湊了首兒歌。瞎湊了一首：）

I walked across the Greenwood garden
looking for the road we always took
i sat on the meadow my heart was taken
though of you and of our joys we partook

dear friend, do you know how i miss you?
where have you gone?do you still play flue?


I looked around for the cherry tree
we engraved our names on the trunk
i touched the branch looking for the names
Is this the place that we've made wishes?

dear friend,do you know i care about you?
how have you been? do you still write haiku?



覺得rhyme有時真的影響表達。
比如，倒數第二段沒有考慮韻腳，正是完全是想要表達的意思。
其它地方為了rhyme，反而不是一開始想要寫的意思。

所有跟帖： 

• though－＞thought； flue－＞flute -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (0 bytes) () 02/28/2010 postreply 15:37:10

• rhyme or no rhyme, feelings climb... -bearsback- ♂ (410 bytes) () 02/28/2010 postreply 17:59:14

• thanks。 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (436 bytes) () 02/28/2010 postreply 19:17:22

• sweetie, yes, in free verse -bearsback- ♂ (102 bytes) () 02/28/2010 postreply 19:28:57

• 謝謝指教。練了一首梨花詩 -戲雨飛鷹- ♀ (251 bytes) () 02/28/2010 postreply 19:53:25

• sweetie, yes, that's it. let feelings speak -bearsback- ♂ (213 bytes) () 02/28/2010 postreply 21:02:15