When we talk about supporting a person during tough times, we sometimes use the words “sympathy” and “empathy” interchangeably. Therapists have determined that not only do these two words have vastly different meanings, but how we show “sympathy” or “empathy” are quite different.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines sympathy as “the feeling that you care about and are sorry about someone else’s trouble, grief, misfortune, etc.” There are many times when sympathy is an appropriate emotion for a difficult situation. However, sympathy separates you from the person struggling.
Empathy is defined as “the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions” or “the ability to share someone else’s feelings.” It is looking at things from another person’s perspective and attempting to understand why they feel the way they do.
Sympathy comes from our ego. It is what we know we should do, and often, it is telling others what to do or feel as well. Empathy comes from the heart. It is feeling another’s pain and sharing a human experience.
Another main difference between empathy and sympathy is that empathy is an appropriate emotion at any time. Showing empathy will bring you closer to others no matter what the circumstances. Where sympathy is only exhibited during tough times, being empathetic is an attitude we can adopt at any time.
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