I can not control my voice and emotions. 

I have made my decision, which is you all go to Virginia in one car, and I am not going this time. I give you and your son time together to bond since you two do not spend other time together. Also, save you some money on food and another hotel room. 

Based on the current situation, even if I go, I will not feel comfortable and happy. I can imagine your son will be the one who decides where we eat and what we do in the whole trip. I feel better not to get involved and stay home alone. 

I have my own principles, also known to you as my culture. In my culture, person who make money and pay bills make decisions in their family. In my culture, children listen to and respect their parents, even step parents. In my culture, people lives in their means and try not to overspend when they have limited resources. For Marcia and Robert, they have much more money than us and they even shared one room with Rebecca on their vacation to Colorado. In my culture, people try to overcome difficulties. In this case, sleeping on different bed in the same room in a 4-star hotel is not even considered as a difficulty. In my culture, people keep their words. I will always be a Chinese and never change my principles. That is why they are called principles. BTW, there may be some Chinese doing drugs and other bad things. But we never consider that as our culture. 

I do not like you swing back and forth between your parents, your children and me. You are in the same household with me. I need you to be on my side. Your brother was on his wife side when Tya had the fight with your mother. You were on the bitch side and did not see your parents as often when you were married to her. I am much more reasonable comparing to Tya and the bitch. Your respect to me and my culture is the base of our marriage. According to my culture, I respect your parents as my own, care for them as my own, agree most things with them and give them much more companies than all your other siblings and their spouses do. At the beginning, I did try to treat your children as my own and teach them the right values in life. But in your culture, step mom is just the wife of their father. That is why I gave up two years ago. I respect your Jewish culture. I never said anything to make you or your family to feel uncomfortable, even when I do not really agree something in your culture. You and your mother brought up the culture difference here is not acceptable to me. In the future, I will be hesitate to make any hotel arrangements together with your mom. 

I am OK to be home alone. If you feel bad, do not be. If you feel OK, that is fine too. My decision of not going with you this time is because I consider your feelings about your children. In the future, if we plan for other events and inform your children long before the events and if they do not make their minds or make/change their minds on the last minutes, it will be your children not to join us on those events. I am not going to make/change plans according to your children and their mother’s decision. 

Say happy birthday to your aunt for me if you want. Have a nice trip.

[金豬寶貝]

Finally, after my husband read my email, he decided to go to visit his aunt in Virginia with me and his parents, not taking his children with us. I was trying to tell him that I do not feel like going on this trip, I do prefer to say home alone, and I really want him to take his children to Virginia. But he insisted to go with me. He said I am his wife and he wants to do everything with me. He is a sweet but sticky husband.